MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Trump Timeline ... Trumpocalypse
- Thread starter CdnGuy
- Start date
TP AMERICA
TP America
Funny thing. When Donald Trump picked Mike Pence as his running mate, the first Trump/Pence logo involved the initials “TP.” This was probably decided by the same idiots who created the Tea Party and were totally surprised they acquired the nickname “teabaggers.” And then totally surprised to learn what a “teabagger” was (I had to explain it to an editor. In case you’re a Republican and still don’t know, it means “buddy” which is how you should greet each of your fucknut friends from now on. They’ll appreciate the greeting, “Hey, teabagger,” and probably thank you). After being mocked, ridiculed, and having someone explain why to them, the campaign changed the shitty (no pun intended) “TP” logo and removed the initials. The real irony is that Trump and Pence can’t even deliver TP to us.
When I was a teenager, my friends and I engaged in TPing. In case you weren’t a teenager, that’s when someone covers your entire yard and probably your home too in toilet paper. It’s even worse if it rains. It’s mostly a harmless prank that really annoys the homeowner because it’s a lot easier to put toilet paper in tree branches than it is to get it out. And, if they have a kid, he or she is the one who cleans it up. That’s because a home usually isn’t TP’ed unless there’s a kid in the house. Kids don’t pick random houses to TP. Sometimes, they hit the home of someone they don’t like but usually, it’s a home of someone they do like. It’s either a friend or a crush. Once, after TPing a few houses, we hit the house of one of our partners in TPing crime after he thought we were done (Our fake surprise the next morning should have won us Oscars. If he’s reading this now, he’s like, “I knew it!”). If your home ever gets TP’ed and you don’t have a kid then you just seriously pissed off some neighbors and should probably move and start over. Another explanation might be you’ve planted Trump/Pence signs in your yard, in which case there were probably eggs and burning bags of poo involved also.
Now, instead of getting in trouble for “rolling” someone’s yard, you might be thanked.
A lot of Trump supporters are still telling us the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax and conspiracy to hurt Donald Trump because everything in the world that’s bad is out to get them because old white guys are the most persecuted people in the history of dumbass history. And, a lot of people who aren’t Trump supporters agree with them that people are overreacting.
They think everyone’s freaking out by purchasing and hoarding hand sanitizer, bread, water and of course, toilet paper. And yeah, everyone is kinda freaking with all the hoarding.
Last Wednesday, I was talking to a friend about it and later went to a grocery store in my neighborhood. I texted her to say the store hadn’t been hit that hard yet and she still had time to buy some TP. Because I’m one of those people that goes to the store nearly every day for some small insignificant item, I was back on Thursday and this time, the shelves were wiped out (no pun intended). I was at a Wal-Mart Saturday night getting some junk for my apartment and saw they were wiped out there as well (but they did have $3.00 laundry hampers).
So you may remain rational and think, “Well, I’m not going to lose my mind and run to the store and buy and hoard all the toilet paper,” but then you think that because everyone else has lost their freaking minds buying toilet paper means you won’t have any if this crisis carries on too long, so you freak out, lose your mind, and run to the store to buy and hoard toilet paper. Laura, one of my proofreaders, told me this morning, while not proofreading this wordless cartoon, that a friend of hers has decided TP is the new “craptocurrency” and he calls it “shitcoin.”
When I was in the store last Wednesday and I saw it on the shelves, I didn’t buy any. I had at least five rolls at home and thought that I’ll be OK. But when I saw the shelves empty the next day, I thought, “oh shit.” Pun intended. So, I went to the 7-11 replacement convenience store near my home (that means it replaced a 7-11 which pisses you off because the new store doesn’t have nachos and taquitos, and if you’ve never had a 7-11 taquito then you’re not living right and probably have plenty of toilet paper) and found five individual rolls there for $1.50 a-piece. I bought all five rolls. Bring it, pandemic! Never mind. Please don’t bring it.
