Introduction

[Bjornulfr]

Mandatory hello.

I have autism, so I am not the best at being the most engaging or cooth. However, I will share what I know from studying for a forensic pathology doctorate before leaving graduate school to re-enlist in the military.

I'll cut to the proverbial chase and say I am born female but transitioned to a male at age 40. I take testosterone via a script. I have nothing left that makes me a female, so ... there's that. If it bugs you and your morals, I'm not sure what to say besides I didn't have this procedure for you. It was for me. I knew since elementary school and never needed another person to validate my masculinity. No one should ever have to validate that for you as a man; Same goes to women and their femininity(the world is harder on women, tbh. I couldn't do it. Made respect for cis females). You all got this and the world loves to punch down onto other people. Never let them distract you from your life's goals.

My testosterone cycle is 2.5ml once a week. Sometimes I'll take it twice or 3 times but I'm still waiting to see what my bloodwork is like. Interested in tren but am wanting a small dose. Something similar to my testosterone dose, maybe? Unsure of how these things go and what a low dose would be for someone who is 6'01" and maybe 190lbs now.

Just curious and interested in gains for further masculine appearance. I also loooove having a muscular body. Absolutely adore it. I cannot wait to afford a gym membership again. Recent surgery won't allow me to lift too heavy nor anything in lower abdomen for another 6 weeks.

Suggestions for tren purchase, how much to use, and how to use, frequency, etc... I need it all. Teach the wee babby how to lift and tren --I mean, train. (*cough*).

All advice is appreciated and I thank you in advance. My honesty on my transition is to give a clear picture on any biological considerations, not to incite a debate. I will not tolerate nor reply to hate-bait. You'll just get reported/blocked/and exposed as a bigot. We're all here for the love of fitness and learning how to grow. Let's keep that in mind and ensure the focus flourishes.

Oh. For creatine, I take Bum(the Chris Bumstead stuff. Its delicious! Works great). For protein powder, been using Vega vanilla flavor. I sometimes mix it with Carnation Instant Breakfast powder for all my vitamins when I couldn't eat solid food.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. I look forward to meeting friends here and potentially sharing experiences with them.

Skál.

 

[Bjornulfr]

Meant "mad respect for females", my phone is awful at correcting things that don't need it but also ignoring real typos.

And when I mentioned biological differences, I am not sure how to weigh my biology in terms of "do I go by female standards or male, since I have no ovaries/womb/cervix/etc, and take testosterone?" I use male settings by default now. That's all I was trying to portray. However, mentioning it can ruffle feathers. I am not here to instigate debates and in-fighting, but I did want to be candid so my use of medicine can be accurately suggested. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. Otherwise it would not have been mentioned at all. Medicine needs accuracy.

Thanks again for your time! Everyone be safe, especially with the weather and questionable political climate. Lift and be the best in life.

 

[Psy-chonaut]

"do I go by female standards or male, since I have no ovaries/womb/cervix/etc, and take testosterone?" I use male settings by default now.

Yeah that was what I was wondering too , good Q ?
(I have a hunch maybe female)
But I am not expert in female transitioning ..
Get bloodwork ( -some kind of baseline), and I would start up with a low dose, and go from there....

2,5 ml test once a week, curious, what ester and what is the dosing pr ml ? ( And some times it's X 2 or X 3 pr week, if I understood correctly)


And welcome!

 

[IndividualMan]

Mandatory hello.

I have autism, so I am not the best at being the most engaging or cooth. However, I will share what I know from studying for a forensic pathology doctorate before leaving graduate school to re-enlist in the military.

I'll cut to the proverbial chase and say I am born female but transitioned to a male at age 40. I take testosterone via a script. I have nothing left that makes me a female, so ... there's that. If it bugs you and your morals, I'm not sure what to say besides I didn't have this procedure for you. It was for me. I knew since elementary school and never needed another person to validate my masculinity. No one should ever have to validate that for you as a man; Same goes to women and their femininity(the world is harder on women, tbh. I couldn't do it. Made respect for cis females). You all got this and the world loves to punch down onto other people. Never let them distract you from your life's goals.

My testosterone cycle is 2.5ml once a week. Sometimes I'll take it twice or 3 times but I'm still waiting to see what my bloodwork is like. Interested in tren but am wanting a small dose. Something similar to my testosterone dose, maybe? Unsure of how these things go and what a low dose would be for someone who is 6'01" and maybe 190lbs now.

