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Meso drug addicts

I actually cut down my suboxone. Got through a rough patch recently, I was think about drugs 24/7 and dreaming about drugs, for 2-3 weeks for some reason. I smoked 3 hits of weed after I could not take it anymore instead of getting harder shit. It did the trick and am Back on track. I am happy I can smoke once and not keep going everyday. first time smoking in 1 year. I know weed is not addictive but for me I get hooked on everything. But maybe not anymore??...
 
jJjburton said:
I actually cut down my suboxone. Got through a rough patch recently, I was think about drugs 24/7 and dreaming about drugs, for 2-3 weeks for some reason. I smoked 3 hits of weed after I could not take it anymore instead of getting harder shit. It did the trick and am Back on track. I am happy I can smoke once and not keep going everyday. first time smoking in 1 year. I know weed is not addictive but for me I get hooked on everything. But maybe not anymore??...
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I told myself the same thing when so called legal marijuana came out. A week later I was smoking crack and had lost everything I had gained back. Once you wake that monster back up its twice as hard to put him back to sleep. Our disease lies in the mind. Anything that alters the mind is gonna make you relapses
 
jJjburton said:
I actually cut down my suboxone. Got through a rough patch recently, I was think about drugs 24/7 and dreaming about drugs, for 2-3 weeks for some reason. I smoked 3 hits of weed after I could not take it anymore instead of getting harder shit. It did the trick and am Back on track. I am happy I can smoke once and not keep going everyday. first time smoking in 1 year. I know weed is not addictive but for me I get hooked on everything. But maybe not anymore??...
Click to expand...
Who would want to roll the dice on that? Oh wait a drug addict like me would...
 
I guess everyone is doing good...? I hope. I started smoking once a week. Just a hit, I still get drug tested. Also taking adderall for school. But I am not going to refill my script this month. I only take 10 mg on school days. I took 250 mg the first night I got them. But I am not taking them anymore.
 
Hey check this thread out. More than a lil late but this is a good one. I'll be sober from drinking for 7 years come June. Have no desire to ever drink again. I despise it. I do however love me some bud. Unfortunately due to work i can't do that either so I'm just high on life (and test tren and drol) at the moment. This is cool especially cuz it's so rare i get to a meeting anymore.
 
I can't remember which of these threads I've posted in, but I'm coming up on four years sober from opiates/heroin here soon.

Got hooked on Oxys, Methadone Fentanyl suckers back in the early to mid 2000's. Had some crazy hook ups at the time and me being the extremist I am when it comes to that stuff I took it way too far. Overdosed a few times. Once passed out on my back and threw up into my lungs. Got airlifted to a city hospital and spent a few days in a coma. Ended up losing my hook up on being prescribed Methadone, Xanax, Adderall and Vics and came off all that cold turkey for awhile. Ended up in the ER and finally couldn't take it and went to a Methadone Clinic. Did that four about two years, switched to Suboxone and actually came off successfully only to try IV Oxy a couple months later.

Of course that turned into IV everything including meth, other pain pills, coke and H. Add in liberal amounts of benzos and I was going to jail constantly for dumb shit like shoplifting and firing a weapon at shadow people. Picked up hep c at some point, too. Finally ended up getting four years at 50% after spending well over a year in and out total in county jail and rehab.

Lost a lot of people close to me while I was away. My grandma died six days after I got to county jail. I'd put off visiting her in the hospital because I'd been up like a week. Lost my grandpa a few months before I got home. My dad died of lung cancer a few months after I got home and I did at least get to spend some time with him during house arrest. Worst part is he died having really never seen me as anything other than a deadbeat drug addict besides that short time on house arrest and that's huge motivation for me to stay clean and finally live a life he would be proud of even though he's not here to see it. I actually had a guy come to my house and put Oxys in my hand right after my dad died and I didn't take them.

For once being broke and unemployed paid off right when I got out of prison because I was able to qualify got patient assistance and got my hep c cured. Now I've got a steady job, got engaged recently, life is good and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't smoke or drink. Powerlifting is my addiction. All that emptiness that substances used to go into is now my drive to be relentless in my pursuit of strength gains. Lifting has been a huge part of my recovery.
 
Relapsed a couple months back. Bought a bag of the strongest dope I'd ever had. It scared me in all honesty how powerful this shit was. I think it may have been H cut with a fentanyl analog because I've never had anything like it. But yeah I've been clean since that day. Really sucks because I was coming up on a year and a half completely sober. Pretty disappointed in myself.
 
