It's not quite the miracle drug Ghoul makes it sound like. (Glad it works for him, truly).
I've had it prescribed since 2007. I "felt" it for about the first 1 week and then not much noticed aside from more of what he reports - slight alertness mostly noticed more when I don't take it. (As in..."hmmm...I'm missing something today by not taking it.")
You probably have some sort of drug interaction going on (or a bad batch of the drug?). If it is making you feel even remotely suicidal, don't take it.
You can try Armodafinil (the purer version he mentions sometimes) but it may not be any better. May be best to stick with more traditional ADHD meds until you get it sorted out. (e.g. Adderall, Vyvanse)
Never said it was a “miracle drug”, unless by “miracle” you mean a compound with essentially all upside, or neutral at worst, with no “price” to be paid in the form of harms to health ( besides a rare allergic rash in a very tiny minority).
It is objectively THE safest CNS boosting drug, with a better record than caffeine, and all but the most benign otc meds. Including ibuprofen.
If anything, the #1 complaint is “I don’t feel it”.
Mechanistically it has numerous plausible long term neuroprotective effects, though they've only been proven in animals and in human tissue in vitro.
So either it does something positive, which is the case for the vast majority, does little to nothing (usually by those comparing it to a stimulant), or in some outlier cases has some minor transient annoying effect, without any documented harms.
If you have some evidence of any damage done by it, I’d love to see it, because I read every bit of research and case study that comes out on this topic, including the nuts that take 5000mg, and haven’t seen anything in that regard that’s more alarming that the effects of too much coffee.