Steroids and addiction
ive been at this for over 20 years, nothing very heavy but cycles nonetheless. why did i start using steroids? they work ! i always enjoyed lifting weights but just stopped growing no matter what i did. my body simply reached its full potential.
however, i was also insecure and somewhat shy. additionally i was depressed as well, off and on but enough to always make me feel as if i was different from everyone else.
steroids : i was always intrigued with steroids but had the usual trepadation of taking them; after all, they made you go bald and caused cancer and sterility. really ?. well, after some research, i came to the conclusion that steroids, when taken resposibly are actually pretty darn safe.
my first cycle was winstrol tabs ( 2 mgs 3x per day) . i put on 12 pounds in 8 weeks and was finally benching over 300 which was alot considering i weighed 168..i loved the pumps i got innthe gym, i loved seeing my shirts get tighter, and i loved seeing my body transform itself into the body i should of had with all the work i put into the gym. 6 mgs of winstrol tabs a day is barely a cycle but i justresponded so well. thats when i started my 3 months on, 3 months off career and graduated to anadrol-50 as well as parabolan and permistril. keep in mind, the the late 1980's and early 90's, i had a friend in the service over in europe and he would send us things straight from a pharmacy..none of this powder from china bull shit to where the powder says tren but its only test....
anyway, more than anything, i loved the person i had become..i became much more confident and out going ..plenty of friends and girl friends..a good thing of course...
problem was, my insecurity and shyness was still there but was masked by the steroids. what hapapens when i go off and revert back to " normal" ? where will all of that confidence come from
now? if im at a club with a hot girl no one will screw with a big guy. a small guy, forget it.. everyone will hit on her. this is what kept me going. i was always afraid to stay off and confront my true issues and this is what i am dealing with now.. this is the addiction part of it. NOT EVERYONE is taking steroids for the same reasons as i was but there are plenty that do. remember, for whatever reason, you are going to have to eventually come off. eventually the music does stop and you will need to get your confidence from within. when you are on a cycle, you have an edge in life, you are bigger, stronger, and walk with a swagger . but when its all gone, how will you deal with it? i guess you could just worry about that when the time comes.