I think it’s done

[Bigdiddy]

Are you serious?! This isn’t healthy . I’m exhausted reading just a small part of your posts. Insanity.

 

[Dead]

I mean…. She cheated on you when you were together bud, so you already knew you weren’t her world. But I get it - it was the illusion that she needed you, and in some twisted way, she relied on you, which made you feel needed or wanted. The reality is, you were simply a means to an end for her. So I get why you feel salty, because you’re a codependent person. You need to work on that bud.

I mean I still am trying to decipher that.

We hung out every day for 6 months.

I did so many things that should’ve made her break up with me when she didn’t.

She offered to pay speeding tickets, she bought me food when I moved into my new apartment, she literally slept over went to work and came back over. Like every-day-.

She bought me a Christmas tree and $350 worth of gifts and made dinner.

The second I was off work I get a text asking to come over. Every day.

She genuinely tried to get me bonding with her daughter.

I left that daughter home alone one time “early morning a month into the relationship because she was sleeping and I thought 10 minutes would be fine but she woke up during that time, the roommate was home, kid goes upstairs, he tells her and she finds out” it was really bad on my part I understand that. She still stayed with me.

I never took her to dinner or anything “she called me a simp at the start of relationship so I was like well uh? Okay then” didn’t know how to take it so tried to not be a simp. (Because I went and bought her a stuffed animal she wanted)

She’d ask to meet my family. She’d want me to meet hers.

Any time we broke up I could see what she’d say to coworkers and boss and her aunts friend and it seemed like she genuinely was upset and trying to figure out whether she should give me another chance or whatever.

I’d fight with her a lot and just have an attitude for no reason (cause I knew I was cheated on) it was hard to keep composure.

I don’t think she cheated on me til we had broken up a couple times already

I acted annoyed by her kid and she begged me to give her a chance.

When I told her I knew she cheated with proof I said ur blocked bye and she ate a few pills claiming suicide.

At the start of the relationship she’d send money for no reason she’d constantly text me allllll day

I just always had a high sense of distrust in her.

I got in her roommates face one night n she literally lived with me for 3 weeks and tried to get a restraining order on him. I saw the emails.

Whenever I’d purposely act disinterested she’d try so hard to like get my attention.

Keep in mind I always did really like this chick but a huge sense of distrust because she’d make side comments about how I was ugly and shit.

So maybe she liked the security I provided her but not the appearance.

Either way we had sex all the time. If she didn’t want to she’d still do it for me.

Also my dick stopped working for awhile cuz deca so maybe that effected things too.

She always felt I was unattracted to her and that I treated me exes better. Truth is I ain’t had a relationship aside from her since like 20.

I’d chase her after a break up and I think that made me look needy and desperate and killed the sexual tension.

I’d get mad when we wouldn’t fuck (felt like she just wanted me to cuddle probably incorrect but hard to tell when I’m being called ugly) then she’d be like aren’t I cute? U never call me cute. Like ya cuz u call me ugly so I mean why would I?

Spent every holiday with me

Bought me clothes.

She honestly did do quite a lot for me and she did seem to care but I wasn’t sure if it was fake.

I mean I left her kid home sleeping n she still hung out.

I turn airplane mode on when phone dying one night she thought I blocked her and felt sooo hurt.

She found tinder on my phone once (around the ugly comments I made a tinder to see who I matched with to feel better) n she punched me in the face like 8 times threw my phone on the ground.

I saw comments about that too in her phone and it was a genuine reaction. We were fighting a lot at this time too.

When we first hung out I didn’t like her much. And one morning we woke up and she’s like “you didn’t even lay next to me last night do you not like me”

One night I got up and keys were in my pocket and she goes “ARE YOU LEAVING?!?” All sad

But the physical appearance comments continued. So I couldn’t fucking tell.

Retyping this out it seems like she liked me but she’s also just sexually fucked up she was raped and molested.

She did make sexual advances but it started decreasingn when I’d act needy.

Like we probably fucked 90 percent of the time she came over and not every time did she want to.

