Personal log from first cycle

i had a girl who had a sik ass '95 m3 in the USA , it was such a fun car to drive, i could imagine a sported up m3 , fun af

you guys got fucked over with e36 gen. underpowered my miles cause of emision laws back then. it was like 240hp vs 320 in eu i rhink or something simillar

this is not really street friendly car. too loud, uncomfortable, race suspension setup means it doesnt wanna go straight and big camber causes it to steer by itself on our shitty roads. brakes are too aggressive, throttle is sharp, slicks dont work when cold and you cant get them up to temp on road, engine has race cooling so hard to get heat into it, same for gearbox & diff.

buuuut its unique experience. i could tweek suspension a bit, mount streetable semislick tyres and it would be sick experience, i had it in that setup for first few years. it was still loud, uncomfortable and wanted to kill you on bad roads (we dont have good ones) but it was fun.
 
i had a girl who had a sik ass '95 m3 in the USA , it was such a fun car to drive, i could imagine a sported up m3 , fun af

my reply is awaiting approvall from mod, not sure why. here, at least have a look at her, 23yo...
 

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anyway, i dont like the way i look. im still fat. too fat.
im seriously considering to start "phase 2" of cut from next week. aggressive, short-ish (until november) and on 250mg's of test only.
daily cardio 30min on bike at home, then 45min and finish with 60min daily. it would suck but im willing to push it... bump tirz dose again to 7,5-10mg's, low carbs, mostly protein and eat in big deficit again.

i need to go to sauna, loose water and see how bad it is. its nice to feel like human again but .. i dont meet with people, i dont need libido back, i can suffer for bit longer before winter which will be long suffering anyway.

this is "meh" phase for now. tryin to not get fat (im probably not good enough at it) until i bump up test to moderate/hish-ish (for me) dose.

will see this week.
 
pullday today.
hit small pr, barbell rows 110kg x4,5. no straps, no belt, strict form. kind of like dorian did. ive been told its good form.
now i need to work my way to 8-10 reps with it and move to 120kg. slowly.

Tbar rows with 4 plates, double dropset, until assisted failure. one all out set. good one.

wide grip pulldowns on cables, elbows in as much as possible. one all out set to assisted failure. pumped like mf

seated cable rows with narrow V grip for lats. failure with dropset.

another few sets of pulldowns with double D handles, aiming for lower last. more pump work, about 3 80% sets, 8-10 reps

few close grip pullups and ussuall 2 excercises for bicep, Zbar, wide & narrow grip, last set on each to assisted failure.


had 70mg shot of TNE 1h preworkout. lovely stuff. brutal pip.

gym full of milfs in super tight yoga pants. my head wanted to explode. dick also.

attached back photo from home
 

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also, i noticed one thing. i added hgh at the tail end of my cut and now when carbs are back, my pumps are often very strong and fullness is bit unreal to me, especially in gym. sure, carbs are carbs but when i ate that much carbs before, i was nowhere near full. i think hgh is doin something, it cant be placebo effect.

im at/around 4iu daily since late july and my loose skin is tighter, i sleep better and my barber noticed that my beard is growing bit faster, i need to cut bodyhair more often.

honestly im super curious what will happem when i bump up test to somewhere aŕound 500-750, eat pleeenty of carbs. water buffalo for sure but with much lower bf% than before it could be good look.
i didnt like look in test before but that was cause i was fat, bloated mess without any definiton. ussuall fat gymbro
 
also, i noticed one thing. i added hgh at the tail end of my cut and now when carbs are back, my pumps are often very strong and fullness is bit unreal to me, especially in gym. sure, carbs are carbs but when i ate that much carbs before, i was nowhere near full. i think hgh is doin something, it cant be placebo effect.

im at/around 4iu daily since late july and my loose skin is tighter, i sleep better and my barber noticed that my beard is growing bit faster, i need to cut bodyhair more often.

honestly im super curious what will happem when i bump up test to somewhere aŕound 500-750, eat pleeenty of carbs. water buffalo for sure but with much lower bf% than before it could be good look.
i didnt like look in test before but that was cause i was fat, bloated mess without any definiton. ussuall fat gymbro
If you think HGH gives you good fullness, just wait until you add insulin. I always used to wonder how bodybuilders get that 24/7 "3D" pumped, blown-out muscle look, turns out it's insulin.

