Rektest - Death is available log

I threw up and thought I was dying because I thought it was blood. Ghoul assured me had it been that I would have been in so much pain I would have noticed, I was in no pain.
We came to.. no more diet coke and more water. Which helped.
I miss diet coke.
I've met patients throwing up blood that weren't in excruciating pain. You should probably see a Dr if you throw up blood rather than consulting the ghost pokemon of a steroid forum.
 
Cmon… a little more gh is better than the tren, no?
No judgment here - I have abused hormones. I do, however, have a question, which is "Why?"

Note that it is just a question. It is not, why the hell? or anything negative. I am just curious what your goals are and what you hope to attain by doing so. It is expensive, for one thing. If I spend money, I want to get my money's worth.

I have always had a reason for every hormone or drug I have ever taken. I have also had a reason for the dosage. It has not always been a good reason, in hindsight, but I had one.

So what is yours?

I ask because you have to be the only person on the forum taking 20 iu of hgh, and we have at least one IFBB pro and several others who will probably be so within a couple of years, none of whom report taking anything like that. Do you mind sharing your reason?
 
I am currently doing 4.2 iu.

I did a little experiment. I skipped my p.m. shot of hgh. In the a.m., I did low intensity cardio. My heart rate maximum was 129.

That night, I injected my hgh. The next morning, I repeated the same cardio, everything the same. My heart rate maximum was 137.

This is a sample size of 1, but, still, that is a pretty significant difference.

Blood pressure is higher on hgh, too (yes, one skipped injection lowers my blood pressure the next day - I have tried that experiment several times).
 
Cmon… a little more gh is better than the tren, no?

The gentleman above me asking you "why" more is better hit the nail on the head.
I am very grateful for the question.
Not surprising, though, as we know he is a rational and knowledgeable man.

You went from 10 to 4 to 14 iu. And now this.
I had a look from the beginning.
So, a high amount of one thing had to necessarily be substituted with a high amount of another, for good measure.
I would think that leaving space and scope to add to something, rather than starting at 2000% from the get go, makes things easier to address and notice.
And I am taking this as "the get go" because things were changed.
But then I am retard and what do I know.
Maybe this is the correct way to proceed.

However, I was wondering whether objecting to what you were previously doing has come down to me being a pita about it, in the end.
I know you don't owe me or anyone anything and we are zero, in your life.
But do you regret stopping tren and this is the way it manifests itself?
I told you I am scared you will go back to it, just because you actually like it.
You are the only one who can finds reasons for all this.
Nobody can.
And I don't want to be the random person bothering you with useless thoughts and questions who, one day, you may end up being resentful towards.
 
The gentleman above me asking you "why" more is better hit the nail on the head.
I am very grateful for the question.
Not surprising, though, as we know he is a rational and knowledgeable man.

You went from 10 to 4 to 14 iu. And now this.
I had a look from the beginning.
So, a high amount of one thing had to necessarily be substituted with a high amount of another, for good measure.
I would think that leaving space and scope to add to something, rather than starting at 2000% from the get go, makes things easier to address and notice.
And I am taking this as "the get go" because things were changed.
But then I am retard and what do I know.
Maybe this is the correct way to proceed.

However, I was wondering whether objecting to what you were previously doing has come down to me being a pita about it, in the end.
I know you don't owe me or anyone anything and we are zero, in your life.
But do you regret stopping tren and this is the way it manifests itself?
I told you I am scared you will go back to it, just because you actually like it.
You are the only one who can finds reasons for all this.
Nobody can.
And I don't want to be the random person bothering you with useless thoughts and questions who, one day, you may end up being resentful towards.
That is not the case, its not about you being a pita
And I dont regret stopping the tren, will I always have tren whispering into my ear to jump back on? Absolutely, but I respect you, very much, and you told me no more.
Your whispers outweigh the tren whispering.
That one day would never come,
I dont mind anything.

