MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Ban 350Lift!
- Thread starter Sworder
- Start date
I know. That willpower is there and if you can see it thru, your life will be better, you’ll be stronger. That will benefit your life immensely.
The kolonopin is prescribed by a doctor. But it’s purpose is to help you cope. As long as you can honestly evaluate that for yourself and say that it allows you to have a better life (because no matter what you do the stress, anxiety and anger is too overwhelming) then it’s beneficial. But if all it’s doing is numbing you, then it’s not a positive in your life and you really would be better without it.
I heard from a doctor friend that almost half the population is medicated for depression or anxiety. That’s a stunning statistic and you need to make your own informed decisions, some of which result in temporary discomfort. Battle thru it though and you’re better prepared for the next.
Sworder
Member
Pissed me off? I am only acting
All anger is internal. I can choose to create anger and make myself an angry dude. I choose not to carry a bunch of bowling balls around and smile instead. 'Cuz why not? F*ck what everyone else is doing. Caring is what got me in the mess in the first place.
Here on Meso we are all brothers whether we like it or not.
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Yeah it’s just the chest man, left a deep rage inside of me. Had my soul stolen from me.
there’s a lot here in my life. So while we’re on the topic, I took a pill at a party when I was 19 supposed to be molly but was probably meth considering I was in California.
since then I experience electrical buzzing in my head and body whenever I’m extremely stimulated whether it be music or whatever etc probably seizure related. After that night one of my pupils was a different size from the other. Had an MRA done and likely I have vasculitis which can cause blindness or paralysis etc I experience physical tremors. A very weird effect I have is if I watch porn I experience severe headaches and a drooping facial expression and a swollen thyroid and very quick muscle atrophy. (Probably due to a higher dopamine release in the brain)
my flight or fight response is constantly active no matter the situation.
I specifically told the doctor I don’t want to take a daily med I’m using kolonopin as application to learn how to not be anxious in normal situations.
I’ve had this anxiety before I ever did drugs thouhh. It’s the only thing that helps. Even xanax doesn’t help me so the kolonopin is very specific in action. I take it and even the physical symptoms like thyroid and muscle atrophy basically go away so some weird sort of electrical activity going on in my brain. Also got a spot possibly lesion on my brain stem.
Anyways the main thing the kolonopin is doing for me is taking all the stuff going on in my head at one time and slowing it down so I can properly function.
everytime I take one I use it to sort of get a new perspective on everything.
The Brain is plastic and thought patterns are simply just solidified neurological pathways in the brain. I’m using kolonopin to get a new perspective and build new neurological pathways so when I come off it completely I’ll have those new pathways “thinking patterns”
this kind of application would never work if it were taken daily I need to be able to contrast anxiety versus no anxiety that’s the reason for on and off days.
99.9 percent of patients would never have this kind of strategy regarding a medication. They’d use it as a crutch and believe they need it forever.
I just believe I can learn from the new mindset and altered situations
and I can honestly say it’s working in the way that I had intended. Which is astounding. Usually patients stall out, and need to up the dose. I find myself needing less
T&H
Well-known Member
Y'all kiss and make up,else I'll create a "Petition to ban Sworder and 350lift" thread. 
Do it no ballsY'all kiss and make up,else I'll create a "Petition to ban Sworder and 350lift" thread.
@Sworder
Fuck you man.
You REALLY had me going with the cow story.
I seriously thought you were going to say something profound.
Got me, laughed my ass off.
I needed that lol, thanks.
@350lift good to hear your trying to get into a better state of mind.
It's quite helpful to view thing positively.
It took me a while to get there, my biggest factor was marrying my wife.
I just REFUSE to be angry about anything when I get home.
Even if I have the worst day imaginable, I always walk in the door with a big smile on my face. (Park in the driveway and listen to some classical, Mozart, Bach, Debussy, Rachmaninoff)
Then get in there and be happy.
This eventually helped me in all other facets of my life.
My point?
Find a start point.
Focus on ONE thing and the rest will hopefully come.
Good luck brother.
Fuck you man.
You REALLY had me going with the cow story.
I seriously thought you were going to say something profound.
Got me, laughed my ass off.
I needed that lol, thanks.
@350lift good to hear your trying to get into a better state of mind.
It's quite helpful to view thing positively.
It took me a while to get there, my biggest factor was marrying my wife.
I just REFUSE to be angry about anything when I get home.
Even if I have the worst day imaginable, I always walk in the door with a big smile on my face. (Park in the driveway and listen to some classical, Mozart, Bach, Debussy, Rachmaninoff)
Then get in there and be happy.
This eventually helped me in all other facets of my life.
My point?
Find a start point.
Focus on ONE thing and the rest will hopefully come.
Good luck brother.
Colt44
Well-known Member
I'm gonna start a petition to not allow people to start petitions.
Appreciate this man
The Terminator
Well-known Member
Did you know there was a time when no one gave much thought to herpes, and why should they it’s just a skin rash. Then big pharma came out with meds to treat it and all of a sudden it became a huge deal lol. They’ve done similar things with tranquilizer, anti-depressants and pain killers, making people think they need these drugs..some people do but not this many. That’s probably why so many people are on those drugs
Sworder
Member
What have you done to get rid of that?! NOTHING!
You don't know how to, you don't have a routine for relieving stress and I am going to make all you members here on Meso mediate for inner peace. No joke, I have a couple experiments that will be done in maybe 6-12 months too.
