Grizzly-My coaches certainly didn't give us a break on any form of running..and i never ever had it easy i honestly don't know how i made it thru any of it, especially conditioning. I think it was the thought that one day the coach would stand at the bottom of the hill we ran up, and i could use my momentum to kill him. but that never came true...any how.
I never knew i would go into a starvation mode. I normally only eat 1-2 meals a day. Nothing reallllly big, but i think its mainly from soda, I drank soooooo mcuh soda. I only drink a can of diet soda a day now, and the rest is all water, so that should stop all the problems there. I have a hard time following a diet where i have to eat even 3 times a day, let alone 6. I am to busy with school, and work, to actually stop and have a meal. I eat when i wake up, when i get home, and thats it. I really am busy, I'm practicly never ever home between going to school in the day, and going to work at night on week days, and trying to study, and keep up on paper work etc. right now I'm still on vacation from school so I have alot of free time. I'm afraid I won't lose weight if i go over 2,000 calories. Isn't 2000 what we need to like maintain current weight? That was why I chose 1800, I couldn't be taking in any more then 2,500-3,000 from food. from soda i could have been taking in around 2,000 alone. At this point in the game I really don't wanna be fat any more. I always was chubby, but im not a small built person, I'm built to play football, as a lineman, or if i could get the fat out, a line backer. but i don't wanna even lose this mad extra weight i picked up, i want to get lower then i ever was (as far as bf%) And I have to do it soon. Alot of this has to do with the fact that its effecting my outlook on life, and as a psychology major I know its mind over matter..and fat is just a problem, which can be solved so I'm not in danger of anything bad happening. I just don't have confid ence in myself right now, I feel like it doesn't matter about anything at all. And i know once I get the weight loss rollin, I'll feel alot better. I felt great this afternoon when i just got done lifting, eating healthier, and doing cardio. i already felt alot better about my self, and everything. I really miss an ex girlfriend of mine that i fucked up real bad with when i was "mr. football player" and i took her for granted, and now I wanna get back with her, and i can't even get her attention, mainly because I was an incredible asshole to her, but I would feel alot better about trying to get back with her if i wasn't a fat ass. And I can't stand being with out her any more, which is making me want to lose weight more and more. I have so many reasons to push, and get this done, so I hope I can stick with it, and see results in the near future.
Kemo-I'm going to research DNP as much as I can. From what I see on here it seems as if its the most effective, and coincidentally the most dangerous(?). Im nervous about even using any drug to get this process rolling, but I'm so sick of being fat ,like it makes me sick actually...and i don't even wanna be myself right now. So I gotta get the fat burning.
I want to thank everyone for all the advice, comments, and help. especially grizzly, and kemo.
btw if anyone has good advice about how to get someone who hates u to want to get back together with you, I am looking for that as well. haha