So a bit about me.
I am 23yo, 190cm, guy from a non-EU country in Europe. I used to weight 170kg. Been dieting, losing weight for 4, and lifting for 2 years now.
My lowest weight to date was 92kg. And I bloody hated my body at that point. All the lose skin, the stretch marks, no muscle to speak off. I tried so many things to deal with my body dysmorphia. Nothing helped. And worse yet, all the "body acceptance and self-love" communities online and IRL were full of hypocrisy, lies, and outright malicious info. They almost made me spiral back into the depression and old habits that got me to my lowest point.
Then, the lifting community accepted me. I learned to lift, and the additional muscles on my frame allowed my body to somewhat regain the eye-pleasing shape. I no longer had to hide the lose skin under 2 layers of clothes, or be embarrassed to go to the beach with friends. I could even pass the stretch marks on some places, like the biceps, to be from lifting weights. I regained my confidence, self-worth and self-acceptance.
Now I am sitting between 105-110kg, at about 20% bf, probably less, and enough muscle to feel somewhat comfortable that I look moderately good and attractive.
However, I want to go a step further. There is still lot of work to do, and I know how much I can push my body naturally. Been contemplating steroids for a long time, until I finally came to a decision.
I begun my first ever cycle mid-April. But I quickly realized that I was rash, far too eager, and missing a lot of info. Time to correct that.
Hoping to make friends and connections with people here, get educated on the stuff, and hopefully reach my goals.
I am 23yo, 190cm, guy from a non-EU country in Europe. I used to weight 170kg. Been dieting, losing weight for 4, and lifting for 2 years now.
My lowest weight to date was 92kg. And I bloody hated my body at that point. All the lose skin, the stretch marks, no muscle to speak off. I tried so many things to deal with my body dysmorphia. Nothing helped. And worse yet, all the "body acceptance and self-love" communities online and IRL were full of hypocrisy, lies, and outright malicious info. They almost made me spiral back into the depression and old habits that got me to my lowest point.
Then, the lifting community accepted me. I learned to lift, and the additional muscles on my frame allowed my body to somewhat regain the eye-pleasing shape. I no longer had to hide the lose skin under 2 layers of clothes, or be embarrassed to go to the beach with friends. I could even pass the stretch marks on some places, like the biceps, to be from lifting weights. I regained my confidence, self-worth and self-acceptance.
Now I am sitting between 105-110kg, at about 20% bf, probably less, and enough muscle to feel somewhat comfortable that I look moderately good and attractive.
However, I want to go a step further. There is still lot of work to do, and I know how much I can push my body naturally. Been contemplating steroids for a long time, until I finally came to a decision.
I begun my first ever cycle mid-April. But I quickly realized that I was rash, far too eager, and missing a lot of info. Time to correct that.
Hoping to make friends and connections with people here, get educated on the stuff, and hopefully reach my goals.
