Going off, at least for a long while

[Atillah67]

I have cycled t and other AAS for 4 years. What benefits in the short term!
But it has gotten to the point where I could only get erections at the beginning
of a cycle and the month following being off. Everything else in between left me pretty much impotent. The amount of women I attracted but could not have sex with or didn't bother trying with because of all of this is probably close to 100 names if I write them all
down. But its gotten to the point where my girlfriend that I actually did care about left me
and I live a life of complete isolation now. Still running 300 mg of t a week with 50 mg of d bol. currently. I know once I go off, I will lose most of my gains, I finally do not care.

I dont care if I no longer attract 9s and 10s. I simply want to be able to have a meaningful relationship with a partner long term. I have basically forgotten what sex feels like. My dick is mostly a piece of flesh that just hangs from my body. I cannot imagine what a day time, natural erection even feels like. Given all of this, I am assuming I must stop them and stay away for a long time and slowly see if my body recovers. How do I know if I've done permanent damage? 34 years old, occasionally get morning wood, occasionally not.

 

[SauceBoss]

I would get to pulling bloods and seeing where the culprit lies first .. i know when I come off I’ll be going to a doctor

 

[weighted chinup]

How do I know if I've done permanent damage?

In your previous thread, you mentioned going on AAS to deal with these issues in the first place and it worked - at first.

Because these issues existed before to some degree, how could you possible know if you've done permanent damage? I guess if your situation is no worse than prior to starting gear, but I wouldn't count on that until your hpta normalizes, which will take some time.

As someone who deals with depression and anxiety and realizes how interconnected these issues are, there are certain phrases and sentences in your post and in your previous thread that leads me to believe the long term solution to your problems isn't drugs but a therapist or psychiatrist. You write in a certain way that is all to familiar to thought processes I am all to familiar with.

If you immediately dismiss the fact that there is a strong mental component at play causing these problems then you are not going to put yourself in a winning position.

Of course, anything I say is pretty much pointless for your situation because I'm not a doctor. I'm also pretty sure the 2 doctors who are actively posting are going to tell you to see your doctor as well.

 

[Atillah67]

Agreed. There is a strong mental component. Originally, when I took soley T at my 30th birthday, it had many positive mental effects, one of which was I no longer had much insecurity and confidently pursued women and performed reasonably enough. I would be able to guarantee sexual function for about 2 months with viagra.

It stopped working around that time. But since it had been so helpful, in many areas of my life, I began to become very confused about what was causing what and what served a positive purpose and what didnt.

One doctor suggested I had blown out my system and TRT dosages for life starting at 34 were a possibility. I couldn't afford to see him more than a few times due to paying out of pocket. I see some retried bodybuilders and they are openly TRTing, with little kids running around and happy wives in the picture. Clearly, some men can sexually perform regularly with a trt dosage, in fact some claim it helps (as you would imagine).

Again, my dick isnt completely useless all the time. When I begin a cycle, I am a walking erection for a few weeks almost, but then it switches over very quickly into impotent and only returned a bit after I have gone off, and then turns off again for months at a time. I will see a doc being off, but I cannot find a US doc on my insurance that wants to touch me with a 30-foot pole if Im on. It could also be the region of the US where I live, which is fairly provential.

 

[Atillah67]

In your previous thread, you mentioned going on AAS to deal with these issues in the first place and it worked - at first.

Because these issues existed before to some degree, how could you possible know if you've done permanent damage? I guess if your situation is no worse than prior to starting gear, but I wouldn't count on that until your hpta normalizes, which will take some time.

As someone who deals with depression and anxiety and realizes how interconnected these issues are, there are certain phrases and sentences in your post and in your previous thread that leads me to believe the long term solution to your problems isn't drugs but a therapist or psychiatrist. You write in a certain way that is all to familiar to thought processes I am all to familiar with.

If you immediately dismiss the fact that there is a strong mental component at play causing these problems then you are not going to put yourself in a winning position.

Of course, anything I say is pretty much pointless for your situation because I'm not a doctor. I'm also pretty sure the 2 doctors who are actively posting are going to tell you to see your doctor as well.

ALSO.... I have been on lithium for the past 1.5 years. Lithium is actually shown to make roughly 15% of the men who take it sexually dysfunctional on its own. I am in the process of working with my doc for a substitution. On lamictal and steroids, I was able to guarantee sexual function with a bit of viagra and sometimes MT2 if things were rough. Nothing worked the past year. So quite possibly, the lithium has not been helping the situation.

 

[Atillah67]

I would get to pulling bloods and seeing where the culprit lies first .. i know when I come off I’ll be going to a doctor

Got the blood drawn today. Results should be in in a few days. Docs I have don't really want to help me. I need better insurance.

 

[LeoTC]

In your previous thread, you mentioned going on AAS to deal with these issues in the first place and it worked - at first.

