trtbuilder
Member
I reread it. It's just as dumb. Sorry I destroyed you in 1 sentence and you have nothing to refute it with.
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Good experiences with women. Do they exist?
- Thread starter RedXXSouth
- Start date
bananafeet
Member
I said that women experience mental illness. Somehow you've invalidated that with the male suicide rate?
I guess I've been destroyed then...
trtbuilder
Member
I mean, your entire post is basically saying that women are a problem because they're more mentally ill, more likely to use drugs and alcohol and more likely to be secretive.
None of that holds up when you see that men are actually much higher users of dtugs and alcohol and men are four times as likely to die of suicide. I wonder why they go for suicide? Because we are told to be a man and most never learn how to communicate in a healthy way which also leads to more secrecy and lies.
Basically you made a flawed argument that doesn't hold up under even the slightest scrutiny and now you're trying to backpedal.
bananafeet
Member
I said the mental health is deteriorating in women.
Due to the nature of their addiction and behaviour it's less visible and less outwardly destructive so it gets less attention.
Mental health in men has always been an issue but the rate hasn't gotten worse.
gainslol
Member
That's like focusing on a slow leak in a boat when there's a gaping hole taking in a ton of water.
Sure we can acknowledge both but that's actually the problem in its current form, the majority of what's acknowledged and addressed is women's struggles, while men are suffering more severely and at a higher lethality.
I get what you're trying to say but I see this same thing happen anytime the struggles of men get mentioned. It's that whole "well women have it difficult too" that sidelines the topic at hand.
Many women (not all) will do this all the time when they say things like: "Oh because men don't cheat on women" or "right, because men can't be toxic" and "so you're saying that men don't ..." etc.
It's a form of bringing the focus back to women (whom society currently considers to be the bigger victim who need to be protected at all cost, even if that means at the cost of men).
aromatizer
New Member
BZZZT. yeah...nah bro. recipe for disaster.
bananafeet
Member
You are looking at the issue in a binary way and saying "if men are worse off women must be winning".
In fact the truth is much more sinister. If men suffer women suffer, if women suffer men suffer.
The women who caused me the most trauma when I look back had very big mental issues themselves. Self harm, alcoholism, bisexuality, food addiction etc etc
The point of that lady in the videos was the breakdown of the family unit has exposed more children to trauma and abuse.
I don't see how what I'm saying is controversial.
Superchicken
Member
Depending on her age, low libido could be declining hormones. Testosterone begins to drop off in the 30’s, perimenopause can begin mid 30s, or any history of birth control can contribute. There’s also possibility of thyroid disorders, common in midlife women and will affect libido as well. For all of these things, finding proper care can be tricky because drs see anything in range as acceptable without taking symptoms into consideration.
As a woman who genuinely loves my husband, it made me feel like shit that the desire wasn’t there for me. I never regretted having sex, but I did wish a lot that I wanted it more often. (This wasn’t ever pressure or made to be an issue from him.) I’d always had a solid libido, but hormones and thyroid fucked me with zero warning. Hrt/trt was such an easy fix that it pisses me off to have gone years being told everything was fine.
HeatherSwanson
Member
This is my girl to a T. However, when we got together I made the statement "I have sex 6-7 times a week. I will not yield in this. You do not own my dick you have first dibs."
I had to remind her once about 2 years ago. Unless she's sick or injured, its happening.
I didn't work like a dog for 20+ years to dominate every single aspect of my life to build all the things then provide all the things and then NOT get a minimal aspect of what I want. Bills taken care of, drive a nice car, live in beautiful home, cpl trips a year, savings, dinners out, boat ect... She can damn well put out for 10 minuets everyday.
If you're not getting as much ad you'd like, ask yourself this... If (insert her hottest most favorite celebrity crush here, and don't say she doesn't have one, everyone does) walked in with a hall pass in hand... Would she be ready to go and then you understand in the deepest part of you that the answer is yes... Then you can get mad like I did and arrange your life to get what you want ... After the divorce in my case.
Best of luck!
HeatherSwanson
Member
Can you please read the comment I made above to nawot and weigh in with female opinion? I'm interested to see what you have to say.
Mind sharing more about what you did to get libido back?
Mind sharing more about what you did to get libido back?
gainslol
Member
No, that's not what I said or how I view things, let me try to clarify.
I'm aware that both men and women have struggles and issues. But it's completely possible for one side to be struggling more or harder in this period of time. That doesn't mean that one side is winning.
I'm also aware that there have been times in history where women suffered more. But right now, statistically speaking, that's not the case in most western countries.
My general point is that men's issues constantly get sidelined. There should be a time for both, but that's rarely the case at this particular period in time.
It's kind of like being around children and letting them all talk at the same time. It will result in only the loudest children being heard and taken serious. Ideally, you'd let one child speak at a time, take them serious, and then listen to the next.
bananafeet
Member
You have to realise that nothing is for free. Would you prefer to go back to the middle ages and die in a dual to defend your wife's honour or your sister's honour?
You understand that these "privileges" that you want come with a very hefty pricetag? There has never been a better time to be a man. It just looks shitty when you idolize how the other half live.