Just curious and interested in gains for further masculine appearance. I also loooove having a muscular body. Absolutely adore it. I cannot wait to afford a gym membership again. Recent surgery won't allow me to lift too heavy nor anything in lower abdomen for another 6 weeks.

Suggestions for tren purchase, how much to use, and how to use, frequency, etc... I need it all. Teach the wee babby how to lift and tren --I mean, train. (*cough*).

All advice is appreciated and I thank you in advance. My honesty on my transition is to give a clear picture on any biological considerations, not to incite a debate. I will not tolerate nor reply to hate-bait. You'll just get reported/blocked/and exposed as a bigot. We're all here for the love of fitness and learning how to grow. Let's keep that in mind and ensure the focus flourishes.

Oh. For creatine, I take Bum(the Chris Bumstead stuff. Its delicious! Works great). For protein powder, been using Vega vanilla flavor. I sometimes mix it with Carnation Instant Breakfast powder for all my vitamins when I couldn't eat solid food.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. I look forward to meeting friends here and potentially sharing experiences with them.

Skál.

you are man now. No endogenous production + TRT? male reference standard used. no reason to be tied down with shitty underresearched female ref ranges + problems.

only real difference is you dont have to worry about prostate enlargement, but worry more about hairloss.

also, measure your AAS in MG, not mls. 1ml could be 100mg, but it could also be 4-500mgs. if pharma Cyp its usually 200mg/ml, Pharma E could be 250mg/ml. Pharma Test Undecanoate (which is absolute dogpiss, especially Nebido, go get yourself some good UGL Test U with lower BB content) is also 250mg/ml, but has less actual Testosterone due to ester weight.

6ft+ is a good height, tren might not be needed, it also might possibly be dangerous to your mental health (ex military, so probably around some mentally unwell people, even if working in admin, plus possible adverse experiences from childhood because FtM), tren is notorious for worsening mental health even in some people with immense mental fortitude.

IF you decide to take tren, start with low doses (5-10 mg daily/EoD, and work your way up bit by bit)
Adding GH also helps with masculine features if you are on AAS (brow ridge, big nose, big hands, big jaw, etc.) might make you look like an ogre tho (long term at higher doses), so you gotta be aware of that.


Also, source discussion is only allowed in the Underground section, where you will also find all the sources that are operating on this board. Read their threads, look at lab analysis, etc. to see the full picture and gauge the quality of their product.

As for AAS you might want to use besides test:
DHT derivatives: Mast, primo, Adrol, Sdrol, Var
Testosterone derivatives: Dbol, EQ, maybe?
19-nortestosterone derivatives: Tren, MENT, NPP?
remember: always start low, take antioxidants, have AIs and a SERM on hand, BP meds as well, and train with intensity and purpose

 

[Bjornulfr]

You guys are amazing and I am grateful for your advice. Both posts were wonderful. Thank you so much!

For my question on testosterone, I am just instructed by my physician to take 2.5ml which is actually 2.5mg with a 100ml syringe. Sometimes people do take it more than once a week but the increase is gradual. I started off at aye 40 with androgel, a topical solution.

I understand the concerns with cptsd and stuff. Thanks for pointing me in the right place for discussing specific topics regarding tren. I do take Klonopin for my anxiety and I am able to compartmentalize my thoughts a lot. My cptsd was mostly from family abuse. I had a crappy older brother that would abuse me and steal from me due to being on many, many drugs. Yet, I'm the asshole because I'm trans lmao. He's so full of pathetic, pitiful scumbag lechate puss.

Definitely gonna look into the other options mentioned above. Thank you so much!

 

[IndividualMan]

androge

androgel is genuinely piss. It makes me so mad that doctors still prescribe a gel that absorbs so horribly shit.

understand the concerns with cptsd and stuff. Thanks for pointing me in the right place for discussing specific topics regarding tren. I do take Klonopin for my anxiety and I am able to compartmentalize my thoughts a lot. My cptsd was mostly from family abuse. I had a crappy older brother that would abuse me and steal from me due to being on many, many drugs. Yet, I'm the asshole because I'm trans lmao. He's so full of pathetic, pitiful scumbag lechate puss.

dont run tren if you already need klonopin. You are gonna start throwing 45lbs plates at someones head at the gym because they took your machine lmao

For my question on testosterone, I am just instructed by my physician to take 2.5ml which is actually 2.5mg with a 100ml syringe. Sometimes people do take it more than once a week but the increase is gradual. I started off at aye 40 with androgel, a topical solution.

look at the packaging of the compound you are taking. What does it say on it? Testosterone Enanthate, Testosterone Cypionate, or testosterone Undecanoate? (gradual increase makes me think its test U)
It is imperative to know exactly how many Milligrams of testosterone you are on, so you can gauge your reaction to it, and to see how hig hyou can go with the dose. Test is the one thing to just give you more gains in a predictable manner (for every doubling you get around half the gains of the previous doubling) the higher you dose it.

