Did Jesus even fucking lift?

[insaiyan93]

Holy fuck a devoted Christian . This is blaspheme .... or something. I don't know but this thread is what I call STUPID, Just IMOP. Some stupid shit is entertaining, but "I" think this is so out of the realm of real it is a fucking waist of space.

really a devote Christian and you put Jesus in a sentence with a descriptive adjective , the word "FUCK"
If you are real yourself about you beliefs do you think Jesus would appreciate yu asking if he fucking lift. Now don't get YOUR panties in a wad I preempted my statements as IMOP...
But even if joking a bit crude and rude.

Oh by the way I'm no fucking prude and but also a strong Christian. Went to school in 2006-2009 , three years to become a certified n validated sanctioned Jail and Prison.
Chaplain.

I used to go into a few Jails n Prisons in North Central FL and give Bible studies. Just saying. For what ever. Ha n lol

Lets just say for the sake of argument jesus is real, and he is the son of god, savior of humanity.

This fuckin tool doesn't give a shit enough to save a little kid from cancer, or stop them from getting raped, but you think he's gonna get up in arms about someone asking if he lifts? Goddamn, guy must be a real fuckin headcase.

 

[manafest]

Buddah older then jesus story.. Krishna another story older then jesus.. Odysseus another story older then jesus..Romulus another story older then jesus..Dionysus another story older then jesus..Heracles another story older then jesus..Glycon another story...Zoroaster/Zarathustra another story...Attis of Phrygia another story..Horus another story... they are all gods who were sent to save mankind....we been telling stories since people could talk and others would listen..make any of them true? sitting trying to prove a story without scientific proof its worthless in my own opinion...I will say this though..the story of jesus has been told and retold more then any and it seems the bible has covered its doubt with one major component to beleiving...YOU just need to have faith..when faced with any question about it thats what they ask you to fall back on and its all good... I personally dont think that way since now to beleive anything people demand proof not a leap of faith..People dont want to hear about that shit when their tests come back False that they bought bunk aas..im using that over and over as an example because well this is a steriod form and the education and such you want to get from here isnt what someone tells a story about .. they want LAB testing and blood results not a story...Just my 2 cents on how i think

 

[high-octane]

 

[ThE SiCkNeSs]

Holy fuck a devoted Christian . This is blaspheme .... or something. I don't know but this thread is what I call STUPID, Just IMOP. Some stupid shit is entertaining, but "I" think this is so out of the realm of real it is a fucking waist of space.

really a devote Christian and you put Jesus in a sentence with a descriptive adjective , the word "FUCK"
If you are real yourself about you beliefs do you think Jesus would appreciate yu asking if he fucking lift. Now don't get YOUR panties in a wad I preempted my statements as IMOP...
But even if joking a bit crude and rude.

Oh by the way I'm no fucking prude and but also a strong Christian. Went to school in 2006-2009 , three years to become a certified n validated sanctioned Jail and Prison.
Chaplain.

I used to go into a few Jails n Prisons in North Central FL and give Bible studies. Just saying. For what ever. Ha n lol

When you were in prison did you get on your knees for Jesus? Did you like to feel his warm salvation all over your face? I bet you did, didn't cha?

 

[Sk8man101]

Holy fuck a devoted Christian . This is blaspheme .... or something. I don't know but this thread is what I call STUPID, Just IMOP. Some stupid shit is entertaining, but "I" think this is so out of the realm of real it is a fucking waist of space.

really a devote Christian and you put Jesus in a sentence with a descriptive adjective , the word "FUCK"
If you are real yourself about you beliefs do you think Jesus would appreciate yu asking if he fucking lift. Now don't get YOUR panties in a wad I preempted my statements as IMOP...
But even if joking a bit crude and rude.

Oh by the way I'm no fucking prude and but also a strong Christian. Went to school in 2006-2009 , three years to become a certified n validated sanctioned Jail and Prison.
Chaplain.

I used to go into a few Jails n Prisons in North Central FL and give Bible studies. Just saying. For what ever. Ha n lol

I dont disagree with you man, but that is my humor and in my opinion it is what makes it funny.

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Lets just say for the sake of argument jesus is real, and he is the son of god, savior of humanity.

This fuckin tool doesn't give a shit enough to save a little kid from cancer, or stop them from getting raped, but you think he's gonna get up in arms about someone asking if he lifts? Goddamn, guy must be a real fuckin headcase.

Goes back to that whole free will thing.

 

[S.A.M.]

Didn't he carry a huge ass heavy wooden cross around?

 

[Sk8man101]

Didn't he carry a huge ass heavy wooden cross around?

BOOM fuck yeah he lugged that thing all by himself! He made all those Roman crossfitters look like a bunch of little bitches!!!

 

[Sk8man101]

Lets just say for the sake of argument jesus is real, and he is the son of god, savior of humanity.

