Wanting What You Cant Have

[Oldschool]

...or at least on your terms. I'm lost and need someone to punch me in the face and wake me the fuck up to reality. Here's my situation I feel stuck in.

Man, where do I start. Ok, started dating this cool chick 2-1/2 years ago. She's a few years older than I. I'm in my 40's.

At first we hit it off great. Met some of her friends then 3 months into it I got pissed at her for being despondent and since I raised my voice at her, she dumped me. At that time I really didn't care. Wasn't all that in to her anyways.

A few days later I stop by to pick up my stuff. I ask if she just wants to be fuck buddies as the sex was great. She accepted. This was November 2016. Fast forward to now and we are still together, monogamous, but live our own separate lives. I've never met any of her friends since the arrangement and vice versa.

As time went on I asked her to be my girlfriend again. The answer was no. She liked things the way they were. I accepted as I have a busy life, am a single dad, and quite honestly it worked for me. She's always been kind, generous, 100% faithful to our agreement of not sleeping with others unless we talk first.

So over the past few months I've been wanting out. I want to be with someone that wants to do shit with me outside of the house. I want a real relationship. But for some damn reason haven't mustered up the courage to end it. Why is this so damned hard? She is rarely available as she has a demanding job and very full social life. I often make plans with her and she changes them to later a few hours before were supposed to get together. This is pissing me off greatly. I just say "yeah, whatever. Let me know when I can come fuck your brains out" and move on.

I think its time to put my foot down and end this shit. Today for example. We made plans lastnight to have dinner. I get a text an hour ago saying she forgot its her friends bday and they are going out for drinks and appetizers. Can we meet later at 8. She wont be hungry for dinner. I reply "Cool, have fun and text me when you're on your way home and I'll head over". As much as I wanted to tell her to go to hell I kept my cool. I don't argue over text.

Should I dump her ass, cancel tonight, or just let it go and enjoy the sex?

Let me give you some advice. What you think about you bring about. If you think your wife is going to cheat on you she probably will. I've been in a lot of relationships and I've never been cheated on. You might say all that bullshit.. Well I tend to find women that would do anything for me. And would never think twice about doing something like that. But hey who am I to say that she hasn't. I don't know. I've never cheated on her because it's just not my style. In this day and age that shits just too risky.

if a man has a cheating wife it's probably because he's not being the same man she fell in love with.. That's not always the case but sometimes men in relationships just get complacent. They stop being the man that the woman fell in love with in the beginning. It goes both ways .

Im confused. I thought you started this thread looking for advice? Now you are giving it? You and your fuck buddy should both consider contraception options and implement them aggressively.

 

[Rockclimber]

Let me give you some advice. What you think about you bring about. If you think your wife is going to cheat on you she probably will. I've been in a lot of relationships and I've never been cheated on. You might say all that bullshit.. Well I tend to find women that would do anything for me. And would never think twice about doing something like that. But hey who am I to say that she hasn't. I don't know. I've never cheated on her because it's just not my style. In this day and age that shits just too risky.

if a man has a cheating wife it's probably because he's not being the same man she fell in love with.. That's not always the case but sometimes men in relationships just get complacent. They stop being the man that the woman fell in love with in the beginning. It goes both ways .

What you say is correct. Many women cheat on their spouse because the spouse gets complacent. But that's not the only reason, there are a variety of reasons women cheat and statistically speaking 80% of female Affairs go unnoticed by the male partner. I am a bit confused though, you just said that you don't think she's cheated on you and you have not cheated on her. What does this mean? Earlier you said you were friends with benefits and now you're saying that you have not cheated on her? Have you two spoken about being a monogamous couple? A monogamous couple but friends only with benefits? I'm so terribly confused.

 

[Sven_Northman]

Im confused. I thought you started this thread looking for advice? Now you are giving it? You and your fuck buddy should both consider contraception options and implement them aggressively.

What the fuck does that matter? The thread evolved and I had something to say. Sorry Dad!

 

[Oldschool]

I'm lost and need someone to punch me in the face and wake me the fuck up to reality.

I'm your Huckleberry you pussy whipped ass. Go find you some new tail.

 

[johntt44]

Let me give you some advice. What you think about you bring about. If you think your wife is going to cheat on you she probably will. I've been in a lot of relationships and I've never been cheated on. You might say all that bullshit.. Well I tend to find women that would do anything for me. And would never think twice about doing something like that. But hey who am I to say that she hasn't. I don't know. I've never cheated on her because it's just not my style. In this day and age that shits just too risky.

if a man has a cheating wife it's probably because he's not being the same man she fell in love with.. That's not always the case but sometimes men in relationships just get complacent. They stop being the man that the woman fell in love with in the beginning. It goes both ways .

Exactly right. Complacency brings about boredom. People take each other for granted sometimes. There has to be some effort put forth by both parties. I've never been cheated on but that could just be luck of the draw for all I know.

 

[T-Bagger]

Tell her to kick rocks. Come chill with me. We'll go bowling. @Mac11wildcat is onboard too. We'll make it a boy's night out... Did that sound gay? How about a gentleman's excursion?

Gay af

 

[johntt44]

Gay af

Yeah I think "gentleman's excursion" is code for anal at the bath house. "Off the beaten path" "Nature retreat"

 

[johntt44]

Sorry, bored at work. Hahaha....

 

[MisterSuperGod]

Gay af

You're just mad because you weren't invited. Titter said you throw like a girl. i can't have you screwing up our potential action at the bowling alley.

Those large and lovely ladies need our attention. Sure they're 400 pounds and smell like aged cheese, but i still can't allow you to screw that up for us.