Generally, just figure out how much test you are on right now, get blood pressure meds, a few 100 pills of exemestane, and up your dose. do bloodwork every few weeks to see how your E2 value increases, and start the exemestane once it starts feeling bad/ you notice side effects. (you probably got top surgery already so you wont get gyno)

Have fun! and no tren. I am serious, you are gonna start chucking plates at random people. not fun.

 

[Bjornulfr]

Yeah, had top surgery back in November of 2025. Hysterectomy(full) in Feb 2026. Still sore.

Testosterone is Testosterone Cypionate injection 200 mg/ml on the box and bottle. Very oily. I have to switch needles to draw the solution, then put on a new one to inject into my quad. It has to be IM.

I do monitor my bloodwork (doctor's orders) to monitor my estrogen levels and test levels. I'm a hard stick so I have a problem going on the regular. I had a brief dumb period in my 20s where I got into speedballing cocaine with dilaudid. This makes me afraid to take Dbol because I had Hep C, cured it, my liver is okay but has some fatty tissue. The liver is the one organ that can heal itself so ...there is that.

I like your plan. Increase Testosterone, eh? I have been stock piling the stuff. I have 8 vials. 200mg each. They're supposed to last me half a month or so. I do take klonopin because of my autism/anxiety stuff and that keeps my blood pressure decent but I'll look into the meds you mentioned. Oh and I am on 45mg of methadone due to a spinal injury and my refusal to use opiate pills again. They're too much fun.

I mentioned Tren since it seems to be the "go to" for the time. I don't want to get IFBB size. Just more jacked and more masculine in appearance as a result of that. I know I'm kinda ....amazonian already but you can thank my Norse genes for that. Anyone remember how buff Buck Angel was when s/he did porn? Kinda what I had in mind.

Thanks again, everyone, for being so helpful and open. I did take a dose today. I did 3 instead of 2.5mg. I'm gonna slowly work up to a higher dose then skip a few to test "normal" for my doctor. They want me at a normal male level. So they monitor how well my body is keeping up.

I will admit, when I shoot the test, I get a rush like wanting to flip a car and yell like I slammed a massive rack of weights. So, yeah, maybe tren is not a good idea lol. Throwing plates make me laugh btw.
"More plates more dates, WHAT"

 

[Bjornulfr]

For context, this is about a month after top surgery and finally being able to work on lifting again. I focused on chest. This isn't anything to write home about but its my "beginning" pic, with some minor gains and a very talented top surgeon. (To those in the Cleveland area, Dr. Raymond Isakov is Da Man, and genuinely nice.)

I usually have more facial hair but had to shave body and face for a reason I can't recall. Right pec is sorta distorted because I'm using that arm to hold my phone for the pic. Getting decent rounded muscular build and no "dog ears". Time to bulk on that. Will add more progress as it happens. Need to work on lats again, too. (sigh)

 

[Bjornulfr]

I wanted to add, I'm trying to figure out the 'vacuum suck' abdominal pose. I don't know if it works for someone like me(I'll still have some female physiology, after all). Pointers are appreciated!

I'm also open to any particular exercises, reps and sets to be a beginner at. Right now I am using what appears to be 5lb weights. I go through bicep curls, overhead presses, and then I lean forward and start at the center of my chest and reach out to the side; Like opening my arms for a hug. I don't know what the name of that exercise would be, or if it is one, but I go through reps of 50 each and about 3 sets or until failure. Some days, its only 2 because I'm just worn.

I walk my Dad's doggo for more exercise. We go through the woods. Lately, the snow in Ohio has been a bit of a buzz kill and stopping me from being able to reach the area, but it won't last long.