Because these issues existed before to some degree, how could you possible know if you've done permanent damage? I guess if your situation is no worse than prior to starting gear, but I wouldn't count on that until your hpta normalizes, which will take some time.

As someone who deals with depression and anxiety and realizes how interconnected these issues are, there are certain phrases and sentences in your post and in your previous thread that leads me to believe the long term solution to your problems isn't drugs but a therapist or psychiatrist. You write in a certain way that is all to familiar to thought processes I am all to familiar with.

If you immediately dismiss the fact that there is a strong mental component at play causing these problems then you are not going to put yourself in a winning position.

Of course, anything I say is pretty much pointless for your situation because I'm not a doctor. I'm also pretty sure the 2 doctors who are actively posting are going to tell you to see your doctor as well.

Just wanted to note the general appreciation for this post in it's entirety.

 

[Dead]

ALSO.... I have been on lithium for the past 1.5 years. Lithium is actually shown to make roughly 15% of the men who take it sexually dysfunctional on its own. I am in the process of working with my doc for a substitution. On lamictal and steroids, I was able to guarantee sexual function with a bit of viagra and sometimes MT2 if things were rough. Nothing worked the past year. So quite possibly, the lithium has not been helping the situation.

Ding ding ding I’m willing to bet that’s ur issues right there I would get bloodwork done and consider an alternative option to lithium. My unprofessional opinion. Not a fan of psychiatric drugs.

 

[Atillah67]

Well, I was foolish enough to think I would get much out of a NuMale clinic. They did take my blood, had an NP analyze my levels. T
1036, E2 75, which he suggested needed to be brought down.
NP himself talked for as long as I had questions, explaining that my symptoms led him to believe the issue could very well be hormonal/psych med related more than an actual blood flow issue.

He was going to actually write me a script for Arimidex and HCG, or so he claimed. Money guy comes in and explains I will need to sign a year contract and pay upfront for a year`s worth of medications. Shockingly, I was scammed. Reading their reviews before leaving for the clinic this AM, I knew my chances of not being scammed were 10%.

Lost 140$. But at least I did have a blood test and some discussion with an NP. Clearly, I need better insurance. I had blood drawn two days ago and will get those results back today. I am assuming similar results.

So, having to treat this myself has been a disaster. I will go back to out of pocket endocrinologist but in the meantime, it could be assumed I should likely dose some Adex and see if it lowers my E2, back into the 40 range as he suggested. T level was pretty low considering I`m TRTing.

 

[Havah]

Why are you on lithium and at what doses and what are your lithium blood levels ?

Also high doses of AAS can perfectly ruin libido in the long term on their own, even if thats not something you will read on the forums

Good job on quiting and best of luck

 

[Atillah67]

Why are you on lithium and at what doses and what are your lithium blood levels ?

Bipolar diagnosis since 19. transitioning off lithium to lamotragine which isnt shown in clinical tests to cause ED in some men. Lithium is a bit notorious among a minority of men for just killing sex drive.

I have the drive, I just get soft erections.

It wasn`t a urologist like I wanted, but the NP`s explanation did make sense. I have great erections for the first few weeks of taking T, then it levels off and goes to shit. When I go off T, a month after useage I start getting natural good boners again, but only for a few weeks during PCT. Then it goes back into the shit and last time, stayed that was for 6 months.

 

[Atillah67]

here we go. problem areas detected.

 

[BushLeague]

I cannot say much with use of AAS, but with depression meds I do have a bit of experience with.

I actually had to change doses and then medication because I had to the drive to have sex, but would go soft as soon as it was sexy time.

I experienced this multiple times and at some point I basically stayed soft, while still being horny af.

With that and the mental side of trying to perform or worried that you cant, you have a recipe for failure to launch.

 

[Atillah67]

I cannot say much with use of AAS, but with depression meds I do have a bit of experience with.

I actually had to change doses and then medication because I had to the drive to have sex, but would go soft as soon as it was sexy time.

I experienced this multiple times and at some point I basically stayed soft, while still being horny af.

With that and the mental side of trying to perform or worried that you cant, you have a recipe for failure to launch.

It has been my suspicion that the bipolar meds were the original source of real issues. The extra t overrode it for awhile, but in the end, didn`t fix the problem. I`m one of these people that no one would ever know I have any depression issues or bipolar diagnosis UNLESS I got off my meds.

I decided to transition off of lithium. My sex life got even worse comparing lamictal to lithium. Can I ask what meds you were on and what messed you up? Did you ever find a solution?

 

[Atillah67]

I cannot say much with use of AAS, but with depression meds I do have a bit of experience with.

I actually had to change doses and then medication because I had to the drive to have sex, but would go soft as soon as it was sexy time.

I experienced this multiple times and at some point I basically stayed soft, while still being horny af.

With that and the mental side of trying to perform or worried that you cant, you have a recipe for failure to launch.