After adding decent pre and post-workout doses, holy shit… I actually look like a legit bodybuilder. People are literally coming up to me asking what the hell I'm doing.

The milos protocol definitely works.
 
anyway, i dont like the way i look. im still fat. too fat.
im seriously considering to start "phase 2" of cut from next week. aggressive, short-ish (until november) and on 250mg's of test only.
daily cardio 30min on bike at home, then 45min and finish with 60min daily. it would suck but im willing to push it... bump tirz dose again to 7,5-10mg's, low carbs, mostly protein and eat in big deficit again.

i need to go to sauna, loose water and see how bad it is. its nice to feel like human again but .. i dont meet with people, i dont need libido back, i can suffer for bit longer before winter which will be long suffering anyway.

this is "meh" phase for now. tryin to not get fat (im probably not good enough at it) until i bump up test to moderate/hish-ish (for me) dose.

will see this week.
It's definitely a mindfuck, especially coming out of a cut you always will have the feeling of being "too fat".

Winter's coming, so I said screw it. I'm going all out, Lee Priest off season style, and planning to start a cut around March/April for next summer.

Consider going full bear mode, pack on serious mass, and start your cut next year in time to impress those hot yoga milfs (if that’s your thing).
 
If you think HGH gives you good fullness, just wait until you add insulin. I always used to wonder how bodybuilders get that 24/7 "3D" pumped, blown-out muscle look, turns out it's insulin.

After adding decent pre and post-workout doses, holy shit… I actually look like a legit bodybuilder. People are literally coming up to me asking what the hell I'm doing.

The milos protocol definitely works.

i belive you. but i dont think i will go that fat, ever. i mean, there is absolutly no need to do that for me...

actually i may try anadrol. today i had workout with friend, he pinned my ass with tne and i cracked open new tub of anadrol and gave him 50mg as fun preworkout.

i watched him blow up during fckin warmup. he was full, strong, sweaty, loud... he told me it hit him like train. he has some experience with dbol (horrible one) and this was stronger, tho he wont be using it....

aaaanyway, i have 98 25mg pills of anadrol, opened... i should resist but if not, it will be pullday with plenty of carbs...


It's definitely a mindfuck, especially coming out of a cut you always will have the feeling of being "too fat".

Winter's coming, so I said screw it. I'm going all out, Lee Priest off season style, and planning to start a cut around March/April for next summer.

Consider going full bear mode, pack on serious mass, and start your cut next year in time to impress those hot yoga milfs (if that’s your thing).

man, 3 guys in last 2 days irl told me that i should bulk and add some size. i still see fat ass in mirror (with veins on abs tho, yea, they are still there, wtf...).

i guess thats life. fat guys will have always "im too fat" mindset and guys that started skinny will always have "im too small" mindset.

i dont need to be too big. again, end goal is 85kg at/around 10% BF... not serious size like eddie here. i will settle with "aesthetic" (read small) but shredded, veiny look. i prefer it to mass, personally i think it looks better. more stealth also.

will see, tomorrow i will have legs with friend and sauna also. after that i will really see how much of it is fat and water. but everyone keeps telling me that its time to push kcals....
 
i dont need to be too big. again, end goal is 85kg at/around 10% BF... not serious size like eddie here. i will settle with "aesthetic" (read small) but shredded, veiny look. i prefer it to mass, personally i think it looks better. more stealth also.
I've been many sizes, but this is my favorite (well, 90kg, I'm a little taller). Still strong, but I feel better, I move better, don't get as gassed with cardio, etc. The stealth thing is underrated - when you're super beefy, mostly only other bodybuilders (or aspiring ones) strike up conversations. When you're just shredded, everyone's friendly.
 
