Meso drug addicts

[ChuckSipes]

i love that theres a lot of fellow addicts here..

i won't give the whole story but i used to trash my body so much, i had so much fun in those days but after a while the parting every weekend turned into everyday which led to uppers to combat the lows and vice versa..then using rohypnol and any other heavy benzo when i couldn't get any opiates to combat withdrawals etc it was a fucked up vicious cycle. after 2 rehab stints i actually reached a point where i no longer wanted to use any opiates any more.

i am on bupe (subutex) - which i really wish to get off and since it was mentioned in a thread a couple weeks ago I've cut back from 32mg to 4mg.. i have an appointment with my DNA dr next week to talk to him about ridding myself of this ball and chain once and for all.


one thing that i do miss is smoking a spliff every now and then, and even more so i miss the partying.. i don't feel the urge to drink to try and drown sorrows or anything like that, but i do miss random nights having some drinks or having some molly/coke and having a loose night/next day.

i don't touch anything any more apart from the odd valium to help with sleep; all prescribed by my DNA dr... once upon a time you give me a bottle of valium and the next day they'd be gone. now i only ever use them when i have to and have 0 desire to abuse them..
my question is for all my fellow addicts.. have you guys gone completely 100% clean and sober? some people in recovery i know have rules where they let themselves have a night out once a year, or if they are overseas as long as they avoid their main poison they think they're okay. hows it worked for you ?

 

[ChuckSipes]

dunno why my text suddenly got small?

 

[Rackin45s]

I got 5 years without a drop of anything but Test!! I went cold turkey off of opiates. I have met very few addicts that can do drugs only casually. All or nothing is usually par for the course when it comes to addiction.

 

[SJB78]

Yeah I'm on methadone. Keeps me good. Want to start reduction as a new years resolution as I haven't used now for a few years. I'm 37 and started THC at 12 then iv amphetamine and opiates at 18. Training is my drug of choice now.

 

[jaymaximus]

Ive never had drug problems. But alcohol has fucked me over a lot. I tried the whole responsible occasional drink thing, but it didnt work. So now its nothing. Only way thats safe for me.

 

[tattedlegend]

For now I've gone 100% sober. I may reconsider allowing myself to socially drink or occasionally smoke some bud down the road but I don't see any need for it right now. In my experience I'm normally all or nothing like previously stated. I still don't consider myself an addict though , more of a substance abuser. I just have much better experiences being sober now. Some people like to go along a path of "harm reduction" where they "learn" how to drink or use the substance they want, but I just don't see that being a viable or logical option, for me at least.

 

[Heynow]

@ChuckSipes i definitely know the challenges with subs. Dr put me on 16 mg over a yr ago and would have been happy just leaving me there. I too am down to 2mg, but it's not ez. Have a feeling going from 2 to 0 will be the hardest, but I'm determined. Unfortunately drinking reared its ugly head to help cope with the sub withdrawals. I don't crave the ops and rarely smoke the bud which has really always been my drug of choice. Oh well it's one small step at a time and knowing who we really are is the first step. Hang in there and I will be cheering for you all the way! GL

 

[Big_paul]

If young kids knew the truth about drugs and addiction, they would never start. Dying is preferable to addiction.

 

[Ozzy619]

i love that theres a lot of fellow addicts here..

i won't give the whole story but i used to trash my body so much, i had so much fun in those days but after a while the parting every weekend turned into everyday which led to uppers to combat the lows and vice versa..then using rohypnol and any other heavy benzo when i couldn't get any opiates to combat withdrawals etc it was a fucked up vicious cycle. after 2 rehab stints i actually reached a point where i no longer wanted to use any opiates any more.

i am on bupe (subutex) - which i really wish to get off and since it was mentioned in a thread a couple weeks ago I've cut back from 32mg to 4mg.. i have an appointment with my DNA dr next week to talk to him about ridding myself of this ball and chain once and for all.


one thing that i do miss is smoking a spliff every now and then, and even more so i miss the partying.. i don't feel the urge to drink to try and drown sorrows or anything like that, but i do miss random nights having some drinks or having some molly/coke and having a loose night/next day.

i don't touch anything any more apart from the odd valium to help with sleep; all prescribed by my DNA dr... once upon a time you give me a bottle of valium and the next day they'd be gone. now i only ever use them when i have to and have 0 desire to abuse them..
my question is for all my fellow addicts.. have you guys gone completely 100% clean and sober? some people in recovery i know have rules where they let themselves have a night out once a year, or if they are overseas as long as they avoid their main poison they think they're okay. hows it worked for you ?

Nice! 4Mg was hard for me to get below, it was a mental game. After 4mgs you want to do a long and slow taper, till you get to .5mg or .125mgs. Save a few of those valiums when you cut it out all together.

 

[jaymaximus]

For now I've gone 100% sober. I may reconsider allowing myself to socially drink or occasionally smoke some bud down the road but I don't see any need for it right now. In my experience I'm normally all or nothing like previously stated. I still don't consider myself an addict though , more of a substance abuser. I just have much better experiences being sober now. Some people like to go along a path of "harm reduction" where they "learn" how to drink or use the substance they want, but I just don't see that being a viable or logical option, for me at least.

Ive never considered myself an "addict" but I know when it comes to alcohol I have a problem. When I do drink im a binge drinker. So I keep myself away from it.

 

[Whoremoans]

I was on opiates and amphetamines daily. Heroin, meth, adderall, opana Ritalin, oxycodone, exc. as much of it as I could get, breakfast lunch and dinner. Hard liquor all night, every night. Oh and I was probably the biggest stoner you could ever know. Worked 60 hours a week plus sold stuff on the side and ever dollar I made went to getting higher. Fast forward to now and I haven't don't hard drugs in 8 months, haven't smoked weed in about 5 months. I still have a couple beers sometimes but it's very rare, only on holidays or special occasions. The last time I drank was the 4th of July.