Welbutrin restored morning wood once my relationship ended. WB is one of the few anti-depressants to not known to cause libido issues in men.

 

[Sworder]

Welbutrin restored morning wood once my relationship ended. WB is one of the few anti-depressants to not known to cause libido issues in men.

Libido and impotence are two very different things! I would bet my money that it's your psych meds that are causing your impotence, this is well documented.

 

[BushLeague]

It has been my suspicion that the bipolar meds were the original source of real issues. The extra t overrode it for awhile, but in the end, didn`t fix the problem. I`m one of these people that no one would ever know I have any depression issues or bipolar diagnosis UNLESS I got off my meds.

I decided to transition off of lithium. My sex life got even worse comparing lamictal to lithium. Can I ask what meds you were on and what messed you up? Did you ever find a solution?

Venaflaxine was one of them. I dont remember the other. Honestly, what worked was cutting the dose in half and then later on I just weaned off.

Most people on or off didnt know I had some pretty bad depression and anxiety. Things have changed and Ive leveled out, but thats not for everyone.

Sometimes its a lower dose. Or a different medication.

All in all, a doctors going to be the best to figure this out with you.

 

[Atillah67]

Venaflaxine was one of them. I dont remember the other. Honestly, what worked was cutting the dose in half and then later on I just weaned off.

Most people on or off didnt know I had some pretty bad depression and anxiety. Things have changed and Ive leveled out, but thats not for everyone.

Sometimes its a lower dose. Or a different medication.

All in all, a doctors going to be the best to figure this out with you.

I wish I had had great experience with doctors. I have visited various urologists many times and after viagra and cialis didn`t work, they thre their hands up in the air and prescribed me trimix, but never showed me how to inject it. Pretty abysmal care on medicaid, but I just graduated so I will be able to afford private insurance in October.

When I asked about an ultrasound or something that measured blood flow in the penis, the urologist said he had never heard of such a thing. The private clinic in town doesnt even accept out of pocket.

The endocrinologist did not but bitch at me for doing testosterone and just prescribed me clomid. She never discussed my E2 levels. Its just seemed that no one will take my experience seriously. This has been going on for 3 years. I went off totally for 6 months just prior to getting back with my girlfriend. Things worked for a month, then fell off a cliff, just like 2 months into trt doseage. Its just seemed like nothing has worked and no one can give me any answers.

My t level at 27 was 300. I felt like shit all the time. No doctor took me seriously. They looked at my bloods and said ``we do not consider you a viable candidate for trt``. I had every symptom of low t known to man, and yes, I was on these psychiatric drugs. They barely kept me ok. T basically fixed most mental problems while on- depression and concentration disappeared, until ED started to creep in again, then depression was a massive problem again, for rational reasons.

 

[Atillah67]

Libido and impotence are two very different things! I would bet my money that it's your psych meds that are causing your impotence, this is well documented.

You may well be right. It took awhile for the Lamotragine to rob me of my libido, it crept in over years before TRT. People kept telling me it was just psychological. Well, if the psych drug youre taking is creating a chemical problem, then its not only just something I can snap out of.

I was still able to perform w t and viagra while on lamictal, if I really got into it. With lithium, its like my dick just fucking died. I actually switched over to lithium thinking it would help. Stupid me. Its been 4 days off, doc is giving me lamotragine in the meantime and eventually to transition off of that. The worst part is from what I read, many with lithium caused disorder continue to have it for awhile afterwards.

But if its that cuasing the major issue and not a trt dosage that keeps my t LEVEL at 1050 (which the doc considered optimal levels), then at least I know and start to re-build my life, somehow.

 

[master.on]

I have cycled t and other AAS for 4 years. What benefits in the short term!
But it has gotten to the point where I could only get erections at the beginning
of a cycle and the month following being off. Everything else in between left me pretty much impotent. The amount of women I attracted but could not have sex with or didn't bother trying with because of all of this is probably close to 100 names if I write them all
down. But its gotten to the point where my girlfriend that I actually did care about left me
and I live a life of complete isolation now. Still running 300 mg of t a week with 50 mg of d bol. currently. I know once I go off, I will lose most of my gains, I finally do not care.

I dont care if I no longer attract 9s and 10s. I simply want to be able to have a meaningful relationship with a partner long term. I have basically forgotten what sex feels like. My dick is mostly a piece of flesh that just hangs from my body. I cannot imagine what a day time, natural erection even feels like. Given all of this, I am assuming I must stop them and stay away for a long time and slowly see if my body recovers. How do I know if I've done permanent damage? 34 years old, occasionally get morning wood, occasionally not.

1 How do you know for sure it's steroids causing ED?
2 Does Viagra help?
3 Do you get erections watching porn? (Only meant as a diagnosis aid, not advising to actually watch porn nonstop)
4 How do you know excess estrogen ain't causing ED? You mentioned that you do fine when off or when beginning a cycle = times when estrogen hasn't skyrocketed.