Hayes88
Member
Seems you are set in your opinion and won't read the entire thread, so I guess we won't come further there
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Do you hallucinate or have been?
- Thread starter Hayes88
- Start date
I'm came here with good intentions and I am as open minded as can be.
Now you act like a bitch, using female tactics, just because you're upset because you don't like what you hear. It's not unusual: Anyone who interferes with drug users' drug usage gets this treatment.
You should me thanking me, since I took the time to contribute and attempt to help figure out what you have going on. It's not easy to come public with mental health issues.
Since you refuse to answer the questions, perhaps that is an admission that you use marijuana and hallucinogenic substances.
Once again, those substances will create the exact symptoms you described, even if you use them once or a little, and I suggest you avoid them.
Hayes88
Member
Na neither I nor anyone else is thanking you or your inflated head. I have answered your question and I did so in detail, you refused to take that answer from pure arrogance and went to the same statement as your original post. That is not being open-minded with the best intentions, that is wanting to be right.
Me being diplomatic ending that conversation is acting like a bitch, again going for being right and not being decent in the slightest.
"Do you use marijuana or hallucinogenic substances? Please write your exact use. Details."
That again is a statement, not a question, part in how you formulate yourself and part that it came second time after me stating "I believe more in spirits than me testing drugs a few times in the span of 10 years would cause it." plus "Well I have one bad experience with mushrooms 10 years ago and done xtc a few times at festivals".
I also provided an extract based on your "HPPD" example.
Adding "You should me thanking me" is a horrible attitude. You say the same if an old lady fall down the stairs and don't want your help to get up?
So while you may have thought you had good intentions, you instead made the thread worse.
Drug use is a common topic in this regard, I do agree with that. Same asking someone if they smoke or drink during a check-up, but damn you gotta read.
Now we are several here who have been open with what we've felt, seen, experienced and that is great! I would love to keep in that way, so again being diplomatic, let's both be a-holes and wrong here so we can move on.
WeightLossBurn
Member
Everyone is different and everyone reacts to drugs differently. Weed made me paranoid when i started playing with it. Now it just makes me happy and hungry. Shrooms are interesting, but significantly less harmful psychologically than weed. For those that have done weed and haven't tried shrooms due to fear, there is nothing to fear. Popcorn ceilings are trippy to look at. However, shrooms don't induce paranoia. So you may have some visuals with the popcorn ceilings. But you can easily stop that by looking away. And you are literally in full control. Mentally may be even relaxed. The white devil makes you paranoid, but it's not draining. The reason being that you don't even realize you are paranoid. You keep looking out the door, but your really don't know why you are.
Sorry for the long winded response. But what I'm trying to convey is that HPPD is not a factor at least for me. The messed up truth is that some people can do gear and other drugs and live into their 90s. While others are prone to cancer and other genetic deformities directly from birth. The one thing that I did notice is that gear does have the ability to keep me mentally/emotionally stable. Which makes me believe that hormones do have a very strong effect on mental health. Hence my initial recommendation to reduce your dosage of gear. I always ran gear at the lower dosage. 1 ml of test cyp / 1 ml of Primo at the height of my usage. So I believe it's possible that too much gear may be mentally taxing for some.
So hard to reply. Got a joint in one hand and a bong in the other. And something is giving me oral sex under the sheets but i dare not look till im done. My wife would hate it if it were a goat sucking me. And i would hate to tell her i couldnt tell the difference.
Life is so complicated. But pleasure is pleasent enough to get me through to death.
Hayes88
Member
A lot of truth here! So if I bring in my own experiences (and at some as a spectator).
My two step brothers both smoked a lot regularly. Both became what I would consider "slow" and overly uninterested and relaxed, but also both got very very creative (painting and tattoo's in this case). When both stopped one became fully recovered when the other did not. One brother started a slippery slope seeking new highs and blamed all bad outcomes on others, the second started a family and worked hard. Both interestingly enough lost a huge part of the creativity after. I wonder if mental state before use dictates the outcome after use? Just speculating. However, paranoia and a need for more information (often conspiracy's) seems to have followed all my close ones who smoked for a prolonged time. But I know that is far from the majority, at least imo. Most are kind, stable and loving as I've seen it with no hallucinations in any case from what I've heard (marijuana).
