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FutureMrO

FutureMrO

New Member
Hey guys it’s been a while since iv posted but good to be back. Unfortunately it’s not a good topic. And I’m not sure if it’s the right place to post this. But I’ll give it a go and see how we go.

Okay guys so I’m 23 and I’m dating a girl who’s 21 we’ve been dating for 2 years now and it’s been amazing like we are deeply in love and we definitely see a future together.
But for the last 3 months we’ve been arguing a lot and some days not talking for a day or 2 and it’s because iv been working with a coach and my body has completely transformed from gym rat to someone who looks serious about bodybuilding.

But my body isn’t the problem the problem is that we don’t spend enough time together. I work long hours from as early as 6:30am some days till 4/5 in the afternoon and after all that you guys know I have to train cardio meal prep for the next day ect. We don’t live together and that makes things a little harder, and with all that going on we sometimes only see each other 1 time a week or even once’s a fortnight. And even then I can’t go out and have dinner with her or go out eating junk ect due to the dieting.
With all the arguing of late as much as I love her I feel as she deserves better someone who’s more like her?. Someone who’s not into this lifestyle a normal guy who’s chilled and can do all them things? But at the same time It would kill me to see her with someone else. And I also feel as things may get more shitty before they get better because I’ll be starting my prep soon and I’m sure some of u guys know how much of a killer that can be on a relationship especially if it’s struggling.


So what do you guys think I should do? Should I lay back on the dieting bodybuilding something that I love extremely. To keep the person I love or would the right thing to do be letting her go even as hard as it may be ?

This may sound like a joke or something but it’s been fucking with me for a while would love some feedback guys.


Cheers fellas:)
 
True love sacrifices and that goes both ways, but as a general rule, the man sacrifices more. Who or what is your truest love - is it her or is it your bodybuilding? If you gave one up over the other, what would you regret the most?
 
We’ve spoken about ending it and iv always caved in and brought us together. As much as I love her, I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop bodybuilding.
Not that I think I’ll be the next Phil Heath but when I started I was extremely fat and bullied at school, and it’s truly changed my life. Sometimes it’s about getting away from everything and it’s truly my happy place and the dieting just makes it that extra bit challenging.
 
FutureMrO said:
We’ve spoken about ending it and iv always caved in and brought us together. As much as I love her, I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop bodybuilding.
Not that I think I’ll be the next Phil Heath but when I started I was extremely fat and bullied at school, and it’s truly changed my life. Sometimes it’s about getting away from everything and it’s truly my happy place and the dieting just makes it that extra bit challenging.
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You’re still young bro and have your whole life ahead of you. The person you decide to spend your whole life with should have similar goals and passions or at the very least, they should support your goals and passions and you theirs. In my opinion, it really does come down to what matters most to you. It sucks to have to decide, but in this case, it sounds like you don’t have a choice. Who or what is your true love? Only you can decide, but it doesn’t sound like she is willing to be second place to your bodybuilding.
 
T-Bagger said:
You’re still young bro and have your whole life ahead of you. The person you decide to spend your whole life with should have similar goals and passions or at the very least, they should support your goals and passions and you theirs. In my opinion, it really does come down to what matters most to you. It sucks to have to decide, but in this case, it sounds like you don’t have a choice. Who or what is your true love? Only you can decide, but it doesn’t sound like she is willing to be second place to your bodybuilding.
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Thank you for the kind words and you definitely have good points you’ve made I’m starting to think I know what might be the best think to do as hard as it will be.



We would make time bro but we are only free Sundays due to work haha:(
 
have you told her exactly how you feel the way you have in your opening post? if it were me id let her know just how important she is to you and just how much the bodybuilding means to you. I say remove any chance of misunderstanding as she may think youre just not that into her which clearly isnt the case. Clarity is always best in any relationship. If it doesnt work out then you've got PLENTY of years to find someone whos a better match as we're usually totally different people at say 30 than we are at 24 so dont give up on your dreams
 
shady said:
have you told her exactly how you feel the way you have in your opening post? if it were me id let her know just how important she is to you and just how much the bodybuilding means to you. I say remove any chance of misunderstanding as she may think youre just not that into her which clearly isnt the case. Clarity is always best in any relationship. If it doesnt work out then you've got PLENTY of years to find someone whos a better match as we're usually totally different people at say 30 than we are at 24 so dont give up on your dreams
Click to expand...

Thank you for the kind words brother have been talking about it for sure will talk to her and explain it but I’m starting to get what might be the better thing to do.
 
FutureMrO said:
Not that I think I’ll be the next Phil Heath
Click to expand...
But your Meso handle is...

Jk

It’s a decision man. One you need to make with your goals and priorities in mind.

One thing I will say is doing this thing and having a life takes extreme care and planning.

I have a wife, a kid, a house, and a full time job. It’s doable. It isn’t easy. It takes sacrifices on both sides. Could I be further in my bodybuilding career if I didn’t hve what I have outside of it? Yeah. Do I regret it? No. I make sacrifices to any free time I would have to make sure my wife and child don’t want for anything. Bodybuilding is mine, but that’s about all that is mine alone. I still fuck up regularly. You cannot expect someone to completely understand and plan/consider bodybuilding a priority to them.

As for your half of things: Stop prepping every night. It takes an hr or two twice a week. Are you dieting year round? Build date nights into your diet; cheats or just accounted for cals. How long are you spending at the gym? Is your entire walking life discussing bodybuilding?

It sounds to me like you both could work harder for this. That being said, adding prep at a time like this and expecting good results isn’t wise.
 
If you guys are serious Move in together my old job use to be 14 hr shifts an a hour drive there an back then GTA shower work out eat etc.it didn't leave much time for me an my wife but it makes a huge difference when you can lay in bed an talk before u fall asleep then actually sleep together an wake up together it doesnt sound like a lot but sometimes life kicks you in the dick an u just GTA weather the storm it all depends on how serious u guys are
@FutureMrO
 
Something to consider...

Look at all your top pros in the sport. Do any of them ever show appealing or fulfilling lives OUTSIDE of the stage, appearances at shows and expos, etc?

The majority of IFBB pros are divorced/never married for a reason. FFS Phil left his cancer-fighting wife. The ones that do have wives typically have competitor or fitness minded spouses.

Does that mean it’s impossible to be a bodybuilder and maintain a level of reasonable selfishness to maintain a life? No. It’s just less common than the alternative.
 
If the girl is wifey material than make some changes.

Imagine how obsessive your bb lifestyle must look to anyone else.
They all see it as a beauty contest for dudes.

Give her a call, shoot her a text.
Let her know that you are thinking about her.

Or message your coach and tell him how much he means to you.
 
Wow thanks for the feed back guys I wasn’t sure how much I’ll get but a fair bit I see, she is definitely wifey material haha. We will talk about it today maybe take a break for 2/3 weeks see how that goes try to show that we do love each other. ☹️
 
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