MESO-Rx

Anabolic Steroids

introducing myself

metoo79

metoo79

New Member
Hi there,

My name is Angela. I am female, 36 years old... well my birthday is Thursday I'll be 37... and been training for over 1.5 years now seriously and heavy. Off and on before that for years. I seem to have hit a plateau about 4 months ago and no matter what I can't break it. I've had people check my form that's not it, I am doing it correctly. I just can't get past that hump.

I think some of my issues are related to a previously very unhealthy lifestyle, I think I may have really screwed up my hormone levels. I had a mild form of anorexia for almost 10 years. I don't think you can rob your body of nutrients for years and not expect some kind of hormonal response in your body. I think it is causing my body to hold onto fat in case I decide to starve it again. I wish my body could just listen to my words lol... I have been doing well with the eating disorder since starting training. It is probably what saved me, honestly.

Well now whatever the problem is, I can't seem to get the fat on my lower body to turn into muscle, and I am not growing any new muscle either. I can also visually see areas of my body (like the hips for example) that are very under muscled. I have a lot of strength considering that...I have been on a bulk now for 8 months. I am 5'8, 145 lbs. I eat 2500 calories a day, on a macro of 45c/25f/30p. My body fat over all is 20% but that's like 25% on the lower body and 15% on the upper body. Translation - in jeans I look smoking hot LOL but anything less and I'm unhappy with what I see.

I've been doing research for the last 6 months on steroids and I am knowledgeable on the science but I did not have any personal anecdotes to back up what I've read and that's what I'm here to find. And from there on, I want to start with either anadrol or anavar. I've been reading anaboliclabs and I've already narrowed down my sources so I am about ready to place an order.

I'm really excited to be a part of this community. I am glad I found it, I have learned a lot from what I have read so far. I love reading and it seems this site has plenty for me to learn about.

Hope to talk to some of you.

All my best,

Angela
 
Eman said:
Be a little cautious about revealing too much personal info. This board's primary purpose is the discussion of illegal substances. Be a little paranoid! :)
Click to expand...

Thank you. I normally consider myself a paranoid person. Do you think I've already shared too much? If so I will edit my post. I wasn't planning on sharing any other identifiable details. :P And I don't do photos because of my body art.
 
metoo79 said:
Thank you. I normally consider myself a paranoid person. Do you think I've already shared too much? If so I will edit my post. I wasn't planning on sharing any other identifiable details. :p And I don't do photos because of my body art.
Click to expand...

Your name, age, DOB, and current city might be a bit much. I mostly mentioned it just so you didn't go too much further with info lol. Just trying to help! No pics is a good idea, unfortunately. :(
 
Welcome to Meso! Enjoy your stay.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Welcome to MESO!
I struggled with anorexia for almost a decade so I know how you feel.

Is there a particular reason you divided your macros 45/25/30?

Have you tried perhaps doing 40C/40P/20F
Or even
30C/50P/20F

You may find it a little easier to shed that extra fat tweeking your macros, reducing carbs and fats while increasing your protein.

Care to give more details about your training plan?
 
Hi and welcome!

I have to agree with Devika. I think your priority should be diet. Adjusting your macros and even further, adjusting the choices of foods... maybe even give us your breakdown of what your typical day looks like...

Venturing off to aas may not be the answer yet. Aas aren't a fat/weight loss tool. That's what diet, cardio and training does. Aas change your body composition and increase your mass. If you aren't quite at your goal yet then all you will do is make yourself "thicker"
 
I apologize for the delay. I tried to reply many times but there was some error kept popping up. I am now out of town on vacation and also taking some much needed rest.

As to the concern about sharing too much info I'll be careful. However I have 0 other online presence so no worries. I searched the Google for my first name, DOB, and city, and I'm not coming up.

As to the question of my macros it's many fold... First, my main problem is not the fat, it's the fact that my body ate my muscle and so I'm still under very muscled. I want to continue to gain muscle and then I will worry about cutting. Also I have celiacs and my research says that celiacs need a little more fat... and finally having 65-70g of fat a day is critical to my emotional stability. And finally, if I were to do 50% protein naturally it'd be way too much for my body to absorb, that would be over 300g of protein a day. Now I realize my diet will adjust again if I decide to go on gear.

As far as training schedule, I am on a 5 day split as follows - chest/calves/abs; legs/glutes/back; shoulders/calves; arms/abs; legs/glutes.

Weight training is a big source of stress relief of mine. I'm worried some days, at least natural, I am actually over training as I'm doing 4 compound lifts and 4 accessories and then some days additional... and that doesn't include calves & abdominals. Another reason I'm considering gear...

Thank you all for your replies.
 
GearGodess said:
Hi and welcome!

I have to agree with Devika. I think your priority should be diet. Adjusting your macros and even further, adjusting the choices of foods... maybe even give us your breakdown of what your typical day looks like...

Venturing off to aas may not be the answer yet. Aas aren't a fat/weight loss tool. That's what diet, cardio and training does. Aas change your body composition and increase your mass. If you aren't quite at your goal yet then all you will do is make yourself "thicker"
Click to expand...

I apparently was not clear. I am not trying to lose any weight or any fat. Visually my issue is that my body has more fat than muscle. But that's just me being vain. My goal for training is to add muscle. Which is what aas are for.

I'm beginning to regret posting here.. I don't always choose the right words... But I'm not a fool.
 
Thanks again everyone for the welcome.
I have a propensity towards being exceptionally long winded so in an effort to make things as simple as possible I wanted to again clarify my reasons for wanting to start using AAS.

I know that everyone is different. We are built differently (meaning basic bone structure) and our bodies also react differently. Since I've been way too brief I'd like to expand now...

