Am I being an asshole here?

[insaiyan93]

I dont think you're wrong for not liking him.

However, the most important thing is does he treat your daughter well? Because at the end of the day that's really the only thing that matters.

 

[Demondosage]

Have you tried being the one talking to him? Probably have, but why not just talk to him about it. In a calm non confrontational way ask him him why he doesn't talk to you, or if you intimidate him? Ask him if you are doing something to make him standoffish. Tell him your daughter likes him and you want to like him as well, but you just don't know him yet. Be inviting to him and give him every reason to talk to you. Find common ground or interests. If this doesn't work at all then fuck him you tried atleast. Gotta admit as a young kid trying date your daughter you gotta be an intimidating figure.

Yea, I've tried all of this. I talked to him about cars and soccer, he's into auto tuners ( I guess you call it that) and soccer, no response whatsoever. He has a dad but his dad is a drunk loser. I met the guy once before and was not impressed at all. Kid seems hard working, treats her well, he's not a bad kid. He just isn't the type of person I could ever see being comfortable around on holidays or visiting or whatever. He's a fucking mute. I hope she finds someone with a better personality.

My thought exactly on his personality are that he's a timid little bitch who won't ever stand up for shit. If you can't even speak to a girls dad (stepdad, might as well be Dad because that idiot isn't in the picture anymore) after 2 years something is wrong. Kid acts chemically off to me, just a go with the flow guy just existing

 

[HIGHRISK]

Yea, I've tried all of this. I talked to him about cars and soccer, he's into auto tuners ( I guess you call it that) and soccer, no response whatsoever. He has a dad but his dad is a drunk loser. I met the guy once before and was not impressed at all. Kid seems hard working, treats her well, he's not a bad kid. He just isn't the type of person I could ever see being comfortable around on holidays or visiting or whatever. He's a fucking mute. I hope she finds someone with a better personality.

My thought exactly on his personality are that he's a timid little bitch who won't ever stand up for shit. If you can't even speak to a girls dad (stepdad, might as well be Dad because that idiot isn't in the picture anymore) after 2 years something is wrong. Kid acts chemically off to me, just a go with the flow guy just existing

Maybe he was abused by his alcoholic father and has serious trust issues with men. Especially ones that are big as fuck. Just a thought. It's a tough situation as a father I understand. But at the end of the day as long as he treats your little princess good and never lays a hand in her then that's about all u can ask for.

 

[JohnLong]

why not tell the little fucker to just talk. tell him you want to hear his opinion. tell your step daughter you want him engaging in conversation or you find it rude. 2 fuckin years... jesus christ lol. who the fuck does this kid think he is? if your daughter cant relay the message to him and get him to respond differently i would just tell your daughter he's not welcome in this house. but you probably should of done that at the 3-6 month mark

 

[Leancuisine]

Regarding protecting your daughter,

This is just my personal experience, but I have NEVER had to fight unless I put myself in that situation. I've only been in 1 fight that was not a result of my own actions. I have been in fights over girls, but it was more of a territorial, idiot kids in puberty trying to impress a girl stuff.

I just don't foresee a situation where a guy would have to actually fight because someone is trying to steal his girl. Our society isn't like that anymore. Ive walked around everywhere with my wife, and there have been situations where guys walk by us and completely ignore me and greet my wife and compliment her. Doesn't bother me, they are being respectful, and it makes me feel great that other people see her beauty.


Got a bit off topic there. But the only thing that would bother me is the fact it's been 2 years. Even if the kid was abused by his father.... 2 years, the kid has to have at least some trust with you.

 

[hurricane]

Ok, I want some input from you guys. My stepdaughter is 17 years old, almost 18. She's been dating this kid for 2 years now. He never speaks and I dont even know him. I've tried to talk to this kid, I've taken him on trips with us, I can't get 2 sentences out of him.

Now, my issue is this; 2 yrs in I feel like I should somewhat know him. When I was dating in high school I knew the girls dad and spoke with him. So I guess I just think it's a little ridiculous that after 2 yrs I know nothing about this kid. Would you guys start to kind of not like him by this point? Would you be thinking "WTF?"

I understand that maybe my presence is intimidating to a teenage boy, but come on, after 2 years? I dont like the kid because he doesn't speak to me and acts like a pussy. When I try talking to him he's often lost in his phone or juat responding with 2 word answers. What would you guys think?

Ok, I want some input from you guys. My stepdaughter is 17 years old, almost 18. She's been dating this kid for 2 years now. He never speaks and I dont even know him. I've tried to talk to this kid, I've taken him on trips with us, I can't get 2 sentences out of him.

Now, my issue is this; 2 yrs in I feel like I should somewhat know him. When I was dating in high school I knew the girls dad and spoke with him. So I guess I just think it's a little ridiculous that after 2 yrs I know nothing about this kid. Would you guys start to kind of not like him by this point? Would you be thinking "WTF?"

I understand that maybe my presence is intimidating to a teenage boy, but come on, after 2 years? I dont like the kid because he doesn't speak to me and acts like a pussy. When I try talking to him he's often lost in his phone or juat responding with 2 word answers. What would you guys think?

How does he speak to your daughter?? Do you 2 share any interests together(sports, hunting). I would simply sit him down and ask him if anything is wrong. The kid may want to talk to you but is intimidated by your hugeness. Is he respectful upon entering your home? Does he at least say hi to you and your wife??
Tough situation bro. But I think it's very admirable for you to care so much about your step daughter. Your a stand up dude in my book.
P.S. Don't kick his ass!!