This fuckin tool doesn't give a shit enough to save a little kid from cancer, or stop them from getting raped, but you think he's gonna get up in arms about someone asking if he lifts? Goddamn, guy must be a real fuckin headcase.

Actually brother if one were to consider this blastophomy(which I don't) it is considered the only unforgivable sin.

I actually have answers to why there is sadness in the world too if your curious but that's not what this thread is for lol.

 

[insaiyan93]

Actually brother if one were to consider this blastophomy(which I don't) it is considered the only unforgivable sin.

I actually have answers to why there is sadness in the world too if your curious but that's not what this thread is for lol.

Really? Even like over say...murder? That seems really....kind of a shitty policy lol.

Nah man i didnt come in here to have a debate, i just though the way you displayed your points were hilarious, a grand thread indeed.

But then that guy got all bitchy, i hate when people get bitchy like that lol

Hell, i think if jesus is real he probably laughed at this thread lmao

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Really? Even like over say...murder? That seems really....kind of a shitty policy lol.

Nah man i didnt come in here to have a debate, i just though the way you displayed your points were hilarious, a grand thread indeed.

But then that guy got all bitchy, i hate when people get bitchy like that lol

Hell, i think if jesus is real he probably laughed at this thread lmao

The Apostle Paul murdered christians for a living
Yes, thats true

 

[insaiyan93]

Reminds me of this lol

 

[Leancuisine]

Reminds me of this lolView attachment 68833

 

[x11]

Anyone post a link to a peer reviewed scientific journal paper that proves Jesus existed.

Shouldn't be hard as every scientist says so apparently according to the op.

I missed this paper when it was published, surprisingly little fanfare associated with it. I thought Nobel prize for sure.

As an atheist that takes religious belief very seriously I would say the op is blasphemous and would trigger a lot of Jesus lovers.

 

[hurricane]

So some of you may already know I'm a pretty devoted Christian. I'm sure you guys ask this question to yourselves all the time, so I thought I'd give everyone a little clarification.

I got some proof here backed up by scripture that jesus did in fact fucking lift.

Exhibit A:
View attachment 68679
First look at this guy's beard right here^ I'll tell you right now there is no denying that this is the beard of a savage ass powerlifter. You see this guy walking around with some shit like this your already know this guy better be lifting 8 days a week if he's gunna be reppin a beard like that.

Exhibit B:
"After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

So this one is pretty self explainitory, obviously Jesus was prepping for a show only forty days out, then some pussy ass Lucifur comes along trying to give Jesus a Double-Double with animal fries (sorry Canadians) and the big JC was all like fuck you bitch ass devil I'm watching my macros!
Savage shit right there.

Exhibit C:

View attachment 68680
Just look at this guy about to strike a double bicep before it was even cool. Fucking Judas was gettin all sneaking tryin to catch Jesus off guard during his off season. And what does Jesus do? He invites all of his bro's over to carbload (last supper) before the big show. That's some badass shit right there.

Exhibit D:
Last but not least the final shi-bang..

"The women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2They found the stone rolled away from the tomb" Luke 23

Keep in mind this was like a 4 ton fucking hunk of rock. Jesus look at that thing and was like "Fuck it, I don't need a spot" and rolled that shit all by himself.

In conclusion, Jesus did in fact fucking lift and not only that, he was one of the bests.
Get some!!

Good on you bud. One of the best posts I've seen in awhile. Some just don't get it and never will. You know where I stand. Jesus never existed. LMFAO.

 

[hurricane]

Anyone post a link to a peer reviewed scientific journal paper that proves Jesus existed.

Shouldn't be hard as every scientist says so apparently according to the op.

I missed this paper when it was published, surprisingly little fanfare associated with it. I thought Nobel prize for sure.

As an atheist that takes religious belief very seriously I would say the op is blasphemous and would trigger a lot of Jesus lovers.

It was actually @gr8whitetrukker who said Jesus existed historically. Which I believe. I'd like to see you argue with him. LMAO.

 

[high-octane]

Something like this

The Atlantean Conspiracy: Jesus Christ: Man or Myth?

 

[manafest]

people say the lockness monster exists...

 

[x11]

Ancient Christians writing stories their own man god existed does not a peer reviewed paper make.

Tbh I don't doubt a wandering political agitator preacher called Jesus roamed the earth. Plenty of preachers wandering the earth now think they are prophets and that is fact. David koresh was just one of them.

Jesus was and is a common name, romans crucified hundreds of people.

Big step up from a guy called Jesus lived to he broke all the laws of physics doing miracles and he was his own father son of god thing.

What do you know about Jesus between ages of 0-30yo?

There are non-canonical documents covering this. Edited out of the bible tho.

So ya, a Jewish preacher called Jesus most likely lived, now what?

 

[indyfitguy]

He was a carpenter by trade. You ever met any weak carpenters? Jesus was strong as...........!