My testosterone never fully recovered ! im depressed and have suicidal thoughts

[Trex90]

Hello

i have used 3 cycles in the past and i never fully recovered..

1st cycle was 500 mg cyp for 12 weeks nolvadex as pct

2 cycle was 750 mg test enathate for 12 weeks aromasin pct

3d cycle was 500 mg test E for 12 weeks with 40 mg dianabol the first 4 weeks...no pct


after this i think it became to much ...i was already 124 kg and i was working out so much i could not focus on my studies so i went completely off but continued training hard....i actually kept alot of strenght and size, but i added alot of fataround the waist. i became sleepy at daytime, had to take small naps after work and felt exhausted all the time...no energy, no motivation and everything was shit...so in the end i stopped working out and focused other things...i lost all my gains and now 3 years later im 85 kg slim , no muscles back where i always wasbefore i even worked out.....

it has now gotten worse....im depressed on and off all the time. i can suddenly cry at work for no reason. i cant have stable relationship cause i cant perform in bed and i have become a whimpy little bitch instead of that alpha male guy i was ...i also have alot of brainfog, and its really hard to concentrate at work or remembering things

i have tried to work out, but its impossible...if i just do some curls or squats , im sore for like 3 weeks and cant walk properly...my restoration period is like 4x times then normal. im also exhausted all the time and have no drive whatsoever..

i took som bloodwork and my test was at 250 ng dl or 8.8 nmol..

my doctor said i had a little low test but was either way fine. because my levels was just right over the hypogonadism chart. he gave me testosterone gel which i liked alot, my brainfog dissapeared within minutes and my strenght and energy went up. but this effect tapered off...i think its because when u take gels u will have both test from gel and natural production, but then natural production shuts down, and you have only testosterone from the gel...

i have been thinking about going on trt for a loong time. but i have not done anything to do shit about it cause im afraid i will loose my hair....i have had some thinning , but still have full hair . dont know if its is other causes or dht..

what is the best trt protocol that worked for you ? and will you loose hair on a low dose like 200 mg test E a week ?

and do you need hcg or anti E?

im really depressed guys, i have lived like this for several years....i dont want to live anymore. i want to give up on life

 

[Spooby]

Guys don't seem to understand that even 500mg is actually a pretty high dosage of testosterone, it's enough to warrant a post cycle therapy and hcg use tbh... and there's always a risk of not coming back from it. Have you heard of hcg and clomiphene?

 

[ConanTheBruhbarian]

Go on TRT/HCG asap. Find a legit doctor in your area and leave the rest to him.

 

[Docd187123]

Go on TRT/HCG asap. Find a legit doctor in your area and leave the rest to him.

Um, no...

 

[Docd187123]

The test gel helped within minutes is priceless.

 

[Demondosage]

You're having suicidal thoughts, cannot have sex, and your biggest fear is losing your hair? Jesus, please get on TRT and just shave you head, you'll be thankful you did

 

[ConanTheBruhbarian]

Um, no...

And why not? At the very least this dude needs to see an Endo, further determinations can be made from there with the likely result that the bloodwork would show a need for TRT

 

[jaymaximus]

And why not? At the very least this dude needs to see an Endo, further determinations can be made from there with the likely result that the bloodwork would show a need for TRT

Obviously you didn't actually read the original post where he states he got bloods, saw a doctor, and was given TRT (GEL). But he doesnt want to take it for fear of hair loss.

 

[Dimentio]

You didn't go through PCT on the last 2 cycles and wondering why you're having issues?
Classic example of uneducated AAS use.
Good luck on your road to recovery.

 

[ConanTheBruhbarian]

Obviously you didn't actually read the original post where he states he got bloods, saw a doctor, and was given TRT (GEL). But he doesnt want to take it for fear of hair loss.

My bad I totally missed that. Take the damn gel man. Wtf. Consider getting set up with some injections as they are superior all around.

While anything is possible, your worries about hair loss are largely unwarranted on a standard TRT dose, especially a gel. There are a host of threads on this, but Test will only accelerate what you are prone to genetically, and this is usually for AAS doses anyway. So take the damn shit. If you can't stomach that than I guess it's really important for you to have perfect hair at your funeral after you kill yourself. That is basically the extent of your logic.

