diary of a young bodybuilder (20 years old)

[MixModz]

This guy is a mess. The chances of him being a normal integrated functional part of society are very low, imo. I presume english isn't his first language, but still, he is presenting him self with low intelligence and high emotional dysregulation and I can't imagine him holding down a normal job, not at least one that requires semi frequent human interaction. In other words, looks like a nut case who is not far from being committed, especially with all the drugs involved making him even more unstable with time ...

I have ADHD my friend, and you have a low intelligence because you think that I’m unstable. For what?

Oh yeah I take risk that you don’t, the reason of that ? Because you’re a beta male looser.
And no, I don’t want to work for a shitty amount of money like starbuck or mcdonalds, lmao
I work in pharmaciest dumbass.

And guess what ? everything is great with the interaction I have with them ahah

I’m pretty sur, that you’re just a natty piece of shit who is afraid of the injection imo

Honestly stay away from my thread poor guys. You want to be normal, great but that’s not my goal lmao
Everything you did in your life, is critisize the life or act of other.

 

[MixModz]

I am in my mid 30s. I know when I was in my 20s, I felt invincible. probably how I hurt my back.


But I always knew to not run gear until 25.

Personal experience starting this.
I feel like this is an expensive hobby. not just the gear but the food, clothes(sizing up), blood work, etc.


I couldnt imagine having this disposable income in college. Especially to generate so much growth.

If mom and dad were paying for everything it would be easy.


I probably use more meat than the average user here and that is what is costing me too

No I paid everything without any help

 

[MixModz]

I’m not here to judge you but I will say this in hopes that it registers with you. I understand you have accepted the risk involved in this lifestyle. However, have you considered that your desires may change as you age? Mine did. Now I’m glad I didn’t blast my brains away with gears at the expense of my health just to achieve a physique that no longer interests me. And don’t think your desires won’t change over time. That’s foolish.

Some of the damage you are doing to yourself is going to be permanent more than likely. Sure would suck to have to deal with all that at age 45 when you’re no longer even into bodybuilding. And if you’re thinking that you don’t care about what life is like when you’re 45… you will. I promise.

I think you should come off everything and reset your body and more importantly, your mind. I think some of the decisions you are making recently are evidence of someone not completely mentally stable. And that’s not an insult as many, including myself, have been there before. But the crazy hormone blasting has clearly affected your brain. Even if you don’t see it. Take some advice from those who are trying to help you. Nobody wants to see you permanently damage yourself over something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

I want to overcompeted everybody, and that’s why I will never be completely off, pretty useless, I tried it but I didn’t see anything positive, feeling tired asf.

But I Work a lot so I can’t stay at home and sleep all day, my mind is great feeling strong, stoic no emotion,

I have reduced the dosage and I still have a great progress.

And no bodybuilding is essential, without it wirh adhd, i feeled depressed

Every fucking normal activities is boring for me, read a book, family dinner, watch tv, netflix. I need action and that’s why I loved bodybuilding.
And i have bodydysmophia I can’t look like a normal guys, no wayyy.

 

[Rido]

I want to overcompeted everybody, and that’s why I will never be completely off, pretty useless, I tried it but I didn’t see anything positive, feeling tired asf.

But I Work a lot so I can’t stay at home and sleep all day, my mind is great feeling strong, stoic no emotion,

I have reduced the dosage and I still have a great progress.

And no bodybuilding is essential, without it wirh adhd, i feeled depressed

Every fucking normal activities is boring for me, read a book, family dinner, watch tv, netflix. I need action and that’s why I loved bodybuilding.
And i have bodydysmophia I can’t look like a normal guys, no wayyy.

Saying you cant look like a normal guy is not body dysmorphia.

Body dysmorphia is where you feel like you are fat, skinny, or muscular and you feel that you are something else

 

[MixModz]

Saying you cant look like a normal guy is not body dysmorphia.

Body dysmorphia is where you feel like you are fat, skinny, or muscular and you feel that you are something else

I’m still not muscular enough and feel like I look skinny

 

[MixModz]

Saying you cant look like a normal guy is not body dysmorphia.

Body dysmorphia is where you feel like you are fat, skinny, or muscular and you feel that you are something else

I’m still not muscular enough and feel like I look skinny

 

[malfeasance]

Well, you don't look skinny. Building muscle takes time. Be a little more patient. You said that you reduced the dosages but you are still making great progress, so give that progress some time and keep growing.

And look after your health at the same time.

 

[MixModz]

Well, you don't look skinny. Building muscle takes time. Be a little more patient. You said that you reduced the dosages but you are still making great progress, so give that progress some time and keep growing.

And look after your health at the same time.

Yeah too much isn’t the best thing to do.

