Personal log from first cycle

[BabaJagga]

i feel bit weird but i will post few photos here...

first one is me around 2 years ago + few months. walking sadness. rest of them is me now. its first time in my life i feel
okay showing myself wo thr world, irl and here for example. its weird, im not used to looking like that yet.

anyway, it will be interesting to see how much progress i can make in next 2 years. i wanna enter my 30's in best shape and form possible.

also i have to say, i have no idea how to shoot photos of myself or pose cause i havent been doin that until last few months.

 

[Eddie.]

Hell yeah brother, you did very good and please stop worrying about "ehm i was expecting more, i wanted to lose a few pounds more" etc. Enjoy your victory, 20 kg loss is not an easy thing to achieve, especially when you care about losing fat and not just weight. You look very good and your body is primed for greater things now.

Also, sorry if I'm ruining it to you but you have to accept that there's no end goal. Even if you reach it you'd want more. It's just a mental thing we all have and personally I'm ok with that because nothing's wrong chasing improvement. Even if you reached your goal today, what then? Imagine going in the gym and do all that stuff just to "not get worse". It's just sad.

So take your rest, enjoy that lower stressed period and come back motivated to reach your next goal.

 

[BabaJagga]

Hell yeah brother, you did very good and please stop worrying about "ehm i was expecting more, i wanted to lose a few pounds more" etc. Enjoy your victory, 20 kg loss is not an easy thing to achieve, especially when you care about losing fat and not just weight. You look very good and your body is primed for greater things now.

Also, sorry if I'm ruining it to you but you have to accept that there's no end goal. Even if you reach it you'd want more. It's just a mental thing we all have and personally I'm ok with that because nothing's wrong chasing improvement. Even if you reached your goal today, what then? Imagine going in the gym and do all that stuff just to "not get worse". It's just sad.

So take your rest, enjoy that lower stressed period and come back motivated to reach your next goal.

thanks mate, you became my inspiration, as ive said before, your transformation is so big its unbelivable.

i wanted to go to 10% or lower, im not sure where im but its not important. im not gonna chase last few kg's now, there will be next future cut where i can do it.

well, my mind works great with short and long term goals, i have to set them hard enough but somewhat achievable so i will have determination to achieve them.
long term goal (for next 2 years) is around 85kg @ 10% bf. i will be 30 in summer 2 years from now so thats my long term goal for now.

after that, i will set new goal. maybe it will be size, conditioning, maybe even stepping on stage, maybe Pl goals etc. will see. i dont worry about it now.

anyway, lot of hard work is ahead of me. cant lose focus now cause i belive this cruise phase will be as important as cut was. hopefully i will manage it, keep trainin intensity high and diet somewhat clean.
again, not gonna lie, yesterday i had pizza for dinner with friend that came for 2 week holyday. i see him few times per year as he works in different country, he is around 8%Bf, also started AAS same time with me, also did stupid transformation and is trully shredded for the first time in his life. it was refreshing and i felt so happy and alive.

im just happy it ended hopefully i didnt do too much dmg healthwise. will see, i will post blood results when time comes.

 

[IndividualMan]

holy shit i completely missed that you made a log, only saw fragments of it in bens log. definitely following along, very nice to put some (rather impressive) progress pics to the username

 

[BabaJagga]

holy shit i completely missed that you made a log, only saw fragments of it in bens log. definitely following along, very nice to put some (rather impressive) progress pics to the username

thanks mate. its not updated that often in here cause im kind of lazy and kind of cause i did not feel like communication with outside world is good for while.. if that was "crashed like e2", holyshit. i understand why its so bad even for few days, i had it for weeks. daaark place

 

[BabaJagga]

since i broke the barrier, i will add photos for reference from time to time. feel free to judge bf% at least somehow if possible.

anyway, push day today. nice workout despite shit sleep, i had less than 4h today.
35mg TNE + 50mg var + 10mg cialis + 50g honey preworkout = godmode. felt like superhero, could lift for 2 more hours. very addictive, super focus and aggresion towards weights.

pull tomorrow morning, without TNE.

yesterday i hit tanning bed with friend, 10mins and im burned a bit, red-ish color and burning feeling, nothing terrible. had first and last 500mcg shot of mt2 for this week. weather went to shit this week, from 36C to 17-18 with rain and wind. weird summer.