 

[Demondosage]

Regarding protecting your daughter,

This is just my personal experience, but I have NEVER had to fight unless I put myself in that situation. I've only been in 1 fight that was not a result of my own actions. I have been in fights over girls, but it was more of a territorial, idiot kids in puberty trying to impress a girl stuff.

I just don't foresee a situation where a guy would have to actually fight because someone is trying to steal his girl. Our society isn't like that anymore. Ive walked around everywhere with my wife, and there have been situations where guys walk by us and completely ignore me and greet my wife and compliment her. Doesn't bother me, they are being respectful, and it makes me feel great that other people see her beauty.


Got a bit off topic there. But the only thing that would bother me is the fact it's been 2 years. Even if the kid was abused by his father.... 2 years, the kid has to have at least some trust with you.

I dont really mean standing up for a girl in a fight situation, you're right, like when would that really happen? But, plenty of other situations where it doesn't hurt to be forward. For example, trying to fuck you over at a car dealer, a rude restaurant patron, someone on the street harassing you, you get my drift here I think, just someone who will have a set of balls. If the dude can't speak to me then its not a good start. He should be over the whole bodybuilding deal already after 2 yrs. I've tried being funny, talking to him, bringing him places with us, etc.

But here's the real kicker....the little shit is all over her in front of me. So he can't be THAT scared, I just think he's an asshole with no respect. I finally said something in front of him one day. He was sitting there running his hands through her hair and doing all this lovey dovey bullshit around me and I said to my stepdaughter, "Please go on this rollercoaster and puke so he'll gtf off you" (We were at an amusement park)

 

[Demondosage]

Here's another example....hes in my house one day and he is laying on the bed with her watching TV. I walk into the room and try talking to him and he doesn't even sit up to speak to me. No, you know what, I've answered my own questions here...fuck this punk!!!

 

[JohnLong]

Here's another example....hes in my house one day and he is laying on the bed with her watching TV. I walk into the room and try talking to him and he doesn't even sit up to speak to me. No, you know what, I've answered my own questions here...fuck this punk!!!

pull him to the side and let the little dickhead know whats really good!!!!
give him one last chance and let him know its his last chance
im pretty young (25) but i've never in my life acted like that
as long as your step daughter is not an adult you pull the strings to make things work and your say is the last and only say
good luck!

 

[Bundy55]

Different generation bro. They're all phone zombies with zero social skills

 

[Mayne]

Ask him to come to meso and speak here if he is afraid of you in reality.

 

[Leancuisine]

Here's another example....hes in my house one day and he is laying on the bed with her watching TV. I walk into the room and try talking to him and he doesn't even sit up to speak to me. No, you know what, I've answered my own questions here...fuck this punk!!!

Hell yeah brother. I don't like him either from what you've said. If I ever have a daughter, I don't know how I would react to anyone touching her. You're a level headed and calm guy. Sounds like you've got your shit squared away and are a good dad.

 

[miketee]

Kick his ass seabass

 

[VaginaShark]

Here's another example....hes in my house one day and he is laying on the bed with her watching TV. I walk into the room and try talking to him and he doesn't even sit up to speak to me. No, you know what, I've answered my own questions here...fuck this punk!!!

Now we're getting more of the picture. That's definitely disrespectful. It's one thing to be shy but you don't get all over a girl in front of her father and then not talk to him.

Sounds more like a lack of discipline.

Maybe some hard gym sessions and a stern talk would be the way to go.

 

[VaginaShark]

If he shows no improvement after that you could always wait until he turns 18 and then provoke him into hitting you. I mean at that point you'd have no choice but to defend yourself.. lol

 

[Rockclimber]

the little shit is all over her in front of me. So he can't be THAT scared, I just think he's an asshole with no respect. I finally said something in front of him one day. He was sitting there running his hands through her hair and doing all this lovey dovey bullshit around me

Fuck that little shit. That's so disrespectful...

 

[JC456]

Respect and common decency. If he's in your house, in your car he should at least be standing up to shake your hand and make small talk when you arrive.

He's not necessarily being an asshole on purpose though, he's a kid who hasn't been taught better so don't fly off the handle because that would make you the asshole and probably no different to his dad. Remember you're the adult here and you have the chance to make a positive difference in this kids life.

So I would explain to him in no uncertain terms that you expect a handshake and some conversation when you see him. Then over the coming weeks he'll see how good that feels for him to relate to an adult father figure in this way.

 

[miketee]

I’m sure I don’t need to state the obvious but if you try to push him away, that is going to make your kid want him even more. If him being a mute is a problem for you, I would talk to your daughter to see where his head is at. Personally I don’t care that my kids b/f doesn’t speak. I actually prefer it this way. Lol

 

[Jankauskas]

Ok, I want some input from you guys. My stepdaughter is 17 years old, almost 18. She's been dating this kid for 2 years now. He never speaks and I dont even know him. I've tried to talk to this kid, I've taken him on trips with us, I can't get 2 sentences out of him.

Now, my issue is this; 2 yrs in I feel like I should somewhat know him. When I was dating in high school I knew the girls dad and spoke with him. So I guess I just think it's a little ridiculous that after 2 yrs I know nothing about this kid. Would you guys start to kind of not like him by this point? Would you be thinking "WTF?"

I understand that maybe my presence is intimidating to a teenage boy, but come on, after 2 years? I dont like the kid because he doesn't speak to me and acts like a pussy. When I try talking to him he's often lost in his phone or juat responding with 2 word answers. What would you guys think?

Hes a punk-ass bitch

 

[Sk8man101]

I’m sure I don’t need to state the obvious but if you try to push him away, that is going to make your kid want him even more.

Not if he's dead...