I went through extensive trauma as a young teenager and into young adulthood and didn't deal with it well, instead I developed an on again / off again terrible case of anorexia for over a decade. I went once over 2 years on a 300 calorie a day diet with cheat days once a week going up to 1000 calories. I tried recovery after that point but continued to relapse... At one point I became almost bed ridden, I would spend most all day of every day lying down in bed. Not only that, but I also would binge drink about once a weekend and occasionally use cocaine. I was a very sick person for a long time.

My body's reaction to 10 years of starving myself (and other abuse) was extreme muscle wasting where I lost over 15% of my body's muscle. I was also experiencing other side effects. Over time I developed a condition called cachexia. When I would try to gain weight, I had no appetite, and an aversion to food as a result of that condition.This time the aversion to food was automatic, despite the fact that I wanted to eat, anything more than a few bites would leave me so full I felt like I'd be sick if I took any more bites.

I began treatment 3 years ago. During this time, one of the methods I used to help stimulate my appetite and for my anxiety regarding eating was cannabis. Recovery was slow but it came. I started weight training a little over 2 years ago. I also did hypnosis and meditation. At the beginning I was still struggling with appetite so my physical results were slow but the changes were taking place in my mind all the same... Now I write this with a totally normal appetite and no food hang ups. I discovered that my life time stomach aches when eating certain foods was actually allergies and was diagnosed celiac. This was over a year ago. I am happy to say today I've finally figured out something which was a mystery for so long - FOOD.

I am very thrilled with my recovery thus far and want to continue the journey. Weight training is so good for me, emotionally, especially with helping me heal from trauma so that I don't even want to use destructive coping mechanisms. /Hooray!

I still to this day however struggle with the muscle wasting issue. This has affected me both in terms of strength gains and physical appearance. In my research, I found that certain AAS were developed to treat muscle wasting in the chronically ill. I'm a pretty intellectual person who loves to read so I've read scholastic study after scholastic study on the results of certain AAS for this condition, and I've decided to try anavar. I'll be starting very low at 5mg per day. I'm unsure how big I want to get... it's not a vanity thing because now I do really know I look much healthier... I'm just not heading towards competition or anything so I don't want to risk my health unnecessarily more than I already will be. I'm not wanting extreme gains but I have been stuck at the same level with squats and everything else on my lower body for 4 months now. I am concerned, as most female users (and I imagine, especially first time users) of any type of AAS. So I will start small and with a short cycle (8 weeks) and measure my results... From what I've read anavar can be remarkable for muscle wasting in low doses, and strengthens all muscle including the heart which is a big deal for me. My heart rate still tends to drop too low to this day, a sign of weakened heart muscles. So while I know I risk my liver, kidneys, and will need to closely monitor my cholesterol... I believe the benefits are enough to risk, well, the risks. I've also studied what I will need to take along side it to minimize those risks.

This article isn't a scholarly one but it is easy to read and backs up what I've said and I've quoted it below - -

The Dangers of an Eating Disorder: Muscle Atrophy - -
"As your muscles deteriorate from the lack of nutrients being distributed they lose their ability to function properly and strengthen themselves. The affects of muscle loss while suffering from an eating disorder may make it more difficult to build muscle during recovery"

Finally in regards to weight loss or fat loss, that's an issue I'm sure I'll want to tackle at some point but for right now it's not an issue for me. If the muscle wasting wasn't present, the fat would drape the muscles. In my case, I am lacking the underlying muscle... so as a result I look much, much older than I am. Now that I am healthy mentally I want my body to reflect it.

AND I'm tired of squatting the same stupid weight every week!! And when I try to go heavier, I have ended up hurting myself (nothing the chiro didn't fix but it was enough a warning sign for me)... Also as I said before since it's such a good stress relief for me (I have a ridiculously stressful job to boot) I love to spend time in the gym "throwing around heavy stuff" (as I say to my friends who don't train) and would love to see how AAS can help me grow when I do so, instead of the risk of over training.

Oh and one more note, I am actually closer to 5'9 than 5'8... but for a female I have a fairly large frame, genetically. So I know some might see 145 lbs and complaints about my body composition and think I'm looking to lose fat but I'm not. I want to try to get to about 160 lbs before I even consider "cutting"... This is not just off the top of my head, it was calculated also using scholarly articles and doing a lot of measuring and algebra. But I think I've said enough for one post.

I think too much and I talk too much and sometimes have trouble focusing my thoughts in the written format. Hopefully I was more clear.
 
Last edited:
metoo79 said:
I apparently was not clear. I am not trying to lose any weight or any fat. Visually my issue is that my body has more fat than muscle. But that's just me being vain. My goal for training is to add muscle. Which is what aas are for.

I'm beginning to regret posting here.. I don't always choose the right words... But I'm not a fool.
Click to expand...

I hope you don't regret posting, this is a good and very helpful place to be. I think it may be a little misunderstanding, that's all. We are all here to help eachother and reach the goals we have set, even surpass them.

it may be just the fact that you indicted you want your "fat to turn into muscle". Maybe it is how you said it as it is impossible for fat to magically turn into muscle. That's just not possible. Fat loss is done by diet as the number one tool. That's why we have brought up diet and maybe adjusting that first before adding any supplementation. The way you have described yourself does sound like you are the "skinny fat" and again, a lot of that can be tackled with diet adjustment. Also, due to your age and your health situation, I would also agree that high protein and high fat would definitely be the way to go. But again, it boils down to the right choices of foods. As for carbs, you definitely need them and keep them fibrous/complex only.

To be perfectly honest with you, it is much easier to max out your natural possibilities/options before you venture out into the world of AAS. You want to ensure your body is ready for it... and that's what we are trying to help you figure out first... and the diet and training are the first two steps.
 
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