Thank you. Maybe talking to someone would really be the best option.
But would you have to discuss with a therapist every single issue you struggle with for
example self-esteem or insecurity or what not in order to hear what he has to say on how
to deal with this? Because then I'd have to probably go there for years in order to unravel
everything. Or does he give you standard solutions which you can apply to all kinds of problems?
In cognitive therapy, the focus shifts onto the thought processes themselves as opposed to the things you are thinking about.
The reason why it is so helpful to have someone to talk to when doing this is because we rely so heavily on our though processes in daily life that we can't help but assume that the logic behind these processes is sound. While it is certainly not impossible to see the flaws in your own thinking, it is a lot easier for someone else to see the flaws in your thinking since they do not rely on
your thought processes the way that you do, and are thus more likely to see a flaw standing out. Cognitive therapy is the process of going back-and-forth with someone about these distortions; the therapists job is to make it clear to you that the distortion in fact exists by showing you concretely where it is causing you to come to incorrect conclusions.
Once you see this, then you replace the cognitive distortion with more sound logic, and see how it affects the conclusions you've arrived at. This whole process of identifying the distortion, replacing it with sound logic, and seeing how your conclusions change happens again and again in cognitive therapy. It gets easier and easier, and then you can just do it on your own, and no longer need the therapy. It has an excellent success rate.
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So to answer your question: just make sure you find someone who's experienced in cognitive therapy, and make it clear that this is where you want to spend your time and energy. Of course, you will find yourself drawing from your daily life to illustrate where your current sources of stress are, but make it clear that the kind of therapy you are after is in identifying cognitive distortions, and in being shown how these distorted though processes can be replaced with more functional ones.