 

[narta]

I want to look like dallas mccarver

Thew only thing that you will look like if you continue like that is Dallas McCadaver

Stop.Doing.Dumb.Shit.

 

[Jin23]

I have ADHD my friend

Steroids worsen ADHD. You might "feel" better, but you definitely aren't performing better in your executive functions and emotional regulation. They also change dopamine system for the worst in the long run, which will make you even more ADHD. You wont really see this until you're a bit older and have more self regulation and self monitoring abilities. But by that time you'll be too fucked up to notice anything really, your world will be one big ball of confusion, much more so then it is now. Fellow ADHD'er here btw, ADHD-PI.

While you may be doing stupid irreversible damage to your periphery, your brain is going to suffer a lot too. Unfortunately, ADHD brains are much less robust then neurotypical brains and just simply can't take all the abuse you're throwing at them. It's one thing having a clear functional head with a broken body, but completely something else to having a broken mind. A heart attack that leads to instant death (not leaving half of your body or brain paralyzed - which is a very probable scenario) is imo nothing compared to being in a state of confused brain fog coupled with anxiety and total emotional dysregulation. You'll regret what you're doing, don't disregard all of our opinions, we are not just some dumb idiot's on the other side of the computer screen talking nonsense. If it was just a simple heart attack and puff you're gone, ok maybe, but all the other chit, no thank you, I'll pass.

 

[MixModz]

Steroids worsen ADHD. You might "feel" better, but you definitely aren't performing better in your executive functions and emotional regulation. They also change dopamine system for the worst in the long run, which will make you even more ADHD. You wont really see this until you're a bit older and have more self regulation and self monitoring abilities. But by that time you'll be too fucked up to notice anything really, your world will be one big ball of confusion, much more so then it is now. Fellow ADHD'er here btw, ADHD-PI.

While you may be doing stupid irreversible damage to your periphery, your brain is going to suffer a lot too. Unfortunately, ADHD brains are much less robust then neurotypical brains and just simply can't take all the abuse you're throwing at them. It's one thing having a clear functional head with a broken body, but completely something else to having a broken mind. A heart attack that leads to instant death (not leaving half of your body or brain paralyzed - which is a very probable scenario) is imo nothing compared to being in a state of confused brain fog coupled with anxiety and total emotional dysregulation. You'll regret what you're doing, don't disregard all of our opinions, we are not just some dumb idiot's on the other side of the computer screen talking nonsense. If it was just a simple heart attack and puff you're gone, ok maybe, but all the other chit, no thank you, I'll pass.

No, i’m now at 110 kg
1,76m.

 

[Rido]

Yeah too much isn’t the best thing to do.

then maybe you should bring your test down to 180 solo for 4 months

 

[MixModz]

then maybe you should bring your test down to 180 solo for 4 months

Why I should doing that, I want to grow more and even if I reacted pretty good to steroids it takes some amount of PEDs

 

[Rido]

Why I should doing that, I want to grow more and even if I reacted pretty good to steroids it takes some amount of PEDs

You just said this

Yeah too much isn’t the best thing to do.

 

[MixModz]

You just said this

Because i running in the past 3-4g of PEDS and now with only 1,4g I reached 110kg

But no 180 test I can’t even maintain my physique

 

[narta]

then maybe you should bring your test down to 180 solo for 4 months

You are talking to a brick wall. Giving attention to attention whores just enables them to continue.

Let the kid do his act, get hurt and regret it and then reap the outcomes of his dumbfuckiness.

There are enough young dead PEDs abusers in the past couple of years that outta be a lesson to the younger guys not to abuse shit. If they don't listen, so be it Darwin's theory do call for the survival of the fittest.

 

[MixModz]

You are talking to a brick wall. Giving attention to attention whores just enables them to continue.

Let the kid do his act, get hurt and regret it and then reap the outcomes of his dumbfuckiness.

There are enough young dead PEDs abusers in the past couple of years that outta be a lesson to the younger guys not to abuse shit. If they don't listen, so be it Darwin's theory do call for the survival of the fittest.

Shut the fucked up thx, I’m tired of this bullshit

 

[narta]

Shut the fucked up thx, I’m tired of this bullshit

And we are tired seeing young guys giving the game a bad name cause their 2 brain cells can communicate with each another. Idgaf if you get hurt, but do it with something that doesn't put the blame on the community dumbass

 

[MixModz]

And we are tired seeing young guys giving the game a bad name cause their 2 brain cells can communicate with each another. Idgaf if you get hurt, but do it with something that doesn't put the blame on the community dumbass

Then leave my thread dumbass if you don’t like my personnality
I don’t give a fuck of what people thinks about me

 

[narta]

I don’t give a fuck of what people thinks about me

But you do....

Anyways.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, vaya con Dios fucktard!