At the end of the day I was like does she actually have feelings because I did a lot of shit that would make her say fuck off, but so did she to me…

Did she really like me or did she just want money from my degree in august that I told her I was getting

(Actually got a bit more time than that)

Like if I wasn’t her world I don’t think she’d practically live with me for 6 months, allow me to leave her kid alone and all that, constantly text me all day, all that shit

In fact Christmas was interesting. She got me some pretty decently thoughtful gifts. She ordered them early December and she does not have the amount of money she spent to be making purchases like that

She’d spend more time and money on me than her child. I mean literally paid for a baby sitter so we could have alone time.

So I think she did like me. Just not physically? Or I just turned her off with the arguing and chasing? Or she just wanted money. I have no idea. We broke up like a month into the relationship or 2 weeks we got in a fight cuz I flipped shit cuz I didn’t know about iud birth control and I kinda went a little agressive about if she was seeious

She wanted me to come in her from day 2. Said “it was primal”

But she had condoms in her droor of her room so idk.

We matched on bumble. When I didn’t reply at first she goes “oh okay then I see how it is” I’m like dude it’s been 3 hours chill.

2nd conversation we texting while I’m at work and I go work sucks kill me and she goes “I’ll just suck your dick instead”

Things started good but shit got bad the first time I flipped on the birth control issue. It freaked me out. Was pretty agressive. So I set my own grave maybe? Or maybe not

Then again her exes always said she want loyal

I never took her out or did anything for her I’d make her split payments at dinner because I couldn’t tell if I was being played and didn’t wanna look like an idiot.

She’d actually pay for shit more often than not

I’ve seen convos of her talking to people and being the same irrational she did to me and saying shit like “okay fuck u ima go fuck my ex then”

And during our break ups she’d obsessively text me but have my number blocked and it seemed very very real how mad she was or hurt

Another thing I did (psycho) but she was like ima go fuck this dude after a couple days of breaking up to get a reaction out of me… we’ll I was on cycle and pissed so I sorta may have went to her work and knocked some shit out of her hand and called her a bitch

Still took me back after that….

I mean yeah I did a lot of fucked up shit too

But ONLY because I had a strong sense she was cheating on me

I mean she pulled up an Tik tok video and it was about cheating (they’re random) and tears started coming down her eyes. (It was dark she didn’t know I saw) that’s when I knew she cheated, we had lots of fights by this point

At one point she said let’s just be fuck buddies so as a test I called my gym and said how much to bring a friend? And then looked at her reaction and she seemed so sad over that too.

 

[Dead]

She went to a psychic and had them draw a picture of her lover and claimed it was me.

If that doesn’t say she’s loopy and doesn’t really have it together mentally (not like I do either I got some screws loose) then idk.

Literally went to a psychic and claimed it was me. She also doesn’t take meds for her bipolar

 

[Dead]

Look I’m in my 20s for you older dudes out there, dating apps have ruined shit.

Any chick can go on an get 100 matches in a day. Opportunity goes up and value goes down.

I can’t trust that any chick these days is serious about a dude unless 1) she is declining in age and looks or 2) you are extremely attractive wealthy tall whatever

People see too many other people.

I think it’s best at this point in my life to drop this whole feeling of finding a relationship with someone who’s genuine and honest with their intentions. There’s too much outside influence these days to expect that fairy tale to actually exist. Unless maybe u have kids together.

I think from here on out, any relationship I do get in, I will treat as an experience of life and nothing more. No matter how much I get the I love you’s blah blah blah, it’s too unrealistic to expect it to be how I originally pictured any sort of connection in a relationship.

See that shit more as a life partner than a “wife” or whatever… who fuckin knows

People feel fuckin feelings, it’s oxytocin and dopamine and all that shit in the brain. Nothing more.

And the more appealing u are to said partner the more of those chemicals they release and based on opportunity and past relationships and your value, will determine how much of those chemicals need to be released for you to be satisfied with your partner.

That’s all there is to this shit. That’ll be my take on it

Sound odd? Maybe, but it’s true. Coming from a neurological endocrine standpoint. Chemicals. In. The. Brain.