I’ve never been mugged but I was was very protective and wary of my surroundings while walking home with those five rolls of Scott. Later, I went back to the store for something else and the nice lady who owns the place told me she had more toilet paper in stock, which means she now sees me as the toilet paper guy and I’m going to have to make a more memorable purchase to erase that nickname. I’m looking forward to being the 15 boxes of Trojans and Monster energy drink guy.
Now, paper towels and napkins are flying off the shelves too. I even read that some people are stealing all the napkins at Taco Bells. If they’re using them for what I think they’re using them for, that’s some real irony.
Overreacting is a hell of a lot better than whatever the hell it was the Trump administration did to prepare for the pandemic. Again, these are the same idiots who didn’t foresee being mocked for using the “TP” initials or that they were going to be called “teabaggers.” Which, again, if you’re a Trump supporter, is a compliment. Use it on your friends. Please.
But here’s the thing, America. An overreaction is better than an underreaction. If anything, We, as in our nation’s leadership (sic) totally underestimated this virus. We were not prepared for a pandemic to begin with, but the reaction from the Trump administration made it worse. If this doesn’t become as bad as many people are speculating, critics, especially Facebook “experts” will say we overreacted as it wasn’t that bad. But maybe it’s our reaction that prevented it from being worse. Of course with Trump’s reaction, it got worse than it ever should have been.
On another note, if you do visit bars and/or restaurants during this pandemic, tip a little more than usual. We are in this together and should be looking out for each other. People who work in the service industry will be the first to feel this. Be nice. Even you Republicans. Try to be nice.
And this just in: Right before I clicked “publish” on this blog, the manager of my local Starbucks (OK, I’m here too much), sat down near me (not too close and we did the elbow greeting) to tell me all their stores in the U.S. and Canada will remain open, but their dining area will be closed. What this means is, you can still go to Starbucks and buy stuff but you can’t stay. You can’t sit around and hang out.
Be safe and look out for each other.
TP America
Funny thing. When Donald Trump picked Mike Pence as his running mate, the first Trump/Pence logo involved the initials “TP.” This was probably decided by the same idiots who created the Tea Party and were totally surprised they acquired the nickname “teabaggers.” And then totally surprised to learn what a “teabagger” was (I had to explain it to an editor. In case you’re a Republican and still don’t know, it means “buddy” which is how you should greet each of your fucknut friends from now on. They’ll appreciate the greeting, “Hey, teabagger,” and probably thank you). After being mocked, ridiculed, and having someone explain why to them, the campaign changed the shitty (no pun intended) “TP” logo and removed the initials. The real irony is that Trump and Pence can’t even deliver TP to us.
When I was a teenager, my friends and I engaged in TPing. In case you weren’t a teenager, that’s when someone covers your entire yard and probably your home too in toilet paper. It’s even worse if it rains. It’s mostly a harmless prank that really annoys the homeowner because it’s a lot easier to put toilet paper in tree branches than it is to get it out. And, if they have a kid, he or she is the one who cleans it up. That’s because a home usually isn’t TP’ed unless there’s a kid in the house. Kids don’t pick random houses to TP. Sometimes, they hit the home of someone they don’t like but usually, it’s a home of someone they do like. It’s either a friend or a crush. Once, after TPing a few houses, we hit the house of one of our partners in TPing crime after he thought we were done (Our fake surprise the next morning should have won us Oscars. If he’s reading this now, he’s like, “I knew it!”). If your home ever gets TP’ed and you don’t have a kid then you just seriously pissed off some neighbors and should probably move and start over. Another explanation might be you’ve planted Trump/Pence signs in your yard, in which case there were probably eggs and burning bags of poo involved also.
Now, instead of getting in trouble for “rolling” someone’s yard, you might be thanked.
A lot of Trump supporters are still telling us the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax and conspiracy to hurt Donald Trump because everything in the world that’s bad is out to get them because old white guys are the most persecuted people in the history of dumbass history. And, a lot of people who aren’t Trump supporters agree with them that people are overreacting.
