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MAGA FUNNY
MAGA Funny
I used to think conservatives were funny. Now, they’re only funny inadvertently. The basis for all Republican humor, especially for those in the Trump cult, is cruelty.
Republicans think it’s hilarious to put immigrant children in cages. They laughed their asses off when Border Patrol agents destroy jugs of water left for immigrants in the desert. They love cracks at the appearance of an elderly woman if that woman is a Democrat. When Donald Trump calls a woman “nasty,” entire arenas roar. Those arenas aren’t as full as they were, but still. “Send them back” still slays ’em.
MAGAts love cruel humor because they’re cruel people themselves. There are two qualifications to be a Trump supporter: You have to be OK with racism and you have to be an asshole. That comes pretty easy for Trump supporters because it’s the cruelty and racism that appeals to them. Try this test: Ask any one of them to explain details of any Trump position. Nine times out of ten, the answer will contain the word “Obama.”
During Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally that was a huge flop, he said he told his people to slow down testing for the coronavirus. The audience ate it up and laughed their balls off…even the female Trump supporters (though to be fair, I hear most of them shave their balls). Later, his campaign fucknuts said he was just joking.
Really? Joking about testing on a pandemic that’s killed over 120,000 Americans? Joking about a virus that would have killed fewer people if Donald Trump had confronted the crisis early on instead of downplaying it like he’s still doing? Joking about testing for a virus when testing saves lives? Yeah, that’s hilarious. H’yuk, h’yuk, h’yuk.
Now, Donald Trump says he wasn’t joking. The joke here that’s hilarious is this White House can’t even get on the same page over something stupid like, more testing leads to more cases. See? Inadvertently funny.
Also during his racist rally, Donald Trump said the coronavirus has more names than any other disease and he could name 19 of them. He only named one and it was “Kung flu.” That is a racist term and surely his crowd would strongly disapprove such a racist slur…who am I kidding? They loved it.
Later, KayLeigh McEnany, the new and improved White House spokesgoon, decided to blame the media for Donald Trump’s slur. Her argument was, we need to focus on where the virus came from and not Trump’s use of a racist slur. Months ago, Another White House goon, Kellyanne Conway got angry at a reporter for stating a source in the administration had used the same slur. Kellyanne demanded to know who said it. She was indignant with anger. The outrage. It’s impossible. Now we know who said it. I for one hope Kellyanne takes her anger over the slur out on the president (sic).
Yesterday, a noose was found hanging in the garage for Bubba Wallace, NASCAR’s only black driver. It was in his team’s garage at the race in Talladega, Alabama. Now, Donald Trump hasn’t said or tweeted anything about that, but he did retweet some racist videos last night. And, I saw some MAGAts speculating this was another Jussie Smollett situation that’s fake and generated by liberals because it’s preposterous to believe someone would hang a noose in a black guy’s garage in Alabama. I’m sure they won’t apologize after the offender is found and captured. He will be found. And, he will be a Trump supporter.
Do you know why all good comedians are liberal? Because you have to be smart to be funny…or at least good at it. Idiots don’t make good comedians…or political cartoonists. Over the past two weeks, there were three issues over racist political cartoons with newspapers apologizing and editors resigning. None of those cartoons were funny unless you love racist humor. Conservatives don’t understand humor, irony, hypocrisy, or anything more complex than, “ramp slippery, me fall down.” But as I said, Republicans are inadvertently funny. Let’s list some examples.
Matt Gaetz lives with a 19-year-old man. OK, that’s more creepy than funny. Maybe it’s just Matt Gaetz’s face that’s funny. He kinda looks like an asshole Matt Damon but uglier. Also, ew and that kid’s going to write a book someday.
Another example of inadvertently funny is Jim Jordan. OK, again. Maybe it’s just his face. Real funny is Ted Cruz picking a fight with Hell Boy…for Jim Jordan to fight. And of course, Ted Cruz’s face.
I’ll list a few better examples. When Donald Trump holds a glass with two hands and he purses his lips like he has super sucking power that’ll bring that water to his mouth without touching the glass, that’s hilarious. When he took forever to walk down that ramp…that was just stupid funny. The other walk he took, after his Tulsa rally, where his tie is undone and his orange makeup is splotched all over his color, Fufreakinghilarious.