78kg currently.

 

[BabaJagga]

lazy weekend update.
yesterday pull workout was suprisingly very good one. morning, fasted, about hour after hgh shot.

i expected it to be kind of meh workout cause i was lazy and didnt feel like it but after first set of barbell rows i magicly gained energy and motivation, left everything in gym. after that i basicly ate for rest of the day and did exactly nothing.
chicken & rice, pasta, curd, lot of fruit.

i havent been eating much of a fruits during cut and now im snacking on apples & oranges.

today was rest day and last day with var @50mg (insert crying emoji)

bacne is slooowly goin away since i removed mast from stack. overall my experience is more negative than positive.
cosmetic effect was there, it wasnt huge (i wasnt lean when i started it) but gave me low e2 symptoms probably, ive felt not good and gave me bacne. not sure if i will be using it again. maybe in future cuts i will try it in low dose, 100-200mg per week but i would rather repeat 50mg var for 8 weeks (summer).

next week during legday i wanna attempt higher volume squats. my goal is to work my way to 10x10 with 100kg, my friend likes that from time to time, he told me it helped him with endurance and cause of that he can push intensity during legdays further.

i will start with 60kgs, sure, its not much but right after cut i expect it to be challanging after 5-6 sets.

if everything will be okay next time i will increase weight and work my way up to said 100kg.

overall squats are great, im happy i can do them again cause of knees. strenght is waaay down after cut so i need to do more volume for now.

 

[BabaJagga]

little update

trainin as always, PPL/R/PP/R

today my head was about to explode for whole day, not sure why. bp is stable around 110/55 but rhr is up since i added hgh + reta, around 75-80. before it was 50-55 so quite big jump. no other issues so far

i almost skipped legday today due head pain but it went away. i pinned 70mg tne into quad and went to gym.

first time i did high volume high bar squats.
10x10 @60kg for start, goal is to work my way to 100kg. it will take a while i think but hey, its start. last 2 sets were challanging, my legs were so fckin pumped...
RDL after that aaand im cooked.

tomorrow will be rest day and im gonna hit the sauna, cant wait. it helps with muscle soreness and also with pip (from tne).
after that push/pull and next week i will take off from gym. week after that i will take it lightly and that will be my deload.
i can feel my joints and soft tissue, im overall tired after this cut, i havent missed trainin day i think, always left everything in gym i had in me... so i would say its time.

about drugs, from this week im off from var, already missing it. hopefully veins will stay
test will stay at 250mg and i will test where im at the end of september or around that time. will see
hgh is at 4iu every mornin, so far no sides.
reta at 2mg, tirz i lowered to 5mg. will lower it further but slowly back to 0.

since i removed mast and added kcals i look more full but not bloated as before on 500mg test, 99% cause i was just too fat.
maybe i will attempt short aggresive minicut for 3-4 weeks before next growth phase as i dont feel lean and ready enough to add weight and dont wanna end up too fat. will see

 

[Eddie.]

hgh is at 4iu every mornin, so far no sides.

How come you take it in the morning? You doing it subc? How much time before you eat?

maybe i will attempt short aggresive minicut for 3-4 weeks before next growth phase as i dont feel lean and ready enough to add weight and dont wanna end up too fat. will see

I don't know about that, it doesn't seem like a good idea. I thought about doing it too in my last year's off season but i skipped it. You can't really lose much in 3-4 weeks, that kind of minicuts work fine with something like DNP and low/zero carb. Or at least hammering the tren and clen. If you simply go to a big deficit you'll mostly lose glycogen, very little fat and perhaps a bit of muscle. If you decide to do this at least start your cycle a week before doing the deficit to counteract any potential muscle loss, just my opinion.

