Sorry to hear you feel shitty all the time kid. I've been there, was like that for many years. Listen to the constructive part of what these guys have told you. Maybe they didn't have to add insult, even if you are young cocky, and bouncing from thread to thread for validation. Still there is no excuse for the bashing some members take part in for their own validation(want for belonging), due to their lack of having real-life social needs being met, social development, insecurity, or what ever. What ever the case, we were all young and eager at one time. We all wanted to improve ourselves physically for different reasons, and we were willing to do whatever it took. But like I said, these guys are right. What they didn't tell you is that for now, your body should still be flooded with testosterone, so you have no need for any exogenous test, and you most likely wont for another 5 years. Around the age of 23 years or so, in most cases, is when test production will begin decreasing. Maybe then you can start with some test. Of course all this advice is for if you have some idea of safety on your mind. Although when I was your age I paid no mind to safety, it still does not warrant me to advise you the way I was. There are other alternatives to cycling with test. All AAS share the same side effect of decreasing the body's natural testosterone production, but in varying degrees, some more so than others. Thankfully there are measures you can take to lessen that side effect. So do lots of research before you finally come to your decision. With that said, I recommend you see a psychologist or some licensed/certified councilor for your lack of selfesteem and motivation in life, which you most like have because of depression. Also you clearly have to work on your English communication skills.
Test levels don't decline at 23.