 

[johntt44]

You're just mad because you weren't invited. Titter said you throw like a girl. i can't have you screwing up our potential action at the bowling alley.

Those large and lovely ladies need our attention. Sure they're 400 pounds and smell like aged cheese, but i still can't allow you to screw that up for us.

Dont forget their beautiful cankles, like someone melted a candle in their bowling shoes. Fuck, I'm horny! Grrr....

 

[johntt44]

I remember getting a whiff of this fat lady on a scooter while waiting in line at fucking Wal mart. She smelled like unwashed ass, onions, and puke. How can someone not smell that!

 

[MisterSuperGod]

I remember getting a whiff of this fat lady on a scooter while waiting in line at fucking Wal mart. She smelled like unwashed ass, onions, and puke. How can someone not smell that!

Yeah, i've encountered a couple of those. If she lives like that, after awhile she would become nose blind to it. It wouldn't be as powerful of a stench to her because she smells it all day, every day and has grown accustomed to it.

The rest of us however, sure aren't.

 

[Dr JIM]

A gal says sure to being a late nite poke, no to being a girlfriend, yet is ok with dinner out and monogamy WTF.

What did I miss here? Besides her 45 yr life history, number of kids, marriages,
occupation, life passions, number of jobs in the past ten years, number sexual partners, etc since ALL can impact how we define a relationship/s w others.

Sounds like SHE is being cautious and perhaps for good reason considering her age and response to your yelling, in that she may have been exposed and a part of a “blower and goer” husband. And IF that led to a divorce ,,,, that’s something
few women wanna repeat.

Nonetheless at this point she may be playing you for a number of reasons, so let me suggest you insist she define the confines of this relationship by ignoring ALL her attempts of communication, to include but are not limited to NOT responding to ANY of her TXT messages., phone calls, emails, drive bys or do drop ins for NO LESS than ONE MONTH!

Betcha neither of you “last” that long
but I hope it’s her for your sake bc she may not be worthy of catching in or out of the hay stack fella.

I mean at least this will help determine how serious either of you are IMO.

Good luck

JIM

 

[Dr JIM]

IDK about her per se BUT the evidence, and there’s a plethora of it, shows women want and need a man who is confident and in control but not CONTROLLING.

And a man who blows his top has lost control and has allowed his emotions
rather than sound judgement to rule the day.

It’s one thing to become upset and yell at circumstances beyond our reach but
some women can be very sensitive to almost any form of yelling and interpret it emotionally as a personal attack.

It’s an area many men fail to recognize
as a potential fault that can be particularly unsettling to women who have been exposed to family violence of any kind.

Jim

 

[Sven_Northman]

A gal says sure to being a late nite poke, no to being a girlfriend, yet is ok with dinner out and monogamy WTF.

What did I miss here? Besides her 45 yr life history, number of kids, marriages,
occupation, life passions, number of jobs in the past ten years, number sexual partners, etc since ALL can impact how we define a relationship/s w others.

Sounds like SHE is being cautious and perhaps for good reason considering her age and response to your yelling, in that she may have been exposed and a part of a “blower and goer” husband. And IF that led to a divorce ,,,, that’s something
few women wanna repeat.

Nonetheless at this point she may be playing you for a number of reasons, so let me suggest you insist she define the confines of this relationship by ignoring ALL her attempts of communication, to include but are not limited to NOT responding to ANY of her TXT messages., phone calls, emails, drive bys or do drop ins for NO LESS than ONE MONTH!

Betcha neither of you “last” that long
but I hope it’s her for your sake bc she may not be worthy of catching in or out of the hay stack fella.

I mean at least this will help determine how serious either of you are IMO.

Good luck

JIM

Thank you Jim. I appreciate your input. I raised my voice at her one time. That was almost three years ago. I have never done so since.

I'm not going to "ghost" her by ignoring her for a month. I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me.

 

[Dr JIM]

Thank you Jim. I appreciate your input. I raised my voice at her one time. That was almost three years ago. I have never done so since.

I'm not going to "ghost" her by ignoring her for a month. I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me.

Sounds like YOU wouldn’t last a week and based upon your posts, you respect her much more than she does you, (she cancels dinner the night of for friends WTF) and that makes you a prime target as a guy who can be toyed with.

In fact the symbolism of this thread WANTING WHAT YOU CANT HAVE, is also prophetic

As you wish.

Good luck

 

[Sven_Northman]

Sounds like YOU wouldn’t last a week and based upon your posts, you respect her much more than she does you, (she cancels dinner the night of for friends WTF) and that makes you a prime target as a guy who can be toyed with.

In fact the symbolism of this thread WANTING WHAT YOU CANT HAVE, is also prophetic

As you wish.

Good luck

You are 100% correct. She does not respect me as much as I her. We will be getting together tonight hopefully and I will be having a talk with her about ending this. I've been over it for a while. It wont be easy, but its just not worth compromising myself anymore.

 

[T-Bagger]

You are 100% correct. She does not respect me as much as I her. We will be getting together tonight hopefully and I will be having a talk with her about ending this. I've been over it for a while. It wont be easy, but its just not worth compromising myself anymore.

You sure you’re over it? If you were over it, there would be no inner conflict.

 

[Demondosage]

Remember the deal with War machine and Kristy Mack? The guy who got beaten and strangled damn near death was a guy in bed with a slut who was still in contact with a crazy motherfucker. I would steer clear of drama if possible, too many females in the world to be with a married bitch

 

[Rockclimber]

Any updates @Sven_Northman how did the talk go?