They think everyone’s freaking out by purchasing and hoarding hand sanitizer, bread, water and of course, toilet paper. And yeah, everyone is kinda freaking with all the hoarding.
Last Wednesday, I was talking to a friend about it and later went to a grocery store in my neighborhood. I texted her to say the store hadn’t been hit that hard yet and she still had time to buy some TP. Because I’m one of those people that goes to the store nearly every day for some small insignificant item, I was back on Thursday and this time, the shelves were wiped out (no pun intended). I was at a Wal-Mart Saturday night getting some junk for my apartment and saw they were wiped out there as well (but they did have $3.00 laundry hampers).
So you may remain rational and think, “Well, I’m not going to lose my mind and run to the store and buy and hoard all the toilet paper,” but then you think that because everyone else has lost their freaking minds buying toilet paper means you won’t have any if this crisis carries on too long, so you freak out, lose your mind, and run to the store to buy and hoard toilet paper. Laura, one of my proofreaders, told me this morning, while not proofreading this wordless cartoon, that a friend of hers has decided TP is the new “craptocurrency” and he calls it “shitcoin.”
When I was in the store last Wednesday and I saw it on the shelves, I didn’t buy any. I had at least five rolls at home and thought that I’ll be OK. But when I saw the shelves empty the next day, I thought, “oh shit.” Pun intended. So, I went to the 7-11 replacement convenience store near my home (that means it replaced a 7-11 which pisses you off because the new store doesn’t have nachos and taquitos, and if you’ve never had a 7-11 taquito then you’re not living right and probably have plenty of toilet paper) and found five individual rolls there for $1.50 a-piece. I bought all five rolls. Bring it, pandemic! Never mind. Please don’t bring it.
I’ve never been mugged but I was was very protective and wary of my surroundings while walking home with those five rolls of Scott. Later, I went back to the store for something else and the nice lady who owns the place told me she had more toilet paper in stock, which means she now sees me as the toilet paper guy and I’m going to have to make a more memorable purchase to erase that nickname. I’m looking forward to being the 15 boxes of Trojans and Monster energy drink guy.
Now, paper towels and napkins are flying off the shelves too. I even read that some people are stealing all the napkins at Taco Bells. If they’re using them for what I think they’re using them for, that’s some real irony.
Overreacting is a hell of a lot better than whatever the hell it was the Trump administration did to prepare for the pandemic. Again, these are the same idiots who didn’t foresee being mocked for using the “TP” initials or that they were going to be called “teabaggers.” Which, again, if you’re a Trump supporter, is a compliment. Use it on your friends. Please.
But here’s the thing, America. An overreaction is better than an underreaction. If anything, We, as in our nation’s leadership (sic) totally underestimated this virus. We were not prepared for a pandemic to begin with, but the reaction from the Trump administration made it worse. If this doesn’t become as bad as many people are speculating, critics, especially Facebook “experts” will say we overreacted as it wasn’t that bad. But maybe it’s our reaction that prevented it from being worse. Of course with Trump’s reaction, it got worse than it ever should have been.
On another note, if you do visit bars and/or restaurants during this pandemic, tip a little more than usual. We are in this together and should be looking out for each other. People who work in the service industry will be the first to feel this. Be nice. Even you Republicans. Try to be nice.
And this just in: Right before I clicked “publish” on this blog, the manager of my local Starbucks (OK, I’m here too much), sat down near me (not too close and we did the elbow greeting) to tell me all their stores in the U.S. and Canada will remain open, but their dining area will be closed. What this means is, you can still go to Starbucks and buy stuff but you can’t stay. You can’t sit around and hang out.
Be safe and look out for each other.
CORONA CLOSURE
Corona Closure
I don’t have much to add to this so I’m going to give you a little treat. Someone commented under someone else’s reshare of one of my cartoons. What he did was provide a timeline of quotes by Donald Trump on the coronavirus. I loved it. I’ll reshare that here for you. Here we go.