Ok, your paranoia is from all those DARE videos or whatever you saw. Trust me, I know TONS of people that have been on meth and taken pills every weekend for years and they are still coherent. Haha, I am by no means endorsing recreational drug use however I will say the human body is extremely resilient. You know those hobos, oops I mean "transients" that survive off alcohol, cigarettes and no food? For decades!!
This is stress, when I say it is stress, I mean it is real. Everything is REAL, however, if you would relax, the problems would go away. Don't get too caked in and DO NOT believe doctor's diagnosis, there is NOTHING wrong with you! And Yes I do understand so don't even say that.
Jesus with that IQ of yours no wonder you are worrying yourself to death. You know, it's not a good thing to be smart. Relax, stop thinking ALL THE TIME.
It is your stress! It is all YOU. You can chose not to think about stuff in your head.
How about this, try this breathing technique for one month, I want you to measure your pulse and BP every morning and I want you to do this every morning. If you do this, and your overall head or BP/pulse hasn't gotten better, I will send you $100? You have to keep a daily log here on Meso tho, I can create it for you.
Deal?
No, you don't want to take klonopin at all, it makes you forget shit too. I don't remember much of a couple years when I was taking xanax, like reading my own posts from them I don't even recognize myself it's some scary drugs. And you don't even notice that you are changing.
Also, you are making yourself mentally addicted to those pills. "I need these pills to think in positive ways." And you can't deny that, the brain will automatically associate those two things.
Learn from people that have been in your shoes! Be smart enough to know that you may not know everything right now. But we are stubborn men so we think we do. Trust others, and then you can look back at yourself in a couple months and see where you are at. What's the worst that can happen? Have you even been trying to do anything drastic to make a change? DRASTIC!
Sworder
Member
People are so confused now that they are on drugs to be on other drugs, and other drugs to counter that first drug, and then one to boost the second and third drug. Then a drug to add to the second one and to lower the first one, and then one to add to the fifth and one to boost the first one while lowering the fourth one. And so forth and so forth...
Sworder. I had a magnetic resonance angiography on my brain and a neurologist wanted to refer me to a specialist in San Francisco. Diagnosed vasculitis and an abnormal “something” on my brain stem. Not everything can be solved with your mind
ever heard of the class of dissociative drugs? They’re some of the only ones to actually show brain damage
Sworder
Member
Tell me 100% certainty this isn't caused by all the stress you have, and ALL the drugs you are taking, the lack of sleep you are getting, the crappy diet. Fix all that and your problems will go away, GUARANTEED! Also, get a family that isn't connected by blood, find a father figure for advice, be with people man!
And even though this is a steroid forum, get off the FUCKING STEROIDS at your AGE. TRT dose MAX! Until you fix all the other shit in your life.
The electrical buzzing is possibly seizures temporal/reflex seizures which can be brought on by drug use.
also smoked k2 when I was younger a few times.
the electrical buzzing is actually pleasurable it feels good but it’s abnormal. It’s one reason I like the gym so much because it releases so many endorphins for me it makes me feel better than anything
also smoked k2 when I was younger a few times.
the electrical buzzing is actually pleasurable it feels good but it’s abnormal. It’s one reason I like the gym so much because it releases so many endorphins for me it makes me feel better than anything
Sworder if you take a drug and wake up with seperate size pupils and neck pain, something isn’t right. Even caffeine dilated my pupils. It’s called anisocoria. I’ve had numerous doctors now tell me I need to get the vasculitis checked out. That’s inflammation of blood vessels inside the brain it’s nothing that’s caused by stress
it’s an autoimmune disorder
This is the equivalent of telling someone with a brain lesion or cancer or hyperthyroidism or color blindness or Parkinson’s that they can be fixed with proper diet. Medications are made for a reason the treatment for vasculitis is an immuno suppressant which stops the immune system from attacking the blood vessels that can’t be fixed through proper sleep
this is originally why your posts were stressing me out because not everything can be solved with some shit like that
Sworder
Member
Caffiene is a CNS stimulant, that doesn't surprise me at all.
Do you understand the widow effect that I posted in the other thread? The spouse that dies from stress? You don't think your stress can cause a little fucking neck pain? Mike Tyson lost patches of hair from Alopecia and that's caused by stress FOR SURE. Are you fucking kidding me? You must be joking with yourself or something? Are you trolling yourself? Do you really think stress can't cause a little discomfort in your neck? Stress kills, get with the news buddy! Time for you to grow the fuck up before you kill yourself like those other kids. Mac Miller died, I buried a friend last year too because of drugs. He had just got back out of prison, and I am not the only one with these kinds of stories here on Meso. Do you know why? Because that's what we are like, we are like the people we surround ourselves with.
Stop listening to that rap music too! That shit is garbage for your mind and values, no wonder you are mad listening to that BS all the time. And you can bet your ass on that you are on Benzos because of the rap songs. Big Fuckma did a great job on that one, advertise to kids through rap(L3an, Xan ax,Add erall, Perc0cets, N0rco) fucking cunts.
Switch to listening to a different language rap music if you like the beat so much, that way you don't understand them.
Btw, why do you think so many black rappers are switching their style and not rapping about "bitches and drugs?" Do you think they are realizing what it is doing to young adults?
I was in a residential home for skipping school when I was in high school one kid was manic bipolar and would shit from happy to crying in the snap of a finger and had to be pulled out of the room. He killed himself when I was there. Certain medications definitely have proper application one of those I believe whole heartedly are not applicable in 99 percent of settings are SSRIS SNRIS AND MAOIS