My shroom shake experience was horrible and I literally thought all blood was going out my nails, eyes, ears etc, never done it again since^^
My few xtc experiences has been wonderful! In combination with the right music and people it's indeed a love drug with right mix.
I have avoided drugs for fear of not being mentally strong enough.
AAS made me happier and filled me with self-confidence. One example just now. I was on mast, npp, test, tren (stopped sdrol) just now and a guy threatened me for made-up reasons at my home. I felt no aggression at all and no adrenal response (I suffer here normally unable to control the spike). I just stopped and went down to trt dose test now for life reasons and now smallest things triggers all my anxiety and adrenaline, can't control it at all. Just riding it out, but as you said, hormone influx has a huge inpact and fast. Just look at our dear ladies.
I like the way you tell a story like moses. You seem to wander aimlessly around in the desert and then say here we are. It is funny dude but hard to follow. Not as confusing as my ramblings but close second.
Peds are the same for me. There is a sweet spot where im not agressive or depressed.
Glad you chose a different path to your brothers. But you do have their creativity.
Be yourself. Many people here like you so be happy with that.
Im sure glad ive hade this oppertunity to know you.
Peds are the same for me. There is a sweet spot where im not agressive or depressed.
Glad you chose a different path to your brothers. But you do have their creativity.
Be yourself. Many people here like you so be happy with that.
Im sure glad ive hade this oppertunity to know you.
This is very unusual for you my friend. I know your passion is to care and help but you are showing a little passion that comes accross as agression. I know you so i know this isnt your purpose.
Hayes is new. Just weeks in i think he just wanted info not to share his life with strangers.
Im sure in time he will answer your question. But for now let him judge who is friend and foe.
Ive known you since i got here. I have no secrets from you. Give him a chance. Rec drug usage can be a sensative subject.
Im too messed up myself to try. But as i said i know you my friend.
Hayes88
Member
Thank you my brother and I do appreciate you! And I do gotta say that the people of Meso has so far been great. No one is perfect and we all have good or bad days, and I am no better. Also hard in text since the tone and bodylanguage is not there.
But all is well, very happy for all the shared experiences, surprised anyone would comment at all.
And the ecstasy will cause the same symptoms. That's the worst one of all. It's truly brain modifying. Skip ecstasy and just use pure stimulants if you want to do anything at all. Stimulants, are safe despite what anyone tells you. It's only your discipline that matters with those.
Ecstasy will destroy your brain. End of story. Use it on the rare circumstance to make a breakthrough in communication or something, but try to never do it.
Ecstasy will destroy your brain. End of story. Use it on the rare circumstance to make a breakthrough in communication or something, but try to never do it.
Hayes88
Member
Yeah in this case I don't wanna use anything at all anymore. I seek to start a family, hopefully end next year and I have (luckily) found a very nice woman, so interest to run around drunk or high kinda died haha
Like many here with a past, it does create some scars, some still bleed, but finding the right people to keep around you truly gives you a new set of healing power.
AlwaysHungry
Member
I smoke for years (10-12) I've never been slow all my sensations are the same 100% baked or not I do the same things every day baked or not ill get my job done efficiently and professionally every day and I'll take care of my family every day baked or not! Does not matter if you're baked or not I know people who become fucking silly and slow after a joint because they let themselves! Discipline matters the most have your mind at the target be aware of your surroundings 24/7 baked or not , it's just some people Discipline that pot gets a bad reputation, me I'm using to relax I won't let anything get out of my sight or a job undone because I smoked some joints , ridiculous.
WeightLossBurn
Member
Well said. I grew up with a significant amount of anxiety. Immigrant parents trying to make ends meet. And their failures resonating in their anger towards me. I don't think my classmates knew about that because I put on a bullshit persona of confidence, intelligence, and most importantly being a class clown.
