Meso drug addicts

[Whoremoans]

I hear ya man, that's why I only take them if I need them or its a busy ass night at work and there available it seems to make me do better.
I still try to go without, my ex her cuz got hooked and did a cold Turkey ended up having a seizure..

Well no shit they make you do better Sherlock they make everything better. Right up until they don't. Before you know it that "better" is going to become normal and functioning without is going to seem impossible. Do you not realize every opiate addict here started just like this? "I only take them when" "they just help me" "I won't get hooked". Listen to what I'm telling you and believe it. If you don't quit taking the shit you will become dependent. I started the same way for similar reasons. I'm trying to help you.

 

[searchanddestroy]

Nice way to turn your life around bro stay strong.

I can't remember which of these threads I've posted in, but I'm coming up on four years sober from opiates/heroin here soon.

Got hooked on Oxys, Methadone Fentanyl suckers back in the early to mid 2000's. Had some crazy hook ups at the time and me being the extremist I am when it comes to that stuff I took it way too far. Overdosed a few times. Once passed out on my back and threw up into my lungs. Got airlifted to a city hospital and spent a few days in a coma. Ended up losing my hook up on being prescribed Methadone, Xanax, Adderall and Vics and came off all that cold turkey for awhile. Ended up in the ER and finally couldn't take it and went to a Methadone Clinic. Did that four about two years, switched to Suboxone and actually came off successfully only to try IV Oxy a couple months later.

Of course that turned into IV everything including meth, other pain pills, coke and H. Add in liberal amounts of benzos and I was going to jail constantly for dumb shit like shoplifting and firing a weapon at shadow people. Picked up hep c at some point, too. Finally ended up getting four years at 50% after spending well over a year in and out total in county jail and rehab.

Lost a lot of people close to me while I was away. My grandma died six days after I got to county jail. I'd put off visiting her in the hospital because I'd been up like a week. Lost my grandpa a few months before I got home. My dad died of lung cancer a few months after I got home and I did at least get to spend some time with him during house arrest. Worst part is he died having really never seen me as anything other than a deadbeat drug addict besides that short time on house arrest and that's huge motivation for me to stay clean and finally live a life he would be proud of even though he's not here to see it. I actually had a guy come to my house and put Oxys in my hand right after my dad died and I didn't take them.

For once being broke and unemployed paid off right when I got out of prison because I was able to qualify got patient assistance and got my hep c cured. Now I've got a steady job, got engaged recently, life is good and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't smoke or drink. Powerlifting is my addiction. All that emptiness that substances used to go into is now my drive to be relentless in my pursuit of strength gains. Lifting has been a huge part of my recovery.

 

[Nutpuncher]

I hear ya man, that's why I only take them if I need them or its a busy ass night at work and there available it seems to make me do better.
I still try to go without, my ex her cuz got hooked and did a cold Turkey ended up having a seizure..

All addicts famous words "I only take them when needed"

 

[searchanddestroy]

I hear ya man honestly its been a while since I had any probably a year easy.. we got this new manager from another store so he buys them all from the crew, goes to the restroom or his car and snorts the shit fuck that I'm not ending up like that. I'm clean bro plus my ass never liked them made it feel like I was shitting razor blades and seeing blood in my stool yea that's enough to keep me clean.

Well no shit they make you do better Sherlock they make everything better. Right up until they don't. Before you know it that "better" is going to become normal and functioning without is going to seem impossible. Do you not realize every opiate addict here started just like this? "I only take them when" "they just help me" "I won't get hooked". Listen to what I'm telling you and believe it. If you don't quit taking the shit you will become dependent. I started the same way for similar reasons. I'm trying to help you.

 

[searchanddestroy]

That's how it starts man or ill just try one like cigarettes been 8 years on for me time to hang that shit up to get my lungs back..

All addicts famous words "I only take them when needed"

 

[Seven]

I hear ya man honestly its been a while since I had any probably a year easy.. we got this new manager from another store so he buys them all from the crew, goes to the restroom or his car and snorts the shit fuck that I'm not ending up like that. I'm clean bro plus my ass never liked them made it feel like I was shitting razor blades and seeing blood in my stool yea that's enough to keep me clean.

Stay the fuck away from that "manager"....he must be full retard, he's gonna fuck up very soon.

 

[TheQuest]

Fuck i love drugs. Did my first xtc when i was 16 and still doing it now after 20 years. A huge difference enjoy your self or to be a junky.

