MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Recovery Log!! (in HM ONLY)
- Thread starter Tyler81
- Start date
Jesus I'm so horny I can't even sleep right now. I haven't felt like this in YEARS. Literally since the gel stopped absorbing back in 2012.
This shows total testosterone is not the be all and end all of libido. I'm so horny right now I could destroy a vagina with testosterone levels of 200ng/dl.
This shows it's not necessarily total testosterone but the overall homeostasis in a persons body that creates libdio.
I was sitting at 800-1000 levels on TRT at times with zero libido.
God damn.
I didn't think this recovery would take me here this fast. I wasn't expecting libdio to come back for a long time and I had forgot what a libido even feels like!!!!!
To be able to have sexual thoughts and spontaneous boners again is awesome
I feel so fucking grateful right now. I cannot even express it in words.
This shows total testosterone is not the be all and end all of libido. I'm so horny right now I could destroy a vagina with testosterone levels of 200ng/dl.
This shows it's not necessarily total testosterone but the overall homeostasis in a persons body that creates libdio.
I was sitting at 800-1000 levels on TRT at times with zero libido.
God damn.
I didn't think this recovery would take me here this fast. I wasn't expecting libdio to come back for a long time and I had forgot what a libido even feels like!!!!!
To be able to have sexual thoughts and spontaneous boners again is awesome
I feel so fucking grateful right now. I cannot even express it in words.
Yup I am doing bloodwork today.
I dont think it's just the tamoxifen. I think my body is back in balance now.
I dont think my body NEEDS high testosterone levels due to my low binding (SHBG).
So my free testosterone is probably quite good right now and my body is back in balance.
Feeling tired and shit again this afternoon.
Did a bloodtest to try to quantify how im feeling.
Took another 5mg Tamoxifen at 330pm today to try to get that boost I felt yesterday.
The problem with daily SERM use is that it starts to have a detrimental effect on mood, and libido. Whereas occasional use seems to be fine.
Did a bloodtest to try to quantify how im feeling.
Took another 5mg Tamoxifen at 330pm today to try to get that boost I felt yesterday.
The problem with daily SERM use is that it starts to have a detrimental effect on mood, and libido. Whereas occasional use seems to be fine.
I have no idea where that random burst of hornyness came from yesterday. Like, I couldnt even sleep and had to take a gravol. I kept having sexual thoughts and spontaneous boners.
In an effort to replicate it I took another 5mg Tamoxifen few hours ago but not having the same effect.
This libido stuff is so complicated lol
Unless the levels are really low on this new blood test I will probably just stay off treatment and give my body more time to get back into balance. Maybe yesterday was a GLIMPSE of what is possible but my body is still trying to achieve some sort of homeostatis.
In an effort to replicate it I took another 5mg Tamoxifen few hours ago but not having the same effect.
This libido stuff is so complicated lol
Unless the levels are really low on this new blood test I will probably just stay off treatment and give my body more time to get back into balance. Maybe yesterday was a GLIMPSE of what is possible but my body is still trying to achieve some sort of homeostatis.
Tyler
I dont know why you keep wanting to replicate the insane libido you may of got the other day. It is very unnatural for a grown man to have a libido of an 18 year old.
When you are 18 you really dont have any stress or responsibility so thinking about sex all day is kind of normal.
As we age we encounter more stress: kids, mortgage payments, job, health, and a million other things. You do not want to be thinking of sex 24/7, its not productive.
I dont know why you keep wanting to replicate the insane libido you may of got the other day. It is very unnatural for a grown man to have a libido of an 18 year old.
When you are 18 you really dont have any stress or responsibility so thinking about sex all day is kind of normal.
As we age we encounter more stress: kids, mortgage payments, job, health, and a million other things. You do not want to be thinking of sex 24/7, its not productive.
Good news.
TT at 2pm next day after 5mg Tamoxifen 10nmol/L
(without Tamoxifen it was 6.6nmol/L at 2pm)
So the tamoxifen is definetly boosting my testosterone.
I think e4-5d at 5mg Tamoxifen would be a viable solution for me.
Taking it everyday or EOD makes me moody and dulls my sex drive.
TT at 2pm next day after 5mg Tamoxifen 10nmol/L
(without Tamoxifen it was 6.6nmol/L at 2pm)
So the tamoxifen is definetly boosting my testosterone.
I think e4-5d at 5mg Tamoxifen would be a viable solution for me.
Taking it everyday or EOD makes me moody and dulls my sex drive.
My best guess is I was lower than 6.6nmol/L the other day, and after I took the Tamoxifen, I got a nice testosterone boost. This is confirmed with next day blood work. Around 3.5 nmol/L boost which is +100 pts and I think beyond the margin of error.
Problem is, more is not better cause when I dosed again the next day I didnt get the same feeling.
"Less is more" with SERMS imho.
