Meso drug addicts

[VaginaShark]

That's how it starts every time, get complacent, forgot about the consequences, feel like you deserve it, can control it, whatever. Make it your last relapse, next time could be much worse.

Also, motion sickness pills, lol. Haven't hear those mentioned in years.

Anyway, welcome back. Time to get it in and start that log.

Yeah we used to steal Dramamine by the bottles from walmart. It was like a cheap LSD trip. I remember talking to ghosts and shit, it was horrible.
But thanks and like you said, all the more reason to not repeat it. It usually only gets worse.

Welcome back man. I was wondering what happened to you.
Sorry to hear about the relapse, but 2 weeks is a great start. 1 day at a time. And remember you got people here to talk to who have been in the same boat.

I appreciate it man, missed being here.

 

[FL Bulldog]

I'm new to the forum and feel I can give a more complete introduction here than the new members thread. I'm 42 and was a heavy roxi user from 2010-2015. Before the blues I was an avid surfer, always in the gym, and had plenty of friends. Five years and a 10 blue a day habit later I was 145lbs( I'm 5'10), no job or friends(other than people I scored from), and living of 7/11 burritos. I'm sure most of you know where I was at. Last August I was down to my last bit of cash and decider to get on Subs rather than making another run. I ran the Subs for 4 months and tapered off the 5th. In January I got back in the gym and went back to the high school bigger faster stronger routine for three months. I started my first cycle in April.
Started at 155lb
wk 1-3 750 mg sust250
wk 4-9 500mg sust250
wk 10-11 250mg sust 250
I'm now up to 175lb, bench went from 185 to 275, squat from 185 to 315, dl from 205 to 335. This is my first time running anything and I feel like I got 15yrs of my life back! I feel like I might be rambling so I just want to say thanks for this thread and making an ex-junkie feeling welcome.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

I'm new to the forum and feel I can give a more complete introduction here than the new members thread. I'm 42 and was a heavy roxi user from 2010-2015. Before the blues I was an avid surfer, always in the gym, and had plenty of friends. Five years and a 10 blue a day habit later I was 145lbs( I'm 5'10), no job or friends(other than people I scored from), and living of 7/11 burritos. I'm sure most of you know where I was at. Last August I was down to my last bit of cash and decider to get on Subs rather than making another run. I ran the Subs for 4 months and tapered off the 5th. In January I got back in the gym and went back to the high school bigger faster stronger routine for three months. I started my first cycle in April.
Started at 155lb
wk 1-3 750 mg sust250
wk 4-9 500mg sust250
wk 10-11 250mg sust 250
I'm now up to 175lb, bench went from 185 to 275, squat from 185 to 315, dl from 205 to 335. This is my first time running anything and I feel like I got 15yrs of my life back! I feel like I might be rambling so I just want to say thanks for this thread and making an ex-junkie feeling welcome.

Welcome and congrats on getting clean. Smart move using the Subs like they're meant to be used rather than just staying on, too.

 

[viking23]

True! Subs are just as difficult if not more difficult to stop than oxy (after extended use). Granted oxy will have you throw your morals right out the fucking window but I think subs make you feel so normal alot of people don't see a reason to stop. Granted it's all just a mind game!

 

[Perrin Aybara]

I did the methadone clinic thing for almost two years. Subs for five months, I think.

The thing is most of the clinics and doctors don't even try to wean you off since they're about profit.

I know people that have been on one or the other for years and years. If anyone thinks that's what they want to do they should take a long, hard look at someone that's been on for years and think about that. They're generally fat, puffy looking and pale. It decays your teeth, too. Plus the long-term effects of opiate induced constipation is going to be an issue. That's apparently become such a big deal now they've made a medication specifically for it. Decreased sex drive, low test, the list goes on.

 

[FL Bulldog]

Subs are kind of a mind game but they are easier than the soul crushing withdrawals of regular opiates.