 

[BabaJagga]

How come you take it in the morning? You doing it subc? How much time before you eat?



I don't know about that, it doesn't seem like a good idea. I thought about doing it too in my last year's off season but i skipped it. You can't really lose much in 3-4 weeks, that kind of minicuts work fine with something like DNP and low/zero carb. Or at least hammering the tren and clen. If you simply go to a big deficit you'll mostly lose glycogen, very little fat and perhaps a bit of muscle. If you decide to do this at least start your cycle a week before doing the deficit to counteract any potential muscle loss, just my opinion.

yes, subq into belly.
basicly my morning is chaotic and i dont have much time cause i like to sleep.
wake up, piss, clean myself, shoot hgh, hig shake, dress up and go to work. max 15min from waking up until i leave my house. thats around 8

next meal is around 10 ussually, next one 12:30. also im not very hungry at mornin. ussually i have to force second meal at 10 still. hunger hits me around lunch time

yea good point about minicut. down wanna use tren/dnp, clen sounds fun, i even have unopened bottle of it stashed.
my idea was to cut carbs and hit 1h cardio daily (i have indoor bike at home now) and maybe it would work. not sure if it will be needed tho. im not set on that at all

 

[BabaJagga]

quick update, i had bloodwork this mornin cause friend went also. original plan was to draw blood at the end of september to see how im recovering from var and long blast but i decided to see dmg rn and month after.

i wanted to see cbc, lipids, ast/alt/ggt for liver, cystatinin c for kidney, test, estrogen, psa, homa-ir, hba1c, fasted glucose & insulin and igf1 on 4iu's of hgh. i think thats all

my lab works fast for partial results like lipids and cnc, for other things i have to wait for about week or two, depends.

attached first partial results and im in shock a bit.

liver values are... too good for 8-ish weeks on 50mg var? i used 1000mg NAC daily.
i have even better ggt than before, super low.

ldl is superb considering heavy mast and var use, hdl ofc trashed, tri's (cant spell that) even improved from 0,92 to 0,66. i think thats effect of glp1 use and weight loss. im happy about that.
27hdl and 43 ldl if i convert it to us units. honestly, i expected much worse results.
i microdose rosuvastatin, 5mg oed and supplement with 4g of fish oil daily i think.

cbc doesnt look that bad, hct at 43, hgb still at 151, rbc in range. i have 3 things out of range and i dont exactly know what it means, if someone could explain i would be glad.

crp is elevated and tbh im not suprised. im dealing with pip from tne and also, lot of sick people around me, i can feel some sickness is "passing around me", throat is bit sore and its time for rest.

today was push, tomorrow pull and after that, next week i will be off gym as deload. week after that i will go 50% intensity and that will be my deload, i feel i need it and probably deserve it. i can feel my joints and soft tissue around them, they are tired and beat up. i dont wanna push my luck any further and will rest.

 

[BabaJagga]

also, few pics after workout today. i have no idea how to pose or make photos, use light or anything related.

midsection looks super bloated, with core pump or something like that. it always happens to me, harder the workout, more bloated look i have. it goes away 1-2h after workout.

 

[Eddie.]

Man, you look good! Why don't you shave those legs and flex them? They seem quite good too.

Your labs are fine, i was telling some time ago how much impact NAC has in γ-GT and there are guys saying bioavailabiliy of oral NAC is not good. When i finished my test/primo/50mg var cycle, with 2gr nac per day my γ-GT was 6 (or 0,06 in your range).

That CRP is bad though, pretty bad. Shit, if i go now after the test400 i pinned which crippled me i guess mine it's gonna be high too. Definitely retest in a month, it can mess you up if it stay that high for a very long time. Probably it's gonna drop when you stop the things that lead to inflammation, but just to make sure.

Waiting for the rest of labs, keep us posted.