Oh, yeah, remember that time they boasted about having a million people registering for tickets to a hate rally in Tulsa and only 6,200 showed up? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Remember them tearing down the stage for the overflow crowd because there wasn’t an overflow crowd? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Funny, funny, funny. Tim Allen should be writing this shit down. He can do those man grunts with it if that helps sell the joke.
What could Dennis Miller do with an empty Trump hate rally? Let me try: That rally was emptier than a theater showing cats if all the cats were racist cats wearing MAGA hats. OK, I can’t do a Dennis Miller, or I need more time and I want to publish this blog.
Another example of Republicans being inadvertently funny: Donald Trump probably wears a diaper. Alright, maybe some of our humor is cruel too. But, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
But it’s OK if your humor is cruel when you’re making fun of racist assholes.
MAGA Funny
I used to think conservatives were funny. Now, they’re only funny inadvertently. The basis for all Republican humor, especially for those in the Trump cult, is cruelty.
Republicans think it’s hilarious to put immigrant children in cages. They laughed their asses off when Border Patrol agents destroy jugs of water left for immigrants in the desert. They love cracks at the appearance of an elderly woman if that woman is a Democrat. When Donald Trump calls a woman “nasty,” entire arenas roar. Those arenas aren’t as full as they were, but still. “Send them back” still slays ’em.
MAGAts love cruel humor because they’re cruel people themselves. There are two qualifications to be a Trump supporter: You have to be OK with racism and you have to be an asshole. That comes pretty easy for Trump supporters because it’s the cruelty and racism that appeals to them. Try this test: Ask any one of them to explain details of any Trump position. Nine times out of ten, the answer will contain the word “Obama.”
During Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally that was a huge flop, he said he told his people to slow down testing for the coronavirus. The audience ate it up and laughed their balls off…even the female Trump supporters (though to be fair, I hear most of them shave their balls). Later, his campaign fucknuts said he was just joking.
Really? Joking about testing on a pandemic that’s killed over 120,000 Americans? Joking about a virus that would have killed fewer people if Donald Trump had confronted the crisis early on instead of downplaying it like he’s still doing? Joking about testing for a virus when testing saves lives? Yeah, that’s hilarious. H’yuk, h’yuk, h’yuk.
Now, Donald Trump says he wasn’t joking. The joke here that’s hilarious is this White House can’t even get on the same page over something stupid like, more testing leads to more cases. See? Inadvertently funny.
Also during his racist rally, Donald Trump said the coronavirus has more names than any other disease and he could name 19 of them. He only named one and it was “Kung flu.” That is a racist term and surely his crowd would strongly disapprove such a racist slur…who am I kidding? They loved it.
Later, KayLeigh McEnany, the new and improved White House spokesgoon, decided to blame the media for Donald Trump’s slur. Her argument was, we need to focus on where the virus came from and not Trump’s use of a racist slur. Months ago, Another White House goon, Kellyanne Conway got angry at a reporter for stating a source in the administration had used the same slur. Kellyanne demanded to know who said it. She was indignant with anger. The outrage. It’s impossible. Now we know who said it. I for one hope Kellyanne takes her anger over the slur out on the president (sic).
Yesterday, a noose was found hanging in the garage for Bubba Wallace, NASCAR’s only black driver. It was in his team’s garage at the race in Talladega, Alabama. Now, Donald Trump hasn’t said or tweeted anything about that, but he did retweet some racist videos last night. And, I saw some MAGAts speculating this was another Jussie Smollett situation that’s fake and generated by liberals because it’s preposterous to believe someone would hang a noose in a black guy’s garage in Alabama. I’m sure they won’t apologize after the offender is found and captured. He will be found. And, he will be a Trump supporter.
Do you know why all good comedians are liberal? Because you have to be smart to be funny…or at least good at it. Idiots don’t make good comedians…or political cartoonists. Over the past two weeks, there were three issues over racist political cartoons with newspapers apologizing and editors resigning. None of those cartoons were funny unless you love racist humor. Conservatives don’t understand humor, irony, hypocrisy, or anything more complex than, “ramp slippery, me fall down.” But as I said, Republicans are inadvertently funny. Let’s list some examples.