 

[flexx89]

i got clean for 1.5 years before i started using gear and i think its just enhanced my desire to stay clean. bodybuilding is way better to focus on than how im gonna get a bundle

 

[pmac928]

Been clean for over 3 years. I can thank na for showing me a new way to live. I was a fucking derelict, a Degenerate. A fucking drain on society. Today I am a successful man. A productive member of society. I'm a father to 20 month old son and soon a little girl. If you are on subs I wouldn't stress it as long as your living right. Get off when you can. Take your time and don't rush.

 

[Morefyah]

Seems to be a lot of talk about opiates here. I guess I kinda missed the boat on that shit thank god.

I am 42 and when I was coming up we didn't really fuck with pills that much.
I mean I did crash my best friends car into a telephone pole on Xanax and Jim beam, shattered my nose and he bit his tongue in half. Ahhh those were the days.

I was actually prescribed delauded once when I had kidney stones.
Shit was like floating on a cloud of titties!!
Though it felt great I knew that shit was not for me.

I have prob eaten over 500 hits of acid and shroomed hundreds of times also.
Been smoking weed for 25 years and had a little cocaine problem for about 10 years.

Now I barely drink, still smoke herb everyday and actually ate some mushrooms last weekend.

Props to all the survivors here at meso!!

 

[MANWHORE]

Started with an Oxy every Thursday the two days a week then friend got Methadone which was ED ..
got on Dope cause it felt good and felt it's easier to come off than Methadone ...
came off Dope with Suboxone and some alcohol then Subutex which was a waste cause I was able to use Dope with it so I came off Subs with Vodka then ended in Veterans Rehab ...

Stayed off Opiates since 2010 and drank when I got out rehad in end of 2010 then ended it Feb 2012 .
I smoked some weed with my girl last year but it's not my thing and I've used Kratom ..
I like Gear and if HGH works like I hope then I will keep using it too ...

Methadone is the Devil ..
Kratom works..

I've experimented with drugs and drank alcohol minimally throughout my life but in 2007 during divorse is when I got bad

 

[flexx89]

Methadone is the Devil ..

doesnt methadone rot your bones from the inside? i member a fiend was telling me that and he said that was his reason for not getting clean..i didnt use suboxone or subutex to stop i just quit cold turkey after rehabs and relapses. was a smart drug addict who never suffered more than a headache, pissy mood or lack of sleep as a withdrawal. was on 24mg of suboxone my first 4-5 days in treatment and i was almost higher than i was on the streets lol. i also member shooting subutex and that got me wrecked a few times.

 

[jaymaximus]

Been clean for over 3 years. I can thank na for showing me a new way to live. I was a fucking derelict, a Degenerate. A fucking drain on society. Today I am a successful man. A productive member of society. I'm a father to 20 month old son and soon a little girl. If you are on subs I wouldn't stress it as long as your living right. Get off when you can. Take your time and don't rush.

Congrats on the upcoming addition to the family Pmac. Nothing like kids to put life in perspective...

 

[MANWHORE]

doesnt methadone rot your bones from the inside? i member a fiend was telling me that and he said that was his reason for not getting clean..i didnt use suboxone or subutex to stop i just quit cold turkey after rehabs and relapses. was a smart drug addict who never suffered more than a headache, pissy mood or lack of sleep as a withdrawal.

no headache for me but lots of cold sweat pissy mood and not much sleep

 

[brutus79]

One night a year getting drunk or high? Must be cool to not be an addict I guess.

I started smoking crack when I was fourteen, in rehab at 16. Relapsed... went through ought the bender with a few years on coke... because Crack was the problem. A few years on club drugs, drinking, then a few years on Benzos and opiates. Then heroin. My personal favorite? Pcp... smoke it till you don't know your own name and shoot a bundle with half a bar in it and blow a couple lines before you nod out. Puke, then enjoy not knowing who or where you are.

I tried everything to get clean without total abstinence. Church, shrinks, psychological treatments, begged for electroshock therapy. Anything but AA or NA. not for me. Finally dragged myself out of a crackhouse after a 200k bender that lasted 10 months and I had lost my house, car, family, relationship, everything. I stayed sober for 18 months. I decided I could have a few beers. I had a needle in my arm three days later. Lost everything I toiled for over the last year and a half- job, relationship, all my possessions and sold my new care for five ounces of crack. I ended up staying out for four horrible fucking years... details not necessary.

I have a child that means the world to me and I hated her when I was using, but I didn't want to do to her what my drug addict parents did to me. I got sober when she was four months old- it was the hardest thing I ever did. Had a seizure day three- shit my pants and almost bit my tongue off. Meetings every day. Sponsor. Steps. Forced a better way of life.

My life is fucking amazing. I found the iron 2 1/2 years ago, I have real friends and a great career. My child is my everything. I got 50/50 custody and I do everything with her I never got to do. We are best friends- she is my angel, my princess. I would do anything to protect her and this life I have- me and my 270 lbs (and concealed carry permit) fucking dare anyone to test that.

Get fucked up once a year? I would rather cut my dick off, fill the hole with gasoline and light it on fire.

 

[MindlessWork]

After I was severely injured in a fall over a dozen years I was battling intense pain, migraines and depression triggered by a severe head injury as a result so I ended up getting hooked on vikes, xanax and morphine just to keep myself from falling over the edge. Took me 4 years to get cleaned up and off the damned drugs.

Much respect to you guys who have gotten clean and productive and I've learned my own hard lesson, despite my situation came from an accident.