Oh, and the comment about androgel... YES. It sucks. But, with gender affirmation care you have to hop through these stupid hoops. Even though I was 40, I had to be treated like I had no clue what I was doing and had no control over my own body. Androgen first, then after increasing doses, I move up to getting test IM. 1 shot every other week. Then it went to 1 shot for 2 weeks, then 1 week no shot, and back on for 2 weeks. Finally, I get 1 each week. It's no wonder why I don't have complete facial hair yet and am not happy with my appearance being so unmasculine(to me). I also had all my surgeries approved after awaiting approved length of time on HRT and getting all my letters from psychiatric counselors to approve top and bottom surgery. Then, the day I get my hysterectomy and all, I get a call from my doctor stating my pre-approved phaloplasty was now canceled due to Trump's new policy on affirmation care- A man who cannot tell the difference between Greenland and Iceland, and is butthurt over not getting his Peace Prize for stopping "8 wars" in his brain, he somehow has the validity to tell a 40 year old veteran what to do with their body. I makes no sense. He's also the kind of kid that would go "if we don't play by my rules, I'm taking MY ball and going home!"... Bob Dylan had a peace prize. They're not special, bro. Get over it. Let people lift. Let people be who they are. Let pedophiles go into woodchippers. Jeez.

I'm going to eventually get a new doctor and better insurance. Private insurance. Since military insurance has a weird anti trans policy, even though I'm not active. I plan to either work for a band I was with in the past or go for the salt mines in Cleveland area for Cargill. That's one job that will build muscle and has wonderful benefits out the behind.

P.S.; Suggestions for obliques, lats, and abs are also appreciated. You guys rock and have have been greatly helpful, also a lot of fun to talk to. Throwing plates still makes me lmao. Like I'm carrying them in a backpack like Liver King and flinging them like a Frisbee at anyone who annoys me. Oh man... lolol.

 

[IndividualMan]

I wanted to add, I'm trying to figure out the 'vacuum suck' abdominal pose. I don't know if it works for someone like me(I'll still have some female physiology, after all). Pointers are appreciated!

No eating for an afternoon, morning poop, then you can start by breathing in while you block the inflowing air with your tongue/ the thing that separates windpipe and the one food goes down.
It should be chest breathing, so chest goes up and outward, and the negative pressure deflates your lungs. Its really hard to hold in the beginning, but if you try a few times every morning you should be able to figure it out and get pretty accustomed to it in around half a year

I'm also open to any particular exercises, reps and sets to be a beginner at. Right now I am using what appears to be 5lb weights. I go through bicep curls, overhead presses, and then I lean forward and start at the center of my chest and reach out to the side; Like opening my arms for a hug. I don't know what the name of that exercise would be, or if it is one, but I go through reps of 50 each and about 3 sets or until failure. Some days, its only 2 because I'm just worn.

bodyweight to get into it, pushups+ banded pullups.
get a set uf used dumbbells, the ones where the base is just the grip and you can add 1lb, 2.5lb, 5lb, etc. plates.

lower volume and higher weight is definitely the way to go, excessive volume is going to crush you. Fatigue out the ass.

after doign that for a while and getting up to a good amount of pushups with proper form (25-30) a good amount of strict pullups (4-5) and 10-12kg curls you can look into getting a gym membership (you will already be used to working out so it will feel less odd) most gyms will be alright, but for the standard gyms you might want to grow a full beard first to avoid discrimination. 6ft+ beard + a bit of a tan should be enough to make weirdos not pay attention to you in the mens lockers.

phaloplasty was now canceled

damn. no dih. probably for the better atm tho, because recovery times are horrendous on those. better if you take care of other parts of your dysphoria first.
and again, beardmaxx.

Get yourself a good dose of test (250, slowly up it to 400/week over the course of a year or so) and do all this and you are gonna be golden. also, get a bit leaner if you wanna see abs (BF% will slowly lower over time as your body adapts to you being a fella long term)

in the future you can look at all typa drugs to get yourself lean, right now you just need to watch your diet (more carbs, more protein, more fibre, low fat) and do serious resistance training. watch some basic excercise videos on youtube (calisthenics stuff for example, chris heria type shit) to get a better idea of what is possible, what is good form, etc., and then start with the aforementioned basics. doing this for a good while combined with strenght training and a bit of cardio will make you look like a real strong dude. also, train your goddamn shoulders, every inch on your bideltoid measurement makes you look 5x more masculine.

 

[IndividualMan]

Also, LOOK AT THE MILLIGRAMS OF TESTOSTERONE YOU ARE GETTING especially if you start buying from a US domestic lab. there is a green numerical arachnid one who has some good deals on test C iirc.
The quicker you get comfortable at a real dose, the quicker you get your desired masculine features.

 

[Bjornulfr]

I'm seriously copying all of this. I already watch my diet pretty well. I honestly have a hard time eating as much as everyone else lol. My protein and creatine drinks in the morning make me happy. I looooove me some baked chicken breast(skinless. Boneless), veggies. However, no one is perfect. I'm sure I can inporve in some way.