I've been many sizes, but this is my favorite (well, 90kg, I'm a little taller). Still strong, but I feel better, I move better, don't get as gassed with cardio, etc. The stealth thing is underrated - when you're super beefy, mostly only other bodybuilders (or aspiring ones) strike up conversations. When you're just shredded, everyone's friendly.

i understand you. its not too heavy for other activities, you are not out of breath 24/7, your presence doesnt scream "STEROIDS" everywhere etc.
stealth is good. also shredded look is more "wow" i think. cause today everyone is fat. its more eye pleasing and at the end of the day, you get morr admiration (not sure if its correct word) cause people know its possible, just super hard.
 
legday today. light one. or not.

friend from germany came to visit for few days and we hit legs. we agreed to do light workout. my ass is on fire, pip from tne is brutal. hurts while sitting, cant go out of bed properly, walking sucks, training legs and ass sucks even more...

squats first, light, not too much. 3 sets of 6 reps with 100kg. ass hurts.

leg extensions, one set to assisted failure, forced reps, i was screaming a bit. gym full if guys and they looked bit weird at me but whatever, they have skinny legs.

reverse hacksquat for glutes on machine. my max was 260kg, plate loaded, months and months ago. well, we did 300 this time for last set, cause why not try it... idiots.

hiptrusts, cause i have flat and weak ass. i wanna juicy booty with huge quads so i can wear shortest, tightest shorts while smelling like hormones from tne shot while im walking in gym with legs pumped and veins showing. joking...
my max was 120kg, if i go heavier i start to feel hamstrings. i hate that excercise. idk how many sets we did but we stayed bit longer cause "ass area" was full of... chicks. ofc, its always chicks, young, smelling like ectasy and always in tightest fckin yoga pants. idiots...


seated hamstring curls (idk if its correct name) and then hamstring curls while laying on machine. i have no idea how these excercises are called.

aaand kast thing was standing calf raises. i couldnt find pin for adding plate so i had to do like 50 reps. slow negatives, explosive way up.
honestly my calves are good, i dont need to really train them but i like it. veins pop out more.

after that i went home. fell into bed for 2 hours, legs are shaking, they feel super heavy, i can barely move, ass hurts from tne and from trainin and i have kind of fever.
we wanted to go light today...

apettite is gone, i wanna puke, i feel like shit and im not sure why. it wasnt that hard legday, i had much worse, more volume and more intensity. idk. weird day but im sure i will struggle with walking for few days.

i couldnt do 2 legdays per week. hats down to guys who can do it and regenerate from it. ussually, from wednesday legday, they are sore for 5, sometimes 6 days. im glad i have good (read fat) leg genetics and they are not small.

tomorrow will be restday with sauna. i dont need to wake uo early and will take good 4h nap after lunch hopefully. i feel much better since i added one restday per work week, before i had 2 in row during weekend.
 
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also, i have to look up good warm up rutines from heavy squatters cause my warmup sucks. im tight all over my lower body, dont know how to properly stretch/warmup before legday and i think it just screams "injury" sooner or later.

i dont mind added time in gym, its my happy time. i need to work on it cause injury and/or dmg to knees is last thing i wanna...

i developed good warmup for push/pull movements, some stretching, especially shoulders and chest, some activation movements (from deadhang for pull days) and i can feel how much it did help.

good warmup rutine could make legdays easier, safer and less painfull after.
 
restday and sauna time. hopefully pip from tne will go away cause i woke up 2 times cause of pain. it feels like someone inserted pingpong ball sized lump/knot in my ass cheek....

anyway, i have some time to think.
from what ive read/heard on topic of kidney toxicity and var, it shouldnt be direct kidney toxic. only tren is (?).

maybe maybe it was stress from var but mast made it worse?
if mast blocks esteogen at receptors and estrogen is nephroprotective, my kidneys were under more stress then with var itself?

im not sure if it works that way but feelings of crashed e2, despite on bloodwork it was being in range maybe maybe indicates that it could be it. or maybe im completly wrong and thats not how it works... just thinkin..

anyway, high carb day tomorrow, gonna lower tirz to 2,5mg and fuck cutting more. everyone keeps tellin me that i should grow and cut after. i guess its time. gonna crack the test up in very near future, maybe to 500, maybe to 750...
 
