Meso drug addicts

[Flkrkr]

Much re

I was that way till my 30's. Then I realized when I used it was always with a pile of something, with or without some hooker or crackwhore. So, when I am on drugs and alcohol I miss everything. I miss life completely and ruin everyone else's.

I would rather miss drinking and drugs once in a while and get to live my life... and my daughter will never see the monster I am with chemicals in my body. Fucking never.

I can see the point and appreciate all of the input and I realize that I maybe playing with fire by having a beer every now and then but my thoughts are kind of like this.... I really never thought Id be clean my entire life. I spent my teenage years as a junky. Kicked it up a notch once I turned 18 and started banging meth. That lasted till I was about 25 and then the worse thing that could ever happen, did...I was shown how to make it. The worst thing that can happen to someone who loves dope is be shown how to make it. I had a never ending supply...... Thank God I have some great people in my life that never gave up on me (my wife). She said she has always known I had potential. Not sure how she knew that! But anyways I went to rehab and to my standards have been clean ever since. So thats why I feel a beer every now and then is a small reward to myself on how far I have actually come. But I guess I could be playing with fire. But hopefully not!

 

[ChuckSipes]

Much re

I can see the point and appreciate all of the input and I realize that I maybe playing with fire by having a beer every now and then but my thoughts are kind of like this.... I really never thought Id be clean my entire life. I spent my teenage years as a junky. Kicked it up a notch once I turned 18 and started banging meth. That lasted till I was about 25 and then the worse thing that could ever happen, did...I was shown how to make it. The worst thing that can happen to someone who loves dope is be shown how to make it. I had a never ending supply...... Thank God I have some great people in my life that never gave up on me (my wife). She said she has always known I had potential. Not sure how she knew that! But anyways I went to rehab and to my standards have been clean ever since. So thats why I feel a beer every now and then is a small reward to myself on how far I have actually come. But I guess I could be playing with fire. But hopefully not!

how long have you been clean??


i don't think its bad, i think there are some addicts that should never touch anything, but there are some who can still smoke a bit of pot or have a few drinks every now and then without it getting too fucked up.. as long as they steer clear of their poison.

i know i have the urge to party every now and then, and i even tell myself i can have a few drinks and control myself, but i know its very possible that after say 4 - 5 beers if someone suggests getting an 8 ball of coke i will more than likely be into it. which will turn into days without sleep, non stop drinking and cocaine.. then the come down will be so horrific i will turn to the hammer. i cannot deal with hangovers and come downs, thats always when I've turned to hammer or any opiate/benzo to make me feel better.

 

[Mr. Deltoid]

I've done it. It's like combining the entirety of an acid trip into the short intense duration of a few blasts of nitrous oxide or air duster. And istead of the long drawn out miserable comedown that comes with almost every hallucinogen, coming down of DMT came with an almost opiate like euphoria, like floating down from my trip on a cloud.

Yes I've experienced dmt wow what a ride! I used to do alot of halucinagins when I was in my teens an early 20s I've done them all. For me nothing beats good old lsd 25 clean strong I used to love to take large doses and just go inside my head and contemplate the universe. My buddy went to cannabis cup in Holland in 95 and brought back some pharmasutical lsd 25 in a sealed ambule made by sandoz that shit was off the fucking chain you couldn't even compare it to the best blotter or window pane in the states. He also brought back the mushrooms with the red tops and white dots I guess they grow in the woods there and they put our cow shit shrooms to shame not knocking our psylisibin cubenisis I have had some really strong ones I used to pick in Tampa and pasco these were just on a whole nother level. I enjoyed the dmt we smoked it , it was like orange moth balls and I had an out of body experience just wish it lasted longer. One of the strongest things I've taken was angel trumpets they're fucking crazy you'd better have a baby sitter for 8- 10 hrs because you have no idea what's real and what's hallucination. There is an opiate called stadol (butoriphanol sulfate) it's prescribed for extreme migraines and comes in a 5 ml bottle that you attach a pump to and squirt up each nostril well being the addict I was I injected 1ml iv , bad idea I hallucinated so hard that's the only time I actually got freaked out I was sitting on my couch with Nat geo on and it was some guy canoeing down a river all of a sudden my whole house was the woods and river every where I looked I was in the TV I wasn't interacting with the show I just saw it every where I looked it was far worse than iving a bunch of ketamine I ended up in bed with the covers over my head until I came down.

