Found the funniest research paper yet!
This is some crafty shit! Comedy gold, I didn't know researchers had a sense of humor but this is hilarious. I have never seen anybody write like this before.
@Michael Scally MD I figured you would enjoy this!
Check out the full article, I have included some bits only:
An inexpensive and edible aid for the diagnosis of puberty in the male: multispecies evaluation of an alternative orchidometer
An inexpensive and edible aid for the diagnosis of puberty in the male: multispecies evaluation of an alternative orchidometer
"
Deeply concerned by the national shortage of orchidometers, two of us (PB and GW) made a
serendipitous discovery that led to this study. Briefly, Teasers and Truffle, two chocolates in the Celebrations assortment (Mars UK, Slough), are uncannily similar in size and shape to the 8 ml orchidometer bead (figure). This observation presented a timely opportunity to cut clinic waiting times and costs, two problems that continue to dog the NHS. We therefore compared the conventional orchidometer with its chocolate surrogates, focusing on the key properties of reliability, durability, and
palatability."
"Five paediatricians (three male, two female) were blindfolded and given, in random order, a Teaser or an 8 ml orchidometer bead in a Teaser wrapper and asked to size the other beads as larger or smaller than the reference.
(Real testicles were not used because the image of the medical profession is already bad enough.) Participants were 100% accurate in sizing the beads against both the Teaser and the reference."
" The orchidometer bead survived both tests whereas the Teasers yielded to a single blow of the hammer and
ruined a perfectly good bathrobe."
"The ability to rescue staff weakened by hunger at the end of a long clinic is an important bonus for any item of medical equipment. Intuitively, chocolate has more potential in this respect than the Swedish birch of the conventional orchidometer. Regrettably, GW was unable to persuade PB that proving this point could be important for her career; accordingly, S and P were recruited to the research team. Teasers (n=5) and Truffles (n=5; all unwrapped) and 10 orchidometer beads were scattered randomly 30-40 cm away from P and S, who had recently been fed (Burns Canine Maintenance; Burns Pet Nutrition, Kidwelly, Dyfed; about 600 kcal) so that there would be some chance of seeing what was happening. About 17 seconds later all that remained were 10 orchidometer beads
and some saliva. We regard this as evidence that Teasers and Truffles are more palatable than conventional orchidometer beads."
"We believe that we have found a viable substitute for the time honoured but outrageously overpriced orchidometer.
We do not wish to diminish the contribution of Prader, father of the orchidometer, nor to impoverish the wood turners who craft its beads with such skill.3 However, the low cost of our alternative orchidometer (6p (10¢)) must endear itself to healthcare systems that are strapped for cash."
