Wings_of_pain
New Member
So to start I apologise for the bullshit drama, and in fact haven't been on meso in quite a bit. But to get to the point I thought my at the time gf was cheating because of a few things and have bouts of regret that waiver depending.
Specifically, strike one was that when we first met she lied about not having been with other men for some time and was still having sex with other guys about a week into dating. At first I was livid to find she lied. We had a week period where we were trying to be good but it ate at me . One night while looking for a gift for her I saw a text from an old FWB asking about her and her saying they could not fuck anymore basically because she was in a relationship. I got drunk that night and was nasty to her which is apologized over but still rregret.We got through it and I figured that people are or can be very promiscuous these days. Then I demanded she block all these past flings on social media and while she did the next day wanted to break up.
Then about 4 days ago we were in her car (where we often have sex) and when I went to grab something from the glove box condoms flew out. I was upset but didn't show it at all. I was quiet and merely said you know exactly what this looks like. The thing is we never used condoms because the ones I had tried we're uncomfortable, but days before she did mention finding some eventually to try. I mean this has been hard as fuck because I was immensely loving and I am a devoted man. However, I feel like my heart was begging me to finish it because in the pit I know she is cheating no matter how much I try to or want to think she's not.
I know this is leaving out huge details and Is only my side as opposed to when I was shitty to her but I never cheated despite having the opportunity to. I don't know I can be paranoid and it kills me because aside from this incident with wondering about cheating we we're perfect. She understood me on a level no other girl has, and she was very very similar. I feel like if she cheated then I made the right choice but if she didn't I let my paranoia destroy this. I wondered why she would post on Snapchat she was broken up and sad emojis if she was already seeing other men. I wonder why she would buy condoms for other men when she was also on the pill and most guys have their own condoms. Some of it doesn't totally add up but my instinct told me first thing the next morning to end it. Opinions on my dramatic recollection? Lol
Specifically, strike one was that when we first met she lied about not having been with other men for some time and was still having sex with other guys about a week into dating. At first I was livid to find she lied. We had a week period where we were trying to be good but it ate at me . One night while looking for a gift for her I saw a text from an old FWB asking about her and her saying they could not fuck anymore basically because she was in a relationship. I got drunk that night and was nasty to her which is apologized over but still rregret.We got through it and I figured that people are or can be very promiscuous these days. Then I demanded she block all these past flings on social media and while she did the next day wanted to break up.
Then about 4 days ago we were in her car (where we often have sex) and when I went to grab something from the glove box condoms flew out. I was upset but didn't show it at all. I was quiet and merely said you know exactly what this looks like. The thing is we never used condoms because the ones I had tried we're uncomfortable, but days before she did mention finding some eventually to try. I mean this has been hard as fuck because I was immensely loving and I am a devoted man. However, I feel like my heart was begging me to finish it because in the pit I know she is cheating no matter how much I try to or want to think she's not.
I know this is leaving out huge details and Is only my side as opposed to when I was shitty to her but I never cheated despite having the opportunity to. I don't know I can be paranoid and it kills me because aside from this incident with wondering about cheating we we're perfect. She understood me on a level no other girl has, and she was very very similar. I feel like if she cheated then I made the right choice but if she didn't I let my paranoia destroy this. I wondered why she would post on Snapchat she was broken up and sad emojis if she was already seeing other men. I wonder why she would buy condoms for other men when she was also on the pill and most guys have their own condoms. Some of it doesn't totally add up but my instinct told me first thing the next morning to end it. Opinions on my dramatic recollection? Lol
