In 2016 I started my first cycle after losing my dad..I thought maybe seeing some rapid change in my body would help ease my mind and take my mind off of what was going on. At the time I had been dating a girl for 5 years...she was ok with me doing this cycle and I was totally open about it with her. Things got rocky a couple months into it, Idk if it was the hormones, myself, or the situation...but whatever it was it led me to seek other girls. For awhile I would message and talk to other girls behind my ex's back...we grew distant with each other and I grew more obsessed on talking to different girls. Well by now I'm sure you all know where this led me to, I ended up cheating on her with a girl I had talked to. I got away with it for maybe 2 weeks she found out, I didn't lie to her about it and had admitted it right away. Honestly when she found out my reaction was kind of like oh...whatever..I tried to get her to stay but honestly I felt almost numb to what was going on and feel as if the roids made me not really give a shit or maybe that was just my attitude at the time. Losing this girl was definitely my biggest regret while taking steroids..I don't know for sure if they had played a role in my actions, but I'm thinking they did because when I came off my world shattered. I felt like absolute dogshit...and by that time this girl didn't want anything to do with me...she told me she had still loved me but couldn't have something with me. I was such an in considerate prick..I stabbed my best friend in the back and hurt those close to me. This still bothers me to this day...I can honestly say I would never do something like that again. I just can't imagine how she felt after trusting me so much then I did that. She's with a new guy now and happy...I'm honestly happy for her but I still feel terrible about and miss her to this day.