Parenting Thread

[jaymaximus]

I know a lot of us on here are parents and step parents (which I think may be harder). I thought I would start a thread so anyone who had anything to talk / rant about could come to one place.

Also I have something stuff to rant on myself...

I have a 2.5 year old son. Because of my job I dont get too see him much. He lives with his mom and we're not together. It gets rough sometimes, even with pictures and video its not the same as being there. Missing all those moments you can't get back. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how you deal with it?

 

[Heynow]

I've dealt with this myself years ago. Best advice I can give is try to be very consistent with visitation schedule as you possibly can. Children need a schedule and the consistency gives them something to look forward to and it proves you will always be there for them. MO only but my kids chose to come live with me about 8 years in and we feel this played an important role in their decision. To this day my kids know I will be there if needed. Other than that take care of YOU!!

 

[jaymaximus]

I've dealt with this myself years ago. Best advice I can give is try to be very consistent with visitation schedule as you possibly can. Children need a schedule and the consistency gives them something to look forward to and it proves you will always be there for them. MO only but my kids chose to come live with me about 8 years in and we feel this played an important role in their decision. To this day my kids know I will be there if needed. Other than that take care of YOU!!

Thanks. I think the good thing is him being so young its harder on me now than it is him. He has his mom, my parents, her parents, and my brothers and sisters there now. One thing that is rough is when I do see him I almost feel bad disciplining him since im not around. I know I gotta be dad, but part of me just wants to be fun guy.

 

[jaymaximus]

Also unrelated, but related. I cant stand when parents who arent together talk sh*t about the other parent on front of their kid. Take that somewhere else.
Im lucky my son has a great mom who takes care of him. Even though we dont always get along I know he'll be good.

 

[Heynow]

Thanks. I think the good thing is him being so young its harder on me now than it is him. He has his mom, my parents, her parents, and my brothers and sisters there now. One thing that is rough is when I do see him I almost feel bad disciplining him since im not around. I know I gotta be dad, but part of me just wants to be fun guy.

It's not all bad just being the FUN guy right now. It's a balance for sure and you will need to tighten up the discipline as he gets older. I had good luck with treating them more like adults and helping them to understand why they get disciplined. The cause and effect method, kids are a lot smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. As he gets older he will also appreciate your commitment to diet and training. My kids still talk about it. They grow up seeing others doing and eating whatever the hell they want and they will soon say to themselves, damn my daddy has some discipline with his diet etc. as we all know it's not easy. Good luck to you and it sounds like you have a ton of support with your family and that's key!! And your ex. Sounds like you got this part figured out. Never talk bad about his mom no matter what. I damn near had to cut my tongue out for a few yrs. lol

 

[Ozzy619]

One thing that is rough is when I do see him I almost feel bad disciplining him since im not around. I know I gotta be dad, but part of me just wants to be fun guy.

Im in the same boat, my ex took my daughter when she was 10 months, now shes almost 6. Its very hard for me to punish her, I feel so bad that its hard for me to. It was my fault my ex left so have a lot of guilt that I put my daughter in that position.

I try to do a positive reinforcement system, when shes good ahe gets a star, after 5 stars she gets a reward, something bad she gets a star removed. If she gets 3 consecutive sets of stars she gets a big reward, like chuckee cheese.

 

[blazinshotguns]

I didn't have a father figure in my life growing up and look how I turned out

 

[Ozzy619]

I didn't have a father figure in my life growing up and look how I turned out

Well do the world a favor and dont reproduce, gene pool is polluted enough

 

[jaymaximus]

I didn't have a father figure in my life growing up and look how I turned out

Lots of people dont have both parents and turn out well. Lots of people have both and turn out horribly. My son will have both parents.

 

[blazinshotguns]

Lots of people dont have both parents and turn out well. Lots of people have both and turn out horribly. My son will have both parents.

completly true . The environment and peer the child grows up with also plays a role

 

[blazinshotguns]

Well do the world a favor and dont reproduce, gene pool is polluted enough

Idk if I even can reproduce

 

[Ozzy619]

Lots of people dont have both parents and turn out well. Lots of people have both and turn out horribly. My son will have both parents.

I was raised by druggies, then great grandparents and I turned out semi ok lol. If anything it made me a better parent and gave me character.

 

[pmac928]

My son is 20 months old and my daughter will be here in october. It is the most amazing thing to watch my little guy learn new things everyday. I sometimes find it hard to balance work, training and family time. All I want in this life is for my kids to have it better then I did. While my parents tried very hard, there were things I should've never seen, and things that should've never happened to me that I'll make sure will never happen to my children.

I just want my kids to have a choice to work with their hands or not. I love what I do, and make decent money but wish I had other options when I was younger.

 

[manafest]

If you brought children into this world THEY come first over anything else period! If you feel you arnt doing enough as parents it's time to start reevaluating other things in your life that you seem to find the time in doing. #1 start letting you children know that you as parents love them without doubt...(that dosent mean spoil them to make it think Love)..I have a soft spot for kids, they are innocent without doubt, us as adults a lot of times have the biggest impact on their actions and behavior and yet we tend to sit around and go hmmm wonder why johnny or lucy is acting this way...ITS US..!!

 

[jaymaximus]

So as I stated in the original post Im away from my son right now. His mom called me upset because he bit a kid at school (my son is just a month from being 3) and she didnt know what to do.
I just laughed. I told him he was wrong for biting and he said sorry, but it was funny (the other kid wasnt hurt).
I guess it happened because the other kid wouldnt let my son go down the slide and kept standing in his way, i know it sounds messed up, but I was a little proud he did something.

But his mom doesnt understand boys. Anytime he gets a scratch or a bruise she freaks out. I keep telling her "boys will be boys".

 

[Ozzy619]

So as I stated in the original post Im away from my son right now. His mom called me upset because he bit a kid at school (my son is just a month from being 3) and she didnt know what to do.
I just laughed. I told him he was wrong for biting and he said sorry, but it was funny (the other kid wasnt hurt).
I guess it happened because the other kid wouldnt let my son go down the slide and kept standing in his way, i know it sounds messed up, but I was a little proud he did something.

But his mom doesnt understand boys. Anytime he gets a scratch or a bruise she freaks out. I keep telling her "boys will be boys".

Lol I pushd my best friend off the bunk bed once for not letting play with his toys and once pushed a kid off the slide for stealing my turn. Both times I got is big trouble but I kept being a boy. My nickname as a kid was "stitch" because I was always getting stiched up. Sounds like you have an alpha male, at least he wont be the one not getting picked on.

 

[big boi]

As long as u know u r giving it ur all n then some ur good. I was locked up until my oldest was 4. Even though he's now 10 he can still remember me not being there. All I can do is try to forgive myself n b a better dad every day.

 

[jaymaximus]

If you're a parent and your kid is going to the prom, does it cross your mind your kids probably humping their date? Like more likely than not.

That would / will bug me all night when it happens.

 

[johntt44]

If you're a parent and your kid is going to the prom, does it cross your mind your kids probably humping their date? Like more likely than not.

That would / will bug me all night when it happens.

Thanks Jay! My daughter graduates next year.

 

[ickyrica]

Step-dad here. About the luckiest guy in this position I'd say. He is smart, independent, respectful and has a work ethic like he's from a different generation.

I've been with his mother for a very long time and I would love to take credit for his success, but I can't. His mother is the architect of his development. I've just been here for him whenever he needs help.