In The Struggle

[laclark89]

The black one is about 22 pounds and the grey one is about 15 - big ass cats for sure!

Y’all are doing God’s work. My wife always wanted Maine Coons after growing up with a ton of different rescued animals, so we decided to give it

Damn that is huge what are u pinning them with gh and decca lol. My biggest cat is like 10 pounds Mabe 11 max?

I have always been a dog person untill the last few years me and my wife decided to adopt a cat, give the kids something to do plus wanted to have the little extra freedom you have with a cat being they are alot
More independent.

It does feel good to try and do gods work, but also honestly the shelter we go to, u pay $50 to adopt a animal and they spay or neuter them and give them all the shots they will need for the first year, that could easily rack up to around $500
I
My 2, a calico and a tuxie, who could feel down with 2 precious animals clinging to them all day like that. I had sent those pics to my wife to make her jealous lol.

 

[laclark89]

3 horses 1 tom cat..
The horses are my mother's and they like me only because I feed them.... and give out apples once a week or so.
Tom cat is my step-dads but he comes and hangs out on my porch some... we're cool with each other I guess.
Well there is also an armadillo that has forced himself into my life. But I dont have the time to explain that!

lol that’s cool though u got some company, me and the fam do a bit of hiking a place we regular has a lot of horses and my kids like to bring apples or carrots and feed them.
I love horses I haven’t rode 1 in years.

Armadillo u have to be in Texas lol.
I’m a ca city boy I remember going back to east Texas to visit fam my uncle has like 300 acre and they were pressuring me to ride a smaller young bull, I Toldem if I get on that thing I’ll break its back i was in 8th or 9th grade but grown man size and they still laughed in my face and said if I broke its back he would shoot it the head and we could go butcher it up that night.

Long story short it threw me threw a wood gate or fence and broke my ribs, messed my whole trip up lol.

 

[Dirthand]

Arkansas.... thing with the armadillo is when I get up i. The middle of the night to go pee I just go outside.. mainly because I wasn't able to go outside when I wanted to for so long.. winter is coming so it will be over with before long.. I live in the sticks. . So there i was taking a leak half asleep and this fucking armadillo speaks right up in between my legs and scares the shit outta me.. I pissed all over him and me.. I often hear him rooting around the yard eating bugs when I'm outside in the middle of the night.. I kinda talk to him while I piss and then go back inside.. although he has never spoken to me.. I feel like we have a common understanding..lol

 

[Dirthand]

I havent posted here in a minute.. @Hayes88 2 weeks from today!! Hows the Lady.. Holding that shit down I imagine.. Tell her Dirts been thinking about her and you as well (respectfully) It would be great to get good news right before the holidays! Listen this buildabro thing kinda has me a little conflicted.. Who am i or anyone to say to someone that they are not being themselves.. I would like to think that dude was somewhat being sincere with us about the person he was trying to be.. I promise all of you fuckers The person that i am ... and the person that i am trying to be is not always the same person. I dont want to be judged harshly for past and present failures so i will not do so to others. I challage B-Bro to come back to the forum and just himself.. own what needs to be owned and be you... Cant nobody take you from you. Trust me they tried, there was a time during my stint that i didnt see the light of day or catch a breath of fresh air for 6 months.. Stronger for it... I didnt break, i wont break, chin up, chest out walking tall.. lets fucking get it!!!
Peace
-D-

 

[nightprowler7]

What's up people?? Just a little warning this may not be in perfect paragraph form..

I like to see people in their struggle. Not because I like to see people have hardships or go through things. Its because you get to see what someone is made of in the struggle, Who they are, you get to see their heart. Do they lay their getting kicked waiting for rescue, or do they come up swinging and fight for their life. Everybody goes through shit. Here lately i have been struggling with some of life's shit. ( just as everyone does)

I use the Meso forum as an outlet and inlet. Here lately in the struggle i have been looking to my Meso community for some inspiration, unfortunately most of what i have found has not been too inspiring.. I am guilty of contributions of the chaos at times for sure. ( my apologies Fam)

So I guess the idea of the thread is that i will share a little of my struggle and what i am going to do about it. Hopefully this will spark some positive feedback and interaction to where other people feel comfortable sharing their there struggle and what they are doing about. The struggles that we overcome could very well inspire somebody at the just right time and be the difference of them laying there getting kicked to death or having the courage to fight.

Make no mistake Dirt's coming up like a biting dog, i will not lay their and get kick. I first thing i will do when i get on my feet is turn around and help the people up that I've knocked down on my way up. You know the ones that was kicking me, and forgive them. weather that be people, circumstances, Principals, SELF. You cant spread positivity with negativity in your heart. @Ghoul I've resented you for some things please forgive me.

