Recovery Log!! (in HM ONLY)

It feels good to be able to walk around without worrying "Did I apply my gel today?" it's sort of a liberating feeling. It will probably take time for my libido to come back but workouts are good and mood is more consistent. I also feel more optimistic in general. For some reason I felt "trapped" on TRT. I just had to schedule my entire life around my gel applications and worrying about transference and sweating off the stuff. Now I feel more free (even if my levels are SLIGHTLY lower than while on the gel not a lot even).

It feels good to walk around outside with my own endogenous hormones.

This has been a super long journey for me with many restart attempts (and failures) lol

The good thing is im in my 30's and if at some point there are new technologies and new delivery methods for TRT (maybe along the lines of androxal, or even DNA techniques) then I can always re-explore TRT when I am in my 40's.

For now I am happy with my decision and will be focusing on all the lovely benefits of being natural :)

My boys are hanging low!
I'm getting regular morning wood
My mood feels more consistent overall
My workouts are solid and im actually lifting more weight!
I feel more free when im walking around (psychological but still)

I am also looking forward to having a loving relationship where I can father children at some point and WONT need to use Beta Hcg or clomid or whatever!

So things are good and life is good and this log is pretty much complete.

Will check in from time to time but otherwise peace out y'all. :) ciao.
 
Had some of the best sex I've had in awhile. Libido (desire) is still low but function is good. I was able to bone twice and orgasm feels a lot better.

Not sure if this is psychological but when I was on TRT when I busted a nut I would jump out of bed and had zero interest in the girl after. But today after I busted a nut I wanted to relax and chat and enjoy the peaceful afterglow.

Do the testicles release some feel good hormones or chemicals after orgasm?????

Anyone have info on this? Thnx
 
I'm getting more consistent morning wood and sustained morning wood (like it doesn't go away when I wake up) than I did while on TRT.

The body is so complex.

I tried every variation of TRT but my own endogenous hormones feel better for me even with low normal levels.
 
It seems I have to take Tamoxifen every 5 days or so to maintain how I feel. When I stop taking it I start to feel low T symptoms again specifically ....

Energy crashes
Cold intolerance
Voice sounds weaker
Less drive/motivation
Body feels smaller weaker

2.5mg e5d seems to be enough.

This still isn't a bad solution considering it's 1/4th of a tablet you pop every 5 days and it's your own endogenous testosterone and I see it as "nudging" your own HPTA to produce bit more hormones.

I think without the tamoxifen I would be back to my old baseline around 200 but with tamoxifen I'm around 400 levels.

I would say for fertility and convenience and endogenous hormones it's not a bad solution.
 
Bad news.

New blood work came back 190ng/dl.

That's way too low :(

Ironically I feel ok overall.

I have contacted my doctor and will see what he says.
 
Tyler
You said you feel ok until you saw your numbers. I would bet if your results were 500 you would feel amazing.
Gotta wonder of a lot of this is in your head otherwise you you would of said you felt badly.
 
Lol I actually feel pretty decent overall. There's no way I would think I was sitting under 200 right now. I had a decent workout and my mood is ok too.
 
Since I feel fairly decent and don't want to jump back on testosterone i'm going to take 5mg Tamoxifen on Wednesday and then recheck my levels to see if I can maintain low normal levels with occasional SERM use.
 
Tyler
The problem with Tomoxifan is that we dont know what it does to other cells in your body. I have heard if a potoential risk of prostate cancer. Not due to higher levels of T but tomoxifan activates estrogen in other parts of the body and can cause estrogenic issues.
We just dont know. I do know for a fact tomoxifan raises my shbg which is not good when evaluating free T.
However, i did use it prior to getting life insurance as it lowers cholesterol. Im always around 200 no matter how good i diet. I brought it down to 165 with tomoxifan ( 10 mgs oer day).
 
Tyler
I think both you and i have similar hormone issues. I too would rather recover naturally.
For some reason, if my T levels are 500 on T replacement i feel as if my hair is a bit affected as well as some water retention in my face.
If i am at 500 with clomid or tomox, i dont get those affects. Very strange.
 
For me endogenous hormones feel better interms of testicular health, mood stability, orgasms, even morning wood and errections.

The side effects of longterm SERM use are unknown but honestly some guys are on low dose Clomid for 5+ years at EOD or E3D protocol so I think it should be fine.

Just got my eyes checked and they perfectly healthy so no issues there.
 
I just took 5mg Tamoxifen and will recheck testosterone levels tomorrow.

I want to see what my afternoon levels are 24 hours post SERM.
 
I took Tamoxifen around 4pm and few hours later i'm feeling really really good.

Feel calm
Feel hungry
Feel an "alpha" feeling
Feel more energy in my body
Feel more resonance in my voice

There's no way im below 200 right now. Will check my levels tomorrow.

I think Tamoxifen e4-5 days will work. At the proper dose of 5mg (not 2.5mg)
 
I honestly feel better than i've EVER felt on TRT right now!! I feel like superman.

I want to benchpress a tree. lol.
 
If I could do a bloodtest RIGHT NOW I would because whatever levels i'm at this is the level I function best at. I would guess it's around 400. I will quantify this feeling tomorrow ....

Needless to say, im staying off treatment. lol.
 
Also, if I do a bloodtest tomorrow and it comes back at like 200 ng/dl well then fuck it lol

Maybe my body doesnt NEED a ton of testosterone to function well. I have low SHBG so my body utilizes whatever it has efficiently. All I know is I feel pretty damn good right now and there's zero reason to go back on a treatment where i felt average/not good.

I would guess i'm between 300-400 but will find out.

This rocks!!!

I almost made the dumb decision to go back on again. Jesus christ.
 
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