Meso drug addicts

[penche]

Ya bro, the Xanax fucks my lifting up. I only used it 3 times in the last 5 years. You are correct, they will take years of your life. A blackout. One big long blackout! Keep driving the big weight homie!!

The tank

Some serious Stories here, sorry for the members that lost their loved ones. Sorry to those that suffered neglect, abuse or worse!

I can relate to those Xanax blackouts, partying out at fav strip clubs and fading away ending up places you have no idea where. Some dangerous shit esp mixed with alcohol. Been trying to kick the habit TBH and my doc has cut me short on supply too. My doc ain't dumb so it's pretty much a straight road from here on out, at least I gotta try. Been dependent on bars for 3~4 yrs, ESP to sleep. Good luck to you all.

 

[BBC3]

TALES FROM THE ABYSS (fun with fiction).....:

the heat is def turned up. J^^^^ has been on turbo-crazy for days now
What did ******* do..?
,
Ya know. The problem is that we peak and truly retire when we quit playing sports. That was the last time we were truly Alive. We die after that. We just don't know it...
What possesses one to end their life I definitely understand. TO HAVE TRUE CLEAR KNOWLEDGE THAT THE BEST IS BEHIND.!!! Where do they gain this insight??? Are they the true type A excellent ?? Because for the life of me I feel like there is some reason to hang around. Honestly, I think many of is use drugs as either a reason, excuse, or crutch to stay. The next challenge or remaining hobby?? Whether it's out of cowardous or positive real intention is the question..


Man.!!! Those fucking drugs are PURE EVIL... Don't ever look back...
Something about a pillar of salt
I'm out again. Thank God only M. Thank GOD.
This will be only a few days if misery as opposed to a month.. Or more. Sweet Jesus that D was pure evil.. But the evil is so strong it extinguishes it's self. Made the M seem like a waste of time. WASTE OF TIME INDEED...

 

[bigdd]

TALES FROM THE ABYSS (fun with fiction).....:

the heat is def turned up. J^^^^ has been on turbo-crazy for days now
What did ******* do..?
,
Ya know. The problem is that we peak and truly retire when we quit playing sports. That was the last time we were truly Alive. We die after that. We just don't know it...
What possesses one to end their life I definitely understand. TO HAVE TRUE CLEAR KNOWLEDGE THAT THE BEST IS BEHIND.!!! Where do they gain this insight??? Are they the true type A excellent ?? Because for the life of me I feel like there is some reason to hang around. Honestly, I think many of is use drugs as either a reason, excuse, or crutch to stay. The next challenge or remaining hobby?? Whether it's out of cowardous or positive real intention is the question..


Man.!!! Those fucking drugs are PURE EVIL... Don't ever look back...
Something about a pillar of salt
I'm out again. Thank God only M. Thank GOD.
This will be only a few days if misery as opposed to a month.. Or more. Sweet Jesus that D was pure evil.. But the evil is so strong it extinguishes it's self. Made the M seem like a waste of time. WASTE OF TIME INDEED...

I'm a trenaholic, might have to seek some counseling or 12 step program some day..........

 

[DjX18058]

Drugs r bad mkay ...nah but seriously Its crazy how many people here were drug addicts too. I went 4 years addicted to opiates , mainly heroin and now im on suboxone maintenance. Addiction is a hell of a battle but I've learned that replacing my opiate addiction with the gym has given me a way better and healthier addiction. Imo every addict needs a replacement addiction whether it be the gym, sex, caffeine, cigs. Some of these things may not be the healthiest replacement but it's better than sticking a needle in your arm or popping a bunch of pills just to keep from being sick. Well like I said it's nice to see that other people on here are going thru the same thing, good luck everybody !

 

[caveman72]

Drugs r bad mkay ...nah but seriously Its crazy how many people here were drug addicts too. I went 4 years addicted to opiates , mainly heroin and now im on suboxone maintenance. Addiction is a hell of a battle but I've learned that replacing my opiate addiction with the gym has given me a way better and healthier addiction. Imo every addict needs a replacement addiction whether it be the gym, sex, caffeine, cigs. Some of these things may not be the healthiest replacement but it's better than sticking a needle in your arm or popping a bunch of pills just to keep from being sick. Well like I said it's nice to see that other people on here are going thru the same thing, good luck everybody !