My struggle has been isolation, i deal with some institutionalization. Its just easy not to deal with people.. I ventured out on that, and it didn't turn out well. Life started to not make sense. My feelings and emotions overwhelmed me because i just simply haven't had to deal with that kind of shit in years.. I have found that when things don't makes sense you find the one thing that does and focus on that until things start to fit elsewhere. The one thing in my life that has made sense the last couple years is my physical fitness journey. It has taught me a lot about discipline, self control, structure and allowed me to see just what i am made of. i had broke from that a little so I took back up with @type11x as my coach to help me get my focus back on the things that make sense to me. i appreciate the Deuce for taking me back!!

Folks you may just laugh at this.. and that's ok.. if its not you thing keep it pushin. However Fuckers, I want to be inspired an in return i want to be a positive and supporting influence in other peoples lives and help them be their best. Weight training, weight loss, fitness, all of this is a good healthy outlet to get your focus on track. Nobody can tell you your struggle is wrong or right... its yours, dont let anyone take that from you.

List of core values
Affirmation
Restoration
Community
Accountability
Responsibility

Come on fuckers lets lift each other up.
Peace
-D-

Dirt, you’re genuinely a good person with a good heart. You have a tremendous amount of self awareness. They don’t make them like you anymore, Now everyone is a perpetual victim always blaming everyone else for their actions.

 

[Hayes88]

I havent posted here in a minute.. @Hayes88 2 weeks from today!! Hows the Lady.. Holding that shit down I imagine.. Tell her Dirts been thinking about her and you as well (respectfully) It would be great to get good news right before the holidays! Listen this buildabro thing kinda has me a little conflicted.. Who am i or anyone to say to someone that they are not being themselves.. I would like to think that dude was somewhat being sincere with us about the person he was trying to be.. I promise all of you fuckers The person that i am ... and the person that i am trying to be is not always the same person. I dont want to be judged harshly for past and present failures so i will not do so to others. I challage B-Bro to come back to the forum and just himself.. own what needs to be owned and be you... Cant nobody take you from you. Trust me they tried, there was a time during my stint that i didnt see the light of day or catch a breath of fresh air for 6 months.. Stronger for it... I didnt break, i wont break, chin up, chest out walking tall.. lets fucking get it!!!
Peace
-D-

Same here brother! Been away from the net somewhat and I'm currently in the US, Orlando to travel with my mom who just turned 60. Cruise, swamp and Disney. Heading back home Thursday, 29 hours flight ugh... But looking forward to see my girl and get some answers, nervous is an understatement. Though your words gives me hope and I sincerely appreciate you checking in on us, so does she. I am allowed one call of 15mins a month and letters take a week before approval, so we'll have a lot to share when we meet I bet. Any holidays planned on your side bro? Appreciate you D!

 

[Dirthand]

Dirt, you’re genuinely a good person with a good heart. You have a tremendous amount of self awareness

I appreciate the kind words NP. You know personal details about my life that most on here do not so means a lot for you to say that.. I genuinely believe that about myself as well.. haven't always been able to say that! Hope the new Job is going well and the ice fishing is good this year!!
peace
D

Any holidays planned on your side bro?

Brother i have a pretty big family on both sides.. I am basically the only black sheep in a family of white ones on both sides!! lol It somehow has always seemed like i am one of the brightest lights in the room. I have amazing family, out of all the trouble ive been in my life i cant think of one that hasnt rode with me through the best and the worst!! I love the holidays!!


I havent wrote here in a minute cause I just havent felt like i have had a whole lot to say. This morning a song "SHE" by Jelly Roll came on my playlist.. Made me think about my friend Caroline that fell victim to fentanyl about this time last year. there has been so many in my life die cause of drug use.
I talk about the "The Struggle" but reality is my struggle these days are not shit compared to what they once was., or what some people out there are going through. I can remember a time in my life where i sat on a creek bank just rock bottom with a pistol in my lap, I didnt want to live... but couldn't find the guts to fucking die.. I decided to pick myself up and go a little further. Some people are not afforded the chance to rethink or restructured, have second, third, forth, fifth, chances and im so grateful for the life i have today even so its kind of slow and boring..
I guess the whole point is if you know someone struggling today get outside yourself and reach out a hand to them, it coiuld be their last opportunity.

RIP Caroline

Peace
-D-

 

[Trenbolonetax]

I appreciate the kind words NP. You know personal details about my life that most on here do not so means a lot for you to say that.. I genuinely believe that about myself as well.. haven't always been able to say that! Hope the new Job is going well and the ice fishing is good this year!!
peace
D

Brother i have a pretty big family on both sides.. I am basically the only black sheep in a family of white ones on both sides!! lol It somehow has always seemed like i am one of the brightest lights in the room. I have amazing family, out of all the trouble ive been in my life i cant think of one that hasnt rode with me through the best and the worst!! I love the holidays!!