You basically want to figure out the minimum dose and maximal dosing interval to keep your testosterone in the normal range. This will minimize adverse side effects on mood, libido, well-being while maximizing strength, energy, and "alpha" testosterone feeling.
For me this dose seems to be 5mg every 4-5 days.
I tried 2.5mg but that dose was not enough. I tried 5mg once/week but that was not enough either. I tried ed and eod but that was too much. So e4-5d seems about right for me.
Problem is, more is not better cause when I dosed again the next day I didnt get the same feeling.
"Less is more" with SERMS imho.
You basically want to figure out the minimum dose and maximal dosing interval to keep your testosterone in the normal range. This will minimize adverse side effects on mood, libido, well-being while maximizing strength, energy, and "alpha" testosterone feeling.
For me this dose seems to be 5mg every 4-5 days.
I tried 2.5mg but that dose was not enough. I tried 5mg once/week but that was not enough either. I tried ed and eod but that was too much. So e4-5d seems about right for me.
Final answer boys!
Tamoxifen 5mg e4-5d as my TRT protocol.
Preserves my fertility.
Keeps me in the normal range.
Allows me to have more freedom for activities (excercise, bars, roadtrips, sex, etc)
Gives me more mental clarity due to my testicles working .... not sure why exactly.
Saves me from being reliant on these stupid gel packets for the rest of my life. lol.
It's not perfect, but no TRT protocol is.
Cheers guys,
Ps I hope this log inspires/helps other guys who want to get off TRT.
Tamoxifen 5mg e4-5d as my TRT protocol.
Preserves my fertility.
Keeps me in the normal range.
Allows me to have more freedom for activities (excercise, bars, roadtrips, sex, etc)
Gives me more mental clarity due to my testicles working .... not sure why exactly.
Saves me from being reliant on these stupid gel packets for the rest of my life. lol.
It's not perfect, but no TRT protocol is.
Cheers guys,
Ps I hope this log inspires/helps other guys who want to get off TRT.
There's this feeling off treatment that I cant quite explain. It's like a feeling of being "healthier" or more "solid" or "whole" than while on exgoneous testosterone. This is even with lower levels. It's almost like a peace of mind that your own body is producing it's own hormones but I think it is more than psychological because there is a mental clarity and better feeling of healthyness and wholeness too.
I've decided I'm going to stay off treatment for the next 10 years.
I figure it may take upto a year for my body to re-balance itself and I am going to be patient and not do anything stupid like I have in the past and go back on treatment.
The gel sux for me and I dont want back on. It was causing digestion issues, wasnt providing any sort of vitality energy or physique benefits. And I had brain fog too.
Off treatment I feel strong and healthy and mentally clear. My digestion issues are gone. And my physique is starting to get more ripped again.
Coming off treatment is one of the best decisions i've made in a long time.
I am posting this to remind myself how much better I feel off treatment.
If I ever second guess myself, or wonder if I should go back on the gel, the answer is....
FUCK NO!!!!
Peace.
I've decided I'm going to stay off treatment for the next 10 years.
I figure it may take upto a year for my body to re-balance itself and I am going to be patient and not do anything stupid like I have in the past and go back on treatment.
The gel sux for me and I dont want back on. It was causing digestion issues, wasnt providing any sort of vitality energy or physique benefits. And I had brain fog too.
Off treatment I feel strong and healthy and mentally clear. My digestion issues are gone. And my physique is starting to get more ripped again.
Coming off treatment is one of the best decisions i've made in a long time.
I am posting this to remind myself how much better I feel off treatment.
If I ever second guess myself, or wonder if I should go back on the gel, the answer is....
FUCK NO!!!!
Peace.
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Other benefits to being off treatment:
Workouts are better and I get nice testosterone boost after vs. feeling drained.
My physique is getting more cut/ripped ... im holding less water weight in face, body.
Sex might be bit worse but erections and orgasm are way better. Libido will take time.
I feel healthier and I am cooking healthier meals and taking better care of myself.
Hair looks thicker and fuller.
Mental clarity is much improved ... feel way less foggy headed.
There is at least one downside ... fatigue. But it's no worse than when I was on the gel. It's just that evenings I feel like relaxing more off treatment whereas on the gel I would reapply so I would have an extra boost of energy in the evenings. For all the benefits, that one downside I can live with.
Workouts are better and I get nice testosterone boost after vs. feeling drained.
My physique is getting more cut/ripped ... im holding less water weight in face, body.
Sex might be bit worse but erections and orgasm are way better. Libido will take time.
I feel healthier and I am cooking healthier meals and taking better care of myself.
Hair looks thicker and fuller.
Mental clarity is much improved ... feel way less foggy headed.
There is at least one downside ... fatigue. But it's no worse than when I was on the gel. It's just that evenings I feel like relaxing more off treatment whereas on the gel I would reapply so I would have an extra boost of energy in the evenings. For all the benefits, that one downside I can live with.
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