I feel you,
I as well am doing better because of Suboxone and working out.u was totally clean a few times in last 15 years. when I kicked methadone cold 3 times. I felt worse felt like they was controlling me.the clinic,its bad enuff that you're. new car you want you already bought you're dealer one.I can go on etc. I was Mr.teen mo.1992 this was even with out test that year Just used primo during diet.because 1991 I came in second lost to much muscle during diet and natural you come in soft.but primo showed me the edge you have did ciyole orals a50. anavar but was scared. but wasn't scared to stick needle in arm for 15? years I list focus my union job lost, my home I grew up in.my people I cared about there trust. quit working out was a has been.became homeless. then came prison are 40 years old.
I came out already kinda buff I get big quick I'm 5-6 around 210 out of prison natural now I'm 205 but alot harder. anyway I just wanted to share I still have know house or car I ride bike daily to work I've always worked just blew my money.I ride hybrid bike to work good excercise.I'm a foreman I build and install boatdocks and build seawalls. I've been a carpenter all my life. that's what I lost was union carpenter job.
but was hoping someone would read this if there in the beginning of addiction, maybe they can turnaround now use you're obsession on weight and sex.
trust me even the strong will miss work dope sick on heroin

 

[caveman72]

u had to correct my writing but to late.I was natural in the own but now I'm on testosterone.and npp.
steroids help they don't do it like people think.but we get a much harder Fuller look. I hope to eventually get off Suboxone but mentally I miss the methadone. so I know um not ready.
hell you can order methadone powder just like yiy would Steroid raws. it would save me money.goodluck

 

[jJjburton]

I feel all you with the subs too. I started taking 32 mg 2 years ago prescribed for heroin. I just cut down my subs from 2.8 to 1.4 mg last week. I have been withdrawing. I want to just stop the subs but the withdrawals would be hell. The withdrawals now are just night cold sweats from cutting in half but lasted a week so far. Has anybody just stoppped taking subs. Were the withdrawals worse MUCH worse then cutting dose in half? How long do withdrawals take to stop. I think I wanna try it but I probably am better off tapering. It's not worth feeling like having to relapse. That would putt he last 2 years to waste.

I also stopped smoking cigs. Except for days I have probation and Outpatient. I smoke 10 cigs but only once a week. Going to try and not smoke any tomorrwo which is when I have those appointments.

For me my thought process to get me to stop is this. I tell myself if I stop, get a job, and money, wait 5-10 years then I can do them again. I say this to myself when I think about doing drugs. It tells myselfs don't do them rn, just hold off a little longer. But then I hope that when I do get older I will see that it's 10x better not getting high and always trying to sceem for that next fix. It's a weird thinking process but it works sorta. I know I am going to do them again. I also think about how shitty the next days always are, or how coming down feels. Typed a lot here.

Stay gold pony boy, stay gold.

 

[DjX18058]

I feel all you with the subs too. I started taking 32 mg 2 years ago prescribed for heroin. I just cut down my subs from 2.8 to 1.4 mg last week. I have been withdrawing. I want to just stop the subs but the withdrawals would be hell. The withdrawals now are just night cold sweats from cutting in half but lasted a week so far. Has anybody just stoppped taking subs. Were the withdrawals worse MUCH worse then cutting dose in half? How long do withdrawals take to stop. I think I wanna try it but I probably am better off tapering. It's not worth feeling like having to relapse. That would putt he last 2 years to waste.

I also stopped smoking cigs. Except for days I have probation and Outpatient. I smoke 10 cigs but only once a week. Going to try and not smoke any tomorrwo which is when I have those appointments.

For me my thought process to get me to stop is this. I tell myself if I stop, get a job, and money, wait 5-10 years then I can do them again. I say this to myself when I think about doing drugs. It tells myselfs don't do them rn, just hold off a little longer. But then I hope that when I do get older I will see that it's 10x better not getting high and always trying to sceem for that next fix. It's a weird thinking process but it works sorta. I know I am going to do them again. I also think about how shitty the next days always are, or how coming down feels. Typed a lot here.

Stay gold pony boy, stay gold.

I wouldn't just stop your subs cold Turkey man that shit is no joke ...I mean I came off of heroin completely cold Turkey before but I had no choice because I moved out of state and had no connects ..stick to tapering man it can be done quick if you really want it I'm down to 4mg a day right now and get prescribed 20 I did that taper all by myself without the doctor because I wanted to get off them quicker than they were gunna do it. So I just sell my extra ones and make a lil extra cash

 

[caveman72]

I know for fact Suboxone is easier than methods. done both cold.Suboxone took couple weeks to sleep natural and getup feeling good methodone took a month living hell

 

[DjX18058]

I know for fact Suboxone is easier than methods. done both cold.Suboxone took couple weeks to sleep natural and getup feeling good methodone took a month living hell

Yeah I've heard that methadone is a hell of a lot worse

 

[giuseppesson]

Well brothers this is definitely another reason why I can honestly say I LOVE THIS PLACE. Fuckin A, we're all human!

