Rektest - Death is available log

Why wait until Feb to check on things or talk to someone about it?
Im slightly afraid.

I was thinking whether this may have something to do with you upping the glp.
You are taking a lot. When did the dose go up to what it is now?
Could be? I know Tirz ups heart rate, and then the GH also does.
So could it just be from my rhr? Because I run 95-100 constantly just chilling.

Middle of January I went 25mg, im on 30mg 2nd shot now
 
Im slightly afraid.


Could be? I know Tirz ups heart rate, and then the GH also does.
So could it just be from my rhr? Because I run 95-100 constantly just chilling.

Middle of January I went 25mg, im on 30mg 2nd shot now

Stuff like reflux can feel like that.
It could actually be coming from there.
And you are taking a lot, so I could be

Why do you need all that?
 
Do you know why?

Do you do cardio?

That is definitely not a good resting heart rate.

I missed your blood pressure. What is it?
Tirz + hgh up my rhr
Which I am on 30mg tirz and 20iu hgh ed, I talked a little more with iris and decided to drop down to a more normal dose of both in regards to damage limitation and to avoid doing needless stuff if in the case this is what is causing my problems i wont know unless I change my dosages and see. also end of the day I don’t need such a high HGH dose,
I was taking the 20iu then needing the tirz to control bg.

When I was more in the gym, everyday, I did cardio and it only improved my working heart rate, never my resting, which has always sat around there.

Bp is 127/70 iirc
 
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……….BIG ROMAN? IMG_0678.webp

Its interesting, because Im literally on nothing.
I am on
200mg/wk test
5iu HGH ed
10mg tirz


This post is for me, when I look back I want to remember this moment
I went back and found what around 217 was during cuttting.

I still view myself horribly, these two pictures give me some hope Im making some little progress.
IMG_0682.webp
IMG_0683.webp

Viewing old messages here wasn’t easy to find that picture, remembering the state I was in, in that first picture.
Words I was saying.
I never want to be there again.
I want that person to forever be dead, never to return.
I am a butterfly, transforming to never return to my previous state, bastard fuck piece of shit state.


Rekky The Butterfly
Hashtagfeelingveryfuckable
 
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Your quixotic quest is paying off but at a cost to your long term health no doubt. How far apart the 2 pics?
 
Your quixotic quest is paying off but at a cost to your long term health no doubt. How far apart the 2 pics?
First pic is oct 2nd. 2nd pic is today
I dont think I take pictures good honestly, think when I was at the bottom of 195 I looked the best in pictures (bigger) but pictures dont show how bigger I am now
Im close to needing to move up in shirt sizes solely because my lats dont fit and its a pita to take off.
3XL down to a large and moving back up to a XL…..
 
Im slightly afraid.


Could be? I know Tirz ups heart rate, and then the GH also does.
So could it just be from my rhr? Because I run 95-100 constantly just chilling.

Middle of January I went 25mg, im on 30mg 2nd shot now
Mate drop all the shit and go check yourself.
 


Bro are you really glazing Hitler lmao tren melted your shit

They burned writings of Einstein, Freud, and even Hellen Keller. Joyce, Jack London, even Hemingway and f. Scott fitzgerald.
A lot of those books burned directly relate to what a lot of people would consider as “traditional” American values and masculinity. From basic psychology to science that was cutting edge at the time because it represented knowledge of their enemies, politically or ideologically, or people who were not genocidal lmao
Freud was banned and he argues for deterministic biology which IS AGAINST trans ideology as biology/ genes INCLUDING sex chromosomes determine SEX AND GENDER
Such a stupid ass take
 
Freud was banned and he argues for deterministic biology which IS AGAINST trans ideology as biology/ genes INCLUDING sex chromosomes determine SEX AND GENDER
Such a stupid ass take
Freud was disliked because of his heritage, obviously.
I doubt very much that Hitler cared for or had knowledge of his theories, if only in light of that.
Theories that have been subsequently quickly refuted, in any case, by people who had nothing to do with the German regime.
But they were certainly into their genetics and the protection of their prized racial heritage.
Biological determinism would not have been on the menu of things under debate, Freud or not.

Funny how people are so quick to look at the Germans, which was a moment in history and we are very much past that, in good or bad.

You can go and have a look at the
stupid ass take

of Mao's revolution, his cleansing and destruction of religious, cultural and historical values and works , the purge of intellectuals, the millions of people killed, the repression of homosexuality as deviant and so on.

Then you can tell us how they are CURRENTLY (not Mao's times) cater for transgender individuals, when they legalised same sex marriage, how free and unrestricted newspaper publications, internet access and social media are.

They must be thrilled Tump unbanned the data collection gem that is Tik Tok, an app they have not allowed to be used in their own country.
Of course, they have their own, "better and improved", CCP endorsed version of it.
 