And yeah, trying to get my dang beard going. It takes about 5 years of straight testosterone in a transition for it to start growing in. To cover my chest scar, I was gonna get a tattoo. I also have a packer, which is actually able to be used to urinate out of. Sometimes they like to wander around so you gotta have the right underwear. If you look up reelmajik, you'll see what I mean. Just be forewarned; silicone fake dongs for passing as a male will be seen. They're not "toys",(though, I know they make them) which is why I'm not afraid to mention them. Also, if other trans dudes are here, you can look into that for passing(and pissing!). Make up can also conceal my scars. Mascara can highlight my facial hair that is blond for some reason in patches. I used to be platinum blond but recently my hair began to turn black. I'm like a brindle pitbull lol. Can't wait to beardmaxx. It's my main daydream subject outside of getting buff.

I LOVE calisthenics! I'm glad it was mentioned. My shoulders used to be bigger but lost it. I never could do a pull up and would love to get there. If I follow your suggestions, I think I'll get there.

As for the testosterone, I'm gonna try to not use up all of my stockpile. Just in case Trump targets that next. But, I hear ya. Slowly work up, just like in my vacuum suck, and in my work out.

Everyone who commented, you all did it in beast mode. Very helpful, insightful, easy for my autistic butt to understand, and you did it without judgment/trans hate, and full embrace of a fellow fitness enthusiast. I love it! You guys rock and I am still very thankful. I can't think of any other questions and definitely am saving the answers here.

Stay safe. Skál!

 

[Bjornulfr]

This is my testosterone supply. Bottle and box that each vial comes in. I hope this helps.

 

[IndividualMan]

Just in case Trump targets that next.

go UGL ffs. never be dependent on a benevolent government for your base medication needs. They are gonna come for these medical services soon. Better to be prepared.

US domestic basically cannot get intercepted and is dirt cheap. get a year or two worth of UGL testosterone so you do not need to use your pharma Test cyp. you can stockpile that if you want to, but having moe is always better.
most UGLs have similar concentrations to the stuff you are using, so you are good on htat end. just please, for the love of god, stock up on testosterone.

also, minoxidil for beard. oral tabs can lower blood pressure and make you more hairy overall they are better against hairloss tho, so you gotta decide between that and topical application.

 

[PiscesMoon]

Welcome to Meso @Bjornulfr Thank you for making a quality introduction. Glad you are joining in. Cheers!

 

[Bjornulfr]

go UGL ffs. never be dependent on a benevolent government for your base medication needs. They are gonna come for these medical services soon. Better to be prepared.

US domestic basically cannot get intercepted and is dirt cheap. get a year or two worth of UGL testosterone so you do not need to use your pharma Test cyp. you can stockpile that if you want to, but having moe is always better.
most UGLs have similar concentrations to the stuff you are using, so you are good on htat end. just please, for the love of god, stock up on testosterone.

also, minoxidil for beard. oral tabs can lower blood pressure and make you more hairy overall they are better against hairloss tho, so you gotta decide between that and topical application.

Minoxidil? Got it! As for my testosterone, I love my stockpile. I have 8 boxes now and 4 more refills(4 in each refill). I think I'm okay for now but a back up plan is definitely worthwhile. You got a great point there. I have to get income again to stock up. Right now, the VA and my United Healthcare coverage has been fine with keeping me covered.

Btw, is Turkesterone a bunch of garbage like I think it is? And I don't mean the crap from Coach "squeaky voice" Greg Douchette. Just the stuff in general. You seem to have a lot of knowledge on supplements and all that, and I was areas curious. Never wanted to buy any but it screams "snake oil" to me, lol.

Welcome to Meso @Bjornulfr Thank you for making a quality introduction. Glad you are joining in. Cheers!

Thank you, so much. I'm enjoying the great help and so forth from everyone. Skál!

 

[Bjornulfr]

Ugh. "always curious" is what I meant. Dang phone. That wasn't my English failing me that time, but it does happen.

 

[IndividualMan]

Btw, is Turkesterone a bunch of garbage like I think it is? And I don't mean the crap from Coach "squeaky voice" Greg Douchette. Just the stuff in general. You seem to have a lot of knowledge on supplements and all that, and I was areas curious. Never wanted to buy any but it screams "snake oil" to me, lol.

turkesterone/all ecdysteroids are pretty useless. Eating a handful of grass has about the same effects.
They dont really do anything, and they are significantly more expensive than actual steroids.

 

[Bjornulfr]

I figured as much. Thank you!