 

[Juced]

Im all for cannbis use. prevent and cure cancer and soomany things... but if smoking weed has you smoking crack or doing H a week or months later... the issue is in thought patterns you have bult up, not the cannabis and you should avoid even cannabis... could be gambling, sex, MJ, and soomany other things to fill that void of a rush or buzz/distraction...

I have known many addicts, some died, some where family... yet i cant fully grasp how someone can go from going sober to just saying F it and going back in.. specially when going from MJ to hard drugs... it blows my mind the excuses I have heard...
its not the MJ, its not even the drug, its the mind... the drug is a side effect of the dysfunctional mind, not the other way around (ofcourse drugs will mess up the mind lso, im not saying it wont, im saying the root of the issue is the mind, not drug)
Iv delt with some VERY close to me that ended up still being at rock bottom and not sure where they are now, but iv also known someone dear that did coke pretty much every day , like 5 out of 7 days a week , just for the hell of it and to numb personal issues (that addressing sober helped), only to stop completely after couple years of non stop use and stay sober. (will still have a couple drinks and smoke MJ weekly to daily) but never use the other stuff or anything else. the urge is still there but the mind over matter is the important part. and knowing what it will do to you and not to start making excuses.
its a messed up road and a tough one.
I may not understand fully how someone can let them selves get to that point (im saying that having tried coke, xtc, mushrooms etc. much more than a couple times during a couple years of bad choices, many years ago) so its not like i dont know the "feel" of the "joy" but life is the value, not the buzz. your paying for a set amount of time to feel a certain way... your paying for a small space in time, while screwing up the actual life over all...
I know its tough and im not bashing, im just stating I DONT personally get how it can get that bad before stopping. but i DO understand many struggle and have lost family from it...
I HATE non spiritual mind numbing drugs with all my heart!
and thanks to the laws its only made it worse in my opinion...
I do think many are good for exploration and reflection in a healthy mind though.

I went on a tangent sorry lol....

not sure if anyone can relate to this but figured id post it up since i found it a little interesting>

 

[Juced]

Stay the fuck away from that "manager"....he must be full retard, he's gonna fuck up very soon.

100%agreed!!
and keep track of all paper work because he will likely try to blame shit on others when he is in the hot seat and really lets it fall apart..
some people are really messed sadly... i had one guy crush up and snort his grandpas blood thinner pills "he called N-bombs" to try to "kick up his E buzz" one night.... i think it was nitroglycerin pills... and same guy crushed up effexor (a SSRI antidepressant ) to try to kick up the buzz too! (on another night)
we got in a fist fight about it a week later because i told a friend tht told a friend that told a friend and when he confronted me i told him straight to face what I said and what I thought and he didnt take it well.. attacks me infront of my home in mid day... he got owned bad though....

there are certain types/levels fo people you need to avoid, SPECIALLY if you have addiction issues, they will pull you in sooner or later, you need to choose your environment, even if that means cutting old friends off, you DO IT...

 

[jaymaximus]

Im all for cannbis use. prevent and cure cancer and soomany things... but if smoking weed has you smoking crack or doing H a week or months later... the issue is in thought patterns you have bult up, not the cannabis and you should avoid even cannabis... could be gambling, sex, MJ, and soomany other things to fill that void of a rush or buzz/distraction...

I have known many addicts, some died, some where family... yet i cant fully grasp how someone can go from going sober to just saying F it and going back in.. specially when going from MJ to hard drugs... it blows my mind the excuses I have heard...
its not the MJ, its not even the drug, its the mind... the drug is a side effect of the dysfunctional mind, not the other way around (ofcourse drugs will mess up the mind lso, im not saying it wont, im saying the root of the issue is the mind, not drug)
Iv delt with some VERY close to me that ended up still being at rock bottom and not sure where they are now, but iv also known someone dear that did coke pretty much every day , like 5 out of 7 days a week , just for the hell of it and to numb personal issues (that addressing sober helped), only to stop completely after couple years of non stop use and stay sober. (will still have a couple drinks and smoke MJ weekly to daily) but never use the other stuff or anything else. the urge is still there but the mind over matter is the important part. and knowing what it will do to you and not to start making excuses.
its a messed up road and a tough one.
I may not understand fully how someone can let them selves get to that point (im saying that having tried coke, xtc, mushrooms etc. much more than a couple times during a couple years of bad choices, many years ago) so its not like i dont know the "feel" of the "joy" but life is the value, not the buzz. your paying for a set amount of time to feel a certain way... your paying for a small space in time, while screwing up the actual life over all...
I know its tough and im not bashing, im just stating I DONT personally get how it can get that bad before stopping. but i DO understand many struggle and have lost family from it...
I HATE non spiritual mind numbing drugs with all my heart!
and thanks to the laws its only made it worse in my opinion...
I do think many are good for exploration and reflection in a healthy mind though.

