Needing help from opiate recovery

[Loyal2AAS]

I agree with boomboomboom, definitely dont want to do recovery alone, (I- get high! WE stay clean..) you dont have to go thru this alone--- i use gear and i am in NA...The disease of addiction is a beast, but in recovery i have learned how to cage that beast, and LIVE!!! FREEDOM, you never have to use again. I also take bipolar meds, i was a MESS for years. People were tired of me,and i was tired of me.Man i see people all the time that are like Damn dude you look great, man i thought you would be dead-Recovery and the people in recovery help me save me everyday... If i can do it, I know you can do it. If you need anything- PM me bro.

I just wanted to give you credit BigPharma. I never thought Id see someone put the 12th step into action on here. Its a beautiful thing, and it just goes to show the program makes our world smaller, in a sense that we can find each other anywhere.
You did good brother. Keep Coming!

 

[Loyal2AAS]

Thank everyone for the replies so far. I do plan on getting blood work done to get a baseline of my levels. Which I will share once it is done, hopefully soon. Should of stated that. Also I know lack of sex drive and intensity is not a direct correlation to low T. I was speaking more from experience of previous cycle use without any PCT and how I felt the month or so afterwords. So from that is where I was coming from in my assumption of low T. Through out my year long use of opiates I have never stopped working out, Ive been through this situation once before and got clean another bit of info I get my assumption. Appreciate everyone for being positive and advice that has been given. Although I am new to this forum, I can tell this is the right place to go. Very open minded people, and don't pass judgement. So for that thanks. Keep the replies coming, I will look into NA and other avenues of help. Thanks guys.

As stated in my thread headline,I am in process of trying to get my Test back up from long opiate use. Would call me a mild opiate addict, I know my hormones are way down. Just judging my sex drive, like of drive and intensity in the gym. Lack of intensity at the gym and sex drive are the things bothering the most. Add bi polar depression into the mix, I am in a bad place. Like to get some info, advice, and answer some questions. Right now I am taking 5000 Iu vitamin D, Dhea, and D aspartic acid to help boost my levels. I been trying to get some gear locally here in Tn but prices are absolutely ridiculous. Been researching the online route but I am apprehensive, thinking about going with PharmacomStore.in and int.basicstero.net and like to get some advice on the process, or someone suggest something else here in the US. If anyone read all this thank you,be free to private message me about the process of ordering from either one I listed or anything else. Once again thank you for reading and stay strong if anyone else suffering from low test from addiction.

This subject hits close to home for me. I was an active opiate addict for 11 years. Just a little over a year ago I took myself off suboxone maintenance that Id been on for about 5 years. I finally decided to come off the subs for similar reasons you discussed like low test levels and the problems that come along with it. But the main reason I decided to kick is because I got strung out on the subs too. In the beginning they worked great, but just like with every other opiate or opiod substance, I developed a tolerance and was no longer getting the effect I needed to feel alright. Before I knew it I was running out of my scripts early and having to buy more on the streets. All this happened within the first year I was put on the shit and continued for the next 4 years I was on it. People were calling it a miracle drug, but those were the people that didn't know shit. Reckitt Benckiser's combination of buprenorphine(an opiod with about a 24 hour half life, nearly 80x the potency of morphine, and has been around for years)and Nalaxone(an opiate antagonist, at a dose that could maybe bring a rat back from an OD'ing) is just another drug to get hooked on. I realize my case may not be typical, and some people do alright on subs, but for the hard core users, stories like mine are very common. If you need to go the sub route, get in and get out as fast as you can after your withdrawal symptoms subside, about 3-5 days, the way it was intentionally supposed to be used. If you do the right thing one day at a time with the help of NA/AA, I promise you, on my mothers eyes, that youre going to be alright. Just keep doing the right thing bro.

 

[BigPharma]

I agree 100% brother, i could always kick as long as i had another drug to turn to, i will admit the gym can be an addiction but when i got clean it was about stopping killing myself because i wasnt living I was slowly dying. I had to learn had to fill my schedule with positive things to do as to not get bored,or go back to my negative hobbies...IT WAS ALL ABOUT RECOVERY AT FIRST!! So today my life is about keeping it simple and enjoying life and seeing how strong i can physically get why i am still young enough to do so....I am Grateful for this forum and the dudes on it... i have been recovering now for about 11 years also,with a couple slips over the years,but i always got back up. They always say, The shame aint in falling down,its in not getting back up...when i got clean-Nov.2004 I was a string bean-5ft 11-160.... now i am 5ft 11 -230 on a nice cruise...recovery is GOOD....

 

[Danield_bro]

Try Ayahuasca to update your conciseness

 

[BigPharma]

Try Ayahuasca to update your conciseness

----No offense bro, but are you FUCKING CRAZY!!! OP is trying to kick opiates not trip ballz into another psychological dimension... Thanks,but no thanks.... NEXT!!!!