If you really think women's issues are front and centre have a look at the poorest segment of our society. It's women in their 50s. Society cares about females who will be fertile. After this period we don't generally give a shit.
The same goes for medications, medical issues, hormone treatments etc Half of the population will suffer a profound change in their hormones leading to permanent cognitive decline and cardiac issues. Is anything done about it?
Anyway I'd rather be agentic than lament how I've been treated by society.
My last point is that men's agression is visible and overt usually. Women have the same level of aggression and it's executed differently. This makes their lives more complicated because they exist within a social fabric that is continuously changing depending on reputation and status.
For us men it's much more about competence, capability and energy. So with all things being balanced I would rather be a male.
just some dude
Member
they’re just better at hiding it because they look more innocent. it starts at home unfortunately.
Superchicken
Member
Sorry been busy and I had a lot to say so didn’t want to rush a response. I wrote a book though, wanted to be thorough.
I had a million different thoughts on this, and this setup wouldn’t work for me. A lot of the things you said are similar thinking to the men I hear stories about. Unless men want to live a bum ass life though, they’re going to work hard and be successful regardless of having a woman or not. By saying those things should afford automatic sex 7 days a week feels cold and transactional. The situation you described is that of a gold digger, not a partnership with two people who love each other. A man who lists all of the monetary benefits he provides can be replaced. Women can find men who will do the same things for them, for less than what you ask.
I think you’d be hard pressed to find a woman long term willing to live by that expectation who is genuinely happy. I don’t think men are trash for thinking this way, points more towards a misunderstanding in the way women are. A woman who isn’t free to say no can’t ever really say yes either, and will eat away at her. It can build quiet resentment and make sex feel like a duty instead of connection. That kills libido. Even if you have a compliant woman, I think men would find it more satisfying to have a one who wants them in a disgusting do anything for you kinda way. That kind of desire isn’t built from an obligation. It feels like a relationship built on a checklist.
A woman can pretend to be fine for years and then be done one day. It’s why all these middle aged women hit perimenopause and divorce their husbands. The men don’t see it coming since they think their paycheck was enough, and if they’re getting laid everything’s good on her end. Usually the woman has tried to communicate what’s missing, but gets shot down or dismissed too many times to bother anymore. She will stick around hoping things get better, but it doesn’t and she breaks. She gets around other women telling her she doesn’t have to put up with it and bails.
Men and women are so different when it comes to sex. For you, it is something that can be done in 10 mins. A woman can take minimum 20 before she’s even properly aroused. That’s not taking into account mentally getting there. Libido is a mental and emotional energy for us, not just a physical response. I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but women have responsive desire and men have spontaneous. Short explanation is women become aroused with things like physical touch, emotional connection, non sexual touch. Men just think of sex and are ready. If a woman thinks that every time she touches you that it leads to sex, then that will kill libido. Figuring out how to build off the responsive desire will help things.
In my own marriage, my husband felt like the ultimate show of love was providing for me and proving his value through his accomplishments. I didn’t need any of that shit, I just wanted him. I think this is common for a lot of couples, and men just don’t have the tools or know what emotional availability even looks like. It’s just so outside of the way men are wired that it doesn’t make sense unless someone lays it out.
Anybody can make a woman cum, but can you put the time and energy into the silly details of her life. It’s why you see movies of women being emotional and then crossing a line with a man, it’s because he met the need of being present and making her feel seen. I’d say the majority of women don’t need sex to feel loved or happy in a relationship, but they’ll crave you if they feel fulfilled.
Women choose man because she wants more than just a dick. If she can use a hall pass, but has been turning you down, it’s because sleeping with a stranger has no expectations. Sleeping with a man you care about out of obligation is lonely and demoralizing. It feels like being a cum bucket. It’s painful, but sex with a stranger isn’t.
I’ve always been a pretty happy person, but mid 30s hit and I started becoming anxious, depression spells, and moody enough that I got on my own nerves. 39/40 was the most difficult for me and, secretly cried myself to sleep almost every night, but pretended everything was fine during the day. Being a woman honestly is a cruel betrayal at each stage. It’s exhausting and even science hasn’t put the effort into figuring us out. Menstrual cycles are a mind fuck and can be inconsistent month to month, perimenopause, menopause, children (even as adults), demands from other family members. It’s lonely and isolating because right when you think you’ve figured yourself out, there’s another fucking curve ball that you don’t know what to do with. I’d have been devastated if my husband left me because we didn’t have enough sex anymore. I had to tell him that I knew something was wrong, and that even if I asked for a divorce to ignore me. It was having a shitty orgasm out of nowhere that made me start searching the internet. I learned then that there are estrogen receptors all throughout the genitalia and that’s what made me see I needed hormones.
For me, going on hrt was a game changer. Everybody thinks testosterone is the key to libido in women, but proper estrogen plays a huge role. It’s been my observation that a lot of drs are idiots who will overdose women on T. I do think the upper limit of the women’s range can be pushed though, especially taking shbg into account. Topical vaginal dhea has been helpful, and studies show it doesn’t go systemic. Test helped me the most with getting super wet easily again.
I know I said a lot, hope there is something helpful in there. FWIW, I don’t care how anyone lives with their significant others, no judgement from me. I only share if asked.
