Self phlebotomy

Sitting down with a makeshift table between legs with the cup on it. Kinda hunched over it holding the barrel in position pointing downwards into the cup.
My crit was 54 and fucken Head was naggin on me. Finally did some labs and figured it out. After draining next day felt fuckin amazing. Dude you’re a badass tough mothefucker and I want to learn your ways. A 16g in my vein is no joke would hate to bruise it after several attempts. Gonna have to sift through your posts to learn your ways. One day I want to try
 
Man, when you get time...could you post some pics or a tutorial? Id be in debt to you!

My crit was 54 and fucken Head was naggin on me. Finally did some labs and figured it out. After draining next day felt fuckin amazing. Dude you’re a badass tough mothefucker and I want to learn your ways. A 16g in my vein is no joke would hate to bruise it after several attempts. Gonna have to sift through your posts to learn your ways. One day I want to try

PM sent
 
So it's still not approved. I'll copy the core of my response and list from relevant link. PITA

My text: I use an 18g probably 1.5". I have a pack of thick medical tubing from Amazon that the needle slides right on to with firm hold (got the idea from this thread or another). I cut a few feet so that when I'm sitting it reaches down into a a water/soda bottle between my feet. Using athletic tape, I tape the end securely to the bottle opening (leave an inch or so inside the bottle - use a couple pieces of tape). I also get the needle firmly inserted and then tape the tubing down to my forearm about 5" away....this helps tremendously and I think that's why people get clots as it's not seated deeply and it wiggles back. When it's done I pull the needle out of me, rest drains in the bottle, pull the tape and tubing from the bottle, and put the bottle screw top back on so I don't spill it anywhere.

Those pictures above are gnarly as hell...from a pure aesthetics stance you are going to like my solution A LOT more.

Honestly most of my ideas I think I got from this thread and one other. I do use a blood pressure cuff but honestly I'm not sure I need it. Can't hurt though adds one more PITA to the picture. Here are some links I have saved

Copied from one of the linka:

A. 5/32" OD polyurethane tubing, preferably clear.
B. 18 gauge x 1.5" needle
C. BP cuff
D. 16 oz clear water bottle
E. first aid tape (I use electric tape)
F. gauze wrap

1. cut polyurethane tubing to about 4 feet long.
2. insert one end of tubing into the needle luer lock opening (should press fit), then wrap with tape to insure tubing stays in.
3. poke two small holes in the water bottle cap, make sure they are smaller than the tubing so the tube press fits in.
4. press the other end of the tube into one of the holes and secure with tape if needed, and leave the other hole open.
5. put the cuff on but do not pump.
6. find the vein and clean the are with alcohol few times.
7. get a large cotton ball ready for after pulling the needle out.
8. pump the cuff until you can feel the vein then with a quick move stick the needle in at a very shallow angle. remember the vein is only skin deep, so make sure you go in with very shallow angle. you should see blood shoot though the tubing and into the bottle. if blood slows down simply squeeze your fist every few seconds, if still slow you can increase the cuff pressure as needed.

IMPORTANT!
when pulling out the needle make sure the cuff is completely deflated, otherwise you'll bleed allover the place
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9. when finished deflate the cuff completely and pull the needle out, then immediately place a large cotton ball on the area and press firmly, rise your hand for about a minute or so then check and see if the bleeding stopped. add a new cotton ball then wrap with gauze for about 3 hours or so. this part is much easier if someone else does it for you.
 
Well other post isn't approved so I copied my text and text only from a relevant link as I figured it was the links. Now this one's needs approval too. WTF? Just pm me. Fuck it for trying to help. Might take me a bit to get back to anyone
 
i had an idea. Why not lay your arm over the edge of the bathtub, insert needle and drain into something that's measurable? That way, any mess is easily washed away when finished.
 
i had an idea. Why not lay your arm over the edge of the bathtub, insert needle and drain into something that's measurable? That way, any mess is easily washed away when finished.

This is what I do for the most part. I sit on the edge and the tub runs into a ~1pt bottle. I seal the bottle in the tub. If a drop of blood or so gets anywhere it's easy to clean in a tub with that material.
 
I personally jab the veins on the inside of the ankles that way I'm free to use both hands. I'll place a tourniquet above the knee while I sit and let it drain using an 18 gauge harpoon with the plunger out. I'm able to drain a cup out before it coagulates then I get a new syringe and repeat on the other leg. I was in Europe in the 80's so I'm still banned from donating due to the Mad Cow scare so this is why I have to go this route, sucks but works
 
I personally jab the veins on the inside of the ankles that way I'm free to use both hands. I'll place a tourniquet above the knee while I sit and let it drain using an 18 gauge harpoon with the plunger out. I'm able to drain a cup out before it coagulates then I get a new syringe and repeat on the other leg. I was in Europe in the 80's so I'm still banned from donating due to the Mad Cow scare so this is why I have to go this route, sucks but works

No shit. i like this idea. i may just give this a try. Seems like it would be so much easier.

Even better is, if i bruise the insertion point, no one will be able to see it. Big bruise near an arm vein is an awful look.
 
The guys doing this are straight savages! I like it. Reminds me of the time I had to drain my super inflamed hemorrhoids with a 23g needle. Prob could of given a small blood donation with the results.
 
Mitigation baby, that's what pushes me to perform these medieval acts on myself. I enjoy the positive aspect of juicing but it would be foolish to overlook the negatives that are a part of it. I consider it a part of the cycle along with diet, sleep, training, hydration, etc. Don't even get me started on coffee enemas for liver health, the shit we do to be swole...
 
I can't get past the mental block of sticking a needle in my vein.
Having donated blood and having it drawn for testing a shit ton of times helps. Honestly it's really quite easy and I bruise myself far less than even the prof phlebotomists do to me. After a few tries one gets the hang of it.
 
Having donated blood and having it drawn for testing a shit ton of times helps. Honestly it's really quite easy and I bruise myself far less than even the prof phlebotomists do to me. After a few tries one gets the hang of it.

I've donated many times. Still doesn't help me get past that .
 
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