 

[Nutpuncher]

I used to be chronic opiate user/abuser. I've been clean for over 5 years. Hard, but doable. I just started TRT. I wish I started TRT w before getting clean because chronic opiate usage lowers your testosterone. Recovering from opiates is hard enough, you don't need to suffer from low T on top of dealing with withdrawals.

If I got clean, then so can you

 

[Danield_bro]

----No offense bro, but are you FUCKING CRAZY!!! OP is trying to kick opiates not trip ballz into another psychological dimension... Thanks,but no thanks.... NEXT!!!!

That's how I kicked opiates bro, clean for three years now thanks to a dramatic paradigm shift, Ayahuasca being the catalyst.

 

[Loyal2AAS]

No short cuts and no bullshit. You need to walk threw the fire and feel every second of your withdrawal. So you can know what the fuck you did to yourself, and develop a healthy fear of ever putting yourself in that position again. No matter what theres no easy way out. Even with the use of other substances, there will still be some hell to pay. Unless you go on maintenance therapy, which isn't really getting clean, youre just trading one for the other(like I once did), which will be a much more addictive substance, but in a legal setting. If worst comes worst, you check yourself into a detox. There you will be removed from the daily stressors of ordinary life, which equate to a 24/7 panic attack when you're withdrawing, and they'll give you a measly 1mg Ativan that will be just barely enough to take a little bit of the edge off the feelig; hot/cold sweats, skin crawls, things swimming in your stomach, the constant obsessive urges to tense up and kick when you try laying down, etc. But I guess it's better than nothing. After about three weeks color starts coming back to your skin, you gain a little weight, and you generally feel a little better depending on if you get, and how severe your post acute withdrawal syndrome(PAWS) is, which for me was a very depressing 3 months. PAWS or no PAWS, your ass is back in that gym after that 3 weeks. This will help get your bodys endorphin production that was suppressed from opiate/opiod use, back to where it should be. After I went threw that shit, as well as doing cycles irresponsibly without AI's and PCT here and there on occasion, because I was fucked up all the time and didn't care about the consequences, has put me in the same boat as you. My test level dropped ridiculously low and my doc has put me on TRT with 400mg a month. I'm fortunate that my doc lets me have the vial at home to inject myself. But I'm not blasting the stuff. I'm taking 200mg every 2 weeks, sticking to 400mg a month like the script says to. While on a high protein, high complex carb, high calorie, high everything diet(except for high sugar and sodium), and with focused dedicated to my routine in the gym. Today Im almost threw my first month of TRT and I'm beginning to feel better, I benched 275lbsx5 for 3 sets, which maybe alittle over a month ago was at 225x5 for 3 sets. I realize at this point the TRT has little to do with my improvement, and that due to training hard and eating like an animal, my bodys beginning to return to where it was before I decided to be a fuck up. Any how my point is as long as you keep doing the right thing, it'll all get better.

 

[Loyal2AAS]

Once my test level has regained and my progress plateaus, I'll cycle some good stacks again, properly with AI's and PCT when coming off. Because now I definitely give a fuck.

 

[Gimme20dollarz]

Sorry for the long wait to everyone's posts. Did not realize so many people on here know exactly what I am going through. It has helped me get motivated to take my life back into control. Been taking medicine for my bipolar depression which has uplifted me slightly. My mindset is becoming more positive, but issues dealing with my father's death still bother me a lot. Watching him suffer from cancer and being his caregiver which was such a positive thing in regards to our relationship but was so tragic taking care of him watching him get progressively worse. As for some questions asked about suboxone and Kratom. I have researched using Kratom and might try it just to see how it goes but I would like to be totally free in being dependent on a drug. I went from a recreational user of sorts to a user. Ive been a party type of guy my whole life and used semi responsible if there is such a thing. Mainly MDMA but I got hooked on opiates when my life went south. Battled opiate use while my dad was sick (He gave me his meds), got clean then I had a emotional break down the following father's day because I guess I was numb to everything while I was being his caregiver. I have sparingly used suboxone, used to detox the first time I got clean for awhile. Use it now to try to detox but honestly just used it when I cant score. As for an update on everything, I have been tampering my use down to 15mg of OPs which is still to much but better than what I have been doing. This week is the week of going cold turkey, I have half a sub strip that i will use for the 2nd or 3rd day when WD get extreme. Today I am starting some gear I got from a friend. Got ahold of some Sust 250 which will be a first to me. Always just used various Test pretty much around 500mg a wk. Ive used dbol,winny,tren etc in the past but just like using Test because I have got good results. Dont have any PCT stuff on hand yet, but will try to get some Nolva soon when I up my MG. Can't express how thankful for everyone's input. I will keep you guys updated about my progress. Today is a new beginning and hopefully I can stick to it.