It’s society that cracks up all this marriage relationship Hollywood drama bullshit to be more than it is.

But I guess that’s just part of what makes life, life.

This whole idea of Disney monogamy causes an ideological perspective that’s too unrealistic for the flaws of humanity

 

[jJjburton]

Dude,

Read the book a new world by Elkhart Tolle.

It will explain to you all the shit you are trying to figure out. You really need to work on yourself. It is really exhausting reading this. Most i had to skip.

He explains about the ego, and how you attract people that reflect you. So people who attract to you are just you.

And you are placing your on insecurites on people.

 

[malfeasance]

Look I’m in my 20s for you older dudes out there, dating apps have ruined shit.

Any chick can go on an get 100 matches in a day. Opportunity goes up and value goes down.

LOL! Get some perspective. Thirsty, desperate males ruined it. Dating apps simply gave males another outlet for desperately fawning over females.

If males wouldn't sleep with females who were not desirable as real life mates, then all of that undesirable behavior would stop in a heart beat.

Kind of like the average woman is now 170 pounds, but women have no problem finding sexual partners, so why should they be disciplined about their eating?

Women are loud and bitchy and bossy, and guys still pursue them.

A woman rolls her eyes when a man speaks, and he does not instantly get up and leave without a further comment. No, he desperately tries to impress her in the hopes of "getting some."

Men are so desperate today that women just sit back with an attitude of, "Entertain me, you dancing monkey. If you bore me, I will move on to the next desperate penis."

So?

Oh, it is the dating app's fault. LOL!

No.

Men today. It is your fault.

And @Dead - this one is all on you.

Just read your posts above and try to look at it like an outsider would, with an objective viewpoint. Then think about how to change moving forward.

 

[Villain]

She also doesn’t take meds for her bipolar

Everything you just said with the mixed signals she sends and all of her actions are summed up right here. That’s all you need to know about her, bud.

And you’re codependent, which you need to work on.

 

[Dead]

Everything you just said with the mixed signals she sends and all of her actions are summed up right here. That’s all you need to know about her, bud.

And you’re codependent, which you need to work on.

Okay so she’s just mentally ill then. That just kinda makes me feel bad…

 

[Dead]

Everything you just said with the mixed signals she sends and all of her actions are summed up right here. That’s all you need to know about her, bud.

And you’re codependent, which you need to work on.

This is the answer I was looking for for forever. I couldn’t figure it out myself. Needed some sort of outside perspective

 

[Villain]

Okay so she’s just mentally ill then. That just kinda makes me feel bad…

This is the answer I was looking for for forever. I couldn’t figure it out myself. Needed some sort of outside perspective

I feel bad for her also based on all of this, but again - I totally feel bad for her kid. That poor little girl.

Yeah man, she’s not stable mentally. If she’s truly bipolar and off her meds, she’s going to have crazy highs and lows and delusions of grandeur.

If you start reading some books on codependency or go to some counseling, your eyes will be open to a whole new world bro. You’ll see things in yourself you never saw before, but eventually you’ll be able to get to a point where you don’t need others to make you happy or feel complete.

 

[MFAAS]

Thanks. I just feel hunilated I let this bitch drag me through the gutter to avoid lonliness. I’m embarrassed of myself. I have no one else she’s literally the only person I know.

Yeah, look is normal to feel upset, but don't go humiliating it embarrassing yourself even more by doing crazy stuff!
I very strongly encourage you to see a therapist and get some better tools for how to deal with these feelings. Really it can make a massive improvement in quality of life. Read some self improvement books. It sounds like you could work on anxiety, anger,

But I’m extremely emotionally impulsive and most situations with people in which I feel super walked on the first thing that goes through my head is then I’ll fuck you up. Cuz if I let it go I feel like I let them win

That's simply not true and you need to change your perspective on it. All you're doing is giving them more power over you which is the exact opposite of what you want isn't it? I would take way more joy in just ghosting someone and having them see how I don't need them at all than giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got so deep into my head that Ipulled up on them screaming and making threats like a psycho. For real, nothing looks more pathetic and lame than a guy standing outside yelling alone like an idiot. If some guy did that to me I would just call the cops and enjoy watching them get taken to jail.