restday and sauna time. hopefully pip from tne will go away cause i woke up 2 times cause of pain. it feels like someone inserted pingpong ball sized lump/knot in my ass cheek....

anyway, i have some time to think.
from what ive read/heard on topic of kidney toxicity and var, it shouldnt be direct kidney toxic. only tren is (?).

maybe maybe it was stress from var but mast made it worse?
if mast blocks esteogen at receptors and estrogen is nephroprotective, my kidneys were under more stress then with var itself?

im not sure if it works that way but feelings of crashed e2, despite on bloodwork it was being in range maybe maybe indicates that it could be it. or maybe im completly wrong and thats not how it works... just thinkin..

anyway, high carb day tomorrow, gonna lower tirz to 2,5mg and fuck cutting more. everyone keeps tellin me that i should grow and cut after. i guess its time. gonna crack the test up in very near future, maybe to 500, maybe to 750...
Maybe "injection technique" maybe man up and start pinning yourself , ;) by the sounds of it is a combination of the TNE also injection technique and then you did legs right after so that's a 123 in my opinion , i think anyone would be hurting after that abuse, well done for sticking to daily log
 
Maybe "injection technique" maybe man up and start pinning yourself , ;) by the sounds of it is a combination of the TNE also injection technique and then you did legs right after so that's a 123 in my opinion , i think anyone eould be hurting after that abuse

maybe maybe. but so far every shot there was pip. in glutes its worse, didnt matter which needle i used. in quads its still there but doesnt bother me much. guy that pinned me is doin it daily for 8 guys in work for years. his technique is good i think.
its just painfull shot but i think its worth it. you know, i just need to rant a bit

aaaaaand i would love to pin myself easily like rest of you guys. i have friends that love that part of the week. but my brain said its bad to pierce my muscle with sharp object... idk.
 
anyway, high carb day tomorrow, gonna lower tirz to 2,5mg and fuck cutting more. everyone keeps tellin me that i should grow and cut after. i guess its time. gonna crack the test up in very near future, maybe to 500, maybe to 750...
You should take more reta. It's like a lean bulk cheat code. Just gotta watch triggering the insulin with your diet to signal fat storage. No heavy carb days, but your body's making plenty because of the GCGr activity.
 
You should take more reta. It's like a lean bulk cheat code. Just gotta watch triggering the insulin with your diet to signal fat storage. No heavy carb days, but your body's making plenty because of the GCGr activity.

unfortunatelly, i dont have enough... i wanted to make bigger order from ssa to stock up on var 50mg, more test (not sure why..), peptides, some nitche stuff to add to stash but everything went dark...

so, for now, i have enough tirz for few future cuts, enough hgh until next summer at 4iu daily and reta for maybe half year at 2mg weekly for all the health benefits...
 
pullday today, 5th brutal workout this week.
more upper back, less lats. even less bicep, it was tired at the end.
barbell rows, tbar rows, wide grip pulldowns, narrow geip pulldowns to bellybuttom (kind of), face pulls on cables (dont like it), one hammer machine, olate loaded with different grips, ive tried to target upper back more, idk how its called...
2 variations of bicep curls, hyperextensions

im fried. i had bad sleep, i was up 3 times in 8 hours cause of errections, couldnt fall asleep, trainin was right after waking up and hgh shot, fasted.

somehow i had good pump but my apettite is shit. its been shit since wednesday and legday. no tirz/reta shots yesterday either, now im at home and dont wanna eat anything.. weird

2 back shots from home attached. tomorrow i have "massage"... imagine big ukrainian powerlifter/ex military guy that break muscle knots/spazms. i need it from time to time to straighten me .. i sleep weirdly and cant lay on my back for whole night, roll from side to side and end up sleeping on my arm.

again, i have blocked something in upper back cause 2 outside fingers on my hands are goin numb often. ussuall process, i will scream, curse, maybe cry a bit from pain.

next week i have PT scheaduled and i need to find source of my issues with shoulder and work on my mobility, warmups, im tight and stiff everywhere. i should do yoga again ..
 

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