I went on a tangent sorry lol....

not sure if anyone can relate to this but figured id post it up since i found it a little interesting>

I can agree with a lot you said, but marijuana does not prevent and / or cure cancer!

 

[Seven]

I can agree with a lot you said, but marijuana does not prevent and / or cure cancer!

Are you sure?? I can tell you this...if I would ever get cancer, I would choose marijuana to treat it over anything else.

 

[CdnGuy]

Question for guys with 5 or more yrs sobriety. Do you still ever have dreams of using ?
Edit- it's happened to me a few times last month. Waking up in a pool of sweat

 

[Notits]

Question for guys with 5 or more yrs sobriety. Do you still ever have dreams of using ?

16 years and i occasionally have dreams. I can handle the dreams as long as the obsession has been removed.

 

[jaymaximus]

Question for guys with 5 or more yrs sobriety. Do you still ever have dreams of using ?
Edit- it's happened to me a few times last month. Waking up in a pool of sweat

Right now Im 9 months off alcohol and 8 yearsoff everything else. I used to have those dreams all the time. I would hang around my old friends (in the dream) and theyd pass me something. Then it would always end with me finding out I was getting drug tested.

Its been awhile since Ive had the dreams, but it still happens occasionally

 

[help new to bodybuilding]

2cb is awesome some of the best sex ever

2cb???

 

[help new to bodybuilding]

Congratulations to all you guy's that have found your freedom from active addiction. One day at a time. Life gets so much better.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

Question for guys with 5 or more yrs sobriety. Do you still ever have dreams of using ?
Edit- it's happened to me a few times last month. Waking up in a pool of sweat

Not quite four years now, but yes, I still occasionally have using dreams. Funny thing about most of them is 99% of the dreams I don't actually get high for odd reasons. The syringes break or bend somehow, I'll spill everything, it'll fall out of my pockets, anything you can imagine ends up happening. The few I actually get high I'll panic in the dream and wake up a little shaken for a second. Weird as getting high isn't something I think about anymore, but I guess it's all I thought about for over a decade, so still in there.

 

[Gobuckeyes0122]

Not quite four years now, but yes, I still occasionally have using dreams. Funny thing about most of them is 99% of the dreams I don't actually get high for odd reasons. The syringes break or bend somehow, I'll spill everything, it'll fall out of my pockets, anything you can imagine ends up happening. The few I actually get high I'll panic in the dream and wake up a little shaken for a second. Weird as getting high isn't something I think about anymore, but I guess it's all I thought about for over a decade, so still in there.

It will be 5 years this summer for me clean. I used to have dreams like yours a lot when I first was quitting. I can't remember the last time I dreamed of anything now lol.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

It will be 5 years this summer for me clean. I used to have dreams like yours a lot when I first was quitting. I can't remember the last time I dreamed of anything now lol.

I don't have them often anymore. I guess all those years of addict behavior really stick in the subconscious.

 

[Spooby]

And this is how I know that I've found my people, this is where I belong

I'm in almost the same boat as you @ChuckSipes at least with the valium. Cocaine was an issue too... Doc prescribed me effexor with 50mg of valium a day, I was on for a year, depression got worse, anxiety got worse, started abusing the valium, ended up taking 60 of them, got in my car, turned the stereo up, and stuck a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger, forgot the safety was on, flipped it, pulled it again, "oh, it's empty" it's like the adrenaline hit me so hard mixed with the valium that I went numb and lost my shit after that. Looked back and saw the clip on the floor behind the passenger seat, the only thing that saved me was not being able to reach it. I passed out for several hours. I changed after that. I'm comfortable enough mentally to be able to valium again for sleep as I do actually have anxiety issues, and I use another med for depression which Is actually working. lifting became my new drug and this board became my second home... knowledge makes me less anxious. Finally decided to make a membership last month.