Hell, I've been using gear for way longer than that, so that's why it's so frustrating. I've always been completely honest about how I am literally horrible about everything I do when it comes to using gear, eating properly, and just about anything when it comes to bodybuilding. Trust me, I know how I suck at all this. I am definitely not a guy that's going to come on here and say "I've been doing this 20 years and know what I'm doing."
Should I know what the fuck I'm doing after all this time? Absolutely!! But I'm not going to lie about my ignorance just so I don't look like an ass. It's a fact -- I suck at this big time, even after 20+ years.
Not to make excuses for my ignorance, but it really does come down to my very real issue of not being able to eat enough calories without throwing up. It's difficult, mentally, to want to learn what makes a good use of gear when I know I'm not going to be able to eat enough anyway.
I don't look anything like any of the profile pictures I see on here. I know it's my own fault. I'm just not good at all this, and most of it comes from eating. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am very muscular for my age, and I really do like the way I look, but I am definitely not in the same category as all of you. You guys have this down to an art, while my goal is just to fucking eat more food without getting sick. I feel like if I could somehow tackle that problem, I would have a good reason to learn more about how to make use of proper cycles and such. Instead, I just spend my time trying to eat enough to prevent my muscles from cannibalizing.
