another joke

[thick]

Big Louie's elbow:
>
>
> > One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Big Louie says to Mike behind him,
> > "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
> >
> > "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
>"There's
> > a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and
>the
> > computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
> > seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
> >
> > So Big Louie deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
> > He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> > sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
>the
> > computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
> > water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
> >
> > That evening ! while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Big Louie
> > began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,
>a
> > urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
> > masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> > Big Louie hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
>ten
> > dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> > The computer prints the following:
> >
> > 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> >
> > 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti fungal shampoo.
> >
> > 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> >
> > 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> >
> > 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
> > better.
>

 

[Grizzly]

That's funny. Big Louie's got some serious problems. Not only does he have tennis elbow, but he's still got FF's watch in his rectum.

 

[big louie]

his watch is still there? last i heard it was back in FF rectum and now wrapped around your wanker! i wonder how it "ended" (pun intended) up there?

bwahahahahahah

Oh and this i think i liked you better when you were on vacation! - lol

 

[thick]

this joke was in no way directed at u my good ol buddy

 

[Chip Bronson]

lmfao louie.... good comeback bro.

 

[Grizzly]

How'd you get it out of your ass, Louie? Did you send in a rescue hamster?

 

[Chip Bronson]

How'd you get it out of your ass, Louie? Did you send in a rescue hamster?

lmfao!!!!

this has the makings of a great cable sitcom. i say cable because of the obvious 'r' rating it would carry...

 

[Bob Smith]

How'd you get it out of your ass, Louie? Did you send in a rescue hamster?

The hamster died on his mission, so Louie sent in a a team of search and rescue gerbils.

 

[ThePatriot]

LOL that is some funny shit.

 

[The-Juice-Man]

funny

Big Louie's elbow:
>
>
> > One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Big Louie says to Mike behind him,
> > "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
> >
> > "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
>"There's
> > a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and
>the
> > computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
> > seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
> >
> > So Big Louie deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
> > He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
> > sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
>the
> > computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
> > water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
> >
> > That evening ! while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Big Louie
> > began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,
>a
> > urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
> > masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> > Big Louie hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
>ten
> > dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> > The computer prints the following:
> >
> > 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> >
> > 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti fungal shampoo.
> >
> > 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> >
> > 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> >
> > 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
> > better.
>

Poor big louie. I have the same problem.

 

[VDC]

Hey I like cats,,,Sometime I'll tell y'all about Fritz,,,He was a male calico with 6 toes on each paw,,,He was a trip,,,

Funny thread ,,,VDC

 

[Chip Bronson]

at the request of his good bud grizzly, big louie decided to join the foreign legion in hopes of getting away from the plethora of goofy chick that plagued his soul. of course, several days after his arrival louie was feeling the absence of chicks in his life. his hands and johnson were ripped raw from all the non-stop stroking and even the medicated ointment couldn't help him. he shared this grizzly and grizzly told him about a possible solution to his problem. grizzly told him about the fuck barrel behind the mess-hall and how all the guys would take turns fucking it. louie wasn't sure about all this but, seeing how he had no other recourse, he decided to investigate this proposition. so he went and sought out the love-barrel. sure enough, it was right where grizz said it would be. louie sized up the barrel and finally put his cock into the hole on the side of it. 'hmm, pretty good', he thought to himself. and that's where louie spent every free waking moment over the next few days. when he saw grizzly again later in the week he thanked him for turning him onto the barrel and asked him if it was ok to be fucking it so much. grizz said, 'sure bro, no problem at all. just remember, next week it's your turn to stand in the barrel...'

 

[Chip Bronson]

a black guy and a white guy are having lunch at work. (no the black guy at work is not the joke, read on...). the topic of black guys being hung like a horse comes up.

'is it true all you brothers are hung like horses?', asks the white dude.

'nah yo', replied the brother. 'we just fakes it real good yo.'

'how so?' says the white guy.

'here's whatcha gosta do yo.' says the brother. 'when youz fuckin yo bitch put it in real quick-like and pull it out reeeeel slooooow. that creates the illusion of having a long dick.'

'damn, that's clever. i'll try it tonight.' says the white dude.

that night the white is fucking his wife using the technique the brother described to him. in the middle of the fucking the wife looks up at him and says, 'honey, why are you fucking like a nigger?...'

 

[Chip Bronson]

why did the blonde college gal fuck a mexican?

because her professor told her to go do an essay....

 

[thick]

ha ha, leave it to grizz to know where the f**k barrel is