Freud was disliked because of his heritage, obviously.
I doubt very much that Hitler cared for or had knowledge of his theories, if only in light of that.
My point is that this video is misleading. It tries to portray Nazis as heroes of culture, but banned books based on ethnicity of authors, challenge to ideology or even mention of Jews as human beings. Some of those books considered important pieces of human literary history, and art written by Catholics, which only feature Jewish characters. The very fact that Jewish characters exist is enough for them to want to erase seminal works of literature.

I’m not arguing that Freud is correct,
the point of that comment on biological determinism is that it shows he was not burning books because it is a trans/cultural/identity issue/ in regards to “degenerate culture” like that propaganda clip tries to claim.

The book burnings served to further a genocide.

If they were truly attacking degenerate culture LGBTQ there wouldn’t have been widespread homosexuality among SS members, an interest in the occult, or female sex workers who became famous and very wealthy specifically for performances to political party members, all which are reasonably well documented, and there are images, and testimony given by some of the entertainers.

Funny how people are so quick to look at the Germans, which was a moment in history and we are very much past that, in good or bad.

I made no claims in regard to contemporary German culture, or how they have effectively moved past WW2, and the aftermath. A lot of countries are unable to move past mistakes, or inhumane actions their governments have taken, ie japan, China, turkey, the USA, so in that respect I have no criticism to make about Germany. My problem is only with the claims made in this specific piece of propaganda as untrue, and as a very obvious anti-Semitic dog whistle.

of Mao's revolution, his cleansing and destruction of religious, cultural and historical values and works , the purge of intellectuals, the millions of people killed, the repression of homosexuality as deviant and so on.

Then you can tell us how they are CURRENTLY (not Mao's times) cater for transgender individuals, when they legalised same sex marriage, how free and unrestricted newspaper publications, internet access and social media are.

They must be thrilled Tump unbanned the data collection gem that is Tik Tok, an app they have not allowed to be used in their own country.
Of course, they have their own, "better and improved", CCP endorsed version of it.

Whataboutism. Didn’t claim anywhere mao is good or China is good. I’m not Chinese, I’m not a Maoist. Didn’t claim anywhere that the cultural revolution is somehow acceptable or that the restrictions on freedom of speech are good.

I don’t have tik tok, or think foreign adversarial entities should be allowed to carry on business in the US in the way that tik tok does, and do not support trumps reversal of the ban.

Also not sure what this has to do with proliferation of anti-Semitic propaganda
 
In the shadows I build, I sculpt away.


Back Day

Cable Rows
185x10
210x12
210x12
210x10
210x8
210x8

DB shrugs
160x15
180x15
220x15
220x15
240x10
240x10

Cable Face Pulls
110x15
130x15
140x15
140x15
140x13
140x10
130x15

Wide Grip Pull Downs
180x10
180x10
195x10
210x10
210x10
210x8

Straight Arm-Pulldowns
130x10
130x10
130x10
130x10
130x8

Rough Calories for the day are
2,180calories

404Protein
104Carbs

I definitely have enough protein, will add in carbs as strength stalls, it definitely isn’t.
Can also swap protein for carbs down the road if I need to as I have enough protein to give up.
Rough goal is a slender 220, I think the cut I was at 195 but at 220 thatll be juicy.
 
I forgot to mention that I rewarded myself with a long-lost old friend after the gym, a Diet Coke… Oh how I have missed them.
 
My point is that this video is misleading. It tries to portray Nazis as heroes of culture, but banned books based on ethnicity of authors, challenge to ideology or even mention of Jews as human beings. Some of those books considered important pieces of human literary history, and art written by Catholics, which only feature Jewish characters. The very fact that Jewish characters exist is enough for them to want to erase seminal works of literature.

I’m not arguing that Freud is correct,
the point of that comment on biological determinism is that it shows he was not burning books because it is a trans/cultural/identity issue/ in regards to “degenerate culture” like that propaganda clip tries to claim.

The book burnings served to further a genocide.

If they were truly attacking degenerate culture LGBTQ there wouldn’t have been widespread homosexuality among SS members, an interest in the occult, or female sex workers who became famous and very wealthy specifically for performances to political party members, all which are reasonably well documented, and there are images, and testimony given by some of the entertainers.



I made no claims in regard to contemporary German culture, or how they have effectively moved past WW2, and the aftermath. A lot of countries are unable to move past mistakes, or inhumane actions their governments have taken, ie japan, China, turkey, the USA, so in that respect I have no criticism to make about Germany. My problem is only with the claims made in this specific piece of propaganda as untrue, and as a very obvious anti-Semitic dog whistle.



Whataboutism. Didn’t claim anywhere mao is good or China is good. I’m not Chinese, I’m not a Maoist. Didn’t claim anywhere that the cultural revolution is somehow acceptable or that the restrictions on freedom of speech are good.