 

[Whoremoans]

Yes I've experienced dmt wow what a ride! I used to do alot of halucinagins when I was in my teens an early 20s I've done them all. For me nothing beats good old lsd 25 clean strong I used to love to take large doses and just go inside my head and contemplate the universe. My buddy went to cannabis cup in Holland in 95 and brought back some pharmasutical lsd 25 in a sealed ambule made by sandoz that shit was off the fucking chain you couldn't even compare it to the best blotter or window pane in the states. He also brought back the mushrooms with the red tops and white dots I guess they grow in the woods there and they put our cow shit shrooms to shame not knocking our psylisibin cubenisis I have had some really strong ones I used to pick in Tampa and pasco these were just on a whole nother level. I enjoyed the dmt we smoked it , it was like orange moth balls and I had an out of body experience just wish it lasted longer. One of the strongest things I've taken was angel trumpets they're fucking crazy you'd better have a baby sitter for 8- 10 hrs because you have no idea what's real and what's hallucination. There is an opiate called stadol (butoriphanol sulfate) it's prescribed for extreme migraines and comes in a 5 ml bottle that you attach a pump to and squirt up each nostril well being the addict I was I injected 1ml iv , bad idea I hallucinated so hard that's the only time I actually got freaked out I was sitting on my couch with Nat geo on and it was some guy canoeing down a river all of a sudden my whole house was the woods and river every where I looked I was in the TV I wasn't interacting with the show I just saw it every where I looked it was far worse than iving a bunch of ketamine I ended up in bed with the covers over my head until I came down.

Holy shit I had no idea pharma LSD existed. That's insane. I've had plenty of awesome mushrooms though a friend of mine would grow them back in the day, in a sort of hydroponic terrarium. No cow shit involved, completely sterile environment, I don't entirely remember what he used but it involved perlite, vermiculite, and spores from some crazy species of mushrooms.

 

[Mr. Deltoid]

Holy shit I had no idea pharma LSD existed. That's insane. I've had plenty of awesome mushrooms though a friend of mine would grow them back in the day, in a sort of hydroponic terrarium. No cow shit involved, completely sterile environment, I don't entirely remember what he used but it involved perlite, vermiculite, and spores from some crazy species of mushrooms.

Yes I used to grow hydro mushrooms under my bed they were a good 4 hours of hilarity , you'd get the yawns then laugh your ass off for four hours I always saw green and red colors off of them. Sandoz still makes lsd 25 in Europe for experiments and some phycologists over in Europe actually use it in a controlled atmosphere to treat different mental illness I believe and end of life counseling like they do in California with mdma.

 

[Flkrkr]

how long have you been clean??


i don't think its bad, i think there are some addicts that should never touch anything, but there are some who can still smoke a bit of pot or have a few drinks every now and then without it getting too fucked up.. as long as they steer clear of their poison.

i know i have the urge to party every now and then, and i even tell myself i can have a few drinks and control myself, but i know its very possible that after say 4 - 5 beers if someone suggests getting an 8 ball of coke i will more than likely be into it. which will turn into days without sleep, non stop drinking and cocaine.. then the come down will be so horrific i will turn to the hammer. i cannot deal with hangovers and come downs, thats always when I've turned to hammer or any opiate/benzo to make me feel better.

My clean date is date is January 15, 2014. And I know exactly how you feel but I had to give into myself slightly because I know that if I get to bored in my skin then Ill be more tempted to go on a run...... Thats just how the addict in me works. Ive been doing good so far.

 

[Flkrkr]

I was that way till my 30's. Then I realized when I used it was always with a pile of something, with or without some hooker or crackwhore. So, when I am on drugs and alcohol I miss everything. I miss life completely and ruin everyone else's.

I would rather miss drinking and drugs once in a while and get to live my life... and my daughter will never see the monster I am with chemicals in my body. Fucking never.

I definitely appreciate that.... I am a level 5 tornado on dope and nothing in my path is safe from destruction. By knowing this I am able to keep myself from ever going back.

 

[brutus79]

I definitely appreciate that.... I am a level 5 tornado on dope and nothing in my path is safe from destruction. By knowing this I am able to keep myself from ever going back.

