Meso drug addicts

[Whoremoans]

Been on 1 1/2 a day for ten years I guess don't know if I will ever be able to beat this shit.

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You must have started right when they first came out. But yeah at 1 1/2 a day for 10 years I'd say you're on sub for life. Which that's okay, if it allows you to be stable and happy and living a normal life. I have an internal debate with myself whether or not I should just stay on them but I really feel like I need to get completely clean, because I abuse mine by injecting them.

 

[Ripped]

I haven't run them but they have kept me away from other bad habits. yeah I got on them when they just got approved.

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[Throwback]

I feel like I'm gonna finally need to seek help. I lost control today. I also beat the fuck out of a close friend for no apparent reason. I'm all fucked up and feeling like a real piece of shit. My job cannot find out about any of this either. But I almost feel like I need to check myself into rehab. Fuck guess I'm starting from scratch

Hey man...You still around? Doing ok?

 

[desertwarrior]

I am brother. Thanks for checking in. I am actually fairing a lot better. I have only had the one slip, and am living day by day. A lot of my feelings I was having were probably low test from some bunk gear I was cruising on. Back on some respectable gear now and am feeling worlds better. I was very low there for a minute though and you meso bros really helped me.

 

[Throwback]

I am brother. Thanks for checking in. I am actually fairing a lot better. I have only had the one slip, and am living day by day. A lot of my feelings I was having were probably low test from some bunk gear I was cruising on. Back on some respectable gear now and am feeling worlds better. I was very low there for a minute though and you meso bros really helped me.

Just noticed you hadnt been on alot since then and was jus checkin....HAPPY 2017!!!

 

[Hotrods12]

You must have started right when they first came out. But yeah at 1 1/2 a day for 10 years I'd say you're on sub for life. Which that's okay, if it allows you to be stable and happy and living a normal life. I have an internal debate with myself whether or not I should just stay on them but I really feel like I need to get completely clean, because I abuse mine by injecting them.

Hey @Whoremoans I know its hard bro, but I really think you can do this, I seen the pictures in your new thread you started, thats a big change in your body in only 2 years, but thats not what Im getting at, the comment the guy made, and than the words you wrote about addiction being one thing you wont joke about, well what you said will stick in my head the damage I did to people and how it ruined my life, I have my reasons why Ive been clean all these years and I shared them with you all, but I will remember your words on top of mine, read the words you wrote anytime you feel like using and I hope what you said helps change your mind, good luck I really think you want this!!!

 

[Whoremoans]

Currently doing a cycle log, that is also log of my recovery from suboxone. I'm documenting my day to day experience with detoxing and weaning myself off opiates, while also logging my diet, training, and cycle details. You guys should follow along.

Freak Under Construction Cycle Log

 

[PuddlePiratePunk]

Haha what a bump! Alright so some know me and some don't for the given time I've been here, I've been struggling with drinking, haven't pinned anything yet so still natty so it's not like I'm adding to a dead kidney/liver. I have attended AA before(started a thread) and have been dealing with some memories of when I pretty much went full retard. Been hard as shit to cope with. Had, a drug addiction although passed it and been clean since 12DEC2014 and been kicking ass since but alcohols been like part of my diet or something. I haven't been drinking nearly as much as I was, but I did have a "relapse" which was drinking way to much and to the point of having the barrel of a 870 in my mouth then deciding last minute, 7ounce wasn't gonna do the trick, so took a ride on plastic with LE to hospital, I'm doing much better since then but slowly improving. I'm not looking for attention but what is some trick you guys do to forget about your fuck ups and push forward? I've been finding motivation left and right but a lot has send me back to calling my father telling him I love him thinking it was gonna be the last time I talked to him?

 

[Perrin Aybara]

Haha what a bump! Alright so some know me and some don't for the given time I've been here, I've been struggling with drinking, haven't pinned anything yet so still natty so it's not like I'm adding to a dead kidney/liver. I have attended AA before(started a thread) and have been dealing with some memories of when I pretty much went full retard. Been hard as shit to cope with. Had, a drug addiction although passed it and been clean since 12DEC2014 and been kicking ass since but alcohols been like part of my diet or something. I haven't been drinking nearly as much as I was, but I did have a "relapse" which was drinking way to much and to the point of having the barrel of a 870 in my mouth then deciding last minute, 7ounce wasn't gonna do the trick, so took a ride on plastic with LE to hospital, I'm doing much better since then but slowly improving. I'm not looking for attention but what is some trick you guys do to forget about your fuck ups and push forward? I've been finding motivation left and right but a lot has send me back to calling my father telling him I love him thinking it was gonna be the last time I talked to him?

Never been an alcoholic, but struggled with opiates for over a decade including IV heroin. Finally ended up doing almost two years in prison and that was enough time to get sober long enough to take a good, hard look at the life I'd been living and what was likely in store for me if I continued down that path. Turned my addiction to training and never looked back. Got right around five years sobriety right now.

As far as forget my fuck ups I've never forgotten. All that time I spent in a cell with my thoughts I got intimately familiar with how big of a piece of shit I'd been for years and how much wrong I'd done in my life. Honestly the guilt was eating me alive for a long time. Especially because some of the people I'd wronged are beyond ever making things right. Including my grandpa, who is dead, my grandma that has advanced dementia, my other grandma that I was too busy to visit in the hospital and died without me getting to see her, my dad who never got to see me as a sober and functional adult before he died and an ex of mine that was an awesome chick and I wrecked her life and she attempted suicide because of me. She's alive, but would likely never speak to me. I'll never forget and don't want to. I have come to terms with it though. I just try to be a good person now, try to put good back into the world whenever I can. While I can never make up for some of the things I've done I can try to be the best person I can be. I can try to live like a man my dad would have been proud of if he was still alive to see it. I'm not religious or anything either. I do feel like if you put good into the world some good will find its way back to you.