 

[BabaJagga]

Man, you look good! Why don't you shave those legs and flex them? They seem quite good too.

Your labs are fine, i was telling some time ago how much impact NAC has in γ-GT and there are guys saying bioavailabiliy of oral NAC is not good. When i finished my test/primo/50mg var cycle, with 2gr nac per day my γ-GT was 6 (or 0,06 in your range).

That CRP is bad though, pretty bad. Shit, if i go now after the test400 i pinned which crippled me i guess mine it's gonna be high too. Definitely retest in a month, it can mess you up if it stay that high for a very long time. Probably it's gonna drop when you stop the things that lead to inflammation, but just to make sure.

Waiting for the rest of labs, keep us posted.

thanks mate!

i reeeally dont wanna shave my legs i know it would help with definition but maan im not bodybuilder or big enough .. when i flex them in gym, not even pumped, people turn around and look... maybe one day but i would feel very uncomfortable

NAC seems to helo and maybe even tirz/reta too. im not sure if there is correlation. i will continue to use it for some time (i have plenty left) and maybe i can push those numbers even lower.

but i have reference that my liver is in good spot and i can use var @50mg next summer. look from that is great, i really like it.
my arms when pumped are so fckin stupid lookin that even big guys at gym, that are on juice for long time came to me with "what the fuck is that, are you running tren?"
ot was quite nice.

about crp, im not sure if im sick or if its immflamation from tne. i will stay away from it for while, retest in 3-4 weeks for sure but i feel that i may be sick rather than dealing with issues from that. as ive said, quite lot of people are sick as well rn, with sore throat, headaches and overall tiredness.
i had brutal headache this week, today i can feel my throat a bit and after gym and meal im just resting in bed. will see next week.

sure, i will update rest of the results when they will arrive. for hormones it takes few days ussually, they need to send it to other lab on other side of the country i think. same wirh cystatinin C (hopefully var didnt do dmg)

 

[BabaJagga]

update with complete bloodwork.
blast lasted from end of january until basicly now, or rather last week, around 31-32 weeks with doses from 300mg to more than 1g including oral var. kind of long, not needed and bit reckless but hey, thats me.

lipids looks much better than natural.
hdl is down a bit but i expected worse. ldl is super low so i guess its okay? tri's are also very low

i dont have issue with thick blood so far so thats also good.

metabolic health is improved which is nice, i should be very insulin sensitive and low fasting insulin indicated that my pancreas is not wasting it or at least thats my understanding.

liver values are superb for long oral use. again, 0 alcohol for 4 and half years and counting, no rec. druhg either, or other stress factors. im happy

kidneys took dmg from var for sure.
my last cystatinin c reading was 0,88 and now its increased to 1,02 which is kind of scary. blood test was done 5 days i think after stopping var use and i will retest in 9-10 weeks to see if its improved or not. sadly. var is great compound, probably exact effect from AAS im looking for but kidney dmg is irreversable and im now willing to go to that route.

i had psa tested as well but i dont have previous or natural baseline sadly. i could feel my prostate sometimes in mast. not pleasent. one more reason to not use it i guess.

im on 4iu's of SSA's hgh every morning rn and my igf1 level changed from natural 215 to 242 which is bit.. under my expectations?
im not sure about its use tbh. im still thinkin if its worth the hassle of pinning daily (even tho subq only). test was done maybe 2-3h after morning pin.

about hormonal panel, as expected, kind of.
test / free test is elevated as it should be. i lowered dose by 50mg, from 300 to 250.
my blood levels are not stable yet.

interesting thing is that on last test from mid june my estrogen was in range on same mg's of test with same ai dose/scheadule (25mg aromasin per week). not sure if i should try to get it in range or not, i feel great tbh (finally).

bit of missed opportunity that i didnt test it with peak mast use. i would have had more info about my reaction but it is what it is.

shbg is killed, as expected. very low single digits. it will probably raise a bit during cruise.

overall i would say it could be worse, much worse. but it could be better also.

my body (and head also) needs a break, this week im off the gym and trainin. some bike rides, sauna. more sleep, rest.
weight is stable at 77-78kg's, i had small jump from 76 to 78 and thats probably water weight. if i can maintain it until next blast it would be great, maybe few kg's increase to 80-81 and i would be happy.