I think you need to get your emotions OUT of your decision making and look at things objectively like from a third person point of view--then you'll see how crazy and lame you look when you go off on people like that. I've never known a self-confident person to do such a thing... such actions always stem from a deep rooted insecurity and self-doubt. Again, these are things that you can address with therapy very effectively and even OVERCOME them.

 

[Dead]

I feel bad for her also based on all of this, but again - I totally feel bad for her kid. That poor little girl.

Yeah man, she’s not stable mentally. If she’s truly bipolar and off her meds, she’s going to have crazy highs and lows and delusions of grandeur.

If you start reading some books on codependency or go to some counseling, your eyes will be open to a whole new world bro. You’ll see things in yourself you never saw before, but eventually you’ll be able to get to a point where you don’t need others to make you happy or feel complete.

I was super attached to my mom as a kid, she passed and shit got weird for me. Whenever I’m in a relationship it feels a bit like my mom ain’t gone as far as she actually is.

So when things like relationships end it feels kinda similar. It’s that bonding intimacy trust feelings that makes me feel empty when it’s not there and whole when it is.

That’s my theory atleast could be wrong

Ya I’m in my 20s like get over it dude but it’s like a deep subconscious thing I think

 

[Dead]

Idk what the fuck her plan is anyways. She doesn’t have one. She has no car. She’s not saving money. Her mom cut her off now apparently now too. No education. A kid .

Unless some dude goes full stepfather mode idk what the he’ll she’s gonna do

I know I know it’s not my responsibility. But like I can see that she is going to need a plan or some sort of perspective to not end up homeless.

 

[Villain]

Idk what the fuck her plan is anyways. She doesn’t have one. She has no car. She’s not saving money. Her mom cut her off now apparently now too. No education. A kid .

Unless some dude goes full stepfather mode idk what the he’ll she’s gonna do

I know I know it’s not my responsibility. But like I can see that she is going to need a plan or some sort of perspective to not end up homeless.

Let go man, unless you’re willing to be that guy.

 

[MFAAS]

Idk what the fuck her plan is anyways. She doesn’t have one. She has no car. She’s not saving money. Her mom cut her off now apparently now too. No education. A kid .

Unless some dude goes full stepfather mode idk what the he’ll she’s gonna do

I know I know it’s not my responsibility. But like I can see that she is going to need a plan or some sort of perspective to not end up homeless.

It didn't matter anymore though, not to you. Her life is her responsibility. So wasting your life and time on this planet worrying about her decisions and instead spend it figuring out how to make YOUR life better.

 

[Dead]

It didn't matter anymore though, not to you. Her life is her responsibility. So wasting your life and time on this planet worrying about her decisions and instead spend it figuring out how to make YOUR life better.

I’m not worried I’m just in awe of the lack of attention to priority.

I’m not willing to be that guy. Apparently this new dude is though. Her roommate said she jumps from guy to guy quickly


I’m not close to many people so when one of the only people I’m close with has mental illness I’m unable to understand what about their behavior is from something I did or about me versus just simply mental illness


THIS was a post on Reddit that seemed like it described her to a T. Sorta


Never dated someone with bipolar but I have dated someone with boarderline personality disorder and it was a nightmare. The relationship was filled with lies, manipulation, endless drama, she cheated on me repeatedly and then when I said I was leaving she threatened to kill herself and started cutting her wrists with a knife. Ended up just calling her mom, explained the situation and said "you better come home, im not dealing with this shit". Shes currently engaged to some guy now and shes already cheated on the poor SOB with one of my friends. Kinda feel bad for her fiance, he's got a tough road ahead of him.

 

[VenomYo]

 

[Dead]

Holy fuvking shit. Her.

Perrin said this was it.

I shouldn’t be this invested but this medical shit is a bit fascinating

 

[VenomYo]

 

[Bigdiddy]

My mind hurts reading this thread!