 

[viking23]

Well that's the pharma industry ! Here take pill A, it will cure your issue. However if you stop your issue will be 10x's worse until your body regulates itself to work without it again (withdrawal). O you are having a side effect? Well you can tough out withdrawal or take pill B? "We want life easy so what's another pill right?" Then pill C for next side effect, then D, E, etc.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

Subs are kind of a mind game but they are easier than the soul crushing withdrawals of regular opiates.

Agreed. I kicked pretty much every opiate cold turkey at some point and Subs weren't 1/10 what methadone was and nowhere near oxys or heroin either.

lol, pretty much sums it up in your last post @viking23

 

[viking23]

What dose you jump at bulldog? And were you still feeling shitty when you started your cycle?

 

[viking23]

Agreed. I kicked pretty much every opiate cold turkey at some point and Subs weren't 1/10 what methadone was and nowhere near oxys or heroin either.

lol, pretty much sums it up in your last post @viking23

Word that's good to hear! Yeah they aren't bad at a low dose that's for sure! Although I can't sleep for shit first few days off. Was like Spiderman scaling the walls at night, take hot shower and pass out for an hour if I'm lucky, and then repeat!

 

[FL Bulldog]

I was down to 1/8th of a strip eod when I jumped. Didn't sleep well for a week or so. Motrin every 4 hrs and Benadryl helped with the rls.

 

[FL Bulldog]

I was defiantly on the upswing when I started my cycle.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

Word that's good to hear! Yeah they aren't bad at a low dose that's for sure! Although I can't sleep for shit first few days off. Was like Spiderman scaling the walls at night, take hot shower and pass out for an hour if I'm lucky, and then repeat!

That squirming insomnia is the worst part in my opinion. Worse than the sickness and puking because it just lingers and drives you nuts. It's like full body restless leg plus bugs crawling all over you.

I kicked 160mg/day of methadone cold turkey one time. I was on Xanax and Adderall at the time, too. Cold turkey on all three, lost my doctor that was hooking me up. Anyway, that feeling lasted weeks. That's actually when I started going to the clinic. I couldn't take it anymore after a couple weeks and so I began almost two years of the clinic and about five months of Subs before I got off again. One of the worst experiences of my life those couple weeks of withdrawals. Went to the ER a couple times for seizures, but I think they were from the Xanax. Didn't have insurance, so they treated me like scum.

 

[FL Bulldog]

The biggest problem I'm having is learning to be social again. Aside from work the gym is my only social outlet. Meeting new people, especially chicks, without hanging out in a bar is something I need advice on.

 

[FL Bulldog]

The Xanax seizures are the worst imo. Felt like the bug guy in the first Men in Black flick

 

[Perrin Aybara]

I can definitely relate to that. I spent almost a solid decade with my life entirely focused on drugs. Didn't work, didn't go to school, only dated drug addict girls and only had drug addict friends and the only thing we did was get high.

At the end I spent a couple years in and out of jail and rehab and finally did just under two years straight. That's what got me clean. When I got home and was sober I realized I have no idea what normal people do and I cut out all the friends that still got high, which was all of them.

Luckily I met a girl by chance a little over two years ago. A teacher that had never done a drug in her life. We're getting married next year. I'm not a social person at all and I doubt I never will be. I'd just assume read a book alone than hang out with people. She drags me to do normal stuff though and I usually have an alright time.

I've had a steady job almost a year now, which is the longest I've ever had one.

One day at a time I guess. It does get easier.

 

[FL Bulldog]

Congratulations Perrin!

 

[Perrin Aybara]

Thanks! We're going against the grain and doing a January wedding.

She randomly messaged me on Facebook because she liked my profile and I have my favorite books listed. She liked my picture and that I was an avid reader. Kinda had it easy, I know.

Stay clean and focus on yourself and you never know what kind of positive stuff will come your way. I'm a firm believer that you put out positive and you'll attract positive.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

I was talking to a guy at work yesterday that just got home this year after 14 years in federal prison. He'd been sober all that time and six months of being home and ran into an ex-girlfriend and ended up doing some meth with her. Still on parole, too. Crazy to throw away all that time and risk freedom, but that's how addiction works.

 

[Big_paul]

If there is ever a next time reach out brother. Good to see you are in one piece.