I knew it from the first rehab at 16, first incarceration at 18, first felony arrest at 19, first time living in an abandoned building with fellow junkies dying from aids, etc. Knowledge and fear kept me clean for periods of time- sometimes long periods... but the same old me always ended up finding a wrong place, wrong time scenario to shove that needle in my arm. Hopefully you fare better.

 

[Notits]

I definitely appreciate that.... I am a level 5 tornado on dope and nothing in my path is safe from destruction. By knowing this I am able to keep myself from ever going back.

If "we" were able to keep ourselves from going back we would not be addicts. The single fact that we cannot and never will have that power defines us.

 

[Mr. Deltoid]

I knew it from the first rehab at 16, first incarceration at 18, first felony arrest at 19, first time living in an abandoned building with fellow junkies dying from aids, etc. Knowledge and fear kept me clean for periods of time- sometimes long periods... but the same old me always ended up finding a wrong place, wrong time scenario to shove that needle in my arm. Hopefully you fare better.

Boy I can relate to that brother shit if the dope killed someone even a friend I was on a mission to get some. Addiction is a crazy state of mind and unless you've been there you can't possibly understand.

 

[Whoremoans]

Boy I can relate to that brother shit if the dope killed someone even a friend I was on a mission to get some. Addiction is a crazy state of mind and unless you've been there you can't possibly understand.

The shit that's killin everybody is that fire so naturally you want it. Crazy state of mind indeed.

 

[Mr. Deltoid]

If "we" were able to keep ourselves from going back we would not be addicts. The single fact that we cannot and never will have that power defines us.

Ain't that the truth people who aren't addicts can't possibly understand what it is to be saddled with the addictive frame of mind.

 

[Big_paul]

I was on opiates and amphetamines daily. Heroin, meth, adderall, opana Ritalin, oxycodone, exc. as much of it as I could get, breakfast lunch and dinner. Hard liquor all night, every night. Oh and I was probably the biggest stoner you could ever know. Worked 60 hours a week plus sold stuff on the side and ever dollar I made went to getting higher. Fast forward to now and I haven't don't hard drugs in 8 months, haven't smoked weed in about 5 months. I still have a couple beers sometimes but it's very rare, only on holidays or special occasions. The last time I drank was the 4th of July.

Dam brother this hurts to read. Its hard to shake that monkey. I have no choice now, its do or die for me. My slave days are over.

 

[OdieM]

Lol nah seriously my sponsor just set me up to go to a rehab and tell my story this Friday. I hit 4 years clean a few days ago on the 1st. One day at a time my friends.

 

[Big_paul]

Cocaine was my drug of choice also alcohol and vikes
Since I was a slinging I would sniff while bagging up
Drank to try to keep that coke head jaw moving from side to side vikes to chill out vicious circle
I would sniff the reup money steal from or BE (breaking n entering) Rob car stereos for my habits
Had my son and still didn't learn still drank and sniffed
Cocaine is a Hella of a drug
It took God it took God went to to church with my wife gave my life to him been years since I touch anything don't even feel the erge
I go back to the good and see the same ppl doing the same shit it's sad there eyes have no hope
I pray to God for them

Its the only thing that worked for me. If have to be a holy roller to stay sober, praise the Lord.

 

[Big_paul]

Nothing short of a miracle any of us are still alive.

 

[ChuckSipes]

Lol nah seriously my sponsor just set me up to go to a rehab and tell my story this Friday. I hit 4 years clean a few days ago on the 1st. One day at a time my friends.

fuckin awesome work man!! salute

 

[Whoremoans]

Dam brother this hurts to read. Its hard to shake that monkey. I have no choice now, its do or die for me. My slave days are over.

I'll never fall back into that world. I see my old friends still doing the same shit, all looking like they're on the verge of death. I wish they would try to get some help too..

 

[Mr. Deltoid]

Lol nah seriously my sponsor just set me up to go to a rehab and tell my story this Friday. I hit 4 years clean a few days ago on the 1st. One day at a time my friends.

Congratulations on your clean time brother keep moving forward remember where you came from and don't go back!

 

[pmac928]

I'll never fall back into that world. I see my old friends still doing the same shit, all looking like they're on the verge of death. I wish they would try to get some help too..

Ill.do anything to help anyone only if they will help themselves. If.you arent willing to change nothing i do can be of any help.