Joke #2

[bigpmp]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they
live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done
his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His
mother tells him no breakfast until he does his
chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to
feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He
goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He
goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He
goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives
him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't
get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk
in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says,
"I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any
eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you
don't get any bacon for a week either. I also
saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't
getting any milk." Just then, his father comes
down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway
across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at
his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going
to tell him, or should I?"

 

[dolfe1]

Oh so now you're trying to top my joke, I see how it is, j/k I've heard that one before, funny.

 

[esco]

that was good! dolfe, looks like you have more then just me to compete with.

 

[dolfe1]

that was good! dolfe, looks like you have more then just me to compete with.

lol Let em rip esco.

 

[bigpmp]

No competition from me. I am not much of a smiley, happy kind of mutha fucker to begin with. I just had a buddy email that to me and though you Bro's might like it. Trust me Dolfe, your joke status will never be challanged by me.

 

[Neodavid]

Do true stories count?

There was a Marine deployed to Afghanistan. While he
was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the
letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up...AND she wants pictures of herself back.

So the Marine does what any squared-away Marine would do. He went
around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of naked women to his
girlfriend with the following note:

I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

 

[diesldud]

Do true stories count?

There was a Marine deployed to Afghanistan. While he
was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the
letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up...AND she wants pictures of herself back.

So the Marine does what any squared-away Marine would do. He went
around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of naked women to his
girlfriend with the following note:

I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

This one kicks ass

 

[esco]

this ones a classic!

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on
the radio the other day and you have to read his
reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you've
got to love this!!!!

This is one of the best comeback lines of all
time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio
(NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US
Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a
Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what
things are you going to teach these young boys when they
visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them
climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit
irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be
properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a
terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be
teaching them proper rifle discipline before they
even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to
become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a
prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended

 

[dolfe1]

Great ones, Neodavid and esco. lmao

 

[thick]

the first joke has been on here at least 3 times, the marine one at least 2 times and now esco's has been on here twice. And i thought dolfe was bad