My names G and I'm an addict. Wish I could say it in the sense of an AA meeting or NA etc but I can't. Started my affair with Mary Jane in the 6th grade, was introduced to shrooms, X and Acid in 8th and blow my freshman or sophomore year.

Played football in high school where I was introduced to AAS and pain killers, in college came the demo shots.

I sold green and white in HS and college. Was given my first LB as a freshman and split my soph year. I had a knack for moving it. Fast forward to college and I dropped out because I was netting an annual salary in a month moving shit from the southwest to the Midwest. All while doing a quarter a day minimum of blow.

My pops was diagnosed with cancer and rocked my world. He was a respected friend of sorts and that's the way I thought I wanted my life to be. The day he was diagnosed and given 6 weeks to 4 months to live was the day I fessed up that I was a coke head, he replied I know n have known since the first day you tried it with Josh and Steve. What was I gonna do, lock you in your room? You would've crawled out the window to get your fix. If it got outta hand I would've told you but until u wanted to tell me or quit the was nothing I could do for u. I was shocked and decided then to quit the blow and only smoke weed and lift. His death, two years later was rough as hell on me and I relapsed bad. Started right up with the blow and popping pills. I remember clear as ever one day I was mid-line and saw him, standing in the corner of my living room just shaking his head crying, that was the last time ive ever done coke. Unfortunately I can't say the same about fuckin norcs. I've tried so many times to quit but just can't. Some days I can get by with only a few and others in taking 20+. It's a Neverending cycle.

Mix that with injuries and the mental addiction and it seems impossible. Now I know it is possible to quit and mad props to those who have but I guess I'm just not truly ready to do it.

Anyways, I apologize that this post went a completely different direction than originally anticipated but that's my story. A fraction of it anyways.

 

[Ach3r0n]

my question is for all my fellow addicts.. have you guys gone completely 100% clean and sober? some people in recovery i know have rules where they let themselves have a night out once a year, or if they are overseas as long as they avoid their main poison they think they're okay. hows it worked for you ?

I was an alcoholic from 97-00. I would generally down at least a 1.5L bottle of vodka daily. I was, literally, drunk throughout the entire day. I went to school drunk. I went to work drunk. I burned virtually all of my relationships - platonic and not. I did drugs as well (weed, LSD, mescaline, coke, shrooms, opium, hash, and on one occasion, I inadvertently did PCP [laced weed]), but never became physically addicted to any of them.

I quit drinking completely for awhile, went through a phase where I was drinking wine pretty heavily (but not addict heavy), and, ultimately, returned to, generally, not drinking. Now I typically get drunk maybe once every 2 years (always at concerts). Aside from that, I rarely drink at all. For example, this year I had about 6 beers (no more than 2 at a time) over the course of the year and no other alcohol.

Coming from a health psych prospective, the vast majority of addicts cannot have just a little without getting hooked all over again. For a very small percentage of the addict population, however, they are able to go back and keep it under control. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle as I have generally kept it under control, but did go through the wine phase years ago (2007'ish). For me, I think the determining factor is my state of mind. If I'm in a fairly good place mentally and I start drinking, it's fine. However, I stay away from the stuff if I'm depressed as I know just how it easy it is to avoid one's problems by just staying fucked up 24/7.

 

[viking23]

I truly believe it all depends on the individuals environment and relationships.