Whoremoans said:
Relapsed a couple months back. Bought a bag of the strongest dope I'd ever had. It scared me in all honesty how powerful this shit was. I think it may have been H cut with a fentanyl analog because I've never had anything like it. But yeah I've been clean since that day. Really sucks because I was coming up on a year and a half completely sober. Pretty disappointed in myself.
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My relapses made me into the man I am today. Without them I would probably always wonder if I could control myself on the dope now. I know I can not and don't even entertain the idea because of my relapses. I don't think the dope got stronger. Your disease has been working out while you've been clean. You probably went right back to the dose you were taking when you got clean and you simply just couldn't handle it. That's why most that relapse die.
 
OdieM said:
My relapses made me into the man I am today. Without them I would probably always wonder if I could control myself on the dope now. I know I can not and don't even entertain the idea because of my relapses. I don't think the dope got stronger. Your disease it's been working out while you've been clean. You probably went right back to the dose you were taking when you got clean and you simply just couldn't handle it. That's why most that relapse die.
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You're right man. I'll say this it was enough to remind me how passionately I hate drugs.
 
Will have one full year in 3 weeks from opiate and benzo addiction. It's so fucking nice not having to worry about what I'm gonna have to do tomorrow. The freedom is amazing. I have absolutely no desire to use again but the disease still works on me from time to time. When it does it's time to push some weight. Even if I already lifted for the day.

@OdieM I like your outlook on addiction. I can tell you've really been through it but fully aware of what's waiting if you let your guard down. Great asset to this thread.
 
OdieM said:
I told myself the same thing when so called legal marijuana came out. A week later I was smoking crack and had lost everything I had gained back. Once you wake that monster back up its twice as hard to put him back to sleep. Our disease lies in the mind. Anything that alters the mind is gonna make you relapses
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I agree. Don't be seduced. I grew MJ for years. I quit when i sobered up. Careful.
 
Perrin Aybara said:
I can't remember which of these threads I've posted in, but I'm coming up on four years sober from opiates/heroin here soon.

Got hooked on Oxys, Methadone Fentanyl suckers back in the early to mid 2000's. Had some crazy hook ups at the time and me being the extremist I am when it comes to that stuff I took it way too far. Overdosed a few times. Once passed out on my back and threw up into my lungs. Got airlifted to a city hospital and spent a few days in a coma. Ended up losing my hook up on being prescribed Methadone, Xanax, Adderall and Vics and came off all that cold turkey for awhile. Ended up in the ER and finally couldn't take it and went to a Methadone Clinic. Did that four about two years, switched to Suboxone and actually came off successfully only to try IV Oxy a couple months later.

Of course that turned into IV everything including meth, other pain pills, coke and H. Add in liberal amounts of benzos and I was going to jail constantly for dumb shit like shoplifting and firing a weapon at shadow people. Picked up hep c at some point, too. Finally ended up getting four years at 50% after spending well over a year in and out total in county jail and rehab.

Lost a lot of people close to me while I was away. My grandma died six days after I got to county jail. I'd put off visiting her in the hospital because I'd been up like a week. Lost my grandpa a few months before I got home. My dad died of lung cancer a few months after I got home and I did at least get to spend some time with him during house arrest. Worst part is he died having really never seen me as anything other than a deadbeat drug addict besides that short time on house arrest and that's huge motivation for me to stay clean and finally live a life he would be proud of even though he's not here to see it. I actually had a guy come to my house and put Oxys in my hand right after my dad died and I didn't take them.

For once being broke and unemployed paid off right when I got out of prison because I was able to qualify got patient assistance and got my hep c cured. Now I've got a steady job, got engaged recently, life is good and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't smoke or drink. Powerlifting is my addiction. All that emptiness that substances used to go into is now my drive to be relentless in my pursuit of strength gains. Lifting has been a huge part of my recovery.
Click to expand...
I feel ya bro, I got hep c too from shooting up. Still didn't stop me, I didn't stop until I had almost lost everything, then I finally came to my senses and got help. Been on subs for about 4 years, I honestly don't want to come off them, I feel normally now, I don't get high off them and my doc doesn't have a problem with me staying on. And I've been sober now for 3 months, longest of my life when I haven't been locked up, I feel the best I have ever felt. I'm pretty proud of my self to see where I'm at from where I came from. My life could be totally different in a bad way. My wife and working out has saved my life and I'll be forever grateful for that.
 
I hear ya man, that's why I only take them if I need them or its a busy ass night at work and there available it seems to make me do better.
I still try to go without, my ex her cuz got hooked and did a cold Turkey ended up having a seizure..


Whoremoans said:
Yeah and the dependency and withdrawal are gonna be pretty shitty too.
Click to expand...
 
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