 

[master.on]

1 First HCG + Aromatase Inhibitor
Try to see if a Dr can prescribe it to you

2 get blood tests after 1 to 3 months

3 if T is still low
then HCG + AI + T

 

[Docd187123]

And why not? At the very least this dude needs to see an Endo, further determinations can be made from there with the likely result that the bloodwork would show a need for TRT

Well this post is by far the worst in the thread (see Masteron's post at the bottom)

But to answer your question, I don't disagree with seeing the doctor part, only about jumpin on HCG and TRT ASAP. Before that step is necessary one should see the doctor, do a full medical history, and run more blood tests to try and determine the cause of the problem first. If it's something correctable without needing TRT why would you skip over that route?

1 First HCG + Aromatase Inhibitor
Try to see if a Dr can prescribe it to you

2 get blood tests after 1 to 3 months

3 if T is still low
then HCG + AI + T

 

[ConanTheBruhbarian]

Well this post is by far the worst in the thread (see Masteron's post at the bottom)

But to answer your question, I don't disagree with seeing the doctor part, only about jumpin on HCG and TRT ASAP. Before that step is necessary one should see the doctor, do a full medical history, and run more blood tests to try and determine the cause of the problem first. If it's something correctable without needing TRT why would you skip over that route?

Doesn't really seem like bad advice to tell someone who was already given the option to go on TRT to go on TRT? I personally would if I was diagnosed with any amount of relatively low T. HCG included because it shines as a method of keeping natural production online during TRT.

 

[Dr JIM]

A LOW TT DOES NOT RESULT IN SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PERIOD! At the very least this fella NEEDS a full psychiatric evaluation and I promise he's been there and done that.

His motives are dubious at best! Tread not on this thread bc the devil is in the details, few of which "we" have, and that IS deliberate on behalf of the OP!

Adios

 

[Trex90]

You didn't go through PCT on the last 2 cycles and wondering why you're having issues?
Classic example of uneducated AAS use.
Good luck on your road to recovery.

Dont judge me...i had a hard time growimg upp all alone and in a bad neighboirhood. My steroid dealer also tricked into buying moore doses but didnt care aboit pct

 

[Trex90]

A LOW TT DOES NOT RESULT IN SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PERIOD! At the very least this fella NEEDS a full psychiatric evaluation and I promise he's been there and done that.



His motives are dubious at best! Tread not on this thread bc the devil is in the details, few of which "we" have, and that IS deliberate on behalf of the OP!

Adios

Yes it does. I have several other friends who suddenly quit and are at same position as me. Lack of motivation and drive wants me to not take this anymoore

 

[Trex90]

Does anyone here have any good trt protocols? Or know of any....after researching and have talked with other famous bodybuilders and some fitnessmodels this is what they say

Example 1 from fitness model...
250 mg sustanon a week with tamoxifen

From bodybuilder jean flux :
50 mg e3d and 500 iug hcg every 3 days...he said this would keep my lvls stable

And last advice i got was trying nebido....but i jeard from others it has peaks and lows all the time


And everyone on this forum is talking about 200 mg test a week..is this good?

Do anyone have any ecperince or knowlegde??

 

[Trex90]

The test gel helped within minutes is priceless.

Yep it did...or atleast the same day. It was like everything became clear to me. I could think straight and concentrate

 

[Trex90]

You're having suicidal thoughts, cannot have sex, and your biggest fear is losing your hair? Jesus, please get on TRT and just shave you head, you'll be thankful you did

Then i would look like a ugly piece of shit. And if i loose my hair it will never come back...

 

[SwolevaDex]

Meso needs to consider the srs tag system because not sure if srs

Srs

No offense to the board but this isn't the place to be getting help with this... Go to the fucking doctor dude. Yeah low test will make you tired but not suicidal. No motivation to lift? Suicidal thoughts? Dude, you're fuckin depressed my man. That's not something a needle is going to fix.

You were probably somewhat depressed when you started AAS and that's a big no no my friend. Makes you much more vulnerable to "addiction" to the feeling you get when you're on.

Everybody here is super knowledgeable but we can't help you with your mental resilience. See a doctor ASAP. And talk to your family and friends....