i gotta thank the pharmacist for being here. i got some propanolol cuz i saw it can cure phobias and ptsd when used with short immersion therapy so i wanted to try it on my fear of heights. i mean literally paralyzing, hyperventilating fear, vertigo. i couldnt even stand on a 4 ft ladder without feeling scared.
so i went to a little gorge by me. cliffs, dropoffs, and forced myself to stand at the edge. godam that was bad. but then i chewed up the propanolol and went home.
2 days later im at the gorge again and...i walked right up to the edge and felt....almost no fear at all! i was leaning over, going up higher and it was almost fun! from terror to fun. took another dose and left.
yesterday i went up to a balcony that terrified me this winter, got up there and was completely fine, i even leaned over the railing, no hands. no fuckin way could i do that before the propanolol.