 

[Eddie.]

Don't bother with e2, it's not that high. If you're ok there stay there, it's just top of the range.

How long you take HGH? You need enough time until the igf stabilise, from 3 to 6 weeks i think. The rest of labs are ok, only CRP and cystatin c require attention. I assume now you dropped tne crp will come down, hope for cystatin c the same.

 

[BabaJagga]

Don't bother with e2, it's not that high. If you're ok there stay there, it's just top of the range.

How long you take HGH? You need enough time until the igf stabilise, from 3 to 6 weeks i think. The rest of labs are ok, only CRP and cystatin c require attention. I assume now you dropped tne crp will come down, hope for cystatin c the same.

im okay with e2, not bloated, dick works, young chicks looks delicious, not moody, no excess water, i feel great. its just interesting to me that it was lower on same doses of test and ai. probably something to do with shbg.

crp could be due to pip which is gone by now. i will retest and hopefully it will be lower. im not sick, i feel great so its not that scenario.

im using hgh for about 5-6 weeks i think, i started around 26.7 if i remember correctly. again, will retest.

 

[BabaJagga]

deload week so nothin interesting to writte here. its mentally tough to not go to gym for whole week but my body is happy. i could probably go back but will wait until monday next week and for that next week i will take it easy, hopefully.

im happy that i dont need to pin that much oil, 0,5ml 2 times per week into quads, smooth and pipless. during next blast i wont go over 3ml total per week of test so again, smooth and hopefully pipless experience.

i can feel that my stomach is glad that var is gone, head not so much. hard to tell if all cosmetic effect are gone as ive lost all the pump due to not trainin for almost week. will see.

i ran into small issue with subq injections, with some veins on my abs its getting harder to find good spot, ive nicked vein 2 times this week... they are not popped mostly so its not that easy to see them without good lightening but they are close enough to skin. ive been pinning few spots on belly regularly and today i had issue sticking needle in one of those spots, sharp pain and tough to go inside. is it possible there is some subq scar tissue forming?
i had to remove needle and pin different spot. i guess i will need to start pinning different fat areas (glutes?)

with 13-14 pins (2 od them IM) per week its becoming and issue rather fast i would say.

sauna 2 times per week and i feel like brand fckin new guy. it always helps. during this summer i didnt go that often cause its hot outside but i will be goin at least one time per week again.

other than that, life is bit boring. i need to fix my track car, again, cause i wanna attend few trackdays this season, end of september and end of october. during winter i need to work on some stuff on it also, hopefully wont be that expesive... stupid hobby. still thinkin about goin back to bikes and risking my life on every ride...

 

[BabaJagga]

i have to do some cardio during autumn/winter months. i hate it from deepest part of my soul.

doin 30min zone2 daily or 5x per week is .. just no. give me hearth attack instead ...

sooo plan is to do less with more intensity. hiit on stationary bike (which i have at home), 2x per week for maybe 20min.
for last few days ive been searching about it and i would like to do minimal time. as little as possible.

during 7 day week i have 2 rest days and im willing to do cardio on those days. i guess i will start with something like:
lazy pedaling for 5mins as warmup
then sprints with maximum effort, 30s on / 60-90s off. at least thats my idea how to start
6-8x do this interval

that could/should be enough for me to have all cardiovascular benefits without spending too much time on that fckin bike. will see

bp is still stable around 110-115 / 50-55, so low-ish.
rhr sits around 65-75 ussually with reta & hgh. im not too concerned about this, yet.

 

[Eddie.]

Do subq in hips and glutes. I have nicked a vein couple times in belly too and it get bruised and protruding like a bean. It takes 10-15 days to return to normal.