January 22: “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China. It’s going to be just fine.”
February 2: “We pretty much shut it down coming in from China.”
February 24: “The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA… Stock Market starting to look very good to me!”
February 25: “CDC and my Administration are doing a GREAT job of handling coronavirus.”
February 25: “I think that’s a problem that’s going to go away… They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we’re very close to a vaccine.”
February 26: “The 15 (cases in the US) within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero.”
February 26: “We’re going very substantially down, not up.”
February 27: “One day it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.”
February 28: “We’re ordering a lot of supplies. We’re ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn’t be ordering unless it was something like this. But we’re ordering a lot of different elements of medical.”
March 2: “You take a solid flu vaccine, you don’t think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?”
March 2: “A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they’re happening very rapidly.”
March 4: “If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work — some of them go to work, but they get better.”
March 5: “I NEVER said people that are feeling sick should go to work.”
March 5: “The United States… has, as of now, only 129 cases… and 11 deaths. We are working very hard to keep these numbers as low as possible!”
March 6: “I think we’re doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down.”
March 6: “Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. They’re there. And the tests are beautiful…. the tests are all perfect like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good.”
March 6: “I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it… Every one of these doctors said, ‘How do you know so much about this?’ Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president.”
March 6: “I don’t need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn’t our fault.”
March 8: “We have a perfectly coordinated and fine-tuned plan at the White House for our attack on coronavirus.”
March 9: “This blindsided the world.”
March 9: “The Fake News Media and their partner, the Democrat Party, is doing everything within its semi-considerable power (it used to be greater!) to inflame the coronavirus situation, far beyond what the facts would warrant.”
March 10: “It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away.”
March 13: “I don’t take responsibility at all.”
March 13: National Emergency Declaration
Corona Closure
I don’t have much to add to this so I’m going to give you a little treat. Someone commented under someone else’s reshare of one of my cartoons. What he did was provide a timeline of quotes by Donald Trump on the coronavirus. I loved it. I’ll reshare that here for you. Here we go.
January 22: “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China. It’s going to be just fine.”
February 2: “We pretty much shut it down coming in from China.”
February 24: “The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA… Stock Market starting to look very good to me!”
February 25: “CDC and my Administration are doing a GREAT job of handling coronavirus.”
February 25: “I think that’s a problem that’s going to go away… They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we’re very close to a vaccine.”
February 26: “The 15 (cases in the US) within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero.”
February 26: “We’re going very substantially down, not up.”
February 27: “One day it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.”
February 28: “We’re ordering a lot of supplies. We’re ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn’t be ordering unless it was something like this. But we’re ordering a lot of different elements of medical.”
March 2: “You take a solid flu vaccine, you don’t think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?”
March 2: “A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they’re happening very rapidly.”
March 4: “If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work — some of them go to work, but they get better.”
March 5: “I NEVER said people that are feeling sick should go to work.”
March 5: “The United States… has, as of now, only 129 cases… and 11 deaths. We are working very hard to keep these numbers as low as possible!”
March 6: “I think we’re doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down.”
March 6: “Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. They’re there. And the tests are beautiful…. the tests are all perfect like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good.”
March 6: “I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it… Every one of these doctors said, ‘How do you know so much about this?’ Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president.”
March 6: “I don’t need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn’t our fault.”
March 8: “We have a perfectly coordinated and fine-tuned plan at the White House for our attack on coronavirus.”
March 9: “This blindsided the world.”
March 9: “The Fake News Media and their partner, the Democrat Party, is doing everything within its semi-considerable power (it used to be greater!) to inflame the coronavirus situation, far beyond what the facts would warrant.”
March 10: “It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away.”
March 13: “I don’t take responsibility at all.”
March 13: National Emergency Declaration
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." - George Orwell, "1984"
Similar threads