I started the reply with that because you have issues with anxiety. It is showcased in your reaction to drugs. When I was young and anxious, I was terrified when stoned. But as I got older I used weed as a tool to produce great work and creativity. Your shrooms may have been different than mine, but I sense that you were to nervous prior to tripping which caused a bad experience. To put things into perspective, I shroomed with a friend after eating a significant amount of edibles. We saw an animated movie in a theater filled with moms and kids. The whole time his face looked like it was melty and moving around, as I thought I was just seeing random lights all over the theater. A brief moment I was thinking, this is crazy. But then said to myself enjoy it. It won't last forever.
I really started enjoying life mentally after starting gear. I really did not expect the positive mental effects. And I love the last sentence that you wrote. My marriage gameplan is to just say as little as possible. Because every day is different with the every changing world of the female emotion.
Hayes88
Member
Sad to hear you had to go through that bro and thank you for sharing... It always start with the parents/ siblings (or relatives/ system if parents are gone), then when they are not there anymore and school starts you get tested alone and can easily be broken down. That is why kids need mental fortitude before school... Some get lucky, some gotta put up a mask or grow up way to fast. I hate when people who hasn't gone through crap in life just states "why didn't you just walk away when he tried to punch you?" or "why don't you just think positive instead of negative?"...
In my case I had a weak dad regretting most his decisions in life and taught me to run away from everything, and I had a mom which cultural upbringing tought me I was always wrong in presence of her and others. They had their great moments of course, but the combination of always be wrong and run didn't really help me growing up. They also had a history, so I understand where it all came from growing up. In my case I also became the class clown, and kids rarely see anything at all unfortunately, especially since being in the center of attention (even from hurt) usually gives some kind of popularity. Similar to the girls always dating the guys beating people up or who act arrogant.
You are probably right regarding my experience. This is why I believe being with the right people/ friends is paramount. Last time I did E I had a group of people with me and what I would call a Witch Doctor. He had full knowledge what does when and how. His aim was us having fun, so all took different stuff and he checked our eyes, pulse, hydrated us, was amazing haha.
Oh very true! Gear in combination with a decent woman is even better! You have the support as you get in a relationship natural, but in combination with learning cooking together, more s*x, more stable and intense communication (from mental effect and want to be physical), progression since she loves your body and might have the same hobby (being fit), even (at least for me) injecting me so I don't need to learn yoga just to reach. A lot of benefits. However, as you mentioned, say as little as possible is very smart!
I have actually tested that part willingly when I was single and in relationship. I wanted to see if women was indeed interested in real communication or if that was just another thing women say and mean another. I learned that the less I say the more they want to talk, wonder what I am thinking about, if I am ok. If we don't fight or if I don't show a more dominant side, the s*x becomes less or at least less present (animalistic). The more I show love the less love I receive, it has to be random and seldom when she least expect it. We can always be genuine gentlemen, but we gotta be careful showing or talking too much, we gotta stay "mysterious" and "manly" if that makes sense.
JesterBOB
Member
My brother smoked and smoked systemically and we all watched him become slower and his brain worked worse.
AlwaysHungry
Member
My best friend was like this finally he convinced his self to stop smoke and was his back old self! Then he got into drinking..
My brother when he smokes is slow , me on the other hand I'm not I'm relaxed but not slow and it doesn't interfere with my daily life.
I'm not looking like a stoner/smoker also when someone happens to know it because we're about to smoke together they all fall from the sky.
Sad story bob. Do believe this is your first open post where you have said something about your family. You normally keep it tight. Maybe one day we may learn a little about you.
Have to admit that although I'm much older than most here I've tried it just once. Drinking and smoking make me worse. I go silent and sink deep into the darkness of depression. Even just one beer and I'm silent and sad.
Yep I'm no life of the party. I kill a good party. Xmas time I just go to sleep while the rest of the family drink and party at my house. Have never stayed up for new years. Never.
Get me in the gym and I don't shut up. I'm talking to everyone. Like here where you are all my friends. In real life you wouldn't talk to me. I'd bring you down.
