OdieM
Banned
I was talking to a guy at work yesterday that just got home this year after 14 years in federal prison. He'd been sober all that time and six months of being home and ran into an ex-girlfriend and ended up doing some meth with her. Still on parole, too. Crazy to throw away all that time and risk freedom, but that's how addiction works.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's a difference in being truely sober and just being dry. While he was locked up he probably never worked the steps and got all his dark shit out that keeps him running back to the drugs to numb it out. It was never truely the drugs for me when I think about it. It was the bad memories of shit I did while on the drugs that kept me high. With that said though, in one month I hit 5 years sober and every since I had my gender reveal party 2 weeks ago where my wife and I found out that we're having a baby girl I've been wanting to get high. FML. Everytime things get good in my life I'm my worst enemy. I quit going to meetings, calling my sponsor and sponsoring guys a few months back and I know that's the only way to smash this shit out of my head but my pride won't let me go back. Thanks for letting me share. Fuckkk
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