To be truthfully honestly, I like experimenting, testing my body…
HGH changed literally everything. i started at 4iu btw, ran that until Aug(9months), when I went to 10, then mid way thru the cut I went to 14
So 4 > 10 > 14 > 20
No matter the calories i eat (none) I still look full 24/7, and dare I say slight size…. But that might just me getting in my head.
I ran more to see if the lipolysis properties are more pronounced.
I do not believe I could have did what I did without the HGH, 60 down in 3 months.. anyone can say it wasn’t healthy but mentally at 260 I was done.
Day in day out I was done.
Sure, Im depressed these days, for reasons, but its different, not the same.


I just need to finish this to be happy. I need this.

Ive cut too many times and given up because Im a loser, this has been the closest I have ever been by magnitudes

Im scratching at anything that gives me even the tiniest bit of advantage.

Which is shit to say, Im a fucking failure because I could only do this with drugs.

I need to leave,
I can’t be here right now
 
You are not a failure.
If you are, everyone else here is, too.
The ones that make a living out of this are, too.
You know it is not like that.

You are making this public, so people will question you.
Your rationale, in this instance.
It was better when there was nobody around looking at this, wasn't it?

Rek, no-one is judging you.
Nobody would ever call you what you call yourself.
We are all on the same fucked up boat.

You say this will make you happy.
As long as you do not hurt yourself, I am happy and so is everyone else.
That's all.
 
Since some people wanted a little more info..

I wake up 6am everyday and pin my test/tren and HGH then fast til 10 ish
Test c is 250mg/day
Tren is… (iris look away) currently 200mg/day
HGH is vial daily, so 14iu.
I also take half an adex with test C and 50mg t4.

My first meal is my shake
Which is 480 ml whole milk, 5/6 scoops of transparent labs
1,080 calories
194 Protein

Last 2 days has been the same, I will then wait til after the gym around 4-5 and get chickflia
Chicken sandwitch and 8 nuggies, no sauce. Large diet coke and water.
670 Calories
56 Protein

Total
1,750 calories
250 Protein

5pm on I eat nothing. Generally Ill do hotel cardio around 7pm, which i just started.

I've gone through the process of losing ~70lbs and I know the level of consistency, dedication, and work it takes everyday. Especially the part about changing all your habits and your way of thinking and such. I always cheer people on who are on that path. You're doing great man. Excellent work and keep it up!

What is concerning is the doses of drugs that you lay out here. Those doses are completely unnecessary and you are doing a lot of damage to your health for not much benefit. You could use WAY less and get the same result. Health is a limited resource over your lifespan and you are burning it up fast right now. All those drugs are not helping you with your goal, but they are harming you probably a lot more than you realize.

It's also concerning that you say higher doses make you feel good so you keep upping the dose. This sounds like your building an addiction to AAS. Obviously you're going to do what you're going to do, but I think you're on a really dangerous road right now.


Dosages are gonna depend on the individual's goals, timeline, and risk aversion. So the following statements come with that huge caveat. I am very conservative with PED use, some individuals may be able to tolerate/benefit from significantly more than I am without disproportionately impacting their health.

I dont know OPs training or ped history, but if he was a client of mine, going off of current physique alone id be starting things in the 300-500 test, 200-300 mast, 3-4iu gh mark.
This is after we lock in training and nutrition.

The protocol BigTomJ has laid out here is more than reasonable and it's probably on the higher end of reasonable. 300 test and the GH is more than enough for losing fat and building a bit at the same time.

Your progress is great and I'm still cheering you on, but I hope you think about the long-term a bit more. If you want to hit those high muscle mass numbers and low body fat like you've stated, don't you want to be able to do that for an extended period of time to enjoy it? If you ruin your health the game's over. You'll be off of all AAS and you won't even be able to live the life you want. Not worth it dude. You really should consider dropping the Tren and dropping the doses way down.
 
