In The Struggle

[TA13579]

Hang in there. . Don't you fucking give up!!
D

I am sorry to hear that brother. Good news is you’re not alone in The Struggle. None of us are. I’m doing a bit of reinventing myself, right now. Thanks for sharing a bit about your story.

Thank you both for the kind words. Everyday is a struggle for me right now. Wife and I are separated as well. The car crash and the job loss caused a lot of conflict within our marriage and so she needed to go "find herself" for awhile.

@Trenbolonetax I went straight into starting a new business. Literally didn't know what else do to because the job market in IT is just straight garbage.

I know our founder personally, which is how I got the job as an intern initially way back then, so I would say I am safe. I am also high enough up in the pecking order these days that I can't see leaving voluntarily anytime soon either. Things are just different now for me as far as life goes. Kids in school, a mortgage, you know the drill. I can't go run off to work for some startup like many tech bros might do.

Keep your head up though brother. All you can do is to put yourself in the best possible position to make bold life moves. Take care of what you have power to take care of and leave the intangibles and what ifs right where they are. This means taking care of you. Self love. Mind and body! And you are in the perfect place for it.

Thank you brother. Sounds like you are in a great spot. Startups are usually not worth it unless you get in with good stock options/ownership.

Joining meso here has been good for me. I'm now back in the gym 2-3 hours a day as it's the only thing in my life that I have any damn control over.

I threw away all my alcohol bottles a few days ago, so I guess that's a good sign.

 

[BuildABro]

There is redemption in the iron my friend. Not sure how or why, but it's there. Or at least it was for me. And as you keep going and gain more trigger time its a cascading effect of positive emotions that follows. Confidence, power and ultimately self discipline/self awareness starts to creep up into your psyche. It might well grab ahold of you and never let go just like it has for many of us here. It becomes more than a way of life, it becomes a part of who you are.

Glad you are back in the gym bro. All you gotta do now is keep showing up and sooner or later the snake will bite.

Thank you both for the kind words. Everyday is a struggle for me right now. Wife and I are separated as well. The car crash and the job loss caused a lot of conflict within our marriage and so she needed to go "find herself" for awhile.

@Trenbolonetax I went straight into starting a new business. Literally didn't know what else do to because the job market in IT is just straight garbage.




Thank you brother. Sounds like you are in a great spot. Startups are usually not worth it unless you get in with good stock options/ownership.

Joining meso here has been good for me. I'm now back in the gym 2-3 hours a day as it's the only thing in my life that I have any damn control over.

I threw away all my alcohol bottles a few days ago, so I guess that's a good sign.

 

[Dirthand]

I'm now back in the gym 2-3 hours a day as it's the only thing in my life that I have any damn control over.

When nothing is making sense...... find one thing that does and focus on that until things start to fall in line. Don't just run to it. Run through it! Peace
D

 

[RandallFlagg]

Thank you both for the kind words. Everyday is a struggle for me right now. Wife and I are separated as well. The car crash and the job loss caused a lot of conflict within our marriage and so she needed to go "find herself" for awhile.

@Trenbolonetax I went straight into starting a new business. Literally didn't know what else do to because the job market in IT is just straight garbage.




Thank you brother. Sounds like you are in a great spot. Startups are usually not worth it unless you get in with good stock options/ownership.

Joining meso here has been good for me. I'm now back in the gym 2-3 hours a day as it's the only thing in my life that I have any damn control over.

I threw away all my alcohol bottles a few days ago, so I guess that's a good sign.

I know that hopeless feeling (though not claiming to be suffering the same hardships as you).

Toxic marriage for 11 years, 4 kids I felt like I forced into being born into the mess. I became temporarily disabled in 2022...spent a year at home with my wife telling me what a worthless piece of shit I was because I wasn't at work (despite needing multiple surgeries and still bringing in an income from disability insurance).

I would have sworn I would be well on my way to divorce by now...met with a lawyer in early 2023 and figured I would continue down that route.

I started counseling towards the end of 2022. The most important things I learned were 1.) we're fucked up by things that we go through in childhood. 2.) we're generally resilient enough to get through it if we can figure out what that "thing" is...and 3.) you can only control what you can control.

For me, controlling my actions and emotions became the mission (when I finally realized no one else can actually MAKE me feel sad, angry, happy or anything else in between). It's empowering to realize you don't actually HAVE to be scared/afraid/sad...(Or whatever other emotion is trying to be evoked by a toxic person)

It's 2024. I'm back at work. I'm still married. My kids are all learning the same skills I'm learning in counseling vicariously through me when learning to respond to a toxic situation. Life is far from perfect but I feel lucky and fortunate every day.

Every one of my struggles has lead me to a better place (and to a stronger place). I would never be motivated to move onward and upward without the struggles. Why on earth would we be motivated to change (and hopefully improve) if everything was cruising along great all the time? Discomfort creates a nexus for change.

For me, learning to make DYS-functional life situations FUNCTIONAL has become the goal.

Control what you can control...the rest has a way of taking care of itself...one day at a time.

 

[narta]

As the saying goes... It is what it is.

Actually the ONLY thing we can control is the emotional response we have in the things life throws at us. Sure our actions cause things to happen, but come to think of it, our emotions dictate our actions most of the time. If one can cool his head and calculate and not feel, the outcome usually is the best case scenario.

 

[Ateam2023]

As the saying goes... It is what it is.

Actually the ONLY thing we can control is the emotional response we have in the things life throws at us. Sure our actions cause things to happen, but come to think of it, our emotions dictate our actions most of the time. If one can cool his head and calculate and not feel, the outcome usually is the best case scenario.

Its the "not feel" people can't seem to get, its hard for people to shut off there feelings, but Goddamn this world would be a better place,,, imHo

 

[Dirthand]

As the saying goes... It is what it is

Ain't that the truth brother!! Some things are unchangeable.... Acceptance is the key to going forward..
The only failures are the ones that quit trying.. Me, I got heart... I won't fucking quit.. New week new struggles. Shout out the Homeboys/Homegirls that don't give the fuck up!!! Keep it pushing!
Peace
-D-

 

[TA13579]

I'm not going to quit either. Despite being depressed most days, I still drag myself to the gym and cook my meals. Have stayed away from the bottle. Reading Meso for a few hours a day lately has been very therapeutic and educational... One day at a time

 

[Trenbolonetax]

I'm not going to quit either. Despite being depressed most days, I still drag myself to the gym and cook my meals. Have stayed away from the bottle. Reading Meso for a few hours a day lately has been very therapeutic and educational... One day at a time

You nailed it…one day at a time. You know the wonderful thing about dragging yourself to the gym and cooking healthy meals? Eventually, you’ll become less depressed. Or you won’t notice it as much. But point is, you will feel better.

Kudos to staying away from the bottle. You’ve already found out what’s at the bottom each time - ain’t nothing new at the bottom of the next one. Just the same old shit.

 

[BuildABro]

One gym session, one set, or even one rep at a time. Keep things as manageable as they need to be to keep pushing forward.

None of us here woke up one morning and reinvented our lives in an instant and every facet of our repertoire just materialized spontaneously. It develops over time at a pace unique to each of us. It will for you too bro, provided you keep showing up and putting one foot in front of the other.

But what awaits you on the other side is so worth it! So keep on banging it out bro. Good times ahead!

I'm not going to quit either. Despite being depressed most days, I still drag myself to the gym and cook my meals. Have stayed away from the bottle. Reading Meso for a few hours a day lately has been very therapeutic and educational... One day at a time