 

[Nutpuncher]

Good luck. You can do this. Your not alone.

My suggestion is Don't quit cold turkey until you are simply consuming crumbs in other words get your dose to smallest possible and stay there for 2 weeks of not a month so your body adjusts and then cold turkey. Take a crumb 3x a day so that your taking very little and so that you maintain little I your system so you won't go into full withdrawal.

Lower your dose to point of taking crumbs 3x a day is basically same as mild withdraw. You know when to lower dose again once mild withdrawal at that dose diminishes or reduced.

Hope that makes sense. I am talking with over 10 years of usuage. I went from pills to methadone clinic to suboxone than to subsolve and then done.


PM me if you have any questions

 

[rpbb]

Sorry for the long wait to everyone's posts. Did not realize so many people on here know exactly what I am going through. It has helped me get motivated to take my life back into control. Been taking medicine for my bipolar depression which has uplifted me slightly. My mindset is becoming more positive, but issues dealing with my father's death still bother me a lot. Watching him suffer from cancer and being his caregiver which was such a positive thing in regards to our relationship but was so tragic taking care of him watching him get progressively worse. As for some questions asked about suboxone and Kratom. I have researched using Kratom and might try it just to see how it goes but I would like to be totally free in being dependent on a drug. I went from a recreational user of sorts to a user. Ive been a party type of guy my whole life and used semi responsible if there is such a thing. Mainly MDMA but I got hooked on opiates when my life went south. Battled opiate use while my dad was sick (He gave me his meds), got clean then I had a emotional break down the following father's day because I guess I was numb to everything while I was being his caregiver. I have sparingly used suboxone, used to detox the first time I got clean for awhile. Use it now to try to detox but honestly just used it when I cant score. As for an update on everything, I have been tampering my use down to 15mg of OPs which is still to much but better than what I have been doing. This week is the week of going cold turkey, I have half a sub strip that i will use for the 2nd or 3rd day when WD get extreme. Today I am starting some gear I got from a friend. Got ahold of some Sust 250 which will be a first to me. Always just used various Test pretty much around 500mg a wk. Ive used dbol,winny,tren etc in the past but just like using Test because I have got good results. Dont have any PCT stuff on hand yet, but will try to get some Nolva soon when I up my MG. Can't express how thankful for everyone's input. I will keep you guys updated about my progress. Today is a new beginning and hopefully I can stick to it.

did you get the bloodwork done, that's vital to what you are trying to accomplish

 

[Gimme20dollarz]

Sorry guys its been a few days since I last post. Ill update some more later on. Had a tragedy happen the other day, my friend committed suicide. Saw him the day before it happened, didnt even sense something was wrong. We wasn't close friends but I knew him enough to call him a friend. Hard to keep staying positive when death seems to follow me around. 10+ people I lost the past few years including the worse crime in TN history of my friend Chris Newsome and his GF. Who both was brutally raped and murdered by 3 African Americans. No one spoke of it besides Glenn Beck only because the case was tossed out because the judge was a drug addict. Hopefully a day in the gym will lift my spirits back up. Thanks guys

 

[Loyal2AAS]

Sorry guys its been a few days since I last post. Ill update some more later on. Had a tragedy happen the other day, my friend committed suicide. Saw him the day before it happened, didnt even sense something was wrong. We wasn't close friends but I knew him enough to call him a friend. Hard to keep staying positive when death seems to follow me around. 10+ people I lost the past few years including the worse crime in TN history of my friend Chris Newsome and his GF. Who both was brutally raped and murdered by 3 African Americans. No one spoke of it besides Glenn Beck only because the case was tossed out because the judge was a drug addict. Hopefully a day in the gym will lift my spirits back up. Thanks guys

Im sorry to hear about your friend and his girl. Our nation has taken a turn for the worst, what with forced socialist policies and racial hypocrisy. A gut wrenching percent of people have either bought into it, or care more about their face book accounts and whos going to be on the voice that night, or some bullshit. All while shit such as what happened to your friend and his girl goes unheard because it doesn't fall into the liberal medias agenda. Its fucking sickening. You have my sympathy. Although I'm not too sure you will get a whole lot more(I hope you do). I may have even just put myself on the chopping block by voicing my conservative views, but I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who Im not, by keeping my head down and going along with something just because Im afraid people may not like me. That's the cowards way. Hang in there bro. I hope aside from all this that youre getting better. Try going to some NA/AA meetings if you haven't already, and start to create a sober network of people to have in your corner. Like I said before, if you keep doing the right thing, your life will get better. I promise. Until next time take care and keep your head up.