Matt Gaetz lives with a 19-year-old man. OK, that’s more creepy than funny. Maybe it’s just Matt Gaetz’s face that’s funny. He kinda looks like an asshole Matt Damon but uglier. Also, ew and that kid’s going to write a book someday.
Another example of inadvertently funny is Jim Jordan. OK, again. Maybe it’s just his face. Real funny is Ted Cruz picking a fight with Hell Boy…for Jim Jordan to fight. And of course, Ted Cruz’s face.
I’ll list a few better examples. When Donald Trump holds a glass with two hands and he purses his lips like he has super sucking power that’ll bring that water to his mouth without touching the glass, that’s hilarious. When he took forever to walk down that ramp…that was just stupid funny. The other walk he took, after his Tulsa rally, where his tie is undone and his orange makeup is splotched all over his color, Fufreakinghilarious.
Oh, yeah, remember that time they boasted about having a million people registering for tickets to a hate rally in Tulsa and only 6,200 showed up? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Remember them tearing down the stage for the overflow crowd because there wasn’t an overflow crowd? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Funny, funny, funny. Tim Allen should be writing this shit down. He can do those man grunts with it if that helps sell the joke.
What could Dennis Miller do with an empty Trump hate rally? Let me try: That rally was emptier than a theater showing cats if all the cats were racist cats wearing MAGA hats. OK, I can’t do a Dennis Miller, or I need more time and I want to publish this blog.
Another example of Republicans being inadvertently funny: Donald Trump probably wears a diaper. Alright, maybe some of our humor is cruel too. But, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
But it’s OK if your humor is cruel when you’re making fun of racist assholes.
Graphs of the coronavirus curves in Britain, Canada, Germany and Italy look like mountains, with steep climbs up and then back down. The one for America shows a fast climb up to a plateau. For a while, the number of new cases in the U.S. was at least slowly declining. Now, according to The Times, it’s up a terrifying 22 percent over the last 14 days.
As Politico reported on Monday, Italy’s coronavirus catastrophe once looked to Americans like a worst-case scenario. Today, it said, “America’s new per capita cases remain on par with Italy’s worst day — and show signs of rising further.”
This is what American exceptionalism looks like under Donald Trump. It’s not just that the United States has the highest number of coronavirus cases and deaths of any country in the world. Republican political dysfunction has made a coherent campaign to fight the pandemic impossible.
At the federal level as well as in many states, we’re seeing a combination of the blustering contempt for science that marks the conservative approach to climate change and the high tolerance for carnage that makes American gun culture unique.
The rot starts at the top. At the beginning of the crisis Trump acted as if he could wish the coronavirus away, and after an interval when he at least pretended to take it seriously, his administration has resumed a posture of blithe denial.
In the early 20th century the American South was ravaged by pellagra, a nasty disease that produced the “four Ds” — dermatitis, diarrhea, dementia and death. At first, pellagra’s nature was uncertain, but by 1915 Dr. Joseph Goldberger, a Hungarian immigrant employed by the federal government, had conclusively shown that it was caused by nutritional deficiencies associated with poverty, and especially with a corn-based diet.
However, for decades many Southern citizens and politicians refused to accept this diagnosis, declaring either that the epidemic was a fiction created by Northerners to insult the South or that the nutritional theory was an attack on Southern culture. And deaths from pellagra continued to climb.
Sound familiar?
We’ve known for months what it takes to bring Covid-19 under control. You need a period of severe lockdown to reduce the disease’s prevalence. Only then can you reopen the economy — while maintaining social distancing as needed — and even then you need a regime of widespread testing, tracing and isolation of potentially infected individuals to keep the virus suppressed.
Most advanced countries have gone down this route. A few countries, like New Zealand and South Korea, have largely or completely defeated the coronavirus. The European Union, comparable in population and diversity to the United States, continues to record new cases of Covid-19, but at a far slower rate than at the pandemic’s peak in late March and early April.
But the United States is exceptional, in a very bad way. Our rate of new cases never declined all that much, because falling infection rates in the New York area were offset by flat or rising infections in the South and the West. Now cases are on the rise nationally and surging in such states as Arizona, Texas and Florida.
And no, reported infections aren’t rising just because we’re doing more testing; contra Donald Trump, we can’t solve this problem just by testing less. Other indicators, like the percentage of tests coming back positive and hospitalization rates, show that the Covid-19 surge is real.
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