HGH changed literally everything. i started at 4iu btw, ran that until Aug(9months), when I went to 10, then mid way thru the cut I went to 14
So 4 > 10 > 14 > 20
No matter the calories i eat (none) I still look full 24/7, and dare I say slight size….
No matter the calories?
Are you tracking?
Im scratching at anything that gives me even the tiniest bit of advantage.
This leads to the same question, since you will try anything that gives you even the tiniest bit of advantage. Are you tracking your macros?

I am struggling to find anything about your diet while skimming through the thread.
 
Well, other than Diet Coke.


Congratulations on losing about 60 pounds since August 1. That is a lot of weight for 3.5 months.
 
No matter the calories?
Are you tracking?

This leads to the same question, since you will try anything that gives you even the tiniest bit of advantage. Are you tracking your macros?

I am struggling to find anything about your diet while skimming through the thread.


He listed his diet a few pages ago:

My first meal is my shake
Which is 480 ml whole milk, 5/6 scoops of transparent labs
1,080 calories
194 Protein

Last 2 days has been the same, I will then wait til after the gym around 4-5 and get chickflia
Chicken sandwitch and 8 nuggies, no sauce. Large diet coke and water.
670 Calories
56 Protein

Total
1,750 calories
250 Protein

5pm on I eat nothing. Generally Ill do hotel cardio around 7pm, which i just started.
 
No matter the calories?
Are you tracking?

This leads to the same question, since you will try anything that gives you even the tiniest bit of advantage. Are you tracking your macros?

I am struggling to find anything about your diet while skimming through the thread.
I think he has written about what he eats.
From what I know, though, things may be/have been not straightforward, with regards to this, because he has been based in a hotel and travelling for work.
So, he is doing what he can
 
No matter the calories?
Are you tracking?

This leads to the same question, since you will try anything that gives you even the tiniest bit of advantage. Are you tracking your macros?

I am struggling to find anything about your diet while skimming through the thread.
Yes I am tracking, generally I stay around 1500 ish and protein focused
As Iris, the Rektest office assistant, mentioned, I travel and stay in hotels so what I can do, food wise, is limited but I make do.

The no matter the calories was meant, Ive cut naturally without anything, and you look flat as fuck.. HGH I can literally fast a day and still look full, like Im not even on a cut.
 
He listed his diet a few pages ago:

My first meal is my shake
Which is 480 ml whole milk, 5/6 scoops of transparent labs
1,080 calories
194 Protein

Last 2 days has been the same, I will then wait til after the gym around 4-5 and get chickflia
Chicken sandwitch and 8 nuggies, no sauce. Large diet coke and water.
670 Calories
56 Protein

Total
1,750 calories
250 Protein

5pm on I eat nothing. Generally Ill do hotel cardio around 7pm, which i just started.
Geez. Rektest, why do you write things like "Im scratching at anything that gives me even the tiniest bit of advantage," but your diet is one shake and fast food?

Diet is the biggest advantage you can have. You are overlooking the big things for the little things.

What I mean is this - a good body building type cutting diet will have so much more effect than this continual increasing of hgh.

I mean, I do not care what you are doing for hgh. I am not particularly bothered by the amount you are doing. But you say you will do anything that gives you the tiniest advantage while completely skipping the one thing that is a HUGE ADVANTAGE.
 
The no matter the calories was meant, Ive cut naturally without anything, and you look flat as fuck.. HGH I can literally fast a day and still look full, like Im not even on a cut.
Yeah, it does that, but I get that effect on 3 iu.

What is 20iu doing?
 
Yes I am tracking, generally I stay around 1500 ish and protein focused
As Iris, the Rektest office assistant, mentioned, I travel and stay in hotels so what I can do, food wise, is limited but I make do.
Meal prep.

Cooler.

Fridge in the hotel.

Come on, man.

Somehow you get your hgh along for the hotel trip.

Get your diet along, too.
 
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