I have a few friends that I can tell you when they are back on because they seclude themselves from majority of people and when they are at their best they are out interacting and connecting with others. You will always connect to something! If not people then it's usually a substance. In my experience anyway

 

[BBC3]

I was never addicted to opiates until I got to pain meds stronger than hydrocodone. That one simply is not addictive IMHO. But after a stent on dilauded, I crossed some fuking bridge that I want to spend the rest of my life gazing from. Just insanity. And while physical withdrawal from D is stated to be 5-7 days - I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT FEEL GOOD FEELING...! Never... And whats wrong with feeling good I have to wonder..? LOL ITS LIKE BEING YOUNG AGAIN...! and its that simple. It goes far beyond the immediate physical side effects. It goes way beyond receptor learning long term. Its a matter of knowing there is a better way of life feeling good. Convincing yourself that this is a bad way of life is difficult. You just have to realize TOLERANCE, and then learn that you are only maintaining "normal" after a while. Still, I never found a time that this MAINTENANCE was ineffective at feeling good psychologically and physically. The issue seems to be the search for that initial rush of ecstasy...!!! The proof is that it gets real easy to OD when chasing that rush after a while. This is also the proof that the pain reduction effect does not diminish that much, esp with D... D also appears to be enjoying political protection these days it seems.. What a ride.. Now the hell-pay/ the wallet is OPEN.. / I am really hesitant to seek that drug again - SUX!! The removal of hydrocodone from the market is proving catastrophic. Got to be reversed before heroin winds up on every street..!!!

 

[Str8Shooter]

i love that theres a lot of fellow addicts here..

i won't give the whole story but i used to trash my body so much, i had so much fun in those days but after a while the parting every weekend turned into everyday which led to uppers to combat the lows and vice versa..then using rohypnol and any other heavy benzo when i couldn't get any opiates to combat withdrawals etc it was a fucked up vicious cycle. after 2 rehab stints i actually reached a point where i no longer wanted to use any opiates any more.

i am on bupe (subutex) - which i really wish to get off and since it was mentioned in a thread a couple weeks ago I've cut back from 32mg to 4mg.. i have an appointment with my DNA dr next week to talk to him about ridding myself of this ball and chain once and for all.


one thing that i do miss is smoking a spliff every now and then, and even more so i miss the partying.. i don't feel the urge to drink to try and drown sorrows or anything like that, but i do miss random nights having some drinks or having some molly/coke and having a loose night/next day.

i don't touch anything any more apart from the odd valium to help with sleep; all prescribed by my DNA dr... once upon a time you give me a bottle of valium and the next day they'd be gone. now i only ever use them when i have to and have 0 desire to abuse them..
my question is for all my fellow addicts.. have you guys gone completely 100% clean and sober? some people in recovery i know have rules where they let themselves have a night out once a year, or if they are overseas as long as they avoid their main poison they think they're okay. hows it worked for you ?

I was ameth addict for 17 years, non-stop, unless I was injail or prison. I went to prison for manufacturing. The courts, my age, my wife, and heavy lifting and clean eating brought me out of that shit. I have been -100%- clean since October 21st 2010...

A lot of people find success with NA-AA, and that is awesome for them. I however never believed them when they said it's a disease, and not a weakness, it is absolutely a weakness in my eyes, a weakness I got much stronger than with clean living, heavy lifting and overall health.

I can't lie, there were times over those 17 years where life was a full blast pleasure filled adventure... But at the end of the road I nearly died from terrible health issues and would have been dead by now, and if I messed up one more single time, they would START my sentencing no less than 25 years. FTS

 

[Str8Shooter]

Seems to be a lot of talk about opiates here. I guess I kinda missed the boat on that shit thank god.

I am 42 and when I was coming up we didn't really fuck with pills that much.
I mean I did crash my best friends car into a telephone pole on Xanax and Jim beam, shattered my nose and he bit his tongue in half. Ahhh those were the days.

I was actually prescribed delauded once when I had kidney stones.
Shit was like floating on a cloud of titties!!
Though it felt great I knew that shit was not for me.

I have prob eaten over 500 hits of acid and shroomed hundreds of times also.
Been smoking weed for 25 years and had a little cocaine problem for about 10 years.

Now I barely drink, still smoke herb everyday and actually ate some mushrooms last weekend.

Props to all the survivors here at meso!!

I've been clean from meth for 5 years, but I always keep my eye out for some shrooms or mesc... That stuff does not count! Never run across anything though.

 

[Ozzy619]

I've been clean from meth for 5 years, but I always keep my eye out for some shrooms or mesc... That stuff does not count! Never run across anything though.

Shrooms have to be the worst thing I have ever tried. I can never differentiate reality from my trip and I always have had bad trips. Mescaline I've never tried but my dad said its good. I'll stick to aas and the occasional bender from now on.

 

[zombie21]

2cb is awesome some of the best sex ever

 

[Big_paul]

YO drug addicts. Hope all is well and we are all clean and sober. I'm hanging in there. Life can be a bitch, but we stay strong right?

 

[OdieM]

Bump