I don’t have tik tok, or think foreign adversarial entities should be allowed to carry on business in the US in the way that tik tok does, and do not support trumps reversal of the ban.

Also not sure what this has to do with proliferation of anti-Semitic propaganda

Thank you for your kind reply.
I don't disagree.

My view of this was more to do with how this type of imagery and these specific historical references (these and only these, when other with similar ideologies are available) have become the stereotypical, stock weapon of choice to suit people's narratives, on both sides of the fence.
My reference to Mao (as one of those historical parallel figures) was just because I remembered where you reside but mentioning Stalin would have been the same, to make the point I wanted.
The video's main concern wasn't so much with book burning, per se, I thought.
Because it was mentioned a couple of times and in the context of that, I gathered it was more to do with transgenderism and where the video creators allege it came from.

Anyway, I shall write you and explain myself, when I can, in a few days time.
Rek posted that video, in the first place, but I am not sure he intended the political stuff to drag on further, here.
If so, it would be fair enough.
However, I am happy to reply, separately.

Thanks, again.
See you later and have a good day.
 
Thank you for your kind reply.
I don't disagree.

My view of this was more to do with how this type of imagery and these specific historical references (these and only these, when other with similar ideologies are available) have become the stereotypical, stock weapon of choice to suit people's narratives, on both sides of the fence.
My reference to Mao (as one of those historical parallel figures) was just because I remembered where you reside but mentioning Stalin would have been the same, to make the point I wanted.
The video's main concern wasn't so much with book burning, per se, I thought.
Because it was mentioned a couple of times and in the context of that, I gathered it was more to do with transgenderism and where the video creators allege it came from.

Anyway, I shall write you and explain myself, when I can, in a few days time.
Rek posted that video, in the first place, but I am not sure he intended the political stuff to drag on further, here.
If so, it would be fair enough.
However, I am happy to reply, separately.

Thanks, again.
See you later and have a good day.
I don’t mind the replies here. I like reading them tbh.
feel free to keep writing, as you please. :)
Thanks for sharing your insights, I value them dearly and the time you take to write.
I may reply if I ever get the time to sit down and write, as something like this isn’t a quick message.
 
In the shadows I build, I sculpt away.


Back Day

Cable Rows
185x10
210x12
210x12
210x10
210x8
210x8

DB shrugs
160x15
180x15
220x15
220x15
240x10
240x10

Cable Face Pulls
110x15
130x15
140x15
140x15
140x13
140x10
130x15

Wide Grip Pull Downs
180x10
180x10
195x10
210x10
210x10
210x8

Straight Arm-Pulldowns
130x10
130x10
130x10
130x10
130x8

Rough Calories for the day are
2,180calories

404Protein
104Carbs

I definitely have enough protein, will add in carbs as strength stalls, it definitely isn’t.
Can also swap protein for carbs down the road if I need to as I have enough protein to give up.
Rough goal is a slender 220, I think the cut I was at 195 but at 220 thatll be juicy.
So I have no idea where I stand in regarding strength, if any of these are good, dont have any gymbros besides work and they are all natural pretty much dyel just starting out

So if anyone is cruising by and you think man this dude is weak as shit in xyz, please say, I won’t get offended and will be very appreciative of you letting me know.
 
There is no way for us to know. Machines are all different, so it is not like you are giving us the weight on a barbell.

Anyway, I doubt you are "weak as shit" as you say. ;)
 
Body building and powerlifting are 2 different animals IMO.. Do you wanna lift real heavy or look like you can lift real heavy?? Personally I focus on form and the just right weight, who cares what that looks like in comparison to someone else .. your straight bro!!
 
Rough Calories for the day are
2,180calories

404Protein
104Carbs

I definitely have enough protein, will add in carbs as strength stalls, it definitely isn’t.
Can also swap protein for carbs down the road if I need to as I have enough protein to give up.
Rough goal is a slender 220, I think the cut I was at 195 but at 220 thatll be juicy.
No fats? 0?

Have you thought about cycling the carbs? 250 grams of carbs from Jasmin rice and oats on the high day will renew and refresh your efforts for the lower days. All that matters is the overall calorie count.

For example, a very simply 3 day cycle, 250, 125, 0, 250, 125, 0 has the same calories as 125 each day, but that 250 day feels great when you eat breakfast in the morning with a big bowl of oatmeal . . . you get the idea. For me, it helps me to suffer through the low days, looking forward to the high day.

You can structure one way more complicated than that. It was just an example.

You have been on restricted low carbs for a long time, if I recall correctly. Consider if maybe it is time to take a break for a bit, give yourself some carbs to swell those muscles up for a few weeks? I am not saying go crazy. Keep it clean. Oats, potatoes, sweet potatoes, jasmine rice. Maybe a week or two of 250 a week (still not a lot, that is only 1000 calories from carbs), and you might see your body respond and the amount of resistance needed progress.
 
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