You're actually spot on about the real world skills thing. Definitely something I'm lacking. I dropped out of school at 17 and moved out to pursue easy money and a party lifestyle. Pretty much did that until I went to prison in 2011. Never got an education, rarely worked or learned any job skills, never lived anything resembling a normal life and picked up a criminal record. Not that it's anyone's fault but my own, but this is what I'm working with. At 33 all this is still pretty new to me. I'm nothing if not resourceful though and I will dig myself out of this.
As far as the training I know I take it too far and too seriously. I have a big hole left that heroin used to fill and this lifestyle keeps those demons at bay.
My younger half brother has a life similar to what you described. He's actually humble and a good kid though, but his life is already laid out for him. His dad (my stepdad) is multimillionaire. My brother was given a nice house, he has a new Camaro and getting put through school. He'll eventually get handed the reins to the family business and no matter what he'll inherit millions someday. He realizes how lucky he is. I thought for a long time if I worked hard and proved myself maybe my stepdad would throw me a bone. Maybe a halfway decent position, but instead he laid me off my full time position and only lets me do dishes here and there. That was my goal until a couple months ago, I thought maybe I could be a manager or something. Now I see that's unlikely to ever happen, regardless of how hard I work for him. Another reason I'm trying to get moved into my trailer ASAP.
I've just got to get some stability back in my life. My ex fiancee leaving me for another woman last year and leaving me with nowhere to go except my mom and stepdad's really threw me for a loop. Getting into my own place is my top priority right now. I don't want to keep living here. Do you understand where I'm coming from with that? Way too old to be living here and I just can't stand feeling lesser than and like I owe them. I mean I appreciate they let me crash here for a few months, but I'm also kind of pissed how they did me with laying me off. They got all the friends and family set up with cushy positions and meanwhile I'm left out in the cold. It's whatever though, nobody owes me a damn thing and I get that. I just want out of here and away from all this shit. Once I'm in my place and comfortable school comes next. Believe me what I'm doing now isn't what I'm meant to be doing. You're going to see that. I know I'll still be here on Meso and I'm sure you will be, too. I'm actually highly intelligent, contrary to what my mess of life and lack of education would lead you to believe. It's been nothing but an uphill battle so far and I expect the future will be, too. I'm not the quitting type though. I really do appreciate what you said and what we've talked about through PM. In the months and years to follow you will read about my successes, trust me.
Smartest man I ever met.