So don't forget your fuck ups. Learn from them, let them shape the person you want to become. Find something that will fill the hole alcohol will leave. It's AA for some, training for some, church for some, whatever it takes to fill that black hole.

 

[cflow69]

Hit the gym 5 -6 times a week ..i was a heroine ...crack ..meth ..oxy...pretty much anything I could get my hands on kind of addict ..the gym saved me..when I feel like shit I Hit the gym .when I'm happy i hit the gym .when I feel like drinking i hit the gym .when I feel like punching someone in the face I Hit the gym ..its my kind of therapy brother ...

 

[PuddlePiratePunk]

You guys are right, looks like I'll be going for round 2 tonight at the gym, thanks meso! Once again I learn something I probably knew but had to read it from people I look up too!

 

[VaginaShark]

I second training, it helps for sure. Supposedly it plays on the same reward system in your brain that's triggered by drinking or using drugs. That's why people can actually get addicted to exercising.

I think one of the members here mentioned it before but training routines should be a staple in every addiction recovery program, including court appointed ones. I mean states can pay counselors to sit around and talk for hours on end in meetings every day. No reason they couldn't add in a fitness coach for an hour or so.

I don't know about anyone else but I'd be more willing to open up to people I was training and making progress with every week. Part of the reason I think so many of us come on here to vent to each other. We all kind of share a common goal.

 

[Perrin Aybara]

I second training, it helps for sure. Supposedly it plays on the same reward system in your brain that's triggered by drinking or using drugs. That's why people can actually get addicted to exercising.

I think one of the members here mentioned it before but training routines should be a staple in every addiction recovery program, including court appointed ones. I mean states can pay counselors to sit around and talk for hours on end in meetings every day. No reason they couldn't add in a fitness coach for an hour or so.

I don't know about anyone else but I'd be more willing to open up to people I was training and making progress with every week. Part of the reason I think so many of us come on here to vent to each other. We all kind of share a common goal.

I remember that and it was a brilliant idea. Somebody should really try to start a program like that. I bet it would be immensely successful.

 

[Munky]

Drugs are only 15% of the problem the other 85% is we do not live very well without numbing out so we are asshole's when we are clean unless we are living some sort of spiritual program , the real trouble starts in the addictive mind left to our own devices we are doomed to failure / that's what I was told in rehab what do you think?

 

[Demondosage]

Drug addiction all comes back to one thing, your character and will. Working out builds you up, so to me it's only natural that when feelings of being built up overcome feeling of being beat down that it'd be easier to kick drug addiction

 

[DrinkFlintWater]

I second training, it helps for sure. Supposedly it plays on the same reward system in your brain that's triggered by drinking or using drugs. That's why people can actually get addicted to exercising.

I think one of the members here mentioned it before but training routines should be a staple in every addiction recovery program, including court appointed ones. I mean states can pay counselors to sit around and talk for hours on end in meetings every day. No reason they couldn't add in a fitness coach for an hour or so.

I don't know about anyone else but I'd be more willing to open up to people I was training and making progress with every week. Part of the reason I think so many of us come on here to vent to each other. We all kind of share a common goal.

I was inpatient once at TC..."behavior modification" etc...anyway, it had a really nice gym setup that you couldnt use until you moved up in phases throughout the program....needless to say i memorized this, completed that etc until i was able to get my 1 hr pass everyday in the gym...loved it....stealing milk out the kitchen and having family members sneak me in cans of tuna but i made it work....

 

[JMalone]

+10000 To training over using. I'm an alcoholic that dabbled in other stuff, but drank hard and heavy until I was forced to get sober by the state. I hated it at first, but can say it was the best thing I ever did. I just celebrated my 5yr sober bday and am very grateful I made it this far. I've had the worst 6 mos of my life recently with a messy divorce and losing my job. In the end, none of that shit matters. I'll come out the other side bigger and stronger and better than ever.

When it comes to lifting, I like this quote from the legendary Henry Rollins: “The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.”

 

[DrinkFlintWater]

I just celebrated my 5yr sober

Congrats bro...im not at 5 yrs....yet. Thats a serious accomplishment....

 

[PIZZABOY]

I tossed my speed pipe out the window on the way to work on my birthday in 2005. Before that it was coke, before that... Seemed like I always had to have a crutch. When my son was born 5 years ago, Got off the drugs, started to drink. I can't drink just one. Got dui, cost like 10k. Thank God for my son. I didn't have a problem hurting myself, but I couldn't do that to him, he saved my life. I was 40 when he was born, I don't remember much of my thirties. I smoke weed now, and limit my drinks to two, period.and not around him. Every day is easier than the last. I watched my wife of 14 years, my partner in crime go down the tubes. As much as I tried to help, I failed her, we divorced.I have my son full time and I will not fail him.

 

[JMalone]

Congrats bro...im not at 5 yrs....yet. Thats a serious accomplishment....

Thanks man! It's been hard, but the best thing I've done. My ex took a lot from me, but I'm proud to say she didn't rob me of my sobriety and sanity. Her on the other hand, has a huge coke and drinking problem paired with serious psychological issues. If she hadn't fucked me over so bad, I'd feel bad for her, but she chose all this shit despite my best efforts to help.