@brutus79 can you have 1 beer, toke, pill, etc..??
I get it y'all don't suffer the disease of addiction so it's easy to read something out of a book or off the web. If I touch anything that alters my mind then I just woke the beast up and he don't like to be woke up. It's truly Dr.jekl and Mr.Hyde. A switch gets flipped that can't be unflipped until I've had enough misery
Odie I think you're a good dude which is why I respond accordingly to you but please don't make the assumption that I've never battled addiction. I have used and abused almost every drug you can name except crack and heroin and just bc I wish not to talk about it publicly doesn't mean I haven't faced the same demons you do. Yes I've read up a lot on addiction and much of what I've learned about it academically is from my readings but I've walked the walk so to speak and my comments are a blend of experience and reading.
Your demon is worse than mine. You cannot touch anything without resorting to past behaviors. I, whether fortunate or unfortunate, can and have learned the signs to know when I'm going down that beaten path again and what needs to be done to avoid it.
The "legal" weed you're talking about, if it's what I think it is, is nothing like actual cannabis. With all my problems I still use cannabis regularly to help with other issues. Can it be an issue for some? You damn right it can be. But not for everyone or even most.
I totally understand why you said what you said. You feel it undermines the efforts you've put into your own recovery. You feel as if this type of behavior can put you right back to square one. You've faced a demon that will never completely leave you and to see someone talk about weed so freely and shit bothers you. I get it. But please understand that not everyone faces your same demon. Theirs maybe something similar but not the same so each case must be dealt with individually IMO.
I guess part of the issue and reason I responded was bc we have an entire thread dedicated to addiction and many other threads touch on it and people freely gloat/reminisce about what they've done in the past but no one says anything in those threads. I guess I felt this guy was unfairly singled out. Also, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we are all not sober bc we abuse AAS and we know AAS can affect our mentality and psyche. For proof, just think back to your posts on fina and how it made you more aggressive.
Bottom line is I meant you no disrespect just pointing out what stuck out at me. I respect you for batikg your demon and doing what's necessary to stay away from your triggers. If I'm being honest, I do and still have slip ups so where your battle is basically flat lined in that you avoid things completely (note I'm not saying your battle is done) mine has flare ups. Again, respect for doing what you do. Keep it up and stay clean.