I havent wrote here in a minute cause I just havent felt like i have had a whole lot to say. This morning a song "SHE" by Jelly Roll came on my playlist.. Made me think about my friend Caroline that fell victim to fentanyl about this time last year. there has been so many in my life die cause of drug use.
I talk about the "The Struggle" but reality is my struggle these days are not shit compared to what they once was., or what some people out there are going through. I can remember a time in my life where i sat on a creek bank just rock bottom with a pistol in my lap, I didnt want to live... but couldn't find the guts to fucking die.. I decided to pick myself up and go a little further. Some people are not afforded the chance to rethink or restructured, have second, third, forth, fifth, chances and im so grateful for the life i have today even so its kind of slow and boring..
I guess the whole point is if you know someone struggling today get outside yourself and reach out a hand to them, it coiuld be their last opportunity.

RIP Caroline

Peace
-D-

Your words are inspirational, D.

Appreciate you keeping it real and sharing your experiences with us. I am glad you are doing so well, and have such a supportive family on both sides.

Fentanyl is the devil. RIP Caroline.

Sometimes a "slow and boring" life is exactly what we / someone needs. I used to think "boredom" was what drove me to make poor and impulsive choices. No longer believe that to be the case.

Happy Friday, brother!

 

[Hayes88]

Well darkness seems to wanna stay. My girl got 18 years in prison due to a corrupt judge. He sentenced everyone based on how "he felt" and what "he blieved", no proof. Even her mom was sentenced to 18 years just for living in the same house, because they are likely criminals both. He destroyed 33 innocent lives today excl family expecting release today. All thought they were walking, all got life ruined. Appeals here are as corrupt, but will try. One in 6 months and one in 2 years.

I was way to close jumping over desks and beat that old geezer unrecognizable, but that would get me shot. Back on cycle, feel the rage, and try make something productive with it.

Will take a long time to repair mentally and emotionally after these last 2 years.

 

[egruberman]

Fentanyl is the devil.

Traveling presently and visited a friend just today that I haven’t seen in a couple years. He’d had an injury and a rough recovery, cause was unknown and I didn’t want to ask about it until I was face to face.

Turns out he got into the fent, OD’d, collapsed, damaged his arm so much he nearly lost it.

What the actual fuck.

Anyway, he’s good now but fuck.

 

[laclark89]

I’m gana be the a hole for a min like always.

I hate this boo who shit pitty me honestly no one gives 2 shits but urself. We all have problems. Figure it out Deal with it or die. I know im still stuck on that man shit, and have more problems than most but Lots of people going through more or have more problems than you or me.

If ur that sad google suicidal hotlines.
I recommend this track off you tube. Good luck and god bless.

 

[Dirthand]

try make something productive with it.

Thats a tough break and hard pill to swallow. I wished with all i had i could tell its gonna work out and things will be ok..Truth is it may not be, and your are going to have to find some way to deal with all this to allow yourself peace at sometime. ALWAYS keep that sliver of hope, if the appeals process is corrupt... use it to your advantage. you got 6 months to figure it out. You can use all your negative as a positive drive, you gotta keep it together. You cant let those mother fuckers win, They cant break you. Dont do anything stupid. In my thoughts and prayers,
Peace
D

 

[Dirthand]

Traveling presently and visited a friend just today that I haven’t seen in a couple years. He’d had an injury and a rough recovery, cause was unknown and I didn’t want to ask about it until I was face to face.

Turns out he got into the fent, OD’d, collapsed, damaged his arm so much he nearly lost it.

What the actual fuck.

Anyway, he’s good now but fuck.

Man, it is a nasty drug.. One of several of my friends that was on opioids was on the run from the laws.. The last time i talk to her i tried to convince her to turn herself in, do her time and dry out. I told her it could possibly save her life .She could have changed her life... thats what prison did for me.. Of course she decline and was dead within a month . Truth is your friend needs you, the statistics of an opioid addict getting straight and staying straight is not good AT ALL. what the problem is they may clean up for a time and then relapse , then with their drug tolorance level not what is was on their last run sometime that first big blast on the relaspe is what will get em... Thanks for sharing dawg. dont give up on your buddy
Peace
D

 

[Dirthand]

@narta as I was driving to work this morning beating my fist on my chest screaming at myself to hold the line( due to loss of sanity years ago... i do this kinda shit) this song reminded me about something you share in this thread one time.. might nit be your thing but.... either way!!!
Peace
-D-

View: https://music.apple.com/us/album/lonely-dirt-road/1776929806?i=1776930207&ls

 

[narta]

@narta as I was driving to work this morning beating my fist on my chest screaming at myself to hold the line( due to loss of sanity years ago... i do this kinda shit) this song reminded me about something you share in this thread one time.. might nit be your thing but.... either way!!!
Peace
-D-

View: https://music.apple.com/us/album/lonely-dirt-road/1776929806?i=1776930207&ls

But as a man, the only flowers that you get are
When you're six-feet under on the day you die

